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Coldheartofstone
* Dog in the Sand *
Canada
2025 Posts |
 Posted - 01/05/2004 : 16:26:05
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Hey there,
Yep....something very unnerving happened to me yesterday.
Well, first of all...I seem to be going out with a complete jerk, and It is my own fault really because I'm afraid of being alone...but that is besides the point. It occured to me, while we were ....uhh...being intimate(though it's nothing short of just plain animal procreation, minus the passion)that he was watching T.V.and then admitted it after. Givin it was Family Guy, but still... So any thoughts or appropriate bashing would really be appreciated at this moment in time.
She aches just like a woman, but she breaks just like a little girl. |
Edited by - Coldheartofstone on 01/05/2004 16:53:06 |
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TheCroutonFuton
- Mr. Setlists -
USA
1728 Posts |
Posted - 01/05/2004 : 16:29:11
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Wow. Umm...what a dickhead...literally. Perhaps he's just using you for the "intimacy"? Blah..I think I speak for all men when I say that...WE SUCK! Oh, and a lot of women suck, too. We're pretty much even, just in different ways.
Hmm..I really don't know what to do about that. Talk to him about how he feels towards you. Because in this situation you were being intimate to him. Not with him. That's not right. I'm really sorry that happened.
 "Join the Cult of Gunn / And Then You'll Be Destined to be a Rock and Roll Star of Epical Proportions!" |
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TheCroutonFuton
- Mr. Setlists -
USA
1728 Posts |
Posted - 01/05/2004 : 16:38:17
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Meh...sorry to reply again...but yeah...don't take this the wrong way..but maybe it is your fault that you're with him because you don't want to be alone. Just..just think about what you can do for the next great guy you meet now. Maybe he'd feel more comfortable if you hadn't slept with this person. You know what I mean? Always think ahead. And..I think it's better to be alone than to be violated and treated like an object. I mean, come on, you love the pixies. You're a sane man's best catch. Don't worry...there will be others that want you. That need you, actually.
"Join the Cult of Gunn / And Then You'll Be Destined to be a Rock and Roll Star of Epical Proportions!" |
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Coldheartofstone
* Dog in the Sand *
Canada
2025 Posts |
Posted - 01/05/2004 : 16:39:05
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I actually think he's a closet case... he treats sex like some sort of race to the finish line. And he thinks he is the hottest guy in the world...He's pretty hot...but his personality makes him more ugly everyday. He constantly tells me "Ya know If you were ugly I probably wouldn't even talk to you...I mean I'd still think you were pretty cool as a person but...ya know." WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!!!
and he always looks...wait no stares at other girls when I'm right beside him... he's like your typical Wedding Singer fiance dude....
She aches just like a woman, but she breaks just like a little girl. |
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Coldheartofstone
* Dog in the Sand *
Canada
2025 Posts |
Posted - 01/05/2004 : 16:41:21
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That actually sweet... thank you.. And I do know it's my fault... I just seem to like the punishment for some reason. I know exactly what I need to do... and this thread may seem like nothing but a pathetic grab for attention...but everyone needs that sometimes...
She aches just like a woman, but she breaks just like a little girl. |
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TheCroutonFuton
- Mr. Setlists -
USA
1728 Posts |
Posted - 01/05/2004 : 16:42:09
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Oh, well...he actually just probably sucks and can't hold off long enough to please you. That's probably the last thing on his mind, unfortunatly. Wow...he is one shallow son of a bitch. Do yourself a favor and dump his ass. The fact that he's looking at other girls and is attracted to them proves he doesn't love you. I find no other women attractive except my girlfriend. Meh..he's just a shallow, selfish, worthless piece of crap.
"Join the Cult of Gunn / And Then You'll Be Destined to be a Rock and Roll Star of Epical Proportions!" |
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Coldheartofstone
* Dog in the Sand *
Canada
2025 Posts |
Posted - 01/05/2004 : 16:44:17
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I mean I have no problem If the person I'm with looks at other people...but just maybe try to make it look like it's not happening. I meqan that's just polite..heh.
She aches just like a woman, but she breaks just like a little girl. |
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Coldheartofstone
* Dog in the Sand *
Canada
2025 Posts |
Posted - 01/05/2004 : 16:44:17
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I mean I have no problem If the person I'm with looks at other people...but just maybe try to make it look like it's not happening. I meqan that's just polite..heh.
She aches just like a woman, but she breaks just like a little girl. |
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TheCroutonFuton
- Mr. Setlists -
USA
1728 Posts |
Posted - 01/05/2004 : 16:44:57
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Oh no, I understand completely. You're just confused. I'm confused all of the time, haha. No shame in that. If other people give you shit and are like "oh you're dumb blablabla" just try to ignore them. You don't need that. You need people who actually look at your perspective. I understand, I mean...I see it all of the time...this situation, that is. It really sucks. And it's not only guys who are like this with sexual relationships...I've found out the hard way. I mean..my girlfriend cheated on me a while ago...but..I knew that she was sorry and would never do it again..so that's why I'm with her still. I didn't want to lose what we had. Just...listen to different people's ideas...think about them tonight. Get a good night's sleep and perhaps in the morning you'll have your conclusion.
"Join the Cult of Gunn / And Then You'll Be Destined to be a Rock and Roll Star of Epical Proportions!" |
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TheCroutonFuton
- Mr. Setlists -
USA
1728 Posts |
Posted - 01/05/2004 : 16:44:57
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Oh no, I understand completely. You're just confused. I'm confused all of the time, haha. No shame in that. If other people give you shit and are like "oh you're dumb blablabla" just try to ignore them. You don't need that. You need people who actually look at your perspective. I understand, I mean...I see it all of the time...this situation, that is. It really sucks. And it's not only guys who are like this with sexual relationships...I've found out the hard way. I mean..my girlfriend cheated on me a while ago...but..I knew that she was sorry and would never do it again..so that's why I'm with her still. I didn't want to lose what we had. Just...listen to different people's ideas...think about them tonight. Get a good night's sleep and perhaps in the morning you'll have your conclusion.
"Join the Cult of Gunn / And Then You'll Be Destined to be a Rock and Roll Star of Epical Proportions!" |
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Coldheartofstone
* Dog in the Sand *
Canada
2025 Posts |
Posted - 01/05/2004 : 16:48:13
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I know what ya mean... But I think I'm just trying to take my feelings...and his to places they don't want to go. I mean we are complete opposites, which in some cases isn't such a bad thing...but in this case it's a matter of morals and all that crap.hahaha. You know how usually at the beginning of a relationship two people can' seem to get enough of each other??? well that was never the case here...It just went from mutual tolerance to comfort.
She aches just like a woman, but she breaks just like a little girl. |
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TheCroutonFuton
- Mr. Setlists -
USA
1728 Posts |
Posted - 01/05/2004 : 16:50:05
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Were you friends with him before you started dating? Personally, I think that it's best to cross the line to romance with a good friend. That way you already know them and there won't be any dirty little secrets, or unknown past for that matter, to bite you in the ass. I don't know...I'm weird.
"Join the Cult of Gunn / And Then You'll Be Destined to be a Rock and Roll Star of Epical Proportions!" |
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Coldheartofstone
* Dog in the Sand *
Canada
2025 Posts |
Posted - 01/05/2004 : 16:52:50
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No I was not. but that's a good theory, you're not weird...and It worked once for me. But like love always is,it's unpredictable.
She aches just like a woman, but she breaks just like a little girl. |
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TheCroutonFuton
- Mr. Setlists -
USA
1728 Posts |
Posted - 01/05/2004 : 16:56:34
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Oh yeah. Ooh..and don't forget...most times love and infatuation feel the same. Try to think with your brain and not your heart or sex organs, heh. Usually what seems like common sense in your mind may not be the same for your heart. Love distorts things sometimes...so we can hear what we want to hear, basically. It's just a defense mechanism. I know I've been a victim of it....in fact...I blame myself for her cheating on me. My mind says that I'm ridiculous and that it's not my fault at all, but I don't want her feeling bad about it, so I blame myself and I really believe it's my fault. Further prove that I am weird.
"Join the Cult of Gunn / And Then You'll Be Destined to be a Rock and Roll Star of Epical Proportions!" |
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TheCroutonFuton
- Mr. Setlists -
USA
1728 Posts |
Posted - 01/05/2004 : 17:00:24
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I just read my last post and I think it could be taken as me speaking down to you. That's not the case, hehe.
"Join the Cult of Gunn / And Then You'll Be Destined to be a Rock and Roll Star of Epical Proportions!" |
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Coldheartofstone
* Dog in the Sand *
Canada
2025 Posts |
Posted - 01/05/2004 : 17:09:09
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Heh...well that makes sense... I understand... I do sometime's think more with my heart that anything else...but I hate to admit it, this time I am thinking with my sex organs...hahahaha....though not much satisfaction comes from that either. I'm just a hoplessly hopless romantic..always hoping it will get better.
She aches just like a woman, but she breaks just like a little girl. |
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Coldheartofstone
* Dog in the Sand *
Canada
2025 Posts |
Posted - 01/05/2004 : 17:09:58
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hopeless i mean...not hopless...hahahah... i have no trouble with that.
She aches just like a woman, but she breaks just like a little girl. |
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TheCroutonFuton
- Mr. Setlists -
USA
1728 Posts |
Posted - 01/05/2004 : 17:12:41
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Hmm...I don't think romantic is the noun you're looking for. Remember, sex is like bridge, if you don't have a good partner you'd better have a good hand. It's even less satisfying for you for the asshole to be not paying attention to you and saying how he wouldn't be with you if you were ugly. Jeeze...the nerve that guy has. So..hmm...I don't know...you're being pretty shallow here, no offense. You can easily get out of the situation if you want to...but again, that's your choice to make.
"Join the Cult of Gunn / And Then You'll Be Destined to be a Rock and Roll Star of Epical Proportions!" |
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Coldheartofstone
* Dog in the Sand *
Canada
2025 Posts |
Posted - 01/05/2004 : 17:18:44
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I hate to think of myself being shallow right now...but If I denied it I would just be lying... I know what I have to do...I just have to build up the courage to get it over with...and by the way my hand is fine.hahaha.
She aches just like a woman, but she breaks just like a little girl. |
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glacial906
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1738 Posts |
Posted - 01/05/2004 : 17:19:31
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quote:
Originally posted by TheCroutonFuton
Oh no, I understand completely. You're just confused. I'm confused all of the time, haha. No shame in that. If other people give you shit and are like "oh you're dumb blablabla" just try to ignore them. You don't need that. You need people who actually look at your perspective. I understand, I mean...I see it all of the time...this situation, that is. It really sucks. And it's not only guys who are like this with sexual relationships...I've found out the hard way. I mean..my girlfriend cheated on me a while ago...but..I knew that she was sorry and would never do it again..so that's why I'm with her still. I didn't want to lose what we had. Just...listen to different people's ideas...think about them tonight. Get a good night's sleep and perhaps in the morning you'll have your conclusion.
"Join the Cult of Gunn / And Then You'll Be Destined to be a Rock and Roll Star of Epical Proportions!"
If my girlfriend (or wife, as it is) were to cheat on me, and I had the graciousness to forgive her, I certainly wouldn't be concerned with finding other girls attractive. I don't mean to sound rude but I find it just about impossible that a 15 year old guy doesn't even find other women attractive. I'm not saying go out and hit on a bunch of them, you don't even have to talk to them if you don't want to, but just because you're committed doesn't mean you're not still a human being...Me and my wife both admit sometimes that we find other people attractive, it's not that we want anyone but each other, but we aren't uncomfortable admitting up to it. Mostly it's just actors and actresses that we speak of when we talk about stuff like that, but every once in awhile it comes up that she thinks so-and-so at work cute, or vice versa. It's nothing really that serious, or anything to be concerned about. Now, acting on impulses would be a different matter completely.
Didn't mean to sabatage your post, Coldheartofstone. I think that you already know the answer to your original question; I think the best thing you could do for yourself would be break off whatever type of relationship you have with him. It seems okay to me to have a physical "fling" with somebody (as long as you're not reckless and don't catch anything...) but both people need to be on the same wavelength. If one person thinks that they are in a committed relationship, and the other person is just in it for the sex, that's where problems rise up. I'm not saying that's the case with you...you don't make him sound like a very likeable guy, but of course we are reading your words from the other end and don't know the feelings behind them. It's easy for us to say you should dump him from our vantage point, but I think we've all been fucked over at some point by a member of the opposite sex.
Anyway, just do it! Dump him! Analyze later.
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
Carl Sagan
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TheCroutonFuton
- Mr. Setlists -
USA
1728 Posts |
Posted - 01/05/2004 : 17:21:38
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Glacial..I know what you mean. But like...it's not even my choice to not find them attractive. They just aren't. It's quite strange. I'm glad it's like that, though, because I respect that about myself.
"Join the Cult of Gunn / And Then You'll Be Destined to be a Rock and Roll Star of Epical Proportions!" |
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Coldheartofstone
* Dog in the Sand *
Canada
2025 Posts |
Posted - 01/05/2004 : 17:29:05
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I have been there as well....I still look, but more on a " what a remarkable specimen" kinda way.
She aches just like a woman, but she breaks just like a little girl. |
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TheCroutonFuton
- Mr. Setlists -
USA
1728 Posts |
Posted - 01/05/2004 : 17:31:27
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hehe, I do find children and babies very very cute, though, hehe. They're so great. Like the little girl in the Matrix 3...haha awwww so cute. And no, I'm not a pedophile, hahaha, if stitches is reading this I'm sure he'd make that remark.
"Join the Cult of Gunn / And Then You'll Be Destined to be a Rock and Roll Star of Epical Proportions!" |
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Coldheartofstone
* Dog in the Sand *
Canada
2025 Posts |
Posted - 01/05/2004 : 17:33:59
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hahahahah....lovely.I just seem to have bad luck in the game of love. I'm not claiming to be the only one....but it's just so damn unfortunate.
She aches just like a woman, but she breaks just like a little girl. |
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TheCroutonFuton
- Mr. Setlists -
USA
1728 Posts |
Posted - 01/05/2004 : 17:37:50
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Well, as William Shakespeare once said, "If music be the food of love, play on."
"Join the Cult of Gunn / And Then You'll Be Destined to be a Rock and Roll Star of Epical Proportions!" |
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glacial906
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1738 Posts |
Posted - 01/05/2004 : 17:52:28
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quote:
Originally posted by TheCroutonFuton
Glacial..I know what you mean. But like...it's not even my choice to not find them attractive. They just aren't. It's quite strange. I'm glad it's like that, though, because I respect that about myself.
"Join the Cult of Gunn / And Then You'll Be Destined to be a Rock and Roll Star of Epical Proportions!"
I never was very adept at getting girls...I've only been in a couple of serious relationships, and now that I'm married it's almost a relief. I've finally found a girl who accepts my dorky, comic-book lovin', Frank Black listenin', computer addicted self. There's alot of guys who find the lifestyle I live, that of being a family man, abhorrent but I'd say the benifits far outweigh the disadvantages.
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
Carl Sagan
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glacial906
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1738 Posts |
Posted - 01/05/2004 : 17:55:18
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quote:
Originally posted by Coldheartofstone
hahahahah....lovely.I just seem to have bad luck in the game of love. I'm not claiming to be the only one....but it's just so damn unfortunate.
She aches just like a woman, but she breaks just like a little girl.
I guess there's just a good deal of sifting through the rabble before you find someone who's right for you. Some people luck out and meet someone right off the bat but for the most part it just takes trial and error. All this advice must seem pretty trite, huh?
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
Carl Sagan
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TheCroutonFuton
- Mr. Setlists -
USA
1728 Posts |
Posted - 01/05/2004 : 18:01:36
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"Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable."
- C.S. Lewis
"Join the Cult of Gunn / And Then You'll Be Destined to be a Rock and Roll Star of Epical Proportions!" |
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El Barto
= Song DB Master =
USA
4020 Posts |
Posted - 01/05/2004 : 18:24:10
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I think relationships are a bunch of shit anyway. Of course, this is somewhat biased due to the fact of what happened to me recently anyway, but it seems that a larger percentage than just 50% of relationships end in failure. I don't know why that is. People forget maybe that a relationship is two people, and your decisions affect not only your life, but the relationship as a whole. Too many external factors come into play, too many things obstruct the one thing that should really matter, and that's the love for one another.
To think that looking at other women or finding other women attractive means you don't love your partner is bullshit. I know I loved my now ex, but I still looked at other women, etc. etc. I never did anything with anyone but her and I never would have. She was the same way and I knew and trusted her. It sucks now to think about all the things one has to find in another person in order to be in a nice, stable relationship with them...besides things in common, you have to trust them and believe what they say is true.
Relationships at this age are rediculous. People shouldn't be looking for something serious until 27 or later when they have a steady head on their shoulders, know their position in life, and are ready to settle down and love and be loved. Sure, that's now how it's gonna be, and there are exceptions to every rule, but looking for a long term relationship so young is kinda crazy. I found out the hard way. I could only hope that others find out differently and fall in love forever. There are too many things that need to be gotten out of the way first...casual sex, dating, meeting other people. Once you've experienced all the other shit, you're ready to see the other side of the fence.
Sorry to be so rantish. Guys are stupid. I'm glad I'm not a typical guy. I'm glad that even though I'm horny as hell all the time, I make sure I'm the last one to finish, if you know what I mean. I may enjoy porn, or take in an unhealthy amount, but at least I don't objectify women in reality. I might think bad things about women in my head (like "oooooh i'd like to blank blank with her") but I don't do any of that. Guys who treat women like dirt, like a sex doll, should be castrated. But the problem here is, is that women, at least around this age, are more likely to hook up with the Johnnys than they are with the nice guys, like me...the nice guy always loses. It's too fucking true.
 "I joined the Cult of Clops / If I were you, I'd sleep with one eye open." |
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TheCroutonFuton
- Mr. Setlists -
USA
1728 Posts |
Posted - 01/05/2004 : 18:56:38
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I hear you El Barto...Most guys are assholes...but there are a few of us nice ones out there. Yes, I know I'm very young...we've already gone over that. Also, I disagree that you have to experience casual sex. There's no need for it at all. I don't see the appeal of it. They just end up hurting people in the end in some way, shape, or form. It's just not healthy, but that's my opinion. I totally agree that guys who rape and look at women as objects should be castrated. There are too many rapists who aren't in prison. Hopefully the ones that are there will experience first-hand the horror of rape.
"Join the Cult of Gunn / And Then You'll Be Destined to be a Rock and Roll Star of Epical Proportions!" |
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Dave Noisy
Minister of Chaos
Canada
4496 Posts |
Posted - 01/05/2004 : 19:15:19
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"Remember, sex is like bridge, if you don't have a good partner you'd better have a good hand." - that's great!!
Hey Alicia..my first suggestion to you would be to get the hell out of Mississauga!! You really need some more self-confidence and independence tho..i hope you find a way to accomplish this. Just forcing yourself to be alone is often a good way!
Are you getting anything positive out of this relationship? If not, drop it. You could be missing out on better opportunities...
As for casual sex, most folks who do it get little satisfaction from it. It's an attempt at something meaningful, but there's little there..
To paraphrase Vonnegut: "Sex..you do it, then you're right back where you started.." |
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benji
> Teenager of the Year <
New Zealand
3426 Posts |
Posted - 01/06/2004 : 02:14:18
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i think the problem is that people should never be looking for a long-term relationship.
if they're gunna happen, then they'll come about naturally - without all the pressure associated with either one or both of the parties actively on the scout for a life partner.
i can only speak from personal experience and i can certainly say that i was not looking for a longterm relationship when i met my wife - i was looking for any relationship at that stage.
but it just fell into place over the first 6 months or so we were together...and we were young (22 + 23) and now it feels like the most natural thing in the world.
but i have to agree with people that a large number of guys are fucking jerks.....and i feel it is all to do with priorities.
when guys get their priorities organised into a more feasible and mature order, they begin to act like "real" people......for some people that takes them alot longer than others.... |
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STITCHES
= Cult of Ray =
USA
915 Posts |
Posted - 01/06/2004 : 06:29:27
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quote:
Originally posted by Coldheartofstone
Hey there,
Yep....something very unnerving happened to me yesterday.
Well, first of all...I seem to be going out with a complete jerk, and It is my own fault really because I'm afraid of being alone...but that is besides the point. It occured to me, while we were ....uhh...being intimate(though it's nothing short of just plain animal procreation, minus the passion)that he was watching T.V.and then admitted it after. Givin it was Family Guy, but still... So any thoughts or appropriate bashing would really be appreciated at this moment in time.
my girlfriend and I have been watching the Family Guy DVD's like crazy lately, so of course a few times we've ended up makin' bacon while it's on....but I have the decency to at least pause it so a) I'm not distracted and b) so she doesn't miss anything since I've seen most of the episodes before and she's only seen a few.
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MAMASAYMAMASAMAMACOOSA |
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Cult_Of_Frank
= Black Noise Maker =
Canada
11687 Posts |
Posted - 01/06/2004 : 06:48:13
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ColdHeart - There's not a question in my mind that you should dump him and then pat yourself on the back. I recommend staying single/not going back to market right away - important for everyone to do so.
Crouton - I understand the not being attracted to other women when you're quite smitten/in love/whatever with someone else, but not being attracted and not thinking they're attractive are different things. From my experience I would never take someone back that cheated on me. I'm just not trusting enough anymore, but my hat is tipped to you. That could not have been easy.
Benji - I agree with you about not looking for 'the one' (aka a long-term relationship) right away, but then what am I looking for? Someone who doesn't interest me or excite me or attract me or ...? I'm not trying to cut into your statements, I was just talking about this with a friend last night... that I'm/he's too picky. But how do I shut that off or go ask out girls that don't do anything really for me? I don't see it happening. Sadly, girls that I'm interested in come along very rarely. I'd love to casually date, but I'm just not sure how, exactly...
 "Join the Cult of Frank / And you'll be enlightened" |
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benji
> Teenager of the Year <
New Zealand
3426 Posts |
Posted - 01/06/2004 : 07:19:44
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quote:
Originally posted by Cult_Of_Frank
Benji - I agree with you about not looking for 'the one' (aka a long-term relationship) right away, but then what am I looking for? Someone who doesn't interest me or excite me or attract me or ...? I'm not trying to cut into your statements, I was just talking about this with a friend last night... that I'm/he's too picky. But how do I shut that off or go ask out girls that don't do anything really for me? I don't see it happening. Sadly, girls that I'm interested in come along very rarely. I'd love to casually date, but I'm just not sure how, exactly...
i wasn't for a second implying that anyone should just go for someone for the hell of it and decide later if it was a good idea.
and i have an unnatural aversion to casual dating - i think it is a bad thing....maybe cause i could never find someone to have one with....
i was more referring to people who go around in a blind panic certain that if they do not find their lifepartner this week, they're going to be alone for the rest of their lives.
i knew a fair few of these people, and it really saddens me because i feel that ultimately, their mindset is only going to hinder their chances of success.
and it's good to be picky - it's the rest of your life you're talking about here.....but everyone knows how unreliable first impressions are. |
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Owen
- FB Fan -
USA
165 Posts |
Posted - 01/06/2004 : 07:22:39
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| Don't give up on your boy toy now! He's one small step away from the coveted Costanza Trifecta. |
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