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apl4eris
~ Abstract Brain ~
USA
4800 Posts |
 Posted - 08/25/2004 : 08:14:58
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This really tickled me, so I had to share. From my copy of Harper's Magazine this month:
The following requests were submitted to "Songs To Wear Pants To", a website that creates made-to-order songs.
"If there were a character in a Broadway musical who gets suspended upside down above a shark tank and is forced under penalty of death to summarize the whole of world history in less than one minute and eleven seconds, I was just wondering what that would sound like.
Write a song about my wife, Freya, and how she always lies. When she relates stories I've told her, she always throws things in there I never said. It shoud be in her most hated genre, teen angst rock.
[for Cheeseman?] please make a song about cheese and how it is really good but sometimes too hot, so hot that it can burn the top of your mouth off!
Coud you please make a Christmas song about falling down the stairs using only words that start with "P", "M", "B", and "S"? And maybe "E", too. Thanks!
I think you should write a song about a man ordering a burrito and being extremely intimidated by the size of it. The music should be Celtic techno, or any other blend of two genres that would not be caught eating a burrito together.
[for Tre?] you should write a little love song with male and female vocals, both of which you should sing. the premise of this song being that girl loves boy because he knows how much milk and sugar she likes in her coffee. and boy loves girl because she likes zombies.
you should make a song about how awesome Superdeer is.
A song entirely composed of vowels. Aaaaeeeeiiiiiiiiiooooouuuuuuusometimesy. Either one long howl, or a death metal growl, or short staccato bursts of vowelness. Than, at the end, yell VOWELTACULAR!"
Make a song about baking. Possibly the process of making cupcakes? Yes. Mention something about pink frosting 30 seconds into the song. Please use a bongo to create the song, and if not a bongo then just bang on a pan. Since a song about just baking would be boring, also talk about smelly shoes!
I'm from Germany and would love to hear a song in German. If you don't speak any German just sing some gibberish that sounds like German. But you should use the words "Vorsprung durch Technik", maybe to some smooth piano sounds.
[for Bassist Kim?] I think you should create a song about badgers. There should be a background beat of someone repeating the word "badger" quite fast, an occassional mention of the word "mushroom", and something about a snake in there somewhere.
..." More excerpts later...
If you could commission a song about anything, in any style, for any occassion, what would you ask for?
[edit] added some more
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Edited by - apl4eris on 08/25/2004 08:24:15 |
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Carolynanna
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Canada
6556 Posts |
Posted - 08/25/2004 : 08:54:19
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The song about baking should be in one of those death metal voices, now that would be funny. Sift the flllloooooooouuuuuurrrrr!
______________________________________________________________________________________
"The things that will destroy us are: politics without principle; pleasure without conscience; wealth without work; knowledge without character; business without morality; science without humanity, and worship without sacrifice." |
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soundofataris
= Cult of Ray =
USA
715 Posts |
Posted - 08/25/2004 : 12:00:49
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When I feel like wearing some pants, I pop on black sabbath, crank Iron Man, and sing my own lyrics:
Ozzy's got great pants
Give him some coke and watch him dance
Ozzy's got great pants
Better then Jimmy Page or Robert Plant's
Kerry in a landslide! |
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n/a
deleted
4894 Posts |
Posted - 08/25/2004 : 12:29:33
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A song about a boy who loves a girl because she loves zombies... thats so romantic, unfortunatley my ex never remembered the coffee milk sugar ratio, it wasn't hard either, coffee no milk or sugar. Sigh, I'll write that song as soon as someone loves me again. Or I'll write a song about zombies.
 I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out.
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VoVat
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
USA
9168 Posts |
Posted - 08/25/2004 : 14:35:37
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How much sugar do zombies like in their coffee?
I wish I could write songs.
Cattle in Korea / They can really moo. |
Edited by - VoVat on 08/25/2004 14:36:18 |
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apl4eris
~ Abstract Brain ~
USA
4800 Posts |
Posted - 08/25/2004 : 14:48:44
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It could be argued that everyone is a zombie before they've had their coffee. I know I am, and that should be good enough for Gallup. I take half and half in my cup o' joe, thank you.
