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Cult_Of_Frank
= Black Noise Maker =
Canada
11687 Posts |
 Posted - 09/30/2004 : 08:59:16
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My sister told me this one the other day:
A guy is speeding along the highway when suddenly he finds an RCMP cruiser with its lights on behind him. The officer pulls him over and comes up to the car.
"License and registration please?"
"OK, sure, here's my license, but I want to let you know when you put it through that the outstanding warrants on there have been settled already. Oh, and my registration is in the glovebox, but before I get it, don't be alarmed about the gun in there." The officer is visibly nervous and unsure what to do with this guy, and the man pulled over notices him glance at the back seat. "If you want to go through my car, of course, feel free, but I just want to make sure you're not going to arrest me for the large amount of drugs in my trunk."
At this, the officer tells him to wait in the car and runs back to his cruiser, calling for backup. 5 minutes later, there are 8 cruisers and the SWAT team arrives. They search the car and find no gun, no drugs, and that the man's record is absolutely spotless. The head of the SWAT team says to the man, "I don't understand. The officer said you have outstanding warrants, a trunk full of drugs, and were armed."
"Oh, sure," replies the man indignantly. "I bet he told you I was speeding, too!"
 "Join the Cult of Frank 2.0 / And you'll be enlightened (free for 1.x members)" |
Edited by - Cult_Of_Frank on 09/30/2004 10:20:39 |
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Cult_Of_Frank
= Black Noise Maker =
Canada
11687 Posts |
Posted - 09/30/2004 : 10:20:54
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OK, so maybe it's only funny to me.
"Join the Cult of Frank 2.0 / And you'll be enlightened (free for 1.x members)" |
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n/a
deleted
4894 Posts |
Posted - 09/30/2004 : 10:23:46
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it's clever... but not funny
bless you for trying though, bless
*scruffs hair*
I look like the kind of guy who pimps his sister not just for the money, but because he hates her
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Carolynanna
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Canada
6556 Posts |
Posted - 09/30/2004 : 10:24:43
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Its kinda funny,
but I heard it before.
__________
"The things that will destroy us are: politics without principle; pleasure without conscience; wealth without work; knowledge without character; business without morality; science without humanity,
and worship without sacrifice." |
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Cult_Of_Frank
= Black Noise Maker =
Canada
11687 Posts |
Posted - 09/30/2004 : 10:28:31
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I haven't had my hair scruffed in a long time, thanks Tre! :P
"Join the Cult of Frank 2.0 / And you'll be enlightened (free for 1.x members)" |
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Carolynanna
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Canada
6556 Posts |
Posted - 10/01/2004 : 08:25:07
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This columnist is a little riskay,
here's his joke for today;
A sex researcher phones a participant in a recent survey to check on a discrepancy.
He asks the man, "In response to the question on frequency of intercourse, you answered 'Twice weekly.' Your wife, on the other hand, answered 'Several times a night.' "
"That's right," growled the husband. "And that's how it'll stay until our second mortgage is paid off."
__________
"The things that will destroy us are: politics without principle; pleasure without conscience; wealth without work; knowledge without character; business without morality; science without humanity,
and worship without sacrifice." |
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Cult_Of_Frank
= Black Noise Maker =
Canada
11687 Posts |
Posted - 10/01/2004 : 10:01:51
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It's risky to spell risque as riskay.
"Join the Cult of Frank 2.0 / And you'll be enlightened (free for 1.x members)" |
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Carolynanna
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Canada
6556 Posts |
Posted - 10/01/2004 : 10:03:55
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I was too lazy to find the aigu thingy...
__________
"The things that will destroy us are: politics without principle; pleasure without conscience; wealth without work; knowledge without character; business without morality; science without humanity,
and worship without sacrifice." |
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n/a
deleted
4894 Posts |
Posted - 10/01/2004 : 10:04:26
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how do I spell pedantic mr scruffed hair ( )
I look like the kind of guy who pimps his sister not just for the money, but because he hates her
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Carolynanna
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Canada
6556 Posts |
Posted - 10/01/2004 : 10:09:38
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I think you got it right Tre. ;)
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"The things that will destroy us are: politics without principle; pleasure without conscience; wealth without work; knowledge without character; business without morality; science without humanity,
and worship without sacrifice." |
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PsychicTwin
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1772 Posts |
Posted - 10/01/2004 : 10:43:10
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I posted this on the "Jokes" thread, but thought I'd share it here too. It's a bit twisted but funny nonetheless:
A young boy is playing around in a constructions site, as young boys are prone to do, and he comes across a welder's mask. He thinks its really cool, and puts it on. As he's walking home with his new welder's mask on, an old man in a car stops beside him on the side of the road. By now it's close to sundown, and the man offers him a ride. "Its not safe for a kid your age to be walking down the side of the road at sundwon. I'll give you a ride, hop in."
The little boy gets in the car, all the while still wearing his welder's mask. As they're driving along, the man starts asking him some very unusual questions.
"Hey kid, do you know what coitus is?"
The kid looks at him with confusion, and shrugs. There is a pause, and the man continues.
"Hey kid, do you know what fellatio is?"
The kid shrugs again, shaking his head. "Nope."
The man waits for a minute or two, and then asks
"Hey kid, do you know what sodomy is?"
The kid, obviously annoyed and aggravated by this point, tears the welder's mask from his head, and says "Listen man, I'm not really a welder!!" |
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 10/02/2004 : 15:27:04
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quote:
Originally posted by PsychicTwin
I posted this on the "Jokes" thread, but thought I'd share it here too.
The kid, obviously annoyed and aggravated by this point, tears the welder's mask from his head, and says "Listen man, I'm not really a welder!!"
Well there shouldn't be an alternative place to post it!
Damn you Carolynanna, damn you to strawberry hell!
Help me! He keeps making me post!
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n/a
deleted
4894 Posts |
Posted - 10/02/2004 : 16:23:02
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don't worry too much carolynanna, tre has discovered the strawberries are easy to thwart so you can be scornfull worry free
I look like the kind of guy who pimps his sister not just for the money, but because he hates her
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 10/02/2004 : 18:04:15
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The end of the alotment is nigh!
Help me! He keeps making me post!
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Carolynanna
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Canada
6556 Posts |
Posted - 10/04/2004 : 10:33:34
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I'll just eat'em with whip cream, hah!
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"The things that will destroy us are: politics without principle; pleasure without conscience; wealth without work; knowledge without character; business without morality; science without humanity,
and worship without sacrifice." |
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TarTar
* Dog in the Sand *
1965 Posts |
Posted - 10/04/2004 : 16:09:33
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Gypsy Death said: quote:
The ant joke sucks
I know, it's very sophomoric, but for some reason, the imagery of it really cracks me up.
Inna zany combination of Wayne's Pet Youngin'! |
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Funny?
