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ramona
"FB Quote Mistress"
USA
3988 Posts |
 Posted - 09/02/2004 : 10:53:49
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This is all very amusing but what does it have to do with MEEEE? 
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 09/02/2004 : 11:05:27
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Hehehe, could be harder to explain why I am Homer's pet monkey!
It's up to you now Emily I'm afraid.
But if you want attention then I give a good massage.
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Live every day as if it were your last. Eventually you'll be right
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Edited by - Homers_pet_monkey on 09/02/2004 11:06:52 |
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ramona
"FB Quote Mistress"
USA
3988 Posts |
Posted - 09/02/2004 : 11:22:32
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It's up to me and that sucks. It always seems to be up to me. But I thank you all again for your helpful insights and I will report back with future developments.
Now back to your conversation about things not relating to me. 
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Never give up. You never know what will happen next. |
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 09/02/2004 : 11:32:43
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OK, well my name's Mike, I'm 27 and......well enough about me, let's talk about you.
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Live every day as if it were your last. Eventually you'll be right
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darwin
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
USA
5454 Posts |
Posted - 09/02/2004 : 12:00:03
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quote:
Originally posted by Cult_Of_Frank
Well said... I suppose I do agree with all that, except maybe the no more going out at night, which may or may not have been in jest.
It was only partially in jest.
"New" being exciting may be more of a guy thing. The basic theory for the evolutionary psychology of men and women (it may all be bullshit) is that men are trying to have sex with as many women as they can because they typically don't have pay as high a price in parental care, while women have to be more careful to ensure that they have enough resources and help to raise the kids. So, men may "see" any new woman as a new opportunity to make babies. |
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n/a
deleted
4894 Posts |
Posted - 09/02/2004 : 12:27:37
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Auntie Chub likes it when darwin gets all primitive
Can you take her away? I don't want her living with me anymore
Ramona, I think you need a length of good rope and a sound proofed cellar, stockholm syndrome will kick in soon enough
()
the room smelled like cupids gym
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 09/02/2004 : 12:33:27
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She doesn't need to build a raport with herself. What you on about Tre?
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Live every day as if it were your last. Eventually you'll be right
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n/a
deleted
4894 Posts |
Posted - 09/02/2004 : 12:34:53
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kidnapping
the room smelled like cupids gym
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ramona
"FB Quote Mistress"
USA
3988 Posts |
Posted - 09/02/2004 : 13:21:26
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I got it.
I don't think he needs to be kidnapped, he just needs to grow some balls.
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Never give up. You never know what will happen next. |
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 09/02/2004 : 13:22:46
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I thought you were suggesting she lock herself up. Thought that was a bit odd. As well as the rope and the cellar, she may also need the man. As you were.
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Live every day as if it were your last. Eventually you'll be right
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Carolynanna
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Canada
6556 Posts |
Posted - 09/02/2004 : 13:26:03
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Like my granny says, "all cock and no balls", hehe.
(She really is a classy lady, I swear.)
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"The things that will destroy us are: politics without principle; pleasure without conscience; wealth without work; knowledge without character; business without morality; science without humanity,
and worship without sacrifice." |
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 09/02/2004 : 14:50:59
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My grandma would never say anything like that. Not even in Polish!
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Live every day as if it were your last. Eventually you'll be right
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n/a
deleted
4894 Posts |
Posted - 09/02/2004 : 14:57:47
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Well if you change your mind I always keep a length of rope handy, I'll try googling for some ball-growing-serum
the room smelled like cupids gym
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VoVat
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
USA
9168 Posts |
Posted - 09/02/2004 : 19:29:39
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quote:
Yeah, SpudBoy = Mr. Apl/Apl = Mrs. SpudBoy.
So is "Eris" your maiden or married name?
As for new being exciting, I guess it can be, but I don't think excitement is necessarily the most important thing in a relationship. Being comfortable with someone can be a good thing. Of course, there's a fine line between comfort and being stuck in a rut, but still.
So, in answer to the question about leaving your current partner to be with someone more exciting, I'd definitely say no in most cases. There are exceptions, of course, but they're mostly along the lines of your current relationship not being very good.
And Emily, I really have no idea what to say about your problem, but I wish you good luck with whatever you decide to do.
