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floop
= Wannabe Volunteer =
Mexico
15297 Posts |
 Posted - 02/24/2005 : 20:27:14
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i know there have been other topics about this but today i reached a new low in road rage. i'm usually pretty zen about nimrod drivers, because i have to deal with it all the time here. i forgive and foreget. it's no use getting too worked up. life it too short. but there is a point where i draw the line..
ie. after about the 4th fucking SUV in a row tries to cut me off.
i with there was a way to have a small-sized refrigerator in my car so i could always keep fresh eggs on hand. nothing would make me happier than the sensation of heaving a few extra-large brown chicken eggs on the roof of brand new Mercedes SUV (like the one today). or, better yet, if the situation really called for it, heaving one through a window and in someone's face (preferably striking them in the forehead region) and watching egg yolk explode all over their leather interior.
there, i feel a little better now.
serenity now....
ist es möglich für ein quesadilla skrotum zu lecken? beim sprechen der quesadillas von LBF, ja. ja in der tatheheheheheheehehee! |
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danjersey
> Teenager of the Year <
USA
2813 Posts |
Posted - 02/24/2005 : 21:17:17
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chickens are overworked as it is floop, put a hex on'um, ooga booga like, and then breath.
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BLT
> Teenager of the Year <
South Sandwich Islands
4204 Posts |
Posted - 02/24/2005 : 22:02:00
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| I've envisioned a gun that shoots brake fluid at offending vehicles. It makes paint bubble. |
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Superabounder
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1049 Posts |
Posted - 02/24/2005 : 22:24:01
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I've wanted to drive an old piece of junk with tires attached to the sides and front and would just plow into the sides of the offending cars whenever it was called for. That would be fun sometimes. Real fun.
Last time I "threw the finger" at another driver, he followed me to my work and came close to killing me. Happened to be a very large african american man. I told him I was just saying he was "number one", and not shooting him the finger.
That sure was loads of fun.
Irish folk-tales scare the shit out of me |
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floop
= Wannabe Volunteer =
Mexico
15297 Posts |
Posted - 02/24/2005 : 23:04:59
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i hear you Superabounder. believe me, in my imagination, i've done extensive design to what the perfect car would be. ie. a car that no one could fuck with.. remember that scene in GREASE where they're racing (for pinks) in the the LA River? and the bad guy has those spike things that come out of his hubcaps? well, that's just a starting point for what i have in mind.
and i hear you on the finger. that's why i started this thread. i reached such a low point today that i actually gave a grown woman the finger (combined with a verbal "fuck you").. something i'm usually above doing. i felt bad about it, but she did deserve it. (my ultimate low-point was a few years ago when i said something very unsavory to someone that should not be repeated).
like i said, i try to be zen. i am zen. but a man can only take so much.
fresh eggs are the way forward. i'm telling you. catharsis through egg yolk
you just have to always remember: you have the power. if you have a normal "wahtever" car like me (Honda Civic), just remember that those assholes with 40,000 dollar SUV's are going to be more worried about denting their cars than you are. when it comes down to a "who's bluffing" situation, always hit the gas petal. they will surrender. they will lose. and they will be brought down (covered in egg yolk)
ist es möglich für ein quesadilla skrotum zu lecken? beim sprechen der quesadillas von LBF, ja. ja in der tatheheheheheheehehee! |
Edited by - floop on 02/24/2005 23:11:18 |
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Surfer Rosa
> Teenager of the Year <
4209 Posts |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 00:27:23
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Floop I feel your pain and anguish.
L.A. had the most insane traffic I have ever seen in my life. 3.5 hours to get from Santa Monica to the Troubadour is just not right.
I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.
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shineoftheever
> Teenager of the Year <
Canada
4307 Posts |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 00:49:43
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wouldn't rotten eggs be better? especially if they exploderated in the interior of another vehicle. ew!
