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The King Of Karaoke
> Teenager of the Year <
USA
3759 Posts |
 Posted - 09/18/2004 : 15:06:12
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GREAT RESUME! PLEASE CONSIDER FOR OUR NEXT ELECTION!
This individual seeks an executive position. He will be available next
January, and is willing to relocate.
RESUME
GEORGE W. BUSH
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20520
EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:
Law Enforcement:
I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the
influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been "lost" and is not available.
Military:
I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a
drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.
College:
I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was deeply
involved in sports. I was a cheerleader.
PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
I ran for U.S. Congress and lost. I began my career in the oil business
in Midland, Texas, in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock. I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money. With the help of my father and our friends in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas.
ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS:
I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies,
making Texas the most polluted state in the Union. During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America.
I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions
in borrowed money.
I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American
history.
With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my father's
appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President after losing by over 500,000 votes.
ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:
I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a
criminal record.
I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one
billion dollars per week.
I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.
I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.
I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any
12-month period.
I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.
I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the
U.S.
stock market. In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues every month.
I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any
administration in U.S. history. My "poorest millionaire," Condoleeza Rice, had a Chevron oil tanker named after her.
I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S.
President.
I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most
corporate campaign donations.
My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends,
Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. History, Enron.
My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to
assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision.
I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against
investigation or prosecution. More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs in history. I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.
I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.
I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded
government contracts.
I appointed more convicted criminals to administration positions than
any President in U.S. history.
I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy
in the history of the United States government. I am really proud that Montana and Idaho will be well-protected.
I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S.
history.
I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations
remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.
I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.
I refused to allow inspector's access to U.S. "prisoners of war"
detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.
I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election
inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election).
I set the record for fewest numbers of press conferences of any
President since the advent of television.
I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year
period. After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history.
I garnered the most sympathy ever for the U.S. after the World Trade
Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.
I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to
simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for protests against any person in the history of mankind.
I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked,
pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. citizens, and the world community.
I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in
duty benefits for active duty troops and their families in wartime.
In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for
attacking Iraq and then blamed the lies on our British friends.
I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans
(71%)
view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.
I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a
WMD.
I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden to
justice.
RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's
library, sealed and unavailable for public view.
All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my
bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President,
attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.
PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004!
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 09/18/2004 : 15:11:35
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You are obsessed KoK!
_________________________________________________________
Live every day as if it were your last. Eventually you'll be right
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ShakeyShake
* Dog in the Sand *
United Kingdom
1058 Posts |
Posted - 09/18/2004 : 15:37:39
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Anybody would think you don't like the guy
"I joined the Cult of this guy / 'cause they took my other picture away |
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LUTINS
- FB Fan -
France
182 Posts |
Posted - 09/18/2004 : 15:55:05
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"you fucking die !" you known
union pour la propulsion de la promotion photonique pixienne |
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apl4eris
~ Abstract Brain ~
USA
4800 Posts |
Posted - 09/18/2004 : 16:06:36
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I'm not sure if this is a record, but James A. Baker III serves as an advisor to the 2004 Bush campaign. Baker also presided over the Florida elections recount in 2000.
He is also the Defense Attorney representing the Saudis in a lawsuit filed against Saudi Arabia by the Families of the 9/11 Victims.
Nice. |
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VoVat
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
USA
9168 Posts |
Posted - 09/18/2004 : 17:19:01
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That really isn't presented much in the form of a résumé, except for the very beginning.
"Signature quotes are so lame." --Nathan |
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slaveish
= Cult of Ray =
USA
269 Posts |
Posted - 09/18/2004 : 20:25:02
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| I've seen this before, but keep up the posts! No amount of information on Bush is enough. Some would call it Bush-bashing, but I say the truth speaks for itself. |
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Domestiques
= Cult of Ray =
United Kingdom
503 Posts |
Posted - 09/18/2004 : 22:55:21
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sorry Im a brit, but this bush fella, is he off friends or "the family" or something?
------------------------
“I want to be a star!” I cried
They said, “You’re overqualified.
Why don’t you learn to tune your damn guitar?” |
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kathryn
~ Selkie Bride ~
Belgium
15320 Posts |
Posted - 09/26/2004 : 06:41:12
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quote:
Originally posted by Homers_pet_monkey
You are obsessed KoK!
A lot of us are obsessed. This guy is dangerous.
 I still believe in the excellent joy of the Frank |
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n/a
deleted
4894 Posts |
Posted - 09/26/2004 : 07:11:30
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he's a total loony tune, Bush, not KoK
the room smelled like cupids gym
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bumblebeeboy2
> Teenager of the Year <
United Kingdom
2638 Posts |
Posted - 09/26/2004 : 08:54:15
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i think KOK *is* George Bush, this constant knocking is just a ploy to prevent us from discovering his true identity!
Go go the average man! What are you looking for average man? The ain't nothing average about me man! |
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Daisy Girl
~ Abstract Brain ~
Belize
5305 Posts |
Posted - 09/26/2004 : 10:10:26
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| Well I wish Bush was a Pixies/FB&TC's fan on this forum... he would at least be a little more cool. He'd probably be so addcited to the forum it would save us many other bad/corrupt decision making because he just wouldn't have time for it. |
Edited by - Daisy Girl on 09/26/2004 10:13:18 |
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bumblebeeboy2
> Teenager of the Year <
United Kingdom
2638 Posts |
Posted - 09/26/2004 : 10:15:30
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i don't believe for a minute he does make many decisions himself... that's what he's got his dad's old crew for...
Go go the average man! What are you looking for average man? The ain't nothing average about me man! |
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kathryn
~ Selkie Bride ~
Belgium
15320 Posts |
Posted - 09/26/2004 : 11:28:44
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quote:
Originally posted by bumblebeeboy2
i don't believe for a minute he does make many decisions himself... that's what he's got his dad's old crew for...
Go go the average man! What are you looking for average man? The ain't nothing average about me man!
I used to think that. I've changed my mind. It's best not to underestimate dangerous people. Have you seen the movie
"Journeys with George"?
I still believe in the excellent joy of the Frank |
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Topic |
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WHAT IT (EVIDENTLY) TAKES TO RULE THE WORLD!