Brick is red, and Hitler's dead. Hang me! |
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prozacrat
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1186 Posts |
Posted - 09/03/2004 : 01:17:09
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Ramona, it sucks that this situation happens to a lot of us, but at the same time it's nice to know that I'm not the only one in this kind of situation. The difference is that I'm in his position, not yours. I'll tell you my situation, as I feel I can relate to this stupid boy quite a bit. Maybe it'll shed some light on his angle. However, this story has a twist. And I apologize, cause it'll be long.
So there's this girl. She and I have had more ups and downs in such a short amount of time that I feel like I've been on a rollercoaster for three years. The key to all these problems: I am a stupid boy. Granted there are other factors involved, but when it comes down to it, I'm a stupid boy. I am a very confident person when it comes to most things (or was), but when it comes to females, I'm baffled by the concept that any girl would be attracted to me. As had been the case time and time again, I would dismiss any signs from a girl that she liked me. I would only be forced to confront them when a girl would wind up literally throwing herself on me, or having the necessary heart to heart talk. Or both. Usually this would be quite the ego booster for a guy, but I'm way too insecure and rationalize it as lapse in judgement on the girl's part. Such was usually the case, until the new girl came around.
We meet. Chemistry. Bang. Should I do something about it? Nah. I'll just shuffle my feet and say "gee, she doesn't REALLY like me." She gives up. One of my best friends asks her out. She accepts. They're together. I give my blessing, gladly. I love my best friend. Then they break up after a few months, because of the feelings she has for me. She tells me this. Though I have VERY strong feelings for her (I wouldn't say she's THE one, but the one I really, REALLY should be with, but I can't say), I do nothing because A: Respect for my friend, who just broke up with her, and B: I'm a stupid boy. Months pass. We both have romantic interests on the side, but it always comes back to each other. We're involved in theatre, and constantly get cast opposite each other. When the tension was the worst between us we were being cast in the likes of Damn Yankees (she was the Lola to my Devil) and Tartuffe (where I had to mount her on a table in front of sold out audiences). But I was always too scared to do anything about it. We were great friends. I didn't want to lose that. And at the same time, I didn't think she actually had these feelings for me. We fell in love before we ever got together, which we finally did. And it was the best thing that happened to me. It was great. I finally decided to stop being stupid and take a chance. It was the right choice. It was tough, but I'm glad I did it. We were together for two months, when I was offered a job to go on tour for a month. Bad timing. It's hard to go away for a month, two months into a relationship. At least it was for us. But I did it. And we got through it.
Here's where it got tough, though.
We had a lot of firsts in our relationship. Sadly, the biggest one was the first (and thankfully ONLY) time we got hit head on by an uninsured drunk driver driving the wrong way on the interstate. We were driving around 75mph, and we only know he was going faster. It happened on an overpass so we never saw it coming. Then we got t-boned by another car. We all should have been killed, as there was damn near nothing left of our car, but somehow we came out of it. So no matter what I say, I'm not complaining. I am so unbelievably grateful to be alive. Grateful that we're both alive, and that's what's most important. But here are the facts: She had both legs broken, along with her tailbone and pelvis. Broken ribs, collapsed lung, and tears in her spleen and liver. Other minor problems, of course. I was luckier, only getting broken ribs, contusions on my lung, and a broken collar bone. Listen carefully, to me kids. This is something I advise no couple to go through. She was stuck in the hospital for a couple of weeks and in a wheelchair for a month. The doctors predicted much longer than that, but she surprised everybody and began a very speedy recovery, for which I'm thankful. I, on the other hand, only had a broken collarbone to worry about, though as far as the news stations were concerned, I only had bumps and bruises. So here's my girlfriend, having news story after follow up news story covering her recovery for six months, which went great. Three months later you could never tell she had her legs overlapping themselves. I, on the other hand, went in the opposite direction. Everybody though I was fine afterwards. But my collarbone broke then slid in, overlapping itself inside of me. The doctors expected it to heal as is, and I'd be fine in six weeks. But it didn't. They told me to keep moving it, so I did, and it hurt. However, I played into the whole dynamic of the situation, thinking that it was HER accident, and I was fine. All my friends thought I was fine. They were just confused because I never hung out with them anymore. I was never mentioned in the trial of the man who hit us. Slowly, my muscles started going through atrophy and I was wasting away. My doctors were reluctant to do surgery