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bumblebeeboy2
> Teenager of the Year <
United Kingdom
2638 Posts |
 Posted - 02/22/2004 : 07:15:48
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don't look at the penguin! look away from the penguin!!!
 = Homers_pet_monkey
haha! silly smiley, looks like someone put on some lipstick, but wasn't very good at putting it on...
"Join the Cult of Orange Cat / the more the better!"
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 02/22/2004 : 08:01:11
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Riiiiiiiiiiiiiight!!! So let's get this straight, I'm someone who puts on lipstick, but who isn't very good at putting it on!?!?!? Is that right???
You need to come up with some new insults Bummblebeeboy, that is very possibly the worst I have ever seen!!! 
Hansel and Gretel have formed a band, .....And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Breadcrumbs!!! |
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bumblebeeboy2
> Teenager of the Year <
United Kingdom
2638 Posts |
Posted - 02/22/2004 : 08:35:04
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quote:
Originally posted by Homers_pet_monkey
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiight!!! So let's get this straight, I'm someone who puts on lipstick, but who isn't very good at putting it on!?!?!? Is that right???
You need to come up with some new insults Bummblebeeboy, that is very possibly the worst I have ever seen!!!
Hansel and Gretel have formed a band, .....And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Breadcrumbs!!!
lol! i thought it was quite good actually, given what i have to work with... 
"Join the Cult of Orange Cat / the more the better!"
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 02/22/2004 : 10:14:22
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You'll never beat my legion of angry strawberries!!!
Hansel and Gretel have formed a band, .....And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Breadcrumbs!!! |
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bumblebeeboy2
> Teenager of the Year <
United Kingdom
2638 Posts |
Posted - 02/22/2004 : 10:24:09
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prepare to meet your match strawberries... it's the legion of slighty miffed kiwi fruits!
you'll never defeat us with our superior tactics, that side flanking unit will crush you without doubt!
"Join the Cult of Orange Cat / the more the better!"
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 02/22/2004 : 10:41:29
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You plonker Rodney!!! They are not Kiwis, they are just under-ripened strawberries!!!
Schtop!!! They are not ready for battle yet!!! 
Hansel and Gretel have formed a band, .....And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Breadcrumbs!!! |
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 02/22/2004 : 10:47:31
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This is a legion of Kiwis.
Smug bastards aint they? Well they have nothing to be smug about, for the angry strawberries have enlisted the help of the really upset blueberries, a team of crack blue-berret commandos, sent from The United Berry Union (see 666 topic) to help defeat the Citrus Command.
Hansel and Gretel have formed a band, .....And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Breadcrumbs!!! |
Edited by - Homers_pet_monkey on 02/22/2004 10:49:05 |
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Malax
* Dog in the Sand *
United Kingdom
1340 Posts |
Posted - 02/23/2004 : 06:34:27
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I go away for the weekend and the forum descends into evil things. What happened to the posts about fluffy toys and puppys. EH?
Another fact about penises, if you have low amounts of hormones (i think its hormones) you take longer to develop and generally your genitals are underdeveloped. If you have a very low sex drive chances are you will be smaller. Its good to be a serial wanker.
I May've Joined The Cult Of Frank If I Knew What The Balls Was Going On.
*Adapted By Carolynanna* |
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GypsyDeath
Zapped Profile
3575 Posts |
Posted - 02/23/2004 : 09:19:17
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Hahaha! thats so cool. And so true.
Boys go to Jupiter, Get more stupider,
Girls go to Mars, Become rock stars
Wanna fuck and fight in the basement? |
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 02/23/2004 : 10:46:57
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YEEEEEEEEESSSSS!!! Get in there!!! 
Hansel and Gretel have formed a band, .....And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Breadcrumbs!!! |
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Malax
* Dog in the Sand *
United Kingdom
1340 Posts |
Posted - 02/23/2004 : 14:26:12
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Im a fountain of penis knowledge. When I was younger I trawled through sites about it cos I felt bad, to be honest It made me feel better. In a way the internet is such a great thing, you talk to people about things you could never do in real life. On the other hand it falsifys stuff. Porn for example gives almost everyone a feeling of inadequecy. Craziness.
I May've Joined The Cult Of Frank If I Knew What The Balls Was Going On.
