| Author |
 Topic  |
|
PixieSteve
> Teenager of the Year <
Poland
4698 Posts |
 Posted - 08/22/2007 : 08:30:46
|
it's not the ] he messed up. it's missing double quotes around the url. noob spammer. although it's only this shitty forum software that requires quotes...
"Idiot" is just her sig. |
 |
|
|
floop
= Wannabe Volunteer =
Mexico
15297 Posts |
Posted - 08/24/2007 : 11:55:37
|
quote:
Originally posted by breakmybody
Well, it's not a come back, my life is changing , and I have a lot to think about and to do, as I am by myself now, with a lot of work, my children, house, etc... It's like getting used to a new life, and it's not very easy but it is as it has to be.
I just remember you often and today I felt like opening my heart.
You can run, but you can't hide who you are
hey rita. missed you.
stay strong.. |
|
|
|
floop
= Wannabe Volunteer =
Mexico
15297 Posts |
Posted - 08/24/2007 : 11:59:10
|
quote:
Originally posted by Homers_pet_monkey
I agree with you though Jon, I think it's harder to adjust when you are so used to being single. That's why I still like to have time on my own, and don't sleep as well with her.
it doesn't help that she snores either.
wait, i don't know that. |
|
|
|
breakmybody
- FB Fan -
Greenland
136 Posts |
Posted - 08/27/2007 : 02:58:40
|
Thank you all for the nice words, Mike 1, Mike 2, kathryn, Tony (miss you all too)... It's been really hard to deal with this all, I've been with the same man for almost 18 years (16 married), it's more time of my life with him than without him.
But I guess that life it's just like that, always changing, and if it is happening it must be for some reason.
You can run, but you can't hide who you are
|
|
|
|
kathryn
~ Selkie Bride ~
Belgium
15320 Posts |
Posted - 08/27/2007 : 04:13:59
|
Email me, if you'd like, Rita. Thinking of you.
I got some heaven in my head
|
|
|
|
Broken Face
-= Forum Pistolero =-
USA
5155 Posts |
Posted - 08/27/2007 : 10:32:39
|
Glad to see you back Rita, although i wish it were under happier circumstances. Hang in there.
On a happier note, Saturday/Sunday was my bachelor party. Thus officially starts the countdown to the wedding at 33 days. Who wants to give me real advice, not "its a partnership," "compromise," and "take time for yourself" which everyone on earth says?
- Brian |
|
|
|
kathryn
~ Selkie Bride ~
Belgium
15320 Posts |
Posted - 08/27/2007 : 10:48:20
|
quote:
Originally posted by Broken Face
Who wants to give me real advice, not "its a partnership," "compromise," and "take time for yourself" which everyone on earth says?
Be honest with yourself and your partner about who you are and what makes you happy. Watch that blurred line between accommodating and pretending.
Now tell us about the bachelor party.
I got some heaven in my head
|
Edited by - kathryn on 08/27/2007 10:49:15 |
|
|
|
floop
= Wannabe Volunteer =
Mexico
15297 Posts |
Posted - 08/27/2007 : 10:52:16
|
the only new thing i could add to that is: the main thing you need to remember is that marriage is a partnership. oh wait. they said that
"I am a troll.. and a fag." -LBF |
|
|
|
darwin
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
USA
5454 Posts |
Posted - 08/27/2007 : 10:57:26
|
| Hide your porn well. Under your shirts in the drawers isn't good enough (does anyone own magazines anymore?) |
|
|
|
Broken Face
-= Forum Pistolero =-
USA
5155 Posts |
Posted - 08/27/2007 : 11:22:14
|
quote:
Originally posted by kathryn
Now tell us about the bachelor party.
Around noon on Saturday, i was on my computer checking email, and when i turned my head to the right, two guys in all black wearing white hoods (replete with moustaches and eyebrows glued on) come into the room, throw a black hood over my head and lead me into a car.
