| Author |
 Topic  |
|
Opaque
= Cult of Ray =
USA
251 Posts |
 Posted - 07/01/2004 : 09:54:55
|
So I went against my better judgment and actually went to see Van Helsing. YAGH! What a travesty.
But it wasn't the worst. Oh no. Not by far. Some years back I went with a friend to see "Air Bud." Why? Cause we really didn't have much going on that day. And I kid you not here, the ticket seller refused to sell tickets to us. She looked at me and said, "I cannot in good conscience sell you tickets to see this movie." So we went home.
Some time later, being all the more curious at this point, I rented the movie when it came out on video. And well. I cannot in good conscience recommend this film to you now.  
"My primitive words match my primitive heart..." - Mercury Rev |
Edited by - Opaque on 07/01/2004 09:55:56 |
|
|
GypsyDeath
Zapped Profile
3575 Posts |
Posted - 07/01/2004 : 10:00:59
|
oh man, now IM gonna have to go rent it! damn you opaque! damn you! I ahte watching crap moives...but yet im so compelled towards them!
I bet you never thought your movie would turn out this way
You crossed the other way, youd hope i wouldnt see you, you say youre doing fine, but thats not what it looks like, your undercovers on...
|
 |
|
|
Cheeseman1000
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Iceland
8201 Posts |
Posted - 07/01/2004 : 10:15:24
|
I think a title contender has to be 'League of Extraordinary Gentlemen'. My housemate has somewhat dubious taste in films, but even he was appalled at the lameness of this film. Its so bad its funny.
Kind regards,
Simon
Admissions |
|
|
|
realmeanmotorscutor
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1764 Posts |
Posted - 07/01/2004 : 10:19:45
|
Man, I feel the same way Gypsy. My mom has one of the Air Bud's at her house . . . the basketball one I think. Is that the first one or the one you're talking about? Maybe I won't have to spend money on it! The League was terrible but still not as bad as The Hulk.
 |
|
|
|
offerw
* Dog in the Sand *
South Africa
1264 Posts |
Posted - 07/01/2004 : 10:20:46
|
Wild Orchid. Anyone ever saw this load of trash? It displayed Mickey Rourke's hopeless acting and shagging abilities. Abysmal.
Hey realmeanmotorscutor, seen Aimee Mann live yet?
wilhelm |
Edited by - offerw on 07/01/2004 10:22:42 |
|
|
|
Opaque
= Cult of Ray =
USA
251 Posts |
Posted - 07/01/2004 : 10:21:28
|
quote:
Originally posted by GypsyDeath
oh man, now IM gonna have to go rent it! damn you opaque! damn you! I ahte watching crap moives...but yet im so compelled towards them!
Yah... nothing quite like the bad movie syndrome *GRINNING* Good luck with all of that. Please let me know how it turns out for you. I would love to swap "Air Bud" horror stories.
And as for "League Of Extraordinary Gentleman," some of my buddies around here renamed it as "League Of Extraordinary Dialog." And as such, I have not seen it yet... but I may watch it now as penalty for mentioning the aforementioned dog movie.
"My primitive words match my primitive heart..." - Mercury Rev |
Edited by - Opaque on 07/01/2004 10:23:09 |
|
|
|
realmeanmotorscutor
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1764 Posts |
Posted - 07/01/2004 : 10:25:30
|
Actually offerw, I just saw her and I was going to make a thread about it just for you. I have a bit of a story but haven't had time yet. I'm actually off for work now and have to get right to bed sos I can get up and go again. I'll post just as soon as I can.
|
|
|
|
offerw
* Dog in the Sand *
South Africa
1264 Posts |
Posted - 07/01/2004 : 10:35:06
|
I'm looking forward to your report back!
I have to nominate Titanic as a realy crap film too.
wilhelm |
|
|
|
Cult_Of_Frank
= Black Noise Maker =
Canada
11687 Posts |
Posted - 07/01/2004 : 10:44:48
|
Titanic was crap, but watchable. The worst movie by far goes to The Avengers.
 "When 5000 posts you reach / Look as good you will not, hmmm?" |
|
|
|
The Holiday Son
= Quote Accumulator =
France
2008 Posts |
Posted - 07/01/2004 : 10:53:17
|
A few I remember:
Sliding Doors
Vanilla Sky (and Open your Eyes)
The General's daughter
Le pacte des loups (Brotherhood of the wolves)
A tale of two sisters
Joan of Arc (Luc Besson's)
Magnolia
The devil's advocate
City of angels (worst remake ever?)