*Adapted By Carolynanna* |
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 02/23/2004 : 14:47:32
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Yeah but porn has taught me a lot over the years. I mean where the hell else are you gonna learn about sex??? I don't mean just the basics that you learn in the playground at school, I mean the good stuff, the stuff that brings the real "Oohs" and "Aahs"
Hansel and Gretel have formed a band, .....And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Breadcrumbs!!! |
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 02/23/2004 : 14:48:05
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Yeah but porn has taught me a lot over the years. I mean where the hell else are you gonna learn about sex??? I don't mean just the basics that you learn in the playground at school, I mean the good stuff, the stuff that brings the real "Oohs" and "Aahs"?
I know experience helps but so does porn for me!!!
Hansel and Gretel have formed a band, .....And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Breadcrumbs!!! |
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glacial906
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1738 Posts |
Posted - 02/23/2004 : 15:12:35
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Porn for me is just complete, selfish gratification. My wife doesn't like it, but she's not overly concerned about me having a little bit of it. (Little does she know the massive XXX library I've amassed! Heh heh heh...just kidding.) Porn seems to me to be the result of guys being dirty bastards, just stuff they'd like to see or do acted out on screen. It's kind of like vicarious wish-fufillment. You see women doing all these things that normally, they probably wouldn't want to do. (Although there are plenty of them out there that I'm sure enjoy taking an - ahem, mouthful - or taking it up the ass.) Nothing much in porn has really taught me anything beneficial about what to do during sex, most of that comes naturally and depending on your partner.
Moreso, what really gets women into "the mood" is what comes before. No, I'm not talking about JUST foreplay, although believe me that can be an important (and fun!) part of it. What I'm talking about is when women really feel connected to you, or safe in your arms, and sometimes it takes alot to get to this point. When you are in a steady, committed relationship, at times you both may get distracted and neglect these things, believe it or not. You talk to your mate, but you are not really communicating. For instance I've learned that my wife really likes to know what I'm thinking. Not in a possessive, controlling way, but she just wants to feel like I consider our problems to be mutual problems and wants to be able to help as I would want to be able to do if the situation were reversed. If I keep things from her, even trivial things like my shitty day at work, it really tears down these bridges, and without them a sex life will suffer. I know it sounds like the two things are kind of unconnected, but really they're not.
Maybe this is too deep a reply for a "largest penis on the forum thread," I don't know. |
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Malax
* Dog in the Sand *
United Kingdom
1340 Posts |
Posted - 02/23/2004 : 15:27:23
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Nah this topic needed an itelligent lift. I agree with pretty much everything you've said, granted I don't have a wife but it all makes sense. As for porn, Im glad I watched so much means Im not some boring ass dud in bed, I enjoy messing with the things I've seen some come off some don't. Couple this with an open mind and you can't go far wrong.
I May've Joined The Cult Of Frank If I Knew What The Balls Was Going On.
*Adapted By Carolynanna* |
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 02/23/2004 : 15:28:36
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No I completely understand what you are saying, but obviously that kind of 'electricity' that you speak of cannot be taught, it's just a natural feeling between two people. I am talking about literally knowing how to get a woman off that you have no such connection with, well not as deeply as your partner. I am talking about all the casual sex really, that you have before your relationships (well that's how it was for me, late starter in the relationship department), where you are still learning what the hell to do to please a woman.
I can honestly say that the first girl I had sex with (again a late starter at 19) got so much pleasure from the experience (without wishing to brag (honestly I am actually quite insecure) she told my friends she had never had anyone like me before in bed, and subsequently dumped her older boyfriend) because of the things I learnt from watching porn. I am not talking about nasty porn here, some porn is quite sensual (even Animal Farm has it's moment - kidding) and it tought me a lot, especially about foreplay and giving oral sex, which is now my favourite part of sex!!!
I dunno, basically I am trying to put the case forward for porn, 'cos I personally found some of it to be very useful and educational. I know that some of it nowadays is a bit nasty, and a lot of it has always just been plain unrealistsic in most real life situation, but there is definately something to be gained for the kids out there. So lets get it put on the National caricullum (how the hell do you spell that word, I couldn't even find it in the dictionary) as soon as possible (again, I'm kidding!!!)