Once in the car, they buckle me in and start playing me a recording they made, saying that i would be back Sunday around mid-day, and that unless i really had to use the bathroom to sit back, relax, and we'd be where we were going in around an hour. They then proceeded to play the worst mix of music known to man, just to irritate me (the Eagles, Will Smith, Neil Diamond).
Less than an hour later, i'm pulled from the car and the hood ripped from my head. We're at Shea Stadium for a Mets game. My brother, dad, cousin, 6 friends, and soon to be father and brothers in law all came too. It was a good game (the Mets won) and we had a great time.
After the game, i was re-hooded, and about an hour later pulled from the car and de-hooded at a campsite near Bear Mountain, NY for a night of camping with 5 friends and my brother. In our cabin was a full-sized fridge full of beer, which was disposed of before the night was over.
The next AM we got breakfast and i went home and napped. It was awesome.
- Brian |
|
|
|
kathryn
~ Selkie Bride ~
Belgium
15320 Posts |
Posted - 08/27/2007 : 11:29:55
|
Wicked excellent! Thanks for sharing.
I got some heaven in my head
|
|
|
|
Carl
- A 'Fifth' Catholic -
Ireland
11546 Posts |
Posted - 08/27/2007 : 11:56:10
|
Wow!
"I hate how the reptile dreams it's a mammal. Scaley monster: be what you are!!" - Erebus. |
|
|
|
floop
= Wannabe Volunteer =
Mexico
15297 Posts |
Posted - 08/27/2007 : 11:57:57
|
sounds like a fun time, despite the lack of the requisite being-tied-up-and-whipped-by-strippers ritual
"I am a troll.. and a fag." -LBF |
|
|
|
PixieSteve
> Teenager of the Year <
Poland
4698 Posts |
Posted - 08/27/2007 : 12:02:21
|
thank god your family and friends turned up. who knows what those kidnappers could have done to you.
"Idiot" is just her sig. |
|
|
|
Erebus
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1834 Posts |
Posted - 08/27/2007 : 14:13:15
|
quote:
Originally posted by darwin
Hide your porn well. Under your shirts in the drawers isn't good enough (does anyone own magazines anymore?)
I still have a couple boxes of ancient (70s & 80s) porn magazines. Last week I visited a porn shop to see whether they'd buy them but they weren't interested. My, how porn shops have changed: lots of DVDs, very few VHSs, and a tiny magazine rack. Gotta think the net is killing them. They did have one of those greasy little theaters and it did seem like there were a few customers in there.
Good deal on the party Brian.
"Marriage is a long conversation." - Nietzsche
|
Edited by - Erebus on 08/27/2007 14:18:05 |
|
|
|
floop
= Wannabe Volunteer =
Mexico
15297 Posts |
Posted - 08/27/2007 : 14:38:06
|
quote:
Originally posted by Erebus
quote:
Originally posted by darwin
Hide your porn well. Under your shirts in the drawers isn't good enough (does anyone own magazines anymore?)
I still have a couple boxes of ancient (70s & 80s) porn magazines.
you got any Oui's?
"I am a troll.. and a fag." -LBF |
|
|
|
Daisy Girl
~ Abstract Brain ~
Belize
5305 Posts |
Posted - 08/27/2007 : 19:30:24
|
As far as advice goes,
(1)I would say if you are or become freaked out, that it's normal.
(2) If you haven't done so already, talk about finances and the decision whether to merge (or not merge) your finances as you feel fit. Money was the only thing that we didn't talk about before getting married and I wish we would have. I was a little freaked out by the whole financial aspect and that merging finances was the most stressfull for me because I had been independant for so long.
(3) Don't forget what made your relationship special in the first place and keep doing things that both of you enjoy together even though it might be financally hard the first year. So, if you guys like seeing concerts together or going to Mets games together or what ever you guys like... set aside a budget that makes room for these things so you can have a break every once in a while.
(4) This is probably the most important and hardest for me to say is really listen if you're the talker in the relationship and really try hard to speak up about your feelings if you are the quieter one in the relationship. That's the hardest thing about being married and finding that ballance is a huge challenge.
