| Author |
 Topic  |
|
Cheeseman1000
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Iceland
8201 Posts |
 Posted - 10/11/2004 : 10:55:20
|
In a totally hypothetical situation, what song would you recommend to serenade a lady? Bear in mind that hypothetically, the singer doesn't have a great voice but can play the guitar.
"You ever seen a man say goodbye to a shoe?"
"Yes, once..." |
|
|
LBF1976
= Cult of Ray =
269 Posts |
Posted - 10/11/2004 : 11:01:53
|
How about an orignal song written about the person?
Floops quesedillas zijn te vergelijken met het likken van fatsige Albert's aars nadat hij een fles laxeermiddel heeft leeggedronken. |
 |
|
|
Cheeseman1000
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Iceland
8201 Posts |
Posted - 10/11/2004 : 11:04:49
|
That option has already been considered, but this person hypothetically sucks as a songwriter. He wouldn't want to risk sounding completely lame, or an original would be ideal.
"You ever seen a man say goodbye to a shoe?"
"Yes, once..." |
|
|
|
n/a
deleted
4894 Posts |
Posted - 10/11/2004 : 11:06:03
|
does the hypothetical lady have certain music tastes that the hypothetical serenader should be taking into account?
I look like the kind of guy who pimps his sister not just for the money, but because he hates her
|
|
|
|
KimStanleyRobinson
* Dog in the Sand *
1972 Posts |
Posted - 10/11/2004 : 11:07:52
|
"Sweet Baby James" from James Taylor got me a girlfriend once.
You might also try "Yesterday" from the Beatles.
A love song you've written will work better than anyone else's...or find out one she really likes and learn it.
Try "Lick my Love Pump" from Spinal Tap...of course, you'd have to transpose from piano to guitar...but D minor is the saddest of all keys. She'll weep instantly when she hears it...on guitar or piano.
|
|
|
|
Cheeseman1000
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Iceland
8201 Posts |
Posted - 10/11/2004 : 11:08:37
|
I think so, because this hypothetical lady is (he thinks) in a band. However, our serenader does not know what sort of music, which would make things easier. He's guessing something reasonably credible would go down better than something lame and cheesy though.
"You ever seen a man say goodbye to a shoe?"
"Yes, once..." |
|
|
|
ShakeyShake
* Dog in the Sand *
United Kingdom
1058 Posts |
Posted - 10/11/2004 : 11:09:01
|
Ricky Martin - She bangs,by the way Simon,did you know that your project on the pixies has earned itself it's own thread over at pixiesmusic.com?You're like, a celebrity now.
Shemales have rights too... |
|
|
|
KimStanleyRobinson
* Dog in the Sand *
1972 Posts |
Posted - 10/11/2004 : 11:09:58
|
Oh, she's in a band?
A cool one?
Radiohead:
Fake Plastic Trees
|
|
|
|
n/a
deleted
4894 Posts |
Posted - 10/11/2004 : 11:10:08
|
you and me song by the wannadies
I look like the kind of guy who pimps his sister not just for the money, but because he hates her
|
|
|
|
n/a
deleted
4894 Posts |
Posted - 10/11/2004 : 11:11:20
|
fake plastic trees is not romantic! Black Star is more romantic than fake plastic trees and Radiohead is bloody hard to sing
I look like the kind of guy who pimps his sister not just for the money, but because he hates her
|
|
|
|
remig
* Dog in the Sand *
France
1734 Posts |
Posted - 10/11/2004 : 11:11:32
|
True Blue (FB one).
***********************************************
So you have no point of reference, Donny.
You're like a child that wanders INTO THE MIDDLE OF A MOVIE! |
|
|
|
Cheeseman1000
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Iceland
8201 Posts |
Posted - 10/11/2004 : 11:13:04
|
quote:
Originally posted by KimStanleyRobinson
Oh, she's in a band?
A cool one?
Hypothetically, the stalking is already in progress to find this out.
So far suggestions have been for our hero to set himself on fire and run across the room and collapse at her feet. On the whole, he prefers the idea of a serenade.
"You ever seen a man say goodbye to a shoe?"
"Yes, once..." |
|
|
|
n/a
deleted
4894 Posts |
Posted - 10/11/2004 : 11:19:57
|
you're pretty good looking for a girl, the white stripes?
I look like the kind of guy who pimps his sister not just for the money, but because he hates her
|
|
|
|
LBF1976
= Cult of Ray =
269 Posts |
Posted - 10/11/2004 : 11:21:13
|
Write a song that spells out her name, and it doesn't have to make any sense, but that tends to work to impress the girl and it makes it easier to write the song, and bear in mind that the words don't have to make any sense, and the composition does not need to be a complicated masterpeice, just keep it simple, and practise it a few times. Pracitse it, and then say you wrote it today, like a few hours ago, she'll see the thought you put into it, and though you might not be that great, she'll be impressed on how well you seem to have put together a peice in a few hours ;)
Floops quesedillas zijn te vergelijken met het likken van fatsige Albert's aars nadat hij een fles laxeermiddel heeft leeggedronken. |
|
|
|
whoreatthedoor
> Teenager of the Year <
Spain
2873 Posts |
Posted - 10/11/2004 : 11:21:25
|
She's in a band and you don't know what kind of music? Too risky.