Hansel and Gretel have formed a band, .....And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Breadcrumbs!!! |
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 02/23/2004 : 15:29:59
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How the hell did I get from angry strawberries to this?!?!?! 
Hansel and Gretel have formed a band, .....And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Breadcrumbs!!! |
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bumblebeeboy2
> Teenager of the Year <
United Kingdom
2638 Posts |
Posted - 02/23/2004 : 17:19:39
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quote:
Originally posted by Homers_pet_monkey
This is a legion of Kiwis.
Smug bastards aint they? Well they have nothing to be smug about, for the angry strawberries have enlisted the help of the really upset blueberries, a team of crack blue-berret commandos, sent from The United Berry Union (see 666 topic) to help defeat the Citrus Command.
Hansel and Gretel have formed a band, .....And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Breadcrumbs!!!
you bastard! you've sunk my battleship!
"Join the Cult of Orange Cat / the more the better!"
The Shrine of the Sea Monkey!
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glacial906
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1738 Posts |
Posted - 02/23/2004 : 19:26:54
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| I would say that porn might teach you some good techniques (again, like Homer's Pet Monkey says, not really nasty porn, most girls don't like that kind of shit) but I have found that without all the stuff I mentioned it just doesn't work. |
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 02/24/2004 : 10:51:23
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quote:
Originally posted by glacial906
I would say that porn might teach you some good techniques (again, like Homer's Pet Monkey says, not really nasty porn, most girls don't like that kind of shit) but I have found that without all the stuff I mentioned it just doesn't work.
Yeah combine the two and you've got heaven!!!
Hansel and Gretel have formed a band, .....And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Breadcrumbs!!! |
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 02/24/2004 : 10:52:55
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quote:
Originally posted by bumblebeeboy2
quote:
Originally posted by Homers_pet_monkey
This is a legion of Kiwis.
Smug bastards aint they? Well they have nothing to be smug about, for the angry strawberries have enlisted the help of the really upset blueberries, a team of crack blue-berret commandos, sent from The United Berry Union (see 666 topic) to help defeat the Citrus Command.
Hansel and Gretel have formed a band, .....And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Breadcrumbs!!!
you bastard! you've sunk my battleship!
"Join the Cult of Orange Cat / the more the better!"
The Shrine of the Sea Monkey!
Hehehe!!! Don't you mean your Battlepunnet???
Hansel and Gretel have formed a band, .....And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Breadcrumbs!!! |
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GypsyDeath
Zapped Profile
3575 Posts |
Posted - 02/26/2004 : 07:58:35
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Some good points Glacial. Very good points, but youre not going to have that connection with evey person you have sex with...granted, its ten times better when you get the whole package...
But yeah, I agree, that porn teaches so much more than sex ed at school ever could. lol, wouldnt it be fun if they started doing like 'how to please a woman' in schools. haha. But obviously nothing could possibly be better than the experience its self to teach a guy what to do. the problem is some girls dont give the poor bloke any idea if they like what they are doing or not, and thus leashing the poor tactics upoon another unsuspecting female.
Obviously same goes male - female...
Boys go to Jupiter, Get more stupider,
Girls go to Mars, Become rock stars
Wanna fuck and fight in the basement? |
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IceCream
= Quote Accumulator =
USA
1850 Posts |
Posted - 04/24/2004 : 13:59:18
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quote:
Originally posted by El Barto
Yes, would you like a cocksicle?
 "Join the Cult of Brit / And let your oral hygiene go out the window."
Is it true that most things contract under cold temperatures? |
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El Barto
= Song DB Master =
USA
4020 Posts |
Posted - 04/24/2004 : 18:14:30
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It took you 2 months to come up with that one dude...LONGEST DELAY EVER.
Boycott cults |
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glacial906
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1738 Posts |
Posted - 04/24/2004 : 21:31:54
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quote:
Originally posted by GypsyDeath
Some good points Glacial. Very good points, but youre not going to have that connection with evey person you have sex with...granted, its ten times better when you get the whole package...
But yeah, I agree, that porn teaches so much more than sex ed at school ever could. lol, wouldnt it be fun if they started doing like 'how to please a woman' in schools. haha. But obviously nothing could possibly be better than the experience its self to teach a guy what to do. the problem is some girls dont give the poor bloke any idea if they like what they are doing or not, and thus leashing the poor tactics upoon another unsuspecting female.