I'm what you call a repeat offender. I repeat, I will offend again! |
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kathryn
~ Selkie Bride ~
Belgium
15320 Posts |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 04:10:21
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crank up Solid Gold and think of Brother Moe!
 I still believe in the excellent joy of the Catholics |
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n/a
deleted
4109 Posts |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 04:19:31
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I know how you feel, I hate traffic, I just can't stand it, so I don't go out much...
Next time you feel like that do this exercise, breath in and breath out with all your strengh a hundred times, and you'll feel better, I'm sure!
Someone tell me why I act like a fool
When things don't go my way
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Carolynanna
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Canada
6556 Posts |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 06:50:12
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I can't even imagine traffic in LA...
__________
Godfather of nothing, ancesters of none.
Black glasses and feedback took my sense of fun.
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speedy_m
= Frankofile =
Canada
3581 Posts |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 08:06:39
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Hey man, Calgary Tr. at rush hour is nothing sneeze at (dut to the Province of Alberta's stict sneezing ordinances).
 Here comes a special boy! |
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Carolynanna
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Canada
6556 Posts |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 08:17:46
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Yeah I spose,
but taking the Whitemud at rush hour is like a 50/50 chance of a 10 min or 2 hour commute.
__________
Godfather of nothing, ancesters of none.
Black glasses and feedback took my sense of fun.
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BLT
> Teenager of the Year <
South Sandwich Islands
4204 Posts |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 08:27:38
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quote:
Originally posted by Surfer Rosa
3.5 hours to get from Santa Monica to the Troubadour is just not right.
I don't see how that's possible unless you went via San Bernardino. |
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The Calistanian
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1342 Posts |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 08:31:03
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Has anybody freaked out at some car, and then it turned out you knew the person driving that car, and then you felt bad?
1. I am a fsh with no i's.
2. You must be wearing Zubaz, 'cause you're daring to be different.
3. I am a man with 3 fingers...but that doesn't count my index finger nor my thumb. |
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Surfer Rosa
> Teenager of the Year <
4209 Posts |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 08:43:14
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quote:
Originally posted by BLT
quote:
Originally posted by Surfer Rosa
3.5 hours to get from Santa Monica to the Troubadour is just not right.
I don't see how that's possible unless you went via San Bernardino.
Solid gridlock - it was just after all the rain and quite a few roads were closed, so I don't know if that affected it.
I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.
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offerw
* Dog in the Sand *
South Africa
1264 Posts |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 08:58:23
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quote:
Originally posted by The Calistanian
Has anybody freaked out at some car, and then it turned out you knew the person driving that car, and then you felt bad?
Yes.One morning on my way to work a guy overtook me from an inside exit lane, cutting in front of me. I flashed my lights, rammed the horn and screamed profanities. When I arrived at work the same car was parked in the parking area, it was a colleague I was working with. He apologised but I somehow felt like an arse for losing my cool.
Floop, didn't you fly into a rage because you had no music in the car or is your cd player fixed now?
I was listening to Show Me Your Tears on the way home today and the terrible traffic couldn't worry me one bit.
wilhelm |
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floop
= Wannabe Volunteer =
Mexico
15297 Posts |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 09:40:38
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quote:
Originally posted by Surfer Rosa
quote:
Originally posted by BLT
quote:
Originally posted by Surfer Rosa
3.5 hours to get from Santa Monica to the Troubadour is just not right.
I don't see how that's possible unless you went via San Bernardino.
Solid gridlock - it was just after all the rain and quite a few roads were closed, so I don't know if that affected it.