Forget it by now and make some previous investigations.
"¡¡¡Bien!!!, dame el ritmo. Así es mejor" - Jonathan Richman |
|
|
|
LBF1976
= Cult of Ray =
269 Posts |
Posted - 10/11/2004 : 11:22:55
|
I always think the "pretty good looking for a girl" had some homosexual undertones, however slight they may be, she might think you're ususally gay if you sing that one, it's your choice there...
Floops quesedillas zijn te vergelijken met het likken van fatsige Albert's aars nadat hij een fles laxeermiddel heeft leeggedronken. |
|
|
|
Cheeseman1000
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Iceland
8201 Posts |
Posted - 10/11/2004 : 11:25:47
|
quote:
Originally posted by LBF1976
Write a song that spells out her name,
Funny you should say this Andy, our hero's boss already tried that:
K is for Kutie, oh what a kute face,
A is for Amorous, don't spray me with Mace!
T is for Tiger, what long sharp claws
I is for Illegal - lets break the laws!
E is for Excess - too much is just right!
He's still working on the last line.
Be assured that investigations are underway, whore.
"You ever seen a man say goodbye to a shoe?"
"Yes, once..." |
|
|
|
n/a
deleted
4894 Posts |
Posted - 10/11/2004 : 11:28:06
|
(I was taking the piss slightly there Andy)
Seriously though, er, the untitled track on REM's green is quite sweet, Buckleys always good but the falsetto will be a bitch and if the hypothetical mushy serenader can't really sing that well it's best to keep away.
Is the hypothetical serenader aiming for deadly serious or tongue in cheek here, when can we stop saying hypotheitcal, it's a fucker to type
I look like the kind of guy who pimps his sister not just for the money, but because he hates her
|
|
|
|
Cheeseman1000
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Iceland
8201 Posts |
Posted - 10/11/2004 : 11:31:57
|
Difficult to say really, somewhere between the two, he supposes.
"You ever seen a man say goodbye to a shoe?"
"Yes, once..." |
|
|
|
n/a
deleted
4894 Posts |
Posted - 10/11/2004 : 11:37:09
|
what about that song at the end of the wedding singer, daft enough to be funny but soft enough to make most girls go aaaahhh.
Have you, er sorry mr hypothetical had any ideas of your, er his own
I look like the kind of guy who pimps his sister not just for the money, but because he hates her
|
|
|
|
Cheeseman1000
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Iceland
8201 Posts |
Posted - 10/11/2004 : 11:39:17
|
Not really. He's no good at this sort of thing.
He thought asking some girls might be cunning at this juncture.
"You ever seen a man say goodbye to a shoe?"
"Yes, once..." |
|
|
|
LBF1976
= Cult of Ray =
269 Posts |
Posted - 10/11/2004 : 11:41:17
|
Katydids as thoughts drifting
Always on top of the night stand
Transitory and oblique
Innocent and innate
Encapsulated and displaced
See, it makes no sense at all, but it is weird and you could make a simple guitar part to play with it... how can she not like Katydids as the first line? Just a suggestion, I'm sure you can modify this or make your own... good luck.
Floops quesedillas zijn te vergelijken met het likken van fatsige Albert's aars nadat hij een fles laxeermiddel heeft leeggedronken. |
|
|
|
Cheeseman1000
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Iceland
8201 Posts |
Posted - 10/11/2004 : 11:48:39
|
When our hero would do it, it would suck. Believe him.
But he sends his thanks, Andy - the effort is appreciated.
The best our hypothetical friend has come up with so far is 'Beautiful' by Christina Aguilera, so he needs all the help he can get.
"You ever seen a man say goodbye to a shoe?"
"Yes, once..." |
|
|
|
KimStanleyRobinson
* Dog in the Sand *
1972 Posts |
Posted - 10/11/2004 : 11:53:32
|
quote:
Originally posted by Cheeseman1000
The best our hypothetical friend has come up with so far is 'Beautiful' by Christina Aguilera, so he needs all the help he can get.
Does he ever!
I thought to suggest making something up on the spot, but on second thought this may not be a good suggestion.
Good luck to the poor sot.
Unless she's in a really, really bad band he's probly going to make a bit of an ass of himself.
|
|
|
|
PsychicTwin
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1772 Posts |
Posted - 10/11/2004 : 11:59:07
|
| play and sing Letter to Memphis! |
|
|
|
n/a
deleted
4894 Posts |
Posted - 10/11/2004 : 12:02:17
|
ooooooooooooh OK
I have been discussing this problem with my housemate and hetero life partner Kath and we decided
Travelling Wilburys - Handle with Care.
We, as females, approve of that one
I look like the kind of guy who pimps his sister not just for the money, but because he hates her
|
|
|
|
Cheeseman1000
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Iceland
8201 Posts |
Posted - 10/11/2004 : 12:09:07
|
He doesn't know it, which doesn't really help. Lyrics?
"You ever seen a man say goodbye to a shoe?"
