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trobrianders
> Teenager of the Year <

Papua New Guinea
3302 Posts

Posted - 04/19/2007 :  18:10:53  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Old favourite. What's brown and sticky?
A stick. My nephew just heard it, laughed his ass off, he's young.

What do you call...?

A one legged woman?
Eileen
A man with a wooden head?
Edward
A man with three wooden heads?
Edward Woodward (Actor-best known for Wicker Man)
A victim of lion attack?
Claude
A shark attack victim?
Bob

My favourite of all time.
There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the river bank like an idiot. (Steven Wright)
I have a large sea shell collection which I keep scattered around the beaches of the world comes a close second. Not forgetting
I bought some powdered water but I don't know what to add.
I bought some batteries but they weren't included.
I know when I'm going to die cos my birth certificate has an expiration date.
- All Steven Wright

_______________
Ed is the hoo hoo

Edited by - trobrianders on 04/20/2007 00:47:25
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =

United Kingdom
17125 Posts

Posted - 04/20/2007 :  05:03:24  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Who is Steven Wright? I like his quotes.


I'd walk her everyday, into a shady place
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orchid
- FB Fan -

12 Posts

Posted - 04/20/2007 :  10:47:32  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
that was very very funny!

there are some really funny videos on you tube

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XYffXv7jMYQ

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Carl
- A 'Fifth' Catholic -

Ireland
11546 Posts

Posted - 04/20/2007 :  14:12:30  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
What did the fish say after he took his fiance out for dinner?

"Your plaice or mine?"
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coastline
> Teenager of the Year <

USA
3111 Posts

Posted - 04/20/2007 :  14:16:12  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Jeez, Carl, you sent me to my dictionary for that one. Never heard the word "plaice" before in my life.


Please pardon me, for these my wrongs.
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Carl
- A 'Fifth' Catholic -

Ireland
11546 Posts

Posted - 04/20/2007 :  14:20:18  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Your codding me!!
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coastline
> Teenager of the Year <

USA
3111 Posts

Posted - 04/20/2007 :  14:22:45  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
You need to scale back on the fish puns, Carl.


Please pardon me, for these my wrongs.
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Carl
- A 'Fifth' Catholic -

Ireland
11546 Posts

Posted - 04/20/2007 :  14:23:49  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I'm hooked!! (You know the way a fisher man uses a hook.)
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coastline
> Teenager of the Year <

USA
3111 Posts

Posted - 04/20/2007 :  14:28:17  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Nice line.


Please pardon me, for these my wrongs.
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trobrianders
> Teenager of the Year <

Papua New Guinea
3302 Posts

Posted - 04/20/2007 :  14:34:35  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
One more
I have a microwave fireplace. Last night I spent an evening by the fire in eight minutes. SW

_______________
Ed is the hoo hoo
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s_wrenn
* Dog in the Sand *

Ireland
1851 Posts

Posted - 04/20/2007 :  14:41:59  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I had a “Paddy Englishman/Paddy Scotsman/Paddy Irishman” joke to post but there’s so many variations of it I don’t know which one was the original version


/ @ * ~ ¦ ¬ . , |
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coastline
> Teenager of the Year <

USA
3111 Posts

Posted - 04/24/2007 :  11:33:22  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
"Doc," says Steve, "I want to be castrated."

"What on earth for?" asks the doctor in amazement.

"It's something I've been thinking about for a long time and I want to have it done," replies Steve.

"But have you thought it through properly?" asks the doctor, "It's a very serious operation and once it's done, there's no going back. It will change your life forever!"

"I'm aware of that and you're not going to change my mind. Either you book me in to be castrated or I'll simply go to another doctor."

"Well, OK", says the doctor, "But it's against my better judgment!"

So Steve has his operation, and the next day he is up and walking very slowly, legs apart, down the hospital corridor with his drip stand. Heading towards him is another patient, who is walking exactly the same way.

"Hi there," says Steve. "It looks as if you've just had the same operation as me."