(5) Do stuff that sets aside "me" time for you. For me it's going to yoga 2xs a week. My husband plays poker or takes music lessions during those same times and I would say that it's really helped our relationship out...
(6) Listen to your gut...
Good luck, I am sure you will do great. You're such a great guy and I am sure your wife to be as just as special as you are.
My last piece of advice on your special day know it will go by very fast. What I am glad we did is have two very low key days before the wedding that was just us time. (You know, getting the marriage certificate and running those last minute errands.) When your day comes, have some time planned in there where it can be just the two of you. (Even if it is just for a minute or two at a time). Then, as often as you can, take a deep breath and intentionally take everything in and take a little mental picture. Those little memories are way better than any photos or wedding videos. :)
(can you tell I'm the talker :)??? )
bluefinger |
Edited by - Daisy Girl on 08/27/2007 19:44:00 |
|
|
|
coastline
> Teenager of the Year <
USA
3111 Posts |
Posted - 08/28/2007 : 04:45:22
|
quote:
Originally posted by Daisy Girl
(6) Listen to your gut...
... which I guarantee will get bigger. Definitely one of the hazards of married life.
 Please pardon me, for these my wrongs. |
|
|
|
Carl
- A 'Fifth' Catholic -
Ireland
11546 Posts |
Posted - 08/28/2007 : 11:58:48
|
I'm listening to my gut: "Gurgle, Gurgle."
Er, okay! ;)
"I hate how the reptile dreams it's a mammal. Scaley monster: be what you are!!" - Erebus. |
|
|
|
Erebus
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1834 Posts |
Posted - 08/28/2007 : 15:49:54
|
quote:
Originally posted by floop
quote:
Originally posted by Erebus
quote:
Originally posted by darwin
Hide your porn well. Under your shirts in the drawers isn't good enough (does anyone own magazines anymore?)
I still have a couple boxes of ancient (70s & 80s) porn magazines.
you got any Oui's?
Oui. You in the market?
|
|
|
|
Joey Joe Jo Jr. Chabadoo
* Dog in the Sand *
1079 Posts |
Posted - 08/29/2007 : 03:25:30
|
Marriage and breeding are the grounds of society.
It'a an engagement toward God and your Nation.
It's the natural and spiritual aim of any heterosexual relationships.
++++ |
|
|
|
cassandra is
> Teenager of the Year <
France
4233 Posts |
|
|
PixieSteve
> Teenager of the Year <
Poland
4698 Posts |
|
|
cassandra is
> Teenager of the Year <
France
4233 Posts |
|
|
Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 08/29/2007 : 14:30:52
|
If I was with a French woman, I'd just be happy enough with that.
Hey Rita! I forgot to say, I hope you stick around now if you can.
 I'd walk her everyday, into a shady place
|
Edited by - Homers_pet_monkey on 08/29/2007 14:33:51 |
|
|
|
The King Of Karaoke
> Teenager of the Year <
USA
3759 Posts |
|
|
coastline
> Teenager of the Year <
USA
3111 Posts |
Posted - 08/29/2007 : 15:36:10
|
How so, KOK?
Please pardon me, for these my wrongs. |
|
|
|
The King Of Karaoke
> Teenager of the Year <
USA
3759 Posts |
Posted - 08/29/2007 : 16:00:34
|
Well, I guess I'm just repeating what some unhappy married men have said to me. I am forty and unmarried. I've had a few oportunities but never really felt the other person was truly the right person for me. Not only did my parents have a horrible (brief) marriage - and my mothers life was ruined after it - I have always kind of observed married people to see if they were really happy. I recently heard 60% of Americans now get divorced. How many of the remaining 40% are happily married? For years I've observed married people when they are out together in public. It many times seems that the parents will be involved with the kids but be ignoring each other. I've also many times asked guys if they were happy being married and 90% of the time they say "I love my kids." I remember being 18 and showing up to a construction job once and this really nice guy I used ot work with was sitting in the car with his four hundred pound wife. She was going off and he was sitting with his head down. It was real cold so when she left he came and sat in my car and after a couple of minutes just said "If you're ever going with a girl and get in even one fight with her don't marry her." I know that's a bit extreme but I've never forgotten how miserable that guy was.