and set the bone, since setting a collarbone creates many complications, as I would later find out. So as she's getting better and better, I'm getting worse and worse, finding myself in incredible pain just by sitting in an upright position, let alone moving. After five months of waiting to see if the bone would heal, my doctor said they were going to have to set the bone. I lost a lot of weight, muscle, energy, so naturally all my confidence, especially in my relationship with my girlfriend, who was excited to be out of a wheelchair and wanted to start living her life again. She was even crowned Miss Brookings (the college town in which we live). I went into surgery last April (13th, saw Pixies in Minneapolis, 14th in Winnipeg, surgery in South Dakota the morning of the 15th. Fun!) They found out my bone had healed zero percent in five months, and the jagged ends of the bone had been tearing up the insides of my shoulder the entire time. They set the bone and put in a plate and eight screws. I was immobalized for a while after that. By then, my lack of confidence in our relationship had dipped to practically zero. Even though she was constantly telling me she loved me and was there for me, I couldn't believe it. I am a stupid boy. Who would want a crippled guy who can't even put his arms around his girl? Even if it's temporary. I was pretty hard on myself. Again, I am a stupid boy. By May it had torn us apart. I knew I had to become the confident person I once was before we got together again. We both knew we would, as we're still in love with each other. But it was very slow. My body rejected the implant on my shoulder. I tore open and spent two months with a bandage covering exposed metal and bone. I have a fun picture if anybody's interested. Then it started spitting out the screws and I had to manually screw them back into the bone every morning when I cleaned it. The doctors tried to stitch it back shut, but because I had lost so much weight and the skin was stretched so thin the stitches always tore back open. Finally in June they removed the plate (which looks great as a key chain and will soon become a wammy bar on my guitar). Still, the atrophy persisted and I wasn't back to normal.
She would try to spend time with me and work on being friends, but I still had no concept of self value yet. I don't think she ever knew what kind of pain I was in all that time. She never saw my collar bone sticking out of my shoulder over those two months, though I could feel it all the time. I wish I could have listened to her and believed her, but I'm a stupid boy. I couldn't see the same things in me that she saw. All I could see was this flaw of mine. And it's still going on. The bone has healed a good bit, but still not enough for me to start moving it. It's been nearly ten months of this decline, and I still can't let myself get past my shortcomings, no matter how superficial they may be. I think there's something holding this guy back, Ramona. It may not be something as obvious as a shiny metal shoulder, but I think it's something. Something just as crippling. I had problems before that accident that she helped me get over, and I'll be grateful for it for the rest of my life. My girl tried to get me past them after the accident, too, but I was a stupid boy.
I do believe I'll get past it as my health progresses and find my "I can do anything" attitute I once had. We both know that we'll be together again. We just both have to be ready for it. But she had to push me. And I'm glad. That may be what your boy needs. Yeah, there's a ton of factors I'm not taking into account right now. But those are factors that others have shared with you already. I think there's something both of you know that's not being said.
There's my two cents. My best wishes, and keep us updated! |
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prozacrat
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1186 Posts |
Posted - 09/03/2004 : 01:30:56
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| Damn that was a long post. Sorry kids. |
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Cult_Of_Frank
= Black Noise Maker =
Canada
11687 Posts |
Posted - 09/03/2004 : 07:44:48
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Wow, prozacrat... I met you in Winnipeg the night before your surgery and my respect for you has increased tenfold. I had no idea about your accident, shoulder, or any of that, and am really sorry to hear about it but I'm glad that finally you're on the mends, physically and mentally. You covered it well, no wonder your friends had no idea... I respect that.
I think I have a similar attitude with the girls as you seemed to... which means the only girls I ever am able to see as interested in me tend to be a little on the 'aggressive' side (really over-the-top-even-Dean-can-understand-it-flirtation) which then means no interest from me at all. The rest, well, if they liked me, they'd show it or do something, and they never do, but I start to wonder if it's me that doesn't pick up on it, as I always hear these stories about this girl that likes me or that one and not only am I surprised every time, but usually so certain that she doesn't that I don't really even believe the person telling me and presume they're trying to flatter me. Maybe it is that. Maybe it's me. I don't know.
In any case, your story has me wondering again, so thanks for it and keep us updated, too.