Obviously same goes male - female...
Boys go to Jupiter, Get more stupider,
Girls go to Mars, Become rock stars
Wanna fuck and fight in the basement?
Yeah, it's not like that all the time. I haven't had sex with any other women in a long time, but before I got married I would have the occasional tryst (and I do mean "occasional") with some girls who wanted nothing more than to fuck. It was great! I guess it just appeals to the pig-brained, one-track guy mind to have a girl that in a way, thinks the same way many guys do about sex. (Namely, wants it all the time, no commitment, etc. etc.) But, then you find someone eventually and all that other shit I said a couple months ago rings true. |
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realmeanmotorscutor
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1764 Posts |
Posted - 04/24/2004 : 22:43:09
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But porn can become a serious addiction and it has ruined a lot of lives. I spose if you have a strong will . . . but many people have thought that they were strong and have been overtaken.
 "I joined the Cult of Popeye / The CoF required my good eye" |
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IceCream
= Quote Accumulator =
USA
1850 Posts |
Posted - 04/24/2004 : 23:01:04
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quote:
Originally posted by El Barto
It took you 2 months to come up with that one dude...LONGEST DELAY EVER.
Boycott cults
Not tyring to insult you. I kind of liked this thread; I wanted to bring it back to the first page. You see, what I don't understand is why water doesn't contract when it's frozen, and since the human body is composed of a lot of water, the whole contracting principle is often skewed - so I ask for the sake of generating a thought-provoking conversation regarding science. That or I wanted to add a post to my post count.
It's kind of funny that this thread was so close to getting archived, as before I posted in it on 4/24/04, it was the very first (non-sticky) thread that popped up when arranging all the general topics in order of last post date in ascending order...
I wish I were smarter. |
Edited by - IceCream on 04/24/2004 23:04:23 |
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 04/25/2004 : 03:07:22
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quote:
Originally posted by realmeanmotorscutor
But porn can become a serious addiction and it has ruined a lot of lives. I spose if you have a strong will . . . but many people have thought that they were strong and have been overtaken.
"I joined the Cult of Popeye / The CoF required my good eye"
In what ways???
I was thinking of resurrecting this topic yesterday. I decided against it in the end.
Hansel and Gretel have formed a band, .....And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Breadcrumbs!!! |
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ShakeyShake
* Dog in the Sand *
United Kingdom
1058 Posts |
Posted - 04/25/2004 : 04:47:44
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I've never heard of porn ruining anyones life
"I joined the Cult of this guy / 'cause they took my other picture away |
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GypsyDeath
Zapped Profile
3575 Posts |
Posted - 04/25/2004 : 12:21:51
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Nor me, but I can see scutors point, I can see how it could - to people with very addictive personalities, and then the real thing never happens like it does on the videos (erm, theres a lot of editing in those guys...sorry to break any illusions there..)...I can see how that can make quite a damaging impact to someones life..
However, I feel there would have to be a lot of underlying issues within a person who lets porn do this to their life, do you not think? Or any addiction for that matter - theres always 'baggage'
I love you for what I am not,
I did not ask for what I have got.
You will get used to me.
Welcome to your new joy. |
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bumblebeeboy2
> Teenager of the Year <
United Kingdom
2638 Posts |
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 04/25/2004 : 12:37:17
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I must admit that I have to have really passionate sex nowadays. It has to be very full on or I lose interest very quickly. I don't know if this is a direct result of me watching porn now and again () but it could be. I guess it's also not that unusual. I don't mind though 'cos that's the way sex should be. If it's not then you are just going through the motions. Just having sex for the sake of it is pointless.
Give me full on, up against the wall fucking any day!!!
Hansel and Gretel have formed a band, .....And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Breadcrumbs!!! |
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bumblebeeboy2
> Teenager of the Year <
United Kingdom
2638 Posts |
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 04/25/2004 : 12:46:50
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Hahaha!!! I KNEW you were gonna say that Simon.
Damn I know you so well already!!!
Hansel and Gretel have formed a band, .....And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Breadcrumbs!!! |
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bumblebeeboy2
> Teenager of the Year <
United Kingdom
2638 Posts |
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Largest Penis on forum