"Loaded deck" Men tend to lose much more than the woman when couples get divorced. Maybe it's changing a bit but I know quite a few guys that have had their lives ruined. Homes gone, kids gone, paycheck attached. Maybe they were jerks and deserved it. I know a few of them, but many weren't. It just seems to me that I've seen so many people get married just because it's the next step in life at the time. I've sat there and watched how couples act around each other and they're not even be acting like themselves. I'd watch them get married after only going out for a couple of years and they didn't even really know each other. You'd go out with the guy every three months and they'd want to meet girls or go to a strip join or whatever.
Another thing is these damn batchelor parties were they'd have sex with these nasty ass strippers. I've only been to one (when I was young) for this guy from work. Why are you even getting married? I could never do that.
------------------
Network - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MTN3s2iVKKI
Orwell 1984 - http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5464625623984168940 |
Edited by - The King Of Karaoke on 08/29/2007 16:02:07 |
|
|
|
Brackish
- FB Fan -
142 Posts |
Posted - 08/29/2007 : 16:01:56
|
Well, I got married less than 3 months ago. Strangely enough, it doesn't feel any different to me. I guess I always felt we were committed long term or else I wouldn't have moved in with her for 5 years in the first place. The hardest thing so far for me is referring to her as "my wife." It still sounds weird. "My wife has an inner ear infection...."
I don't think I've been married long enough to give marriage specific advice, but this probably goes for relationships in general. My advice would be to make sure you and your partner have the same idea of where you're heading. So many people say "we grew apart." Identify where you and your partner want to be and work together to get there. I'm not saying you shouldn't have your own things too, but working on common goals together goes a long way towards building an Us rather than a Me and a You. Even just the process working/planning/saving for the wedding together was huge for us. I mean Us...Us being my girlfr...wife and me. |
|
|
|
The King Of Karaoke
> Teenager of the Year <
USA
3759 Posts |
Posted - 08/29/2007 : 16:06:16
|
I've always had this thing where if you can live together happily for five years you could probably have a very successfull marriage. the thing is marriage is so much more than love it's a business. You are buying homes raising kids meeting financial responsibilities etc. I've watched a few couples get married young then when they get into the thirties and their friends are doing better than them that creates problems. Competing with the Jone's
------------------
Network - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MTN3s2iVKKI
Orwell 1984 - http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5464625623984168940 |
Edited by - The King Of Karaoke on 08/29/2007 16:06:40 |
|
|
|
floop
= Wannabe Volunteer =
Mexico
15297 Posts |
Posted - 08/29/2007 : 16:13:11
|
quote:
Originally posted by Erebus
quote:
Originally posted by floop
quote:
Originally posted by Erebus
quote:
Originally posted by darwin
Hide your porn well. Under your shirts in the drawers isn't good enough (does anyone own magazines anymore?)
I still have a couple boxes of ancient (70s & 80s) porn magazines.
you got any Oui's?
Oui. You in the market?
i might have some splaining to do when that package arrived in the mail. otherwise...
yeah, i just have fond memories of breaking into my cousins stash back in the 80's of Oui magazines. porn is so much more classy when it has a french name
"I am a troll.. and a fag." -LBF |
|
|
|
kathryn
~ Selkie Bride ~
Belgium
15320 Posts |
Posted - 08/29/2007 : 16:16:15
|
Congrats, Brackish.
quote:
Originally posted by The King Of Karaoke
For years I've observed married people when they are out together in public.
I do this all the time. Body language betrays so much -- a lack of respect, an absence of wanting to be together. It breaks my heart to see couples cross the street apart...you'd never do that if you were out with a friend, with someone you wanted to be with, you'd cross together. That said I have friends who've been married for years and years who always walk with their wives/husbands, and I know that they have sexual, respectful marriages. So it says something when people are together but not "together."
quote:
It many times seems that the parents will be involved with the kids but be ignoring each other. I've also many times asked guys if they were happy being married and 90% of the time they say "I love my kids."