"Well," said the patient, "I finally decided after 37 years of life that I would like to be circumcised."

Steve stared at him in horror and screamed, "SHIT! THAT'S the word!"



Please pardon me, for these my wrongs.
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =

United Kingdom
17125 Posts

Posted - 04/25/2007 :  04:36:35  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Haha, good one Coasty.


I'd walk her everyday, into a shady place
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Carl
- A 'Fifth' Catholic -

Ireland
11546 Posts

Posted - 04/25/2007 :  08:54:14  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
What was the fish's favorite actor? Leonardo DiCarprio!

*cough*
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vilainde
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<

Niue
7446 Posts

Posted - 05/04/2007 :  14:04:37  Show Profile  Visit vilainde's Homepage  Reply with Quote
After hearing a shot, Hank ran next door and found his friend Tony crying. "Say, what's wrong?" Hank asked. Tony sobbed, "I had to shoot my dog." Hank said, "My God! Was he mad?" Tony replied, "Well, he wasn't exactly overjoyed."


Denis

"Can you hear me? I aint got shit to say."
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =

United Kingdom
17125 Posts

Posted - 05/11/2007 :  04:55:17  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Not a joke, but still pretty funny.

Many Sydneyfolks DID hear this on the FOX FM morning show in Sydney. The
DJs
play a game where they award winners great prizes. The game is called "Mate
Match". The DJs call someone at work and ask if they are married or
seriously involved with someone. If the contestant answers "yes", he or she
is then asked 3 random yet highly personal questions.
The person is also asked to divulge the name of their partner (with phone
number) for verification. If their partner answers those same three
questions correctly, they both win the prize.

One particular game, however, several months ago made the HarbourCitydrop
to
its knees with laughter and is possibly the funniest thing you've heard
yet.
Anyway, here's how it all went down:
DJ: "Hey! This is Ed on FOX-FM. Have you ever heard of 'Mate Match'?"
Contestant: (laughing) "Yes, I have."
DJ: "Great! Then you know we're giving away a trip to the Gold Coast if you
win. What is your name? First only please."
Contestant: "Brian."
DJ: "Brian, are you married or what?"
Brian: (laughing nervously) "Yes, I am married."
DJ: "Thank you. Now, what is your wife's name? First only please."
Brian: "Sara."
DJ: "Is Sara at work, Brian?"
Brian: "She is gonna kill me."
DJ: "Stay with me here, Brian! Is she at work?"
Brian: (laughing) "Yes, she's at work."
DJ: "Okay, first question - when was the last time you had sex?"
Brian: "About 8 o'clock this morning."
DJ: "Atta boy, Brian."
Brian: (laughing sheepishly) "Well..."
DJ: "Question #2 - How long did it last?"
Brian: "About 10 minutes."
DJ: "Wow! You really want that trip, huh? No one would ever have said that
if a trip wasn't at stake."
Brian: "Yeah, that trip sure would be nice."
DJ: "Okay, final question. Where did you have sex at 8 o'clock this
morning?
Brian: (laughing hard) "I, ummm, I, well..."
DJ: "This sounds good, Brian. Where was it at?"
Brian: "Not that it was all that great, but her mum is staying with us for
a
couple of weeks..."
DJ: "Uh huh..."
Brian: "...and the Mother-In-Law was in the shower at the time."
DJ: "Atta boy, Brian."
Brian: "On the kitchen table."
DJ: "Not that great?? That is more adventure than the previous hundred
times
I've done it. Okay folks, I will put Brian on hold, get this wife's work
number and call her up. You listen to this."
[3 minutes of commercials follow. ]
DJ: "Okay audience; let's call Sarah, shall we?" (Touch
tones.....ringing....)
Clerk: "Kinkos."
DJ: "Hey, is Sarah around there somewhere?"
Clerk: "This is she."
DJ: "Sarah, this is Ed with FOX-FM. We are live on the air right now and
I've been talking with Brian for a couple of hours now."
Sarah: (laughing) "A couple of hours?"
DJ: "Well, a while now. He is on the line with us. Brian knows not to give
any\answers away or you'll lose. Sooooooo... do you know the rules of 'Mate
Match'?"
Sarah: "No."
DJ: "Good!"
Brian: (laughing)
Sarah: (laughing) "Brian, what the hell are you up to?"
Brian: (laughing) "Just answer his questions honestly, okay? Be completely
honest."
DJ: "Yeah yeah yeah. Sure. Now, I will ask you 3 questions, Sarah. If your
answers match Brian's answers, then the both of you will be off to the Gold
Coast for 5 days on us.
Sarah: (laughing) "Yes."
DJ: "Alright. When did you last have sex, Sarah?"
Sarah: "Oh God, Brian....uh, this morning before Brian went to work."
DJ: "What time?"
Sarah: "Around 8 this morning."
DJ: "Very good, next question. How long did it last?"
Sarah: "12, 15 minutes maybe."
DJ: "Hmmmm. That's close enough. I am sure she is trying to protect his
manhood. We've got one last question, Sarah. You are one question away from
a trip to the Gold Coast. Are you ready?"
Sarah: (laughing) "Yes."
DJ: "Where did you have it?"
Sarah: "OH MY GOD, BRIAN!! You didn't tell them that did you?"
Brian: "Just tell him, honey."
DJ: "What is bothering you so much, Sarah?"
Sarah: "Well..."
DJ: Come on Sarah.....where did you have it?
Sarah: "Up the arse....."
After a long pause, the DJ said, "Folks, we need to take a station break"
And the drivers of Sydneyalmost crashed their cars laughing!


