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Ebb Vicious
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1162 Posts |
 Posted - 07/13/2004 : 15:16:58
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inspired by homer's pet monkey's insipid plea for attention i've decided to bless you all with the gift of my genius. no i'm not a master of complex mathematics. my brilliance lies in cutting through all the bullshit right to the heart of the problem.
so tell me what's bothering you -- other than my presence on the boards, for all you dull witted ninnies -- and i will tell you exactly how to fix the problem.
believe me or not and follow my suggestions or not. but if you have a problem i know how to solve it. |
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 07/13/2004 : 15:18:19
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Oh my god it's Mad Dawg!
Ooh, you're not gonna last long now.
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Live every day as if it were your last. Eventually you'll be right
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Cheeseman1000
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Iceland
8201 Posts |
Posted - 07/13/2004 : 15:19:36
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Its like Monsieur in negative.
Kind regards,
Dr. Simon
Specialist In Broken Hearts |
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TheCroutonFuton
- Mr. Setlists -
USA
1728 Posts |
Posted - 07/13/2004 : 15:20:35
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I have Chronic Lyme Disease. How do I cure myself oh fucking great one?
....
Yeah.
"Freedom is a state of mind and the condition and position of your ass. Free your mind and your ass will follow." - Funkadelic |
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Ebb Vicious
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1162 Posts |
Posted - 07/13/2004 : 15:21:03
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quote:
Originally posted by Homers_pet_monkey
Oh my god it's Mad Dawg!
Ooh, you're not gonna last long now.
from this post i have determined that your problem is that you are an ignoramus. to solve this wholly you need to visit a library and read.
but as a partial solution i will offer this bit of information; whoever mad dawg was i can tell from his name that he was a moron.
next. |
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 07/13/2004 : 15:21:55
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Haha, nice try. The authorities already know it's you.
_________________________________________________________
Live every day as if it were your last. Eventually you'll be right
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n/a
deleted
4894 Posts |
Posted - 07/13/2004 : 15:22:05
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Oh wise Ebb.
When there are wounds that need prodding how do you suggest one should go about it? You seem like a master
Frank Black ate my Hamster
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Ebb Vicious
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1162 Posts |
Posted - 07/13/2004 : 15:22:05
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quote:
Originally posted by TheCroutonFuton
I have Chronic Lyme Disease. How do I cure myself oh fucking great one?
develop heroin and crack coccaine addictions. after a few months the problems caused by your lyme disease will seem distant and insignificant.
next. |
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Ebb Vicious
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1162 Posts |
Posted - 07/13/2004 : 15:24:57
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quote:
Originally posted by Tre
When there are wounds that need prodding how do you suggest one should go about it? You seem like a master
sadism is a sign that you are too weak to confront and deal with your own issues. however, if you must partake in such frivolous activities i am of the opinion that a red hot rusty nail coated in tequila works wonders.
ps - homer's pet lobster; dave noisy knows who i am and i am me and no one else.
next. |
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n/a
deleted
4894 Posts |
Posted - 07/13/2004 : 15:27:53
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so by your sadistic fucking around on the forum are you telling me that you are a sadistic exhobitionist with little in the way of a life so you derive your main pleasures from fucking with sincere and genuine people?
Or are you just answering that age old question of what you, sir ebb, have in common with the humble tampon?
Frank Black ate my Hamster
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Ebb Vicious
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1162 Posts |
Posted - 07/13/2004 : 15:29:27
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quote:
Originally posted by Tre
so by your sadistic fucking around on the forum are you telling me that you are a sadistic exhobitionist with little in the way of a life so you derive your main pleasures from fucking with sincere and genuine people?
Or are you just answering that age old question of what you, sir ebb, have in common with the humble tampon?
from this ramshackle excuse of a post i have determined that you are unable to understand the actions of others. the solution is to stop trying because you will never be good at it.
next. |
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n/a
deleted
4894 Posts |
Posted - 07/13/2004 : 15:32:14
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I'm trying ebb but all I can gleam from you at this moment in time that you like the humble oh so humble tampon are both stuck up cunts.
but at least the tampon has some use
Frank Black ate my Hamster
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Edited by - n/a on 07/13/2004 15:42:21 |
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TheCroutonFuton
- Mr. Setlists -
USA
1728 Posts |
Posted - 07/13/2004 : 15:33:58
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quote:
Originally posted by Tre
Ever considered suicide as a career option.... I really think it could work for you
Hmm..that was a bit of bad taste, I think.