"Yes, once..." |
|
|
|
n/a
deleted
4894 Posts |
Posted - 10/11/2004 : 12:17:18
|
Now I'm a touched shocked that you don't know this. The Travelling Willburys are VITAL my hetero life partner and I feel. We're a touch disgusted.
Been beat up and battered ’round
Been sent up, and I’ve been shot down
You’re the best thing that I’ve ever found
Handle me with care
Reputations changeable
Situations tolerable
Baby, you’re adorable
Handle me with care
(chorus)
I’m so tired of being lonely
I still have some love to give
Won’t you show me that you really care
(bridge)
Everybody’s got somebody to lean on
Put your body next to mine, and dream on
I’ve been fobbed off, and I’ve been fooled
I’ve been robbed and ridiculed
In day care centers and night schools
Handle me with care
Been stuck in airports, terrorized
Sent to meetings, hypnotized
Overexposed, commercialized
Hand me with care
(chorus)
(bridge)
I’ve been uptight and made a mess
But I’ll clean it up myself, I guess
Oh, the sweet smell of success
Handle me with care
it'll suit almost any kind of voice too, well it should considering who sings on it
just our suggestion, we'll keep thinking though, this is a fun game
I look like the kind of guy who pimps his sister not just for the money, but because he hates her
|
|
|
|
whoreatthedoor
> Teenager of the Year <
Spain
2873 Posts |
Posted - 10/11/2004 : 12:26:48
|
And what about "You are the Everything". It's easy to play, not too cheesy, and very beautiful. Also it doesn't need a great voice to do a lovely performance.
"¡¡¡Bien!!!, dame el ritmo. Así es mejor" - Jonathan Richman |
|
|
|
n/a
deleted
4894 Posts |
Posted - 10/11/2004 : 12:29:33
|
I thought of that but I figured it was a bit intense. It is lovely though, I might have to put that on next,
going through my CD's we also thought the Black Crowes, Hot to handle would be good
I look like the kind of guy who pimps his sister not just for the money, but because he hates her
|
|
|
|
Ebb Vicious
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1162 Posts |
Posted - 10/11/2004 : 12:31:08
|
i have posted these lyrics before i think, but here they are again;
i love you baby
but all i can think about is
kielbasa sausage
your buttcheeks is warm
i check my dipstick
you need lubrication, honey
and my kielbasa sausage
has just got to perform
now get it on
i see you walkin'
but all i can think about is
dianetics
your buttcheeks is warm
i check my dipstick
you need lubrication, honey
and my kielbasa sausage
has just got to perform
now i've been set loose-ah
i'm shooting my juice-ah
right in your kaboose
now fucking get it on
get it on |
|
|
|
jediroller
* Dog in the Sand *
France
1718 Posts |
Posted - 10/11/2004 : 12:38:30
|
Tell our hero to get The Magnetic Fields "69 Love Songs" and just pick one.
The lady must be able to appreciate irony.
Choice ditty of the day: "How Fucking Romantic". No instrumental skills needed, it's a capella.
Alternatively, "Let's Pretend We're Bunny Rabbits", which is my new theme song:
"Let's pretend we're bunny rabbits
Let's do it all day long..."
Could be considered rude though.
In a really hypothetically romantic situation though, and if Our Hero can play decent guitar, I'd go with Kristin Hersh.
"All I want is spring
All I want is you smiling."
Take this rock and shake it 'til it bleeds. |
|
|
|
whoreatthedoor
> Teenager of the Year <
Spain
2873 Posts |
Posted - 10/11/2004 : 12:40:18
|
The Bloodhound Gang - The Bad Touch
"¡¡¡Bien!!!, dame el ritmo. Así es mejor" - Jonathan Richman |
|
|
|
ShakeyShake
* Dog in the Sand *
United Kingdom
1058 Posts |
Posted - 10/11/2004 : 13:10:05
|
I'm seconding the Kristin Hersh suggestion.There's a Kristin song for every occasion.And for almost every letter of the alphabet.
Shemales have rights too... |
|
|
|
Cheeseman1000
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Iceland
8201 Posts |
Posted - 10/11/2004 : 14:00:14
|
Kristin Hersch, our man likes your train of thought. Which song is that from? Any girl that can appreciate Kristin has got to be worth something, right?
Our man pulled the acid test the other: the SMYT T-shirt. There are three responses:
1) Who's Frank Black? Why would he name his band the Catholics?
2) Ah, Frank Black. OK, thats not too bad.
3) That T-shirt is not an official tour T-shirt, where did you get your's from?
Of course, the Object of Affection wasn't around that day.
The only other one our hypothetical buddy can come up with is 'Lover, You Should've Come Over' by Jeff Buckley. Morbidly romantic, maybe.
"You ever seen a man say goodbye to a shoe?"
"Yes, once..." |
|
|
|
floop
= Wannabe Volunteer =
Mexico
15297 Posts |
Posted - 10/11/2004 : 14:09:23
|
i would recommend against singing the US National Anthem. it's very difficult to sing.
ist es möglich für ein quesadilla skrotum zu lecken? beim sprechen der quesadillas von LBF, ja. ja in der tatheheheheheheehehee! |
|
|
|
Topic |
|
Serenading