I'd walk her everyday, into a shady place
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soundofataris
= Cult of Ray =

USA
715 Posts

Posted - 05/11/2007 :  10:42:07  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Homers_pet_monkey

Not a joke, but still pretty funny.

Many Sydneyfolks DID hear this on the FOX FM morning show in Sydney. The
DJs
play a game where they award winners great prizes. The game is called "Mate
Match". The DJs call someone at work and ask if they are married or
seriously involved with someone. If the contestant answers "yes", he or she
is then asked 3 random yet highly personal questions.
The person is also asked to divulge the name of their partner (with phone
number) for verification. If their partner answers those same three
questions correctly, they both win the prize.

One particular game, however, several months ago made the HarbourCitydrop
to
its knees with laughter and is possibly the funniest thing you've heard
yet.
Anyway, here's how it all went down:
DJ: "Hey! This is Ed on FOX-FM. Have you ever heard of 'Mate Match'?"
Contestant: (laughing) "Yes, I have."
DJ: "Great! Then you know we're giving away a trip to the Gold Coast if you
win. What is your name? First only please."
Contestant: "Brian."
DJ: "Brian, are you married or what?"
Brian: (laughing nervously) "Yes, I am married."
DJ: "Thank you. Now, what is your wife's name? First only please."
Brian: "Sara."
DJ: "Is Sara at work, Brian?"
Brian: "She is gonna kill me."
DJ: "Stay with me here, Brian! Is she at work?"
Brian: (laughing) "Yes, she's at work."
DJ: "Okay, first question - when was the last time you had sex?"
Brian: "About 8 o'clock this morning."
DJ: "Atta boy, Brian."
Brian: (laughing sheepishly) "Well..."
DJ: "Question #2 - How long did it last?"
Brian: "About 10 minutes."
DJ: "Wow! You really want that trip, huh? No one would ever have said that
if a trip wasn't at stake."
Brian: "Yeah, that trip sure would be nice."
DJ: "Okay, final question. Where did you have sex at 8 o'clock this
morning?
Brian: (laughing hard) "I, ummm, I, well..."
DJ: "This sounds good, Brian. Where was it at?"
Brian: "Not that it was all that great, but her mum is staying with us for
a
couple of weeks..."
DJ: "Uh huh..."
Brian: "...and the Mother-In-Law was in the shower at the time."
DJ: "Atta boy, Brian."
Brian: "On the kitchen table."
DJ: "Not that great?? That is more adventure than the previous hundred
times
I've done it. Okay folks, I will put Brian on hold, get this wife's work
number and call her up. You listen to this."
[3 minutes of commercials follow. ]
DJ: "Okay audience; let's call Sarah, shall we?" (Touch
tones.....ringing....)
Clerk: "Kinkos."
DJ: "Hey, is Sarah around there somewhere?"
Clerk: "This is she."
DJ: "Sarah, this is Ed with FOX-FM. We are live on the air right now and
I've been talking with Brian for a couple of hours now."
Sarah: (laughing) "A couple of hours?"
DJ: "Well, a while now. He is on the line with us. Brian knows not to give
any\answers away or you'll lose. Sooooooo... do you know the rules of 'Mate
Match'?"
Sarah: "No."
DJ: "Good!"
Brian: (laughing)
Sarah: (laughing) "Brian, what the hell are you up to?"
Brian: (laughing) "Just answer his questions honestly, okay? Be completely
honest."
DJ: "Yeah yeah yeah. Sure. Now, I will ask you 3 questions, Sarah. If your
answers match Brian's answers, then the both of you will be off to the Gold
Coast for 5 days on us.