Bowfinger
Nowhere
Romeo + Juliette
Sphere
Spider
...
I wouldn't suggest any of those to my worst enemy. |
|
|
|
offerw
* Dog in the Sand *
South Africa
1264 Posts |
Posted - 07/01/2004 : 11:02:41
|
Holiday Son, I've only seen Magnolia from your list and I liked it. Everyone else seem to hate it but I thought it was quite good.
wilhelm |
Edited by - offerw on 07/01/2004 11:03:08 |
|
|
|
TarTar
* Dog in the Sand *
1965 Posts |
Posted - 07/01/2004 : 11:49:14
|
As far as "so horrible that it's good" goes, Nail Gun Massacre is at the top of my list.
I thought Crime and Punishment in Suburbia was pretty awful.
Oh, Joyride. Not the more recent one, but the one from 1996 with Tobey Macguire and that kid who played the gay guy on My So-Called Life. That was pretty horrible. Hell, it even had Benicio Del Toro in it and he couldn't do anything to save it. Really bad.
Wait. An even worse film, one that made Joyride look good. Cherry Falls. It has Brittany Murphy and um... Jay Mohr. That's some fucking horrible crap! It makes all those other teen slasher films look passable. This one was just shite!
"You gotta watch the mota, Thurston. Yr fuckin memory just goes out the window." |
|
|
|
Malax
* Dog in the Sand *
United Kingdom
1340 Posts |
Posted - 07/01/2004 : 12:13:19
|
Sliding Doors - piss poor, agree
Vanilla Sky - not bad at all
The General's daughter - standard bosh
Magnolia - very good film just a tad long
Bowfinger - oh man!two words, eddie murphy
Romeo + Juliette - why remake it all fancy and leave the language the same? Shit
I've pointed this out before but space truckers is the worst film ever. Despite having stephen dorff and dennis hopper in it, its awful awful awful, poorly acted tosh.
Van Helsing isn't that bad? Its action from the off and just loads of huge set pieces (with some cringey crap in between)when I saw it I was in the mood to watch something that didn't involve my head. Boy did I get it.
I May've Joined The Cult Of Frank If I Knew What The Balls Was Going On.
*Adapted By Carolynanna* |
|
|
|
GypsyDeath
Zapped Profile
3575 Posts |
Posted - 07/01/2004 : 12:22:19
|
whats that film with the trucks come alive and start chasing people? is that space truckers?
hey, Magnolia is a beautiful film. I love it.
How about all of the Beatles films? I love them because they are so hurrendous, I find it so fascinating that they could make such crap but it still would be popular because of how famous they were. and the sound tracks..obviously...
Do you think hast when people realised the profit of merchandise? That people will buy any old crap thathas there idols on it?
I bet you never thought your movie would turn out this way
You crossed the other way, youd hope i wouldnt see you, you say youre doing fine, but thats not what it looks like, your undercovers on...
|
|
|
|
BLT
> Teenager of the Year <
South Sandwich Islands
4204 Posts |
Posted - 07/01/2004 : 12:28:58
|
Without a doubt: "Scent of a Woman".
What a fucking turd. The two leads consist of an emoting dislikable bitter blind guy and an indecisive dislikable wimp. After about 90 minutes I could take no more and left the theatre. |
|
|
|
Adam
= Cult of Ray =
USA
505 Posts |
Posted - 07/01/2004 : 12:32:18
|
How about Wrong Turn. It's terrible from the work go. It's a good thing I didn't go to a theatre to see it.
Free the Heel! |
|
|
|
ShakeyShake
* Dog in the Sand *
United Kingdom
1058 Posts |
Posted - 07/01/2004 : 13:01:58
|
Heh, Bad taste,it's hilariously bad.
"I joined the Cult of this guy / 'cause they took my other picture away |
|
|
|
ShakeyShake
* Dog in the Sand *
United Kingdom
1058 Posts |
Posted - 07/01/2004 : 13:04:14
|
Scrap that,inspired by the beach boys topic,I'm voting for "love actually".ughh
"I joined the Cult of this guy / 'cause they took my other picture away |
|
|
|
El Barto
= Song DB Master =
USA
4020 Posts |
Posted - 07/01/2004 : 13:11:58
|
Water World. What a piece of shit. That's the only movie I ever fell asleep to in the theatre. And I was a young obnoxious kid.