 "Join the Cult of Frank 2.0 / And you'll be enlightened (free for 1.x members)" |
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apl4eris
~ Abstract Brain ~
USA
4800 Posts |
Posted - 09/03/2004 : 07:49:27
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| Oh my god, Dietr. I noticed you hadn't been around much in a long while. I wish you a very very speedy recovery. Your account has left me pretty speechless, but I have to say at least that you have my utmost respect and admiration, and best wishes for you and your relationship. It may not seem like it to you at all right now, but having been through a similar, but much less dramatic scenario with my husband, your understanding of the situation and your approach seem to already manifest that person you hope to be. Sorry for the "Deep Thoughts" wording, but I'm still kinda stunned. |
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ramona
"FB Quote Mistress"
USA
3988 Posts |
Posted - 09/03/2004 : 08:16:51
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Man, I'm sorry for all you have been through, Prozacrat. I send you many happy thoughts and GET BETTER vibes of love!
I appreciate everything you said especially the sweet end of your post. I really feel like I KNOW this boy loves me and that is what makes it hard and scary all at once.
Anyway, thanks again for sharing all of that. That is quite a journey you have been on!
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Never give up. You never know what will happen next. |
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prozacrat
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1186 Posts |
Posted - 09/03/2004 : 11:24:46
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Thanks for the kind thoughts folks. They're much appreciated. I know everything will turn out for the best in the end for me because I won't settle for anything less. I'm too damn stubborn. But back to the thread at hand, Ramona, I really hope my "heightened circumstances" can help you peer into the mind of your boy a little better. But the only way to really know what he's thinking is to talk to him about it. As much as neither of you want to do that, as scary as it may be, it helps. A lot. It may not solve anything right away, but that line of communication needs to be established before things can really be fixed. Not saying that spontaneous gestures of love of anything like that COULDN'T do it, but talking about it really makes some headway. I know this, both from my relationship with my girl, and...
...To make my post last night shorter than it could have been, I completely left out Girl #2. *the plot thickens* |
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 09/03/2004 : 11:57:44
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Prozacrat does not = a stupid boy. Don't believe for one moment that you are. I am not sure you realise how many other people would act the same way. I can't begin to imagine what all this must have done for your confiidence, and I am someone who doesn't have too much myself at times.
Hope things work out better for you in the future, I really do.
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Live every day as if it were your last. Eventually you'll be right
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ramona
"FB Quote Mistress"
USA
3988 Posts |
Posted - 09/03/2004 : 12:10:57
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Man. There is ALWAYS a "girl #2".
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Never give up. You never know what will happen next. |
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Cult_Of_Frank
= Black Noise Maker =
Canada
11687 Posts |
Posted - 09/03/2004 : 12:39:15
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Ha, no there's not. I don't even have a girl #1!
Do thicken the plot, I'm now thoroughly intrigued.
"Join the Cult of Frank 2.0 / And you'll be enlightened (free for 1.x members)" |
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ramona
"FB Quote Mistress"
USA
3988 Posts |
Posted - 09/03/2004 : 12:47:09
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Yes, I think we like our plot thick here. We want everyones dramatic story!
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Never give up. You never know what will happen next. |
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prozacrat
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1186 Posts |
Posted - 09/03/2004 : 14:48:01
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| I'm currently chatting at Girl #2 on MSN. It'd be nice to thicken the plot now, but I must take off to Fargo. And I'll be gone all weekend. But maybe I can find the internet up there and update y'all. |
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KimStanleyRobinson
* Dog in the Sand *
1972 Posts |
Posted - 09/03/2004 : 14:54:14
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quote:
Originally posted by Cult_Of_Frank
Ha, no there's not. I don't even have a girl #1!
Do thicken the plot, I'm now thoroughly intrigued.
"Join the Cult of Frank 2.0 / And you'll be enlightened (free for 1.x members)"
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prozacrat
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1186 Posts |
Posted - 09/03/2004 : 15:45:58
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Okay. I have to wait for my brother to bring me some software, so I'm still sitting here. And to briefly reply to other posts, CoF, you should have seen me the night before at the Pixies show in Minneapolis, squeezed in, shoulder to broken shoulder. Fortunately the excitement of seeing the Pixies at their first reunion show (and first show for me) kept the adrenaline rushing the whole night. And Homers, I'm not saying that I'm technically stupid, for all intents and purposes. I just suffer from the Stupid Boy Complex (S.B.C. I just made that up but will refer to it as though it's an actual term.). Although there are other elements that came into play after our accident, I have suffered from an acute case of S.B.C. for many many years. Which leads me to Girl #2.