Sarah: (laughing) "Yes."
DJ: "Alright. When did you last have sex, Sarah?"
Sarah: "Oh God, Brian....uh, this morning before Brian went to work."
DJ: "What time?"
Sarah: "Around 8 this morning."
DJ: "Very good, next question. How long did it last?"
Sarah: "12, 15 minutes maybe."
DJ: "Hmmmm. That's close enough. I am sure she is trying to protect his
manhood. We've got one last question, Sarah. You are one question away from
a trip to the Gold Coast. Are you ready?"
Sarah: (laughing) "Yes."
DJ: "Where did you have it?"
Sarah: "OH MY GOD, BRIAN!! You didn't tell them that did you?"
Brian: "Just tell him, honey."
DJ: "What is bothering you so much, Sarah?"
Sarah: "Well..."
DJ: Come on Sarah.....where did you have it?
Sarah: "Up the arse....."
After a long pause, the DJ said, "Folks, we need to take a station break"
And the drivers of Sydneyalmost crashed their cars laughing!


I'd walk her everyday, into a shady place




It was funnier when that happen on the newlywed game back in the seventies. Hell, what am I saying, its still funny.

---------------------------------------
i try to be mallory but i'm still skippy
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pixiestu
> Teenager of the Year <

United Kingdom
2564 Posts

Posted - 05/11/2007 :  15:22:51  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
A string walks into a bar with a few friends and orders a beer. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve strings here."

The string walks away a little upset and sits down with his friends. A few minutes later he goes back to the bar and orders a beer. The bartender, looking a little exasperated, says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve strings here."

So the string goes back to his table. Then he gets an idea. He ties himself in a loop and messes up the top of his hair. Then he walks back up to the bar and orders a beer.

The bartender squints at him and says, "Hey, aren't you a string?"

And the string says, "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."



"The arc of triumph"
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =

United Kingdom
17125 Posts

Posted - 05/25/2007 :  06:04:42  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
An Irishman was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet.
I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks, the next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds."
When the Irishman returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 60 POUNDS!

"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?"

The Irishman nodded..."I'll tell you though, by jaesuz, I t'aut I were going to drop dead dat 3rd day."

"From hunger, you mean?"

"No, from de bloody skippin'!!!!!"


I'd walk her everyday, into a shady place
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Carl
- A 'Fifth' Catholic -

Ireland
11546 Posts

Posted - 05/25/2007 :  08:04:30  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
An Englishman walks into a bar.

"The Irish are all thick, backwards people who can't speak properly!"

"Yes", says the barman, "and you're a racist c*nt!"

(Seriously, just kidding, Homers!)
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Cheeseman1000
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<

Iceland
8201 Posts

Posted - 05/25/2007 :  08:26:25  Show Profile  Visit Cheeseman1000's Homepage  Reply with Quote
What do you call a black man flying a plane?