I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.
i was going to say that too.. i mean, no question about it our traffic is the absolute fucking worst. but 3 1/2 hours to the Troubadour from SM. even in the worst traffic, it should be an hour 1/2 tops..
it's so sad that you came during all that crappy rain surfer (we're having more right now)
ist es möglich für ein quesadilla skrotum zu lecken? beim sprechen der quesadillas von LBF, ja. ja in der tatheheheheheheehehee! |
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floop
= Wannabe Volunteer =
Mexico
15297 Posts |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 09:44:23
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quote:
Originally posted by offerw
Floop, didn't you fly into a rage because you had no music in the car or is your cd player fixed now?
admittedly, the continuing cd problem could have exasperated my mood yesterday.
ist es möglich für ein quesadilla skrotum zu lecken? beim sprechen der quesadillas von LBF, ja. ja in der tatheheheheheheehehee! |
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kathryn
~ Selkie Bride ~
Belgium
15320 Posts |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 10:25:23
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quote:
Originally posted by The Calistanian
Has anybody freaked out at some car, and then it turned out you knew the person driving that car, and then you felt bad?
This happens to me all the time, almost daily, but I never feel
bad just because I know the friggin' moron who drove
like an idiot.
I still believe in the excellent joy of the Catholics |
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BLT
> Teenager of the Year <
South Sandwich Islands
4204 Posts |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 10:34:56
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quote:
Originally posted by floop
it's so sad that you came during all that crappy rain surfer (we're having more right now)
34 inches for a town that averages 15 and we've still got two months left to the rainy season. Five more inches and we'll have our highest annual rainfall in recorded history. I love it. |
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floop
= Wannabe Volunteer =
Mexico
15297 Posts |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 10:44:37
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some of my design ideas:
i'd like to have an ultra-high wattage spotlight installed on the rear of the car, so when someone has their high-beams on me and they're tailgating.. they can get a retina-destroying taste of their own medicine..
also, pressure-controlled flame throwers on all four sides. that way, depending on the eggregiousness of the offending car, you have the option of going between a "warning flame" setting all the way on up to a "blazing inferno" setting, which would actually set people, and their cars, on fire.
ist es möglich für ein quesadilla skrotum zu lecken? beim sprechen der quesadillas von LBF, ja. ja in der tatheheheheheheehehee! |
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n/a
deleted
4109 Posts |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 10:47:01
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Floop, you need to fix that CD player, you're getting dangerous!
Someone tell me why I act like a fool
When things don't go my way
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Steak n Sabre
* Dog in the Sand *
Uzbekistan
1013 Posts |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 11:17:09
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quote:
Originally posted by BLT
I've envisioned a gun that shoots brake fluid at offending vehicles. It makes paint bubble.
Yes, just fill up a squirt gun with the stuff. I've also had this thought. The trick here is doing it without getting any on your car....
The Cult of Frank 2.0: It's not the coming of the aliens or anything... |
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KimStanleyRobinson
* Dog in the Sand *
1972 Posts |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 11:50:08
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quote:
Originally posted by rita
Next time you feel like that do this exercise, breath in and breath out with all your strengh a hundred times, and you'll feel better, I'm sure!
Why is this funny to me?
Headrush?
Roof mounted Howitzer.
Thats all I gotta say. |
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Llamadance
> Teenager of the Year <
United Kingdom
2543 Posts |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 11:53:52
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quote:
Originally posted by The Calistanian
Has anybody freaked out at some car, and then it turned out you knew the person driving that car, and then you felt bad?
This bloke pulled out in front of my mother-in-law, so she wound down the window, gave him the finger, called him a dickhead, and carried on.
The following Sunday at church, she was introduced to the new vicar, who smiled and said "I believe we've already met" 
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Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups |
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kathryn
~ Selkie Bride ~
Belgium
15320 Posts |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 12:19:37
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A couple of hours ago, I'm driving along with my kid and some
woman has stopped her minivan in the middle of the road, parked
it sideways, so she can block a guy across the cross street
all the better for him to view her leaning most of her body out
of her window and giving him the finger. I hear a little voice
from my backseat ask, "Mommy, what is that lady doing with her
hand?"
I still believe in the excellent joy of the Catholics |
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KimStanleyRobinson
* Dog in the Sand *
1972 Posts |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 12:38:43
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Being a 'not very smart' person and a meanie, honey.