"Freedom is a state of mind and the condition and position of your ass. Free your mind and your ass will follow." - Funkadelic |
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n/a
deleted
4894 Posts |
Posted - 07/13/2004 : 15:37:50
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think I said before crouton tre responds in kind, as soon as I find something even vaguely tastefull in ebb's actions I'll take me a break.
Frank Black ate my Hamster
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Ebb Vicious
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1162 Posts |
Posted - 07/13/2004 : 15:38:03
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quote:
Originally posted by Tre
I'm trying ebb but all I can gleam from you at this moment in time that you like the humble oh so humble tampon are both stuck up cunts.
but at least the tampon has some use
Ever considered suicide as a career option.... I really think it could work for you
it had evaded me previously but i have finally determined your real problem.
you are attempting comedy but you lack even the slightest ability. if you do not stop a black hole created of anti-funny will form at the location of your brain the next time you attempt to think of something witty. this will cause all the humour to be sucked out of the world.
the end result will be that we spend all day watching network television sitcoms and commenting on the taste of our own tongues.
next.
edit:
talking about one's self in the third person is a sign of immeasurable stupidity. |
Edited by - Ebb Vicious on 07/13/2004 15:43:40 |
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n/a
deleted
4894 Posts |
Posted - 07/13/2004 : 15:38:35
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If it bothers you I'll delete it though. Just say the word
Frank Black ate my Hamster
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n/a
deleted
4894 Posts |
Posted - 07/13/2004 : 15:46:12
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oh thanks ebb, I'll sleep soundly tonight knowing that your armchair anti-psychology is solving the worlds ills. In fact, just knowing there are some people like you working and walking this earth gives me faith that life could be worse, there could be more of you
*shudder*
Frank Black ate my Hamster
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KimStanleyRobinson
* Dog in the Sand *
1972 Posts |
Posted - 07/13/2004 : 15:47:45
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Oh wise and powerful ebb,
Why is it that the only time I truly feel alive is when I'm making someone else feel like shit? |
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Ebb Vicious
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1162 Posts |
Posted - 07/13/2004 : 15:48:55
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quote:
Originally posted by Tre
oh thanks ebb, I'll sleep soundly tonight knowing that your armchair anti-psychology is solving the worlds ills. In fact, just knowing there are some people like you working and walking this earth gives me faith that life could be worse, there could be more of you
*shudder*
i don't know if you went and took some classes or read a tutorial or something but whatever you think you did it didn't work.
you're still not funny. you have sucked the comedy from every corner of the globe with your idiocy.
good job. |
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 07/13/2004 : 15:50:30
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Tick tick tick, you hear that Ebb?
_________________________________________________________
Live every day as if it were your last. Eventually you'll be right
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n/a
deleted
4894 Posts |
Posted - 07/13/2004 : 15:50:44
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are we an idiocy expert ebb? can I learn more of the idiotic from your wise wise ways?
Frank Black ate my Hamster
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Ebb Vicious
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1162 Posts |
Posted - 07/13/2004 : 15:58:51
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quote:
Originally posted by Homers_pet_monkey
Tick tick tick, you hear that Ebb?
i have deduced that it is the sound of an egg timer which you set to ring when it's time for you to act like a baby on a public forum so strangers who don't konw you will feed you worthless compliments to make you feel better about being such a terrific waste of space.
next. |
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 07/13/2004 : 16:03:37
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Not quite.
_________________________________________________________
Live every day as if it were your last. Eventually you'll be right
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fudd
= Cult of Ray =
664 Posts |
Posted - 07/13/2004 : 16:14:01
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| Board addiction. And food gets stuck in my teeth. |
Edited by - fudd on 07/13/2004 16:15:28 |
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Ebb Vicious
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1162 Posts |
Posted - 07/13/2004 : 16:19:42
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quote:
Originally posted by fudd
Board addiction. And food gets stuck in my teeth.
for the first one i recommend the realization that you really don't know anyone online as they are only who they allow themselves to be, and nothing of them exists that is not consciously made available. it is no substitute for real human contact.
the solution to your second problem is to knock out all your teeth with a hammer. you may then have the problem of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth. for this i recommend blowing the top of your head away with a shotgun.
next. |
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fudd
= Cult of Ray =
664 Posts |
Posted - 07/13/2004 : 20:00:50
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Who said I thought I knew anyone or let a board substitute for human contact? It is simply entertainment, and a place to spew out shit to whoever will read it. But I don't think I need to tell you that.