A.I. is another overrated film which I really really did not like. Way too fucking long. Way too fucking dull.
Boycott cults and t's |
|
|
|
Cheeseman1000
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Iceland
8201 Posts |
Posted - 07/01/2004 : 13:26:33
|
quote:
Originally posted by The Holiday Son
A few I remember:
Sliding Doors
Vanilla Sky (and Open your Eyes)
The General's daughter
Le pacte des loups (Brotherhood of the wolves)
A tale of two sisters
Joan of Arc (Luc Besson's)
Magnolia
The devil's advocate
City of angels (worst remake ever?)
Bowfinger
Nowhere
Romeo + Juliette
Sphere
Spider
...
I wouldn't suggest any of those to my worst enemy.
I didn't mind Sliding Doors or Devil's Advocate, and I love Romeo & Juliet for some inexplicable reason. I like the styling, I like John Leguizamo, I liiiike Claire Danes, I like the music. I like it, deal with it.
Not defensive at all there.
Kind regards,
Simon
Admissions |
|
|
|
darwin
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
USA
5454 Posts |
Posted - 07/01/2004 : 13:37:10
|
Time Rider. I saw this is in a theater for some forgotten reason. Why this is now on DVD, I don't know.
DESCRIPTION
Fred Ward stars in this early 1980s science fiction movie as Lyle Swann, a motorcross racer who, while traveling through Mexico on his bike, gets caught in a time warp and sent back to the 1870s. Unaware that anything has happened, Swann soon finds himself nearly out of gas and finds the nearest town. Though the locals express fear and confusion when he approaches them in his racing gear and asks where the nearest gas station is, he still doesn't realize that anything has happened. Unfortunately, he runs into a gang of criminals who not only rape and kill at will, but take him for a demon. |
|
|
|
Opaque
= Cult of Ray =
USA
251 Posts |
Posted - 07/01/2004 : 14:11:26
|
quote:
Originally posted by darwin
Time Rider. I saw this is in a theater for some forgotten reason. Why this is now on DVD, I don't know.
DESCRIPTION
Fred Ward stars in this early 1980s science fiction movie as Lyle Swann, a motorcross racer who, while traveling through Mexico on his bike, gets caught in a time warp and sent back to the 1870s. Unaware that anything has happened, Swann soon finds himself nearly out of gas and finds the nearest town. Though the locals express fear and confusion when he approaches them in his racing gear and asks where the nearest gas station is, he still doesn't realize that anything has happened. Unfortunately, he runs into a gang of criminals who not only rape and kill at will, but take him for a demon.
Oh yeah. Now that... Oooo! Oh! I'ma hafta watch me some "Time Rider." Mmmmm hmmm.
And a giant LOL @ Water World. Did anyone else happen to be the unsuspecting victim for "The Postman?" Talk about a bad day to be channel surfing and land on HBO.
"My primitive words match my primitive heart..." - Mercury Rev |
|
|
|
bumblebeeboy2
> Teenager of the Year <
United Kingdom
2638 Posts |
Posted - 07/01/2004 : 14:12:49
|
quote:
Originally posted by The Holiday Son
A few I remember:
Sliding Doors
Vanilla Sky (and Open your Eyes)
The General's daughter
Le pacte des loups (Brotherhood of the wolves)
A tale of two sisters
Joan of Arc (Luc Besson's)
Magnolia
The devil's advocate
City of angels (worst remake ever?)
Bowfinger
Nowhere
Romeo + Juliette
Sphere
Spider
...
I wouldn't suggest any of those to my worst enemy.
what?!?! vanilla sky and magnolia are ace. what've you got against tom cruise?!
And it's hard to be a human being, and it's harder as anything else, and I'm lonesome when you're around, and I'm never lonesome when I'm by myself, and I miss you when you're around. |
|
|
|
n/a
deleted
4894 Posts |
Posted - 07/01/2004 : 14:18:55
|
quote:
Originally posted by ShakeyShake
Heh, Bad taste,it's hilariously bad.
"I joined the Cult of this guy / 'cause they took my other picture away
WHAT!!!
WHAT THE FUCK!!!!