Don't ever do what she's doing or people will think you're not very smart and that you are a meanie.
So, needless to say, if you were waiting around with five bucks in your hand waiting to buy my upcoming brochure Understanding Poop, you can put that five bucks away, 'cause it ain't happenin.
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kathryn
~ Selkie Bride ~
Belgium
15320 Posts |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 12:48:13
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Good parenting skills there, KSR! Thanks! I went with a
mumbled, "Um, I don't know sweetheart."
I still believe in the excellent joy of the Catholics |
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PixieSteve
> Teenager of the Year <
Poland
4698 Posts |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 12:52:01
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quote:
Originally posted by floop
i with there was a way to have a small-sized refrigerator in my car so i could always keep fresh eggs on hand.
if you drove a SUV that might have been possible.
 I joined the Cult of Pi / Because it's cool |
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floop
= Wannabe Volunteer =
Mexico
15297 Posts |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 13:33:29
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quote:
Originally posted by PixieSteve
quote:
Originally posted by floop
i with there was a way to have a small-sized refrigerator in my car so i could always keep fresh eggs on hand.
if you drove a SUV that might have been possible.
I joined the Cult of Pi / Because it's cool
you do have a good point, i have to admit.
i'm willing to sacrifice the passenger seat space for a fridge though. if people don't mind sitting in the back
ist es möglich für ein quesadilla skrotum zu lecken? beim sprechen der quesadillas von LBF, ja. ja in der tatheheheheheheehehee! |
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apl4eris
~ Abstract Brain ~
USA
4800 Posts |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 14:06:19
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quote:
Originally posted by Steak n Sabre
quote:
Originally posted by BLT
I've envisioned a gun that shoots brake fluid at offending vehicles. It makes paint bubble.
Yes, just fill up a squirt gun with the stuff. I've also had this thought. The trick here is doing it without getting any on your car....
How about a bologna-pult? You could set up a trigger mechanism through the side-view mirror openings. If you get the slices to land on their roof without them noticng, on a good hot sunny summer's day, it will make a nice polka-dot effect when they finally peel them off. 
(Bologna Method *non-catapult version*= Spudboy-tested and approved.) |
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floop
= Wannabe Volunteer =
Mexico
15297 Posts |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 14:13:27
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egg yolk/white is also very effective at ruining paint. take it from someone who spent a large part of his childhood throwing eggs at various things (including peoples houses)
ist es möglich für ein quesadilla skrotum zu lecken? beim sprechen der quesadillas von LBF, ja. ja in der tatheheheheheheehehee! |
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apl4eris
~ Abstract Brain ~
USA
4800 Posts |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 14:25:04
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The thing about bologna is they may not notice it for a while. Just a quiet, unassuming "splat".
Though the egg is a perfect weapon, and food, it tends to run and make its presence known too soon. |
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apl4eris
~ Abstract Brain ~
USA
4800 Posts |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 14:28:23
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| Then again, it certainly couldn't hurt to use both. |
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floop
= Wannabe Volunteer =
Mexico
15297 Posts |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 14:30:27
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with the egg you get the satisfaction of watching it explode. plus, there's something classicly insulting about throwing an egg. in an almost iconic sense.
also, if you hit a person with an egg it hurts. i've been hit with eggs.. if you're going the throw-through-window route, just something to keep in mind.
ist es möglich für ein quesadilla skrotum zu lecken? beim sprechen der quesadillas von LBF, ja. ja in der tatheheheheheheehehee! |
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floop
= Wannabe Volunteer =
Mexico
15297 Posts |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 14:31:48
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quote:
Originally posted by apl4eris
Then again, it certainly couldn't hurt to use both.
i like the way you think apl. would you have any interest in joining my design team?
ist es möglich für ein quesadilla skrotum zu lecken? beim sprechen der quesadillas von LBF, ja. ja in der tatheheheheheheehehee! |
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Topic |
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road rage