Oh yeah, I have thinking about suicide quite a lot lately. What can I do about that? |
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Ebb Vicious
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1162 Posts |
Posted - 07/13/2004 : 20:25:15
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quote:
Originally posted by fudd
Who said I thought I knew anyone or let a board substitute for human contact? It is simply entertainment, and a place to spew out shit to whoever will read it. But I don't think I need to tell you that.
Oh yeah, I have thinking about suicide quite a lot lately. What can I do about that?
for the first one i don't think you'd be addicted if you truly felt that way.
for the second one just remember that there are a lot of people in this world who are even more stupid and worthless than you and yet it will never occurr to them. so why should you feel so bad? |
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The King Of Karaoke
> Teenager of the Year <
USA
3759 Posts |
Posted - 07/13/2004 : 21:44:44
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Ebb I didn't realise you were so hated. Personally, I like your straight forward style.
So here's my problem... I got a ass that's um?... Well... It's tchin' goddamit! Can you recommend a cream, or some ointment or somethin' for me? I was thinking of gettin' myself one of them goddam hot pokers, and cauterizing the son of a bitch.
It's just that I'm afraid it might hurt.
Thanks!
-------------------------------------
http://www.geocities.com/j_vaughn/bigfoot.html
Have you looked into the eye's of a RankStranger?
If you have you will never forget that moment!
http://www.informationclearinghouse.info/
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Ebb Vicious
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1162 Posts |
Posted - 07/13/2004 : 22:00:30
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quote:
Originally posted by The King Of Karaoke
Ebb I didn't realise you were so hated. Personally, I like your straight forward style.
So here's my problem... I got a ass that's um?... Well... It's tchin' goddamit! Can you recommend a cream, or some ointment or somethin' for me? I was thinking of gettin' myself one of them goddam hot pokers, and cauterizing the son of a bitch.
It's just that I'm afraid it might hurt.
Thanks!
most people have a terrible sense of humour i think.
that sounds like a pretty good plan. alternatively you could buy some toilet paper and learn to use it. this would have the benefit of not causing a fecal build up within your abdomen which would eventually lead to septic poisoning and death. |
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KimStanleyRobinson
* Dog in the Sand *
1972 Posts |
Posted - 07/14/2004 : 02:41:52
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quote:
Originally posted by KimStanleyRobinson
Oh wise and powerful ebb,
Why is it that the only time I truly feel alive is when I'm making someone else feel like shit?
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Monsieur
* Dog in the Sand *
France
1688 Posts |
Posted - 07/14/2004 : 04:12:03
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| I don't want to be rude to Ebb. All he needs is little love and attention. Here, give me a hug. Feel OK? |
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fudd
= Cult of Ray =
664 Posts |
Posted - 07/14/2004 : 04:41:49
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quote:
Originally posted by Little Black Francis
I feel 15 again
And yet you are able to exhibit the wit and maturity of a ten-year-old in your posts.
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pfeffa
= Cult of Ray =
Aruba
367 Posts |
Posted - 07/14/2004 : 06:20:05
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| I vote for fudd to take over the role of Miss Lonelyhearts in this thread. He seems wise and doesn't rile up LBF as much. No offense, Dave. |
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fudd
= Cult of Ray =
664 Posts |
Posted - 07/14/2004 : 06:56:25
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| Pfftt. |
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Ebb Vicious
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1162 Posts |
Posted - 07/14/2004 : 07:00:59
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quote:
Originally posted by KimStanleyRobinson
Oh wise and powerful ebb,
Why is it that the only time I truly feel alive is when I'm making someone else feel like shit?
sorry i missed this before.
please see my explanation of sadism above. i think that should give you an idea of why.
my suggestion is to try to do some nice things for people and see how that makes you feel. if you don't like it then go back to being mean. |
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Ebb Vicious
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1162 Posts |
Posted - 07/14/2004 : 07:01:37
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quote:
Originally posted by Little Black Francis
blah blah blah
wow you're a retard, congratulations. |
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you need my advice