So G#2 is a fantastic girl. Just like G#1. I find out earlier this summer that she had been chasing me long before G#1 and I ever got together. She of course stepped back when G#1 and I started dating, as the three of us were and are very good friends. After G#1 and I broke up last April, G#2 and I began hanging out more, with me completely oblivious to her feelings for me. G#1 and I were still working on getting our friendship in working order, and still are, before we planned on pursuing our relationship any further. Then one day this June G#2 writes me a letter explaining her feelings for me. I had absolutely no clue whatsoever. Evidently there were signs everywhere and everybody else saw it but me. See? There's my S.B.C. Then I immediately begin to dismiss it. I tell myself "she just doesn't know how fucked up I am right now. She doesn't know I have bone and metal sticking out of my shoulder." You know, the things I keep telling myself. Then only a couple of hours after I got her letter, I was backstage in a production I was in this summer when a friend of mine confronted me about it. "You've got to pick one of those girls, Dietr!" Etc. etc. All I could say was "What the fuck?!" It made no sense. Evidently everybody thought I knew about it and was playing both girls. Ultimate Dietr Disclaimer: I am not a player! So I wrote G#2 back, saying I didn't know what was going to happen between G#1 and I, or when it was going to happen. In the mean time, I felt bad because I didn't want to lead G#2 on, though the thought of a relationship with her was very tempting. To clarify, I don't think of HER as THE ONE. Rather, somebody I could have a fun relationship with. I'm young. I should be able to afford myself that luxury. While I'm in a relationship with somebody, my mind doesn't wander to other girls. But since I was single, I humored the idea of getting together with G#2. This made me feel guilty, though, since I knew that eventually I was going to be back with G#1. Again, I don't know when. And G#1 even told me that I should take G#2 out on a date sometime. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN!?? S.B.C.!!!!! How can I casually date amazing G#2 when we both know that someday I'll end up with G#1. "Don't mean to make you feel awkward, but you'll just be my interim girlfriend, if you don't mind." I wouldn't think of doing that to any girl, let alone this one. And she's aware of that situation. We would see each other every day and hang out. Have fun. The three of us work in the same theatre company, at least twelve hours a day, so we have to. But G#2 and I would ocassionally write each other these letters, thick with subtext, or plainly stating our feelings and situation. All this is compounded by the fact that I'm still suffering from the temporarily-crippled-and-scarred-who-would-want-me mind set. However, Ramona, just minutes before I found this thread last night, G#2 and I, for the first time, actually talked about us. We didn't get anywhere, but that line of communication was opened. So that was a big step in some direction. I don't know what's going to happen between us, or G#1. They're both amazing and I would never want to hurt either of them, which I have trouble contemplating me being capable of that. It's a very messy situation. I have a feeling that no matter what, I'll have missed out on something. But I know I'll make the right decision in the end, whenever I get over my shortcomings. But talking to her was an important thing. Vital. After I did I wanted to jump up and do a victory dance, but my shoulder's still too fragile, so that'd be a bad idea. I think you should do that too. Not the victory dance, but talk to him. After you do, then do the victory dance. Okay. I'm going to Fargo now. |
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ramona
"FB Quote Mistress"
USA
3988 Posts |
Posted - 09/03/2004 : 17:53:30
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Thanks, Dietr. That is a big story - I hope it works out for you. You are obviously an awesome person b/c two girls who you think are amazing think you are amazing right back.
As for me, I will talk to him. I know that the ball is in my court now, so I am kind of just trying to figure out the best way to do things. I haven't talked to him in three months (which was my decision) and so it seems weird to call him up now and be like "hey, I love you!" His birthday is in a month. I am wondering about doing "le grande gesture" sometime around then. But, what do I do? What would make YOU admit that you love the girl who also scares you to death? Everything feels very scary and FINAL now...