As promised, here are some more entires. I'm gonna come up with some of my own here in a few. I ain't got nuthin' better to do.:
"I bet you could write a killer song out of my lame boss! he's a bodybuilder, and he has an album full of pictures of himself from his competing days, and he's in a speedo and it's really disturbing and he shows it to everyone. he uses phrases like "on the juice" and "roid rage" and "carbo load." he eats gross food all the time and always tells me what his body fat percentage is. he blinks WAY TOO MUCH. he says "basically" all the time, when it doesn't even make sense to use it, like ten times in a sentence. no joke."
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Edited by - apl4eris on 08/25/2004 14:49:47 |
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n/a
deleted
4894 Posts |
Posted - 08/25/2004 : 14:54:17
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When I was in my first band when I was oh so young (we didn't do anything we just called ourselves a band) we did write a few songs, one called nihilistic narcissus, truely awfull
I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out.
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VoVat
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
USA
9168 Posts |
Posted - 08/25/2004 : 15:33:45
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quote:
It could be argued that everyone is a zombie before they've had their coffee.
I don't drink coffee. Does that make me a perpetual zombie? Or is it only people who are addicted to coffee but don't get it who become zombified?
Cattle in Korea / They can really moo. |
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n/a
deleted
4894 Posts |
Posted - 08/25/2004 : 15:39:02
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when you decide let me know, I love zombies, if you are a perpetual zombie I love you and want to be your groupie, if you are not a zombie then vovat schmovat
I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out.
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apl4eris
~ Abstract Brain ~
USA
4800 Posts |
Posted - 08/25/2004 : 16:43:18
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schmovat. hee
Yup, you're probably a zombie, VoVat. At least, according to the latest Gallup poll you are.
While I complete my own, here's more fun with songs idea entries:
"make a song about a polar bear fighting a unicorn, preferably early 80s rap."
"My rabbit has eaten the last of the lettuce in the house and my mother will not go to the market until tomorrow. Please write him a cheering song and mention my name, Sylvia, so he knows that I love him more than my brother. His name is Joe. The brother, not the rabbit. The rabbit's name is Poopie. He is the color of poo."
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n/a
deleted
4894 Posts |
Posted - 08/25/2004 : 16:54:52
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"I'd like a prog rock concept song about interesting things stuck to the pavement, once I saw some gum and it was marbeled yellow and green, I think it was apple hubba bubba and juicy fruit that someone had been chewing and it got me thinking about what kind of person would eat that gum combination and then I saw a worm cut in two"
I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out.
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apl4eris
~ Abstract Brain ~
USA
4800 Posts |
Posted - 08/25/2004 : 18:28:42
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Hey everybody! It looks like this guy actually does it for free!
"This is what you do:
Send me an email (trismic at hotmail dot com) with suggestions for a song's title, lyrics, instrumentation, genre, time/key signature, length (up to 1m:11s) and anything else you can possibly imagine.
Then I make the song (maybe) for all to hear, and hopefully enjoy."
http://www.songstowearpantsto.com/
Let's brainstorm here, people!!
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VoVat
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
USA
9168 Posts |
Posted - 08/25/2004 : 18:44:40
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quote:
Yup, you're probably a zombie, VoVat. At least, according to the latest Gallup poll you are.
I thought you had to die to become a zombie. Oh, well. Live and learn, I guess.
Cattle in Korea / They can really moo. |
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apl4eris
~ Abstract Brain ~
USA
4800 Posts |
Posted - 08/25/2004 : 18:49:15
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Ain't nobody listening to me? You can commission a 1 minute 11 second song about anything for FREE! We need to come up with IDEAS!
sheesh
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TarTar
* Dog in the Sand *
1965 Posts |
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apl4eris
~ Abstract Brain ~
USA
4800 Posts |
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darwin
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
USA
5454 Posts |
Posted - 08/26/2004 : 10:07:34
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The Dead Milkmen have The Badger Song.
Out in the woods
Up to no good
I wanna make friends with the badger
The woodchuck likes me
We smoke PCP
I wanna make friends with the badger
I mean it!
I wanna make friends with the badger
For real!
I wanna make friends with the
Wanna make friends with the
Wanna make friends with the badger
Get drunk with owls
Drop acid with cows
I wanna make friends with the badger
And so on ...... |
Edited by - darwin on 08/26/2004 10:08:25 |
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n/a
deleted
4894 Posts |
Posted - 08/26/2004 : 10:57:05
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I had an idea, things stuck to the street in a prog rock concept song style, it'll be an epic! It'll piss all over bohemian rhaphsody
I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out.