That is the 1 reason I divorced -- to escape that.
That is also something I've heard way too many times from married men who have long-term affairs.
quote:
Men tend to lose much more than the woman when couples get divorced. Maybe it's changing a bit but I know quite a few guys that have had their lives ruined.
Here is where we disagree, KOK. Don't make me start the Divorce = Fiscal Decimation for the Woman thread.
I got some heaven in my head
|
|
|
|
floop
= Wannabe Volunteer =
Mexico
15297 Posts |
Posted - 08/29/2007 : 16:21:49
|
quote:
Originally posted by The King Of Karaoke
Well, I guess I'm just repeating what some unhappy married men have said to me. I am forty and unmarried. I've had a few oportunities but never really felt the other person was truly the right person for me. Not only did my parents have a horrible (brief) marriage - and my mothers life was ruined after it - I have always kind of observed married people to see if they were really happy. I recently heard 60% of Americans now get divorced. How many of the remaining 40% are happily married? For years I've observed married people when they are out together in public. It many times seems that the parents will be involved with the kids but be ignoring each other. I've also many times asked guys if they were happy being married and 90% of the time they say "I love my kids." I remember being 18 and showing up to a construction job once and this really nice guy I used ot work with was sitting in the car with his four hundred pound wife. She was going off and he was sitting with his head down. It was real cold so when she left he came and sat in my car and after a couple of minutes just said "If you're ever going with a girl and get in even one fight with her don't marry her." I know that's a bit extreme but I've never forgotten how miserable that guy was.
"Loaded deck" Men tend to lose much more than the woman when couples get divorced. Maybe it's changing a bit but I know quite a few guys that have had their lives ruined. Homes gone, kids gone, paycheck attached. Maybe they were jerks and deserved it. I know a few of them, but many weren't. It just seems to me that I've seen so many people get married just because it's the next step in life at the time. I've sat there and watched how couples act around each other and they're not even be acting like themselves. I'd watch them get married after only going out for a couple of years and they didn't even really know each other. You'd go out with the guy every three months and they'd want to meet girls or go to a strip join or whatever.
Another thing is these damn batchelor parties were they'd have sex with these nasty ass strippers. I've only been to one (when I was young) for this guy from work. Why are you even getting married? I could never do that.
------------------
Network - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MTN3s2iVKKI
Orwell 1984 - http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5464625623984168940
i kind of feel the same way as KOK, though maybe not to the same degree.
i'll just put it this way: when i look at my married friends (especially married friends who have kids), i don't feel jealous or wish i had what they had. the conventional view if you don't get married is that you're afraid of commitment or immature, but i think a lot of people get married because they're afraid of being alone, or afraid of not doing "the normal thing".. especially women.
they jump into it way too young, and it ends up ending badly (and if you have kids, making it harder for them)..
when the time is right and i'm feeling it, i'll jump in there too. but i don't feel like my life is missing something without a marriage certificate
"I am a troll.. and a fag." -LBF |
Edited by - floop on 08/29/2007 16:27:25 |
|
|
|
The King Of Karaoke
> Teenager of the Year <
USA
3759 Posts |
Posted - 08/29/2007 : 16:25:44
|
I hear people say "aren't you afraid of being alone?" No. I've been a loner most of my life. I watch people ditch all their friends everytime they get in a relationship then three years later when that is over they are walking around by themselves complete mental cases.
My thing has always been, don't ever rely on other people to make you happy. You are going to come up very disappointed everytime.
How about the people that get divorced later in life? Aren't they afraid of being alone, broke and miserable?
------------------
Network - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MTN3s2iVKKI
Orwell 1984 - http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5464625623984168940 |
Edited by - The King Of Karaoke on 08/29/2007 16:27:02 |
|
|
|
Daisy Girl
~ Abstract Brain ~
Belize
5305 Posts |
Posted - 08/29/2007 : 16:35:40
|
my four year anniv. is tomorrow :)
bluefinger |
|
|
|
Topic |
|
marriage vs. not marrying