A pilot, you racist.


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s_wrenn
* Dog in the Sand *

Ireland
1851 Posts

Posted - 05/27/2007 :  12:16:53  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were asked in a survey what nationality they would like to have been born if they hadn't been born The nationality they were.
'If I hadn't been born English,' said The Englishman, 'I would have liked to have been French.'
'If I hadn't been born Scottish,' said The Scotsman, 'I would have liked to have been Irish.'
'If I hadn't been born Irish,' said The Irishman, 'I would have been ashamed of myself.'




Paddy Englishman, Paddy Irishman and Paddy Scotsman were kidnapped by a maniacal Lord.
He brought them back to his mansion where he threatened to kill them if they did not sit at his table and dine with him. He promised to let them escape if they would do only one thing; During their stay they had to speak in rhyme.
The food was served, and the Lord was growing impatient with their silence.
Paddy Englishman spoke up, “Oh Lord supreme, pass me the cream”
Then Paddy Scotsman said “Oh Lord Devine, pass me the wine”
Paddy Irishman turned and shouted “You bald-headed fucker, pass me the butter”


/ @ * ~ ¦ ¬ . , |

Edited by - s_wrenn on 05/27/2007 12:18:13
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shineoftheever
> Teenager of the Year <

Canada
4307 Posts

Posted - 05/27/2007 :  14:03:41  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
what's better than winning gold at the special olympics?


The waxworks were an immensely eloquent dissertation on the wonderful ordinariness of mankind.
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pixiestu
> Teenager of the Year <

United Kingdom
2564 Posts

Posted - 06/06/2007 :  12:35:37  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose.

A young, student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse", he mumbles, from behind the mask. "Are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."

He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, are my testicles black?"
Concerned that he may elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worry about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles in the other. Then, she takes a close look and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir!"

The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but, listen very, very closely...... Are my test results back?


"The arc of triumph"
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Srisaket
= Cult of Ray =

Thailand
313 Posts

Posted - 06/06/2007 :  19:27:22  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
An Englishman, Welshman and West Indian are in hospital, waiting for
their wives to give birth. There is quite a bit of pacing up and down

When the nurse comes out and happily announces that they are all fathers of bouncing baby boys.

"There's just one problem" she says. "Because they were all born at the
same time we got the tags mixed up and we don't know which baby belongs to whom. Would you, as their fathers, mind coming to identify them?"

The men agree and walk into the delivery room and look at the babies.

Immediately the Englishman stoops down and picks up the black baby.
"Yes, this is definitely my baby" he says confidently.

"Um, excuse me" says the West Indian "but I think it's fairly obvious
that this is my son"

The Englishman pulls him aside and says "I see where you're coming from Mate, but one of these babies is Welsh and I'm not prepared to take the risk"
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Srisaket
= Cult of Ray =

Thailand
313 Posts

Posted - 06/06/2007 :  19:31:26  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
[Very special birthday!

This week we celebrate a special birthday. Monica Lewinsky turned 31.
Can you believe it?

It seems like only yesterday she was crawling around the White House
on her hands and knees, and putting everything in her mouth.
They grow up so fast, don't they?
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Srisaket
= Cult of Ray =

Thailand
313 Posts

Posted - 06/06/2007 :  20:21:57  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Shipwrecked

A New Zealander was washed up on a beach after a terrible shipwreck. Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him. After looking around, he realised that they were stranded on a deserted island.

After being there a while, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to watch the sun set.

One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus clouds the breeze was warm and gentle - a perfect night for romance. As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the lonely Kiwi. Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it. But the sheepdog, ever protective of the sheep, growled fiercely until the man took his arm from around the sheep.

After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but there was no more cuddling.

A few weeks passed by and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck. The only survivor was a beautiful young woman, the most beautiful woman the man had ever seen. She was in a pretty bad way when he rescued her and he slowly nursed her back to health.

When the young maiden was well enough, he introduced her to their evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze - perfect for a night of romance.