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TarTar
* Dog in the Sand *
1965 Posts |
Posted - 08/26/2004 : 11:03:37
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I wonder what the Dead Milkmen are up to nowadays.
Inna zany combination of Wayne's Pet Youngin'! |
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darwin
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
USA
5454 Posts |
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apl4eris
~ Abstract Brain ~
USA
4800 Posts |
Posted - 08/26/2004 : 11:14:03
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Well, quite sadly, bassist Dave Blood killed himself a few months ago. RIP
They brought my husband and I together.
ahhhhhh! I need cheering up. Here's a rap about a fight between a unicorn and polar bear, with lots of 808.
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apl4eris
~ Abstract Brain ~
USA
4800 Posts |
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n/a
deleted
4894 Posts |
Posted - 08/26/2004 : 11:31:14
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I'm e mailing him about my things stuck to the street song, I'm sure he'll be interested
*sulk*
I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out.
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apl4eris
~ Abstract Brain ~
USA
4800 Posts |
Posted - 08/26/2004 : 11:47:50
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Sweeeeet! Can you tell us what you wrote to him? huh? huh?
I would like a song about multi-headed antipodular beings transmitting communications to other dimensions via facial hair, jewels, and bubbles, and the time-lapsing nature of strange loops in a gem*. In the style of a Bach cannon, with an acrostic of "RICERCAR" in it somewhere. Played with violin and harpsichord.
*Much credit to George Condo.
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apl4eris
~ Abstract Brain ~
USA
4800 Posts |
Posted - 08/26/2004 : 12:09:46
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eheheh. This one reminds me of Butthole Surfers mixed with Aphex Twin. I actually really like it.
SHE DOESN'T KNOW THAT SHE'S IN THE SONG 1:08
MAKE A SONG WITH JEN'S VOICE IN IT BUT MAKE IT SO SHE DOESNT KNOW THAT SHE'S IN THE SONG. LIKE, HAVE HER TALK ABOUT SOMETHING WEIRD OR JUST ORDINARY, BUT IT HAS TO BE SO SHE DOESNT KNOW.
AND THEN PUT IT TO MUSIC.
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VoVat
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
USA
9168 Posts |
Posted - 08/26/2004 : 12:47:48
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How about a song about this forum?
Cattle in Korea / They can really moo. |
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 08/30/2004 : 11:18:22
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quote:
Originally posted by VoVat
How much sugar do zombies like in their coffee?
I wish I could write songs.
Cattle in Korea / They can really moo.
I wish you could finish your jokes.
Come on lad, don't keep us in suspense. How many?
_________________________________________________________
Live every day as if it were your last. Eventually you'll be right
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n/a
deleted
4894 Posts |
Posted - 08/30/2004 : 12:39:46
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Zombies
***sigh***
the room smelled like cupids gym
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Edited by - n/a on 08/30/2004 12:42:31 |
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apl4eris
~ Abstract Brain ~
USA
4800 Posts |
Posted - 08/30/2004 : 14:59:24
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Is that a good movie Tre? I hear there's elf porn in it...
eek
I thought of a good song to ask for:
A drunken friend eating a scorpion on a dare. It tastes like rubber with squishy mushy insides. Have him take a shot of vodka before he puts it in his mouth. Zydeco style, with lots of sandpaper on figs, tamborine, and scary-whispered sing-songy quotes from "Zorba the Greek", please. |
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n/a
deleted
4894 Posts |
Posted - 08/30/2004 : 15:16:28
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how did you know that!
the room smelled like cupids gym
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apl4eris
~ Abstract Brain ~
USA
4800 Posts |
Posted - 08/30/2004 : 15:52:48
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What, the elf porn?
You mean there really is...? |
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n/a
deleted
4894 Posts |
Posted - 08/30/2004 : 16:05:23
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heh, sorta, it's not a film though
the room smelled like cupids gym
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VoVat
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
USA
9168 Posts |
Posted - 09/01/2004 : 19:55:40
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I don't think zombies like sugar in their coffee. Sugar is for the living.
(Why am I now thinking of a Trix commercial? "Silly zombie, Trix are for the living!")
Brick is red, and Hitler's dead. Hang me! |
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Songs to Wear Pants To