It;s the best film in the world EVER
"I'm a Derek, Dereks don't run"
Frank Black ate my Hamster
|
|
|
|
soundofataris
= Cult of Ray =
USA
715 Posts |
Posted - 07/01/2004 : 14:40:32
|
Bean. I walked out. Only time I ever have.
Oh, and Very Bad Things. Gee whiz that was bad.
warm....warmer.....disco! |
|
|
|
Bryan Shepherd
- FB Fan -
USA
126 Posts |
Posted - 07/01/2004 : 14:55:05
|
My favorite movie (watched over 200 times) is Death Wish 3. So incredibly bad in every way a movie could be bad. It's a sublime pleasure for anyone who enjoys bad movies. Out now on DVD! See www.jabootu.com/deathwish3.htm for a very good breakdown of the film.
 I'm the guy from wonderland...& you will never understand... |
|
|
|
Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 07/01/2004 : 15:05:16
|
I see Nail Gun Massacre has made a re-appearance!
I agree that both League Of...... and Van Helsing were poo. However, and I want this topic locking after I reveal the worst movie of all time, since there is NO competition.
Problem Child 2
__________________________________________________
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. |
|
|
|
n/a
deleted
4894 Posts |
Posted - 07/01/2004 : 15:10:41
|
hmmmmmm
It... IT....
it's bad for the scary scary clown and bad for the stupid end
Frank Black ate my Hamster
|
|
|
|
GypsyDeath
Zapped Profile
3575 Posts |
Posted - 07/01/2004 : 15:16:31
|
Oh man, I gotta get me some of these out! What are you doing to me!??! IM gonna end up watching all this shit cos of you guys! damn it!
Problem child - sounds a bit like you Mike
Just thought I'd throw that in there... |
|
|
|
Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 07/01/2004 : 15:21:36
|
I couldn't agree more Mel. I really couldn't. Maybe that's why I hated it so much, 'cos it reminded me too much of myself.
NO! It was 'cos it was SHIT!
__________________________________________________
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. |
|
|
|
TarTar
* Dog in the Sand *
1965 Posts |
Posted - 07/01/2004 : 15:26:31
|
Mel, the movie where trucks come alive is Maximum Overdrive, directed by Stephen King.
"You gotta watch the mota, Thurston. Yr fuckin memory just goes out the window." |
|
|
|
TarTar
* Dog in the Sand *
1965 Posts |
Posted - 07/01/2004 : 15:32:29
|
Bad Taste is supposed to be bad, or at least bad in the sense that it's just sort of insane and inane and doesn't have much direction, and the movie is aware of this, and the audience is, too, and that's the fun of it. It was entirely improvised, or at least they didn't have a script and just said, "Okay, let's do this next." I've never seen anything funnier than when the guy runs out of bullets and the zombie/alien/whatever is coming at him, so he just pretends to fire by making the sound of the gun with his mouth and the zombie/alien/whatever actually thinks it's been hit. Pure genius. The entire film is a riot.
"You gotta watch the mota, Thurston. Yr fuckin memory just goes out the window." |
|
|
|
Malax
* Dog in the Sand *
United Kingdom
1340 Posts |
Posted - 07/01/2004 : 16:00:10
|
No space truckers is about truckers....in space. Also waterworld is a great film, If I ever saw it cheap on dvd I'd buy it. I don't know what the big deal is.
I May've Joined The Cult Of Frank If I Knew What The Balls Was Going On.
*Adapted By Carolynanna* |
|
|
|
Opaque
= Cult of Ray =
USA
251 Posts |
Posted - 07/01/2004 : 16:42:51
|
Is now the time where I say, "Kangaroo Jack?"
"My primitive words match my primitive heart..." - Mercury Rev |
|
|
|
VoVat
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
USA
9168 Posts |
Posted - 07/01/2004 : 17:37:40
|
Someone on an IMDB message board or something once said that "Kangaroo Jack" sucked because the kangaroo only talked in a dream sequence. Yeah, I'm sure it would have been GREAT if it would have talked for real.
I never saw the movie, by the way. I have my dignity.
Cattle in Korea / They can really moo. |
|
|
|
pfeffa
= Cult of Ray =
Aruba
367 Posts |
Posted - 07/01/2004 : 17:48:35
|
What, what, what was the director of Magnolia thinking when all those people in all of the different scenes were mouthing the words to that song?
The soundtrack was pretty good though.
Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe? |
|
|
|
Topic |
|
The Worst Movie You Ever Did See