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I gave myself to Jesus, and now he never calls. |
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Broken Face
-= Forum Pistolero =-
USA
5155 Posts |
Posted - 09/04/2004 : 06:17:17
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the thing that made me finally realize that ms. broken face was the one for me was going on a series of bad dates/hookups that made me see how truly special she is. so emily, get all the skank hos and morons you know and set them up so he can see you're the diamond in the rough
-brian
- "I joined the Cult of Frank / And they tried to cut off my nuts and make me put on a blue jumpsuit"
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ramona
"FB Quote Mistress"
USA
3988 Posts |
Posted - 09/04/2004 : 08:25:56
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Ha! Good advice, Brian!
I am trying to think of skanks I know...
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I gave myself to Jesus, and now he never calls. |
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kathryn
~ Selkie Bride ~
Belgium
15320 Posts |
Posted - 09/04/2004 : 11:21:13
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Ramona, this is late into the thread but I hope you will consider it (despite my freaky email about the Catholics!).
OK, I don't know this guy and even if I did I wouldn't judge or bad-mouth him.
But, honey...
It's not supposed to be so hard or so painful. I've been with someone since 1987 and what they say is true -- a relationship's hard work -- but there is a lot of good stuff I get in return and he and I have fun together. What positive things has that boy brought to your life? If the fun you have with him outweighs the pain you feel because of him, stick it out. If not, move on (either emotionally or literally).
Gad, I hope I don't sound shallow...
People don't change, not fundamentally. What you see is what you get and I don't know that a conversation with him is going to change him and make him, as you say, brave and/or fun.
You're a swell girl. Your vibrancy and coolness shine thru your posts, Ramona. You don't deserve to feel sad and mopey.
I hope the above helps. Hang in there!
I still believe in the excellent joy of the Frank |
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ramona
"FB Quote Mistress"
USA
3988 Posts |
Posted - 09/04/2004 : 14:48:44
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Thanks, kathryn. I appreciate what you are saying and I know it is fundementally true. What he brings to my life is hard to explain here, and I think I am realizing that I push him away as much as he does me. I don't know what to say except, I feel it. That THING whatever it is, ya know?
I think you are very lucky to have been with the same person for so long - that's awesome. But sometimes it isn't EASY, sometimes, I believe, you have to work for things. Even something as simple and basic as love. I don't feel sad and mopey except for the fact that when I saw him last week it WAS sad b/c no one talked etc.
I don't know. Is hard, and unappealing, to go into detail more than I already have here. But I have tried to move on from this and GET OVER IT, but it's not happening. I need to do something else.
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I gave myself to Jesus, and now he never calls. |
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ramona
"FB Quote Mistress"
USA
3988 Posts |
Posted - 09/04/2004 : 14:51:45
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quote:
Originally posted by kathryn
People don't change, not fundamentally. What you see is what you get and I don't know that a conversation with him is going to change him and make him, as you say, brave and/or fun.
Don't know when I said that, but I think that he doesn't have any clue how I feel and I deserve to be able to say that. I don't expect it to be magic and I am honestly not feeling like the outcome will be positive, but I feel like I should be able to say it and get an answer. Even if that answer is "no".
And he may not be brave, but he's always fun.
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I gave myself to Jesus, and now he never calls. |
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kathryn
~ Selkie Bride ~
Belgium
15320 Posts |
Posted - 09/05/2004 : 06:25:17
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I thought about your "situation" a lot last night (in Burlington!), dear Ramona, and I wondered whether my response was correct or helpful. It was well-intentioned, that's for sure.
I know that you will find your way out of this confusion/difficulty and to some other state, be it with this boy or another or just you for a while.
I know what you mean about the futility of trying to make yourself GET OVER IT. If only we could control our emotions.
Keep hanging in there, you fabulous thing, you. It will somehow get easier.
I still believe in the excellent joy of the Frank |
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ramona
"FB Quote Mistress"
USA
3988 Posts |
Posted - 09/05/2004 : 08:20:26
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Thanks, kathryn. You are very sweet!
I keep going back and forth and I feel kinda sad again today. Realizing that in this state of suspension, I have a TEENY bit of hope - so it is hard to want to move past that and go have some face to face WHATEVER with him. He's going to be freaked out.
Just got an email from a good friend of mine who actually went to high school with this boy (in Nebraska) - it's like everywhere I turn there is a connection to him. I feel like I keep getting forced into his space and I don't get it. What's the point of that? What does it MEAN?
Anyway. Whatever. 
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I gave myself to Jesus, and now he never calls. |
Edited by - ramona on 09/05/2004 08:21:29 |
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stupid heart
