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CaptainMaximus
- FB Fan -
126 Posts |
 Posted - 07/22/2004 : 12:20:35
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Hey, I'm a semi-regular here and you folk seem to be insightful and funny. I'm a freelance writer and I'm working on a new short project about telemarketing. May sound strange, but it's something we've all had to contend with at one time or another, and I'm approaching the subject from a different, humorous (hopefully!) angle, covering not only what is sold and the absurd measures some people will resort to in order to sell it, but how to prevent telemarketers from invading one's privacy.
Any stories or insights? I'm sure we have plenty to bitch about. I'd love to hear what you have to say. |
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apl4eris
~ Abstract Brain ~
USA
4800 Posts |
Posted - 07/22/2004 : 12:29:35
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My father sometimes "pretends"  to be dense/senile/mentally challenged, and keeps the marketer on the phone for a very long time.
Also, if they ask for the woman of the house, he says "Oh, this is she", etc.
I've answered as if they had inadvertantly called a pizza delivery store or Chinese take out, or just mumbled unintelligibly, but it was very hard to keep from showing anger/frustration or laughing my ass off.
I usually would get very angry and tell them I was not interested, before I discovered through interrogation that every company had a do not call list of their own. Tthen I was very polite and would say "Excuse me M'am/Sir, please put me on your do not call list. Done and done. Much easier on everyone involved. |
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 07/22/2004 : 12:30:18
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I just smashed my phone with a hammer, now they never bother me. In fact, NOBODY ever bothers me.
Hmmm, wait a minute.
_________________________________________________________
Live every day as if it were your last. Eventually you'll be right
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Daisy Girl
~ Abstract Brain ~
Belize
5305 Posts |
Posted - 07/22/2004 : 12:38:43
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| It works great if you tell them that you are laid off and you're broke....they hang right up and start dialing someone they hope has actual $$$. They back down pretty easily. Saying, "Please remove me from your calling list" usally works too. |
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GypsyDeath
Zapped Profile
3575 Posts |
Posted - 07/22/2004 : 12:40:34
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actually work in telesales, selling a very expensive rip off female cancer policy.
Say wrong number..that works, or, oh, sorry, shes deceased, hang up right away. Ive loads more replies ive got, ill get back to you on that!
Just thought I'd throw that in there... |
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 07/22/2004 : 12:50:03
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there is always the one where you say "Hold on a minute, I'll just get the person who lives here/my wife etc", then you go off and leave the phone for about ten minutes. When you come back, they have gone.
_________________________________________________________
Live every day as if it were your last. Eventually you'll be right
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GypsyDeath
Zapped Profile
3575 Posts |
Posted - 07/22/2004 : 12:51:55
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I never go. Cis then it means you can sit around not doing any calls for 10 mins, but if supervisors walk past they will think youre working.
Saying hang on - and then putting the phone down...that always works.
Just thought I'd throw that in there... |
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BLT
> Teenager of the Year <
South Sandwich Islands
4204 Posts |
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 07/22/2004 : 13:20:42
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Yeah mine works more for Tele-sales. They won't hang on if they are missing out on potential sales.
_________________________________________________________
Live every day as if it were your last. Eventually you'll be right
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GypsyDeath
Zapped Profile
3575 Posts |
Posted - 07/22/2004 : 13:22:23
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yeah...i work in telesales...im just very bad at my job. haha
Just thought I'd throw that in there... |
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shineoftheever
> Teenager of the Year <
Canada
4307 Posts |
Posted - 07/22/2004 : 13:23:51
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i love the surveys, i never answer truthfully.
always flirt with female telemarketers, they usually get pretty uncomfortable when I ask what they are wearing.
 "Too cool for Cults" |
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Jefery With One F
- FB Fan -
Canada
184 Posts |
Posted - 07/22/2004 : 17:01:10
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quote:
Originally posted by GypsyDeath
actually work in telesales, selling a very expensive rip off female cancer policy.
So, you help cheat cancer patients out of money?
You're a lousy person.
Vote Bush in 2004 |
Edited by - Jefery With One F on 07/22/2004 17:02:27 |
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VoVat
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
USA
9168 Posts |
Posted - 07/22/2004 : 17:44:05
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I usually just hang up, or, if I get to check the Caller ID, don't answer at all.
I have mixed feelings on messing with telemarketers. I've heard some funny stories about it, but, on the other hand, it isn't really the callers themselves you have a problem with. They're usually people who are telemarketing for little money because they can't get better jobs. So I don't know.
Cattle in Korea / They can really moo. |
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BLT
> Teenager of the Year <
South Sandwich Islands
4204 Posts |
Posted - 07/22/2004 : 21:10:49
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quote:
Originally posted by GypsyDeath
...im just very bad at my job...
You're probably hoping that's going to minimize your inevitable bad karma.
But hey, at least you're showing that there's a little a-hole in you. There's a little a-hole in all of us.
Celebrate the a-hole in you. |
Edited by - BLT on 07/22/2004 21:14:06 |
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VoVat
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
USA
9168 Posts |
Posted - 07/22/2004 : 22:45:02
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Yeah, mine's in my butt. How about you?
Cattle in Korea / They can really moo. |
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ramona
"FB Quote Mistress"
USA
3988 Posts |
Posted - 07/23/2004 : 09:17:32
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I also enjoy the wonders of Caller ID. The greatest invention ever! If it says UNAVAILABLE or is a number I don't know, I rarely ever pick up. My dad's partner also has a good method, when they ask for someone by name he says "He's deceased". It is kind of morbid, but it gets you removed from their list.
_____________________________________________________________________
You`re where you want to be, I`m where I want to be
Caught up chasing everything I`ve ever wanted
I replace you easily, replace pathetically,
I flirt with any flighty thing that falls my way.
But how I needed you, when I needed you.
Let`s not forget we are so strong, so bloody strong.
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KimStanleyRobinson
* Dog in the Sand *
1972 Posts |
Posted - 07/23/2004 : 14:47:15
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I heard one once where a guy took a call from a company selling caskets or funeral plots or something.
He got all suicidal on the guy. Its was funny. Probly out there on the net somewhere.
Get really psychotic, go suicidal.
History tailgates. |
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pfeffa
= Cult of Ray =
Aruba
367 Posts |
Posted - 07/23/2004 : 17:02:07
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I just had the WORST experience from a telemarketer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He didn't want to talk to me AT ALL because he was only interested in people with children or grandchildren. I must be scum because I can't reproduce???
Frank's band is better than your band. Sing it. |
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VoVat
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
USA
9168 Posts |
Posted - 07/23/2004 : 17:33:42
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Maybe he was trying to sell you children's products.
Cattle in Korea / They can really moo. |
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ObfuscateByWill
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1887 Posts |
Posted - 07/24/2004 : 00:25:54
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I used to work at a call center.
It was all In-Bound, though. Credit card applications and stuff.
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I only worked the phones a few times. No great stories.
*Shka-pow! You're Dead! |
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ObfuscateByWill
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1887 Posts |
Posted - 07/24/2004 : 00:29:16
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Oh, and to avoid calls I just hang-up in mid-sentence.
"Hey, that sounds like a pretty goo*duuuuuuun*"
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I think, most out-bound centers just have some kinda auto-dialer. Just patches you through to the next victim when a call is terminated.
*Shka-pow! You're Dead! |
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Cheeseman1000
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Iceland
8201 Posts |
Posted - 07/24/2004 : 02:32:05
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I deal with all incoming calls, most of which are pretