| Author |
 Topic  |
|
|
Little Black Francis
> Teenager of the Year <
3648 Posts |
 Posted - 10/27/2003 : 01:04:25
|
People here are good citizens.
Please don't hurt me anymore, k?
-------------------------
ain't it funny how the goes |
|
|
the swimmer
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1602 Posts |
Posted - 10/27/2003 : 07:07:13
|
As a good citizen, I really must say that you need to seriously look at your life and get some help.
Drugs and alcohol though fun in certain situations can only compound and enhance and MULTIPLY your seemingly endless laundry list of problems, least of which is your tremendous low self esteem.
If you want to see the depths of your self esteem...keep embibing in the drugs and alcohol to "numb" your pain.
Also keep posting "No one likes me" and you know what will happen? Correct...no one WILL like you.
You need to relax and take a big juicy bite of your problems. Taste how the blood is almost copper tasting. You have to be real and drugs and alcohol are not real. They are an escape.
But do you know what happens if you have a sore on your leg and you just keep taking medicine to make it feel better?
It might feel better but it won't heal. It will increase in size and the hole will become deeper and the wound will become infected with dirt and it will soon take over your leg.
After that, your leg will need to be amputated or the poison created will travel to your heat and kill you dead.
And you don't want to be dead, LBF. I know you don't because you keep using this forum as a cry for help. Don't worry about it. If this is your only outlet then at least you share some things with the people here. We'll (I'll) listen to you, but I won't sympathize and say you are right. I will tell you that you sound like you need to get that wound dressed and cleaned out so it can heal, dude.
Your ranting, incoherent posts are not cute (like floops). They are from someone who is not well. And by god, if you hate me or think I am rude for pointing this out, so be it. At least I laid it on the line for you and tried to point you in the direction of having less pain in your life.
You'll never be pain free. Ever. No one is because we are human. Unless we were in "heaven"...a state of completely no pain, we will always have it.
That's why people (me included) find some way to OCCASIONALLY nullify that pain a little bit with some Marijuana or some scotch whiskey. But you can't live that way and you can't let that affect how you live.
And relationships ebb and flow. You can't have a good relationship if the feeling of being seperated from that person is so PAINFUL and UNEQUAL that it causes you to be in a state like this. "Loving" someone like that is an obsession not a relationship. A relationship is equal or should be. You should respect someone as an individual before you LOVE them. When you see someone as an individual, you know they have their own agenda, their own life and their own likes and dislikes and if that equation doesn't include you sometimes, you move on and there is no harm and no foul.
I know you think "oh yeah, easy for him to say" but it is easy once you understand it and if you haven't even entertained the thought, I am trying to introduce it to you. You have to be able to live your life alone, but you don't have to live it alone!
Be self sufficient and love yourself and be happy or else you can't attract that in your life. But once you are, once you feel good honestly and sincerely, you won't be able to NOT attract that in your life in the form of whatever you want it to be, love, friendship, goodness.
I have experimented and I have lived both sides of the coin. I am 10 years older than you as well so I have fucked up for 10 more years of my life than you have.
Just from someone on the board who knows how hard it can be and maybe found an answer that worked I am telling you. Think about it. Get better. |
 |
|
|
Cult_Of_Frank
= Black Noise Maker =
Canada
11690 Posts |
Posted - 10/27/2003 : 07:26:22
|
5-star advice, Jason. I hope you see it that way too, Andy, and not as a personal attack or anything. I think it's clear that he's trying to help and I hope you know that we all would like to see you start to enjoy your life.
 "Join the Cult of Frank / And you'll be enlightened" |
|
|
|
realmeanmotorscutor
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1764 Posts |
Posted - 10/27/2003 : 07:26:32
|
Thanks for writing all that out Swimmer. I'm not quite sure what to make of a few of your posts LBF but clearly, as is shown by this post, people here are listening. The Swimmer doesn't put up with people's crap (no offense swimmer) but even he's been moved to respond sincerely; consider that before giving up all hope and consider it before thinking people are hurting you.
Semper ubi sub ubi. |
|
|
|
glacial906
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1738 Posts |
Posted - 10/27/2003 : 07:34:25
|
Damn! I didn't know swimmer was so friggin' old! (Just kidding)
Seriously, LBF, I have thought about you and wondered if you really meant half the things you've said in your posts. But, swimmer's words go for me too, and props to him for writing all that out. We'll be there for ya, man! |
|
|
|
the swimmer
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1602 Posts |
Posted - 10/27/2003 : 07:43:52
|
Shit, is 31 that old?
I guess it is. No 17 year old girls even look at me anymore. 
I believe the above post o' mine is good advice for anyone. |
|
|
|
glacial906
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1738 Posts |
Posted - 10/27/2003 : 07:53:23
|
31?
I remember reading in one of his posts that LBF was born in like, 1977, a couple of years before me, and that would make him about 27 or so. If you were 10 years older, that'd make you almost 40.
Actually my definition of "old" just keeps going up and up. Used to, 24 would've seemed old, but now that I am that age 30 doesn't seem old at all. I will be almost that age when my daughter starts to kindergarten. By the time I'm 27 or 28, I doubt mid-thirties would seem old either.
No, 31 to me is not old, just figured wrong, I guess. Maybe LBF's younger than that. |
|
|
|
the swimmer
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1602 Posts |
Posted - 10/27/2003 : 07:59:40
|
Yeah I thought you were 21, LBF, maybe I was wrong.
Advice still works though.
|
|
|
|
blarg007
= Cult of Ray =
USA
493 Posts |
Posted - 10/27/2003 : 08:35:53
|
quote:
Originally posted by the swimmer
As a good citizen, I really must say that you need to seriously look at your life and get some help.
Drugs and alcohol though fun in certain situations can only compound and enhance and MULTIPLY your seemingly endless laundry list of problems, least of which is your tremendous low self esteem.
If you want to see the depths of your self esteem...keep embibing in the drugs and alcohol to "numb" your pain.
Also keep posting "No one likes me" and you know what will happen? Correct...no one WILL like you.
You need to relax and take a big juicy bite of your problems. Taste how the blood is almost copper tasting. You have to be real and drugs and alcohol are not real. They are an escape.
But do you know what happens if you have a sore on your leg and you just keep taking medicine to make it feel better?
It might feel better but it won't heal. It will increase in size and the hole will become deeper and the wound will become infected with dirt and it will soon take over your leg.
After that, your leg will need to be amputated or the poison created will travel to your heat and kill you dead.
And you don't want to be dead, LBF. I know you don't because you keep using this forum as a cry for help. Don't worry about it. If this is your only outlet then at least you share some things with the people here. We'll (I'll) listen to you, but I won't sympathize and say you are right. I will tell you that you sound like you need to get that wound dressed and cleaned out so it can heal, dude.
Your ranting, incoherent posts are not cute (like floops). They are from someone who is not well. And by god, if you hate me or think I am rude for pointing this out, so be it. At least I laid it on the line for you and tried to point you in the direction of having less pain in your life.
You'll never be pain free. Ever. No one is because we are human. Unless we were in "heaven"...a state of completely no pain, we will always have it.
That's why people (me included) find some way to OCCASIONALLY nullify that pain a little bit with some Marijuana or some scotch whiskey. But you can't live that way and you can't let that affect how you live.
And relationships ebb and flow. You can't have a good relationship if the feeling of being seperated from that person is so PAINFUL and UNEQUAL that it causes you to be in a state like this. "Loving" someone like that is an obsession not a relationship. A relationship is equal or should be. You should respect someone as an individual before you LOVE them. When you see someone as an individual, you know they have their own agenda, their own life and their own likes and dislikes and if that equation doesn't include you sometimes, you move on and there is no harm and no foul.
I know you think "oh yeah, easy for him to say" but it is easy once you understand it and if you haven't even entertained the thought, I am trying to introduce it to you. You have to be able to live your life alone, but you don't have to live it alone!
Be self sufficient and love yourself and be happy or else you can't attract that in your life. But once you are, once you feel good honestly and sincerely, you won't be able to NOT attract that in your life in the form of whatever you want it to be, love, friendship, goodness.
I have experimented and I have lived both sides of the coin. I am 10 years older than you as well so I have fucked up for 10 more years of my life than you have.
Just from someone on the board who knows how hard it can be and maybe found an answer that worked I am telling you. Think about it. Get better.
excellent advice -dare i mention 12 step? if addiction/alcoholism
is the case even scientifically it has proven to be the best to
cleanse as it addresses the emotional aspect of addictive/medicative
problems and has proven to work -AA (alcoholics anonymous)=12 step
program -at least go to a couple meetings LBF if something pertaining
to this area is the case -forget the other "" 12 step programs, a good
healthy dose of the original will open your eyes as you will be in the
same room as every other type of addictive perpretrator baring his or her soul and therein lies the power of the 12 step.
r |
|
|
|
guy_nolan
= Cult of Ray =
United Kingdom
417 Posts |
Posted - 10/27/2003 : 09:04:28
|
Free the weed, ban the beer, too many hang overs and aggressive feelings. Too expensive too.
Give 1000 monkey's 1000 typewriters and you're gonna be reading bullshit for the rest of your life. |
|
|
|
your mamas a pretty thing
- FB Fan -
Canada
66 Posts |
Posted - 10/27/2003 : 09:14:54
|
whoa, Is the swimmer dr. phil?
the snozzberries taste like snozzberries |
|
|
|
the swimmer
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1602 Posts |
Posted - 10/27/2003 : 09:17:16
|
quote:
Originally posted by your mamas a pretty thing
whoa, Is the swimmer dr. phil?
If you mean, my porn name, Dr. Fill. Yes.
I am Dr. Fill. |
|
|
|
blarg007
= Cult of Ray =
USA
493 Posts |
Posted - 10/27/2003 : 09:26:20
|
imagine letterman blasting a little dr. fill every night.
r |
|
|
|
bazza
* Dog in the Sand *
Ireland
1439 Posts |
Posted - 10/27/2003 : 09:42:43
|
when i was an adolescent we used to make up porn star names by using your pets name, followed by your mothers maiden name (i.e. tiger murphy etc). the impetuosness of youth 
Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover. |
|
|
|
floop
= Wannabe Volunteer =
Mexico
15297 Posts |
Posted - 10/27/2003 : 10:08:10
|
i wanted to say something too, but didn't really think it was my place.
but i think Swimmer's comments are right on the money.. if things are the way you make them sound, getting some "help" is not a bad idea. if anything, just go and talk to someone..
going through rough times is one thing, but this constant day-in and day-out self-abuse and dispair isn't healthy.. i don't really know what's going on, and it's none of my business, but i agree with everything swimmer has said here..
get yourself good again..
mijn vriendin kan geen orgasme krijgen |
|
|
|
Carolynanna
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Canada
6556 Posts |
Posted - 10/27/2003 : 10:12:25
|
| Agreed, but LBF you actually have to do it and that's the hardest part. Actually going to the doc or making an appt etc.... Don't wait though, its especially hard if you feel ok one day and you're like 'well its not so bad, I'll wait' then you feel like crap again. Just do it, just go. |
|
|
|
apl4eris
~ Abstract Brain ~
USA
4800 Posts |
Posted - 10/27/2003 : 10:36:21
|
quote:
Originally posted by blarg007
... and therein lies the power of the 12 step. r
hmm...I'm personally not a fan of the 12-step program, though I know that for many it is better than nothing. From what I've seen when good friends or family have gone through it, and from what I've heard in interviews with members, etc., I feel that it just replaces one crutch with another - you can get through with some soul-searching and serious thinking, family and friends, and music and art.
LBF, I'm sorry to hear about your breakup. I had one relationship that reached such epic proportions of drama and sadism that I didn't know if I'd make it through sane and alive. Well, I'm alive at least. Lately I've been there for my Dad as he's going through a second divorce after 20 years of marriage to my step-mother. He was such a family man that he ended up never doing anything on his own, not really any friends or close family to go to, and all my siblings are too young to be able to help him through this. It's been pretty frustrating, because he's been fixated on feeling sorry for himself, but just recently he has taken my advice and he is going to a divorce support group even though he didn't want to. Yesterday he finally realized that he was being drowned by his own shame and self-pity, now he can move forward, like "Fuck that! I gotta live!". ;)
It'll take time - until then you just accept your sorrow and shame and all the other stuff that's gonna come your way, remind yourself that life is about way more than some girl who doesn't know yet how to treat somebody right (including herself), and that you have a lot of important things to do. One little step after another, you put time and distance between who you are and who you were when you obsessed about some relationship - that era in time will almost seem foreign. And you will be a wiser and deeper person for the experience. Please listen to some old Blues - you'll start nodding your head - hell, you've even got FB's new record to cry along to! The thing about good blues/rock-n-roll/soul music, is that it's all about hurt, but there's some humor in it too - you gotta smile that crooked smile knowingly, and once that happens, you know you're on your way to recovery.
Oh, and watch out - she'll show up when you're just about over her - it's the law of ex'es. It's life's little twisted test to see if your scar is healing right. I understand the drinking and all that - just watch it ok? You're worth more than killing your brain cells and internal organs over some girl that hasn't got the brains or the class to know what she's missing. :) |
|
|
|
floop
= Wannabe Volunteer =
Mexico
15297 Posts |
Posted - 10/27/2003 : 10:42:58
|
a good friend of mine recently fell in love and got engaged.. very quickly. a little too quickly i thought, but i was supportive and happy for him. now, a month later, they're calling it off..
sometimes i think relationships are just this unpredictable circus of absurdity and confusion..
and in a way, that's comforting..
mijn vriendin kan geen orgasme krijgen |
|
|
|
blarg007
= Cult of Ray =
USA
493 Posts |
Posted - 10/27/2003 : 11:22:24
|
wasn't a fan of twelve step until i heard a lecture from a woman working on the front lines who sees ALL the hardcores in every imaginable predicament of addiction from you name it
-she is like the addiction specialist at this hospital in Chicago and after a few of the stories the history of it came up in relation to how some drugs like cocaine in crack form aren't necessarilly hard to kick as say heroin or even percodan BUT it has a serious MENTAL
or EMOTIONAL draw which is hard for the person to shake -and chemical treatment doesn't always
work and creates it's own problems -therapy is laughed at by 12 steppers who have made it work
-therapy CAN work -IF the therapist is worth his or her salt.
but therapy is costly and it can take years and figure that out.
this woman was extremely cutting edge on what's out there today and she spoke of how even today there is no denying the consistency of it's working if applied -a few have done studies and concluded that it is this direct connection with other humans in a basically group therapy format that does work better than anything else that modern man has known yet.
-went to some wicker park meetings since than to check it out (i'm not much of a drinker
-but hey i am a drinker so what the hell)and all i can say is it is extremely powerful stuff
-and i can see that it really works for people who want it.
a lot of people go into it and back right out again and again
-i heard a few of those stories as they had finally 'gotten it'
and came in to it solid after years.
it apparrantly seems like a 'rulebook' that you 'brainwash' yourself
with at first -it's not a crutch -it is a fellowship with 12 things
to learn and possibly abide to -studies were done with non-addicted/
alcoholics and actual a/a's and they all came way out ahead in the end
apparantly -it's like trying to leatrn how to be good and not labeling
it in some religious way (the reference to 'god' in some of the material is open ended and really it is up to the individual to give themselves to their higher power. what i've experienced is that the higher power is coalesced when the people are in the room together
and it works. if you ask me it was just goddamn powerful, and a correct society would have this as a natural part of the day for
averybody -for as long as needed per day.
i don't think it could have been around for so long and copied so much if it were some temporary junk cure.
-highly recommended -finding the right meeting is the key.
r |
Edited by - blarg007 on 10/27/2003 11:35:07 |
|
|
|
rockathon
- FB Fan -
241 Posts |
Posted - 10/27/2003 : 11:29:33
|
| anyone read David Foster Wallace's Infinite Jest? |
|
|
|
the swimmer
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1602 Posts |
Posted - 10/27/2003 : 11:45:29
|
I don't know jack about religion or 12 step programs.
All I know is you need to help yourself. |
|
|
|
Little Black Francis
> Teenager of the Year <
3648 Posts |
Posted - 10/27/2003 : 11:48:38
|
I just woke up.
Swimmer, thank you for your time for me. I can't even respond right now.
i read everything everyone had to say...
For the record, my birthday is in a few weeks, I'll be 27. I have been to rehab once and stayed sober for almost 3 years, using the 12 steps everyday.
I have been drinking again for... 6 seasons, alsmost a year and a half.
I need help I know.
I don't want to hurt my parent's though. My dad would not make it through another rehab battle. Plus I can't afford it. My health insurance is already 600$ a month because of that trip.
When I was in there I learned how to detox myself. I guess I should do that or else I'll end up alone, despised, fucked up, and not of this earth.
Thank you for caring everybody... internet love and hugs all around
I just want to be cute like Floop
-------------------------
ain't it funny how the goes |
|
|
|
the swimmer
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1602 Posts |
Posted - 10/27/2003 : 11:51:45
|
quote:
Originally posted by Little Black Francis
Swimmer, thank you for your time for me.
I just want to be cute like Floop
Youre welcome if you heed my advice and also You can't be cute as Floop.
Sorry. That's the only thing you CAN'T do though.
Get better, stop being such a hard on on yourself and get addicted to Swiss Cake Rolls instead of Alcyhol. People love fat people more than drunks. |
|
|
|
apl4eris
~ Abstract Brain ~
USA
4800 Posts |
Posted - 10/27/2003 : 11:59:16
|
quote:
Originally posted by Little Black Francis
When I was in there I learned how to detox myself. I guess I should do that or else I'll end up alone, despised, fucked up, and not of this earth.
Thank you for caring everybody... internet love and hugs all around
I just want to be cute like Floop
-------------------------
ain't it funny how the goes
Hugs back atcha LBF - please do get help - there should be free support services in your area, or at least let your friends and or family know so that they can be supportive. It's better to let your loved ones know than to be ashamed and keep it a secret. Your Dad is not served well not knowing what you're going through - you would want to know and be able to be there for him if he were not well, right? I am sorry if I am giving poor advice, but this is all the wisdom I've got - just take it with a grain of salt, I'm sure you know what's right deep down in your soul.
Something about that "I just want to be cute like Floop" reminds me of that song in the animated movie "The Jungle Book", with the bear and something about I wanna be like you-oo-oo.... man, I think I'm still sick...hee hee! |
|
|
|
blarg007
= Cult of Ray =
USA
493 Posts |
Posted - 10/27/2003 : 12:25:08
|
quote:
Originally posted by the swimmer
I don't know jack about religion or 12 step programs.
All I know is you need to help yourself.
the thing that makes this chat space cool
-is related to what can make a twelve step work:
-connection with people of like mind with similar predicaments
(well this isn't a predicament but it could be if the boss cracked down on worktime usage)
for me it seems simple and yet i can see that it's extremely hard
to get it -for anyone -this is a sublimation of interaction
or a social arena -12 step is really just a social arena specifically
for people who have a big problem moderating substances. and it seems to work.
-what's so wierd about that?
r |
|
|
|
apl4eris
~ Abstract Brain ~
USA
4800 Posts |
Posted - 10/27/2003 : 12:34:34
|
I don't agree with a lot of things that get put into the mix withh AA, NA, and 12-step, like the religious subtext, and the supposition that you can't be responsible for yourself, that you have to leave the problem to, and look to, a higher power for the solution. I'm not saying I do or don't believe in a "higher power", but I don't like the way it's addressed in this case.
I will shut up now, because to each his own, and I don't want to be negative here. Like I said before, I know it works (gets people off drugs/alcohol) for a lot of people, so that means a lot more than my feelings about it. |
|
|
|
blarg007
= Cult of Ray =
USA
493 Posts |
Posted - 10/27/2003 : 12:56:07
|
the first thing they tell you is basically ignore religious subtext
-that is a legacy to the original form -kind of like the pledge of allegiance to the U.S.
...what's NA? ..let me guess: Narcotics anonymous. i guess the heyday of the evolving 12 step
will be around for a long time as that woman did point out that because of the success
and longevity of the original -many programs even ones that charge some dough, basically
use this program in a modified form -and since it does work i think it will continue to
work as the people that go to the original are people from EVERY walk of life.
and that can be humbling, enriching etc. to experience.
r |
|
|
| |
Topic |
|
Topic Locked