Pretty soon, the Kiwi started to get "those feelings" again. He fought the urges as long as he could, but he finally gave in and leaned over to the young woman, cautiously, and whispered in her ear "Would you mind taking the dog for a walk."
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Srisaket
= Cult of Ray =

Thailand
313 Posts

Posted - 06/07/2007 :  20:16:23  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
The Gynaecologist

A gynaecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and was on the verge of being burned out. Hoping to try another career where skilful hands would be beneficial, he decided to change careers and become a mechanic. He found out from the local technical college what was involved, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could.

When the time for the practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared carefully for weeks, and completed the exam with tremendous skill.

When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150%. Fearing an error, he called the instructor, saying "I don't want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I was wondering if there had been an error which needed adjusting."

The instructor said, "During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark. You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark."

The instructor went on to say, "I gave you an extra 50% because you did all of it through the muffler

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vilainde
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<

Niue
7446 Posts

Posted - 06/13/2007 :  04:55:39  Show Profile  Visit vilainde's Homepage  Reply with Quote
Q: What's orange and sounds like a parrot?



A: A carrot


Denis

"Can you hear me? I aint got shit to say."
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =

United Kingdom
17125 Posts

Posted - 06/13/2007 :  14:03:41  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Q: What's brown and sticky?




A: A stick


I'd walk her everyday, into a shady place
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pixiestu
> Teenager of the Year <

United Kingdom
2564 Posts

Posted - 06/13/2007 :  16:50:06  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Q: What's pink and fluffy?



A: Pink fluff


"The arc of triumph"
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s_wrenn
* Dog in the Sand *

Ireland
1851 Posts

Posted - 06/13/2007 :  16:50:17  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Q. What do you call a woman with a gambling problem?


A. Betty


/ @ * ~ ¦ ¬ . , |
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Srisaket
= Cult of Ray =

Thailand
313 Posts

Posted - 06/17/2007 :  23:52:48  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
OL' BLUE

A young farm lad from East Texas goes off to college, but about 1/3 of the way through the semester, he has foolishly squandered away all of the money his parents gave him.

Then he gets an idea. He calls his daddy. "Dad," he says, "you won’t believe the wonders that modern education is coming up with! Why, they actually have a program here at TU that will teach our dog Ol' Blue how to talk!"

"That's absolutely amazing," his father says. "How do I get him in that program?"

"Just send him down here with $1,000" the boy says. "I'll get him into the course." So, his father sends the dog and the $1,000.

About 2/3 way through the semester, the money runs out. The boy calls his father again.

"So how's Ol' Blue doing, son," his father asks. "Awesome, Dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you just won't believe this - they've had such good results with this program that they've implemented a new one to teach the animals how to READ!"

"READ," says his father, "No kidding! What do I have to do to get him in that program?" Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class." His father sends the money.

The boy now has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out that the dog can neither talk, nor read. So he shoots the dog.

When he gets home at the end of the semester, his father meets him at the gate, and is all excited.

"Where's Ol' Blue? I just can't wait to see him talk and read something!"

"Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Ol' Blue was in the living room kicked back in the recliner, reading the Wall Street Journal, like he usually does. Then he turned to me and asked, "So, is your daddy still messin' around with that little redhead who lives in town?"

The father says, "I hope you SHOT that son of a *^%$# before he talks to your Mother!"

"I sure did, Dad!"

"That's my boy!"

(The kid went on to be a successful lawyer.)
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kfs
= Cult of Ray =

USA
889 Posts

Posted - 06/18/2007 :  08:07:15  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
A bar of gold walked into a bar.
The bartender said, "A u...get outta here!"

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I've seen blue you've never seen
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coastline
> Teenager of the Year <

USA
3111 Posts

Posted - 06/18/2007 :  09:54:11  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by kfs

A bar of gold walked into a bar.
The bartender said, "A u...get outta here!"

______________________
I've seen blue you've never seen

Sterling.


Please pardon me, for these my wrongs.
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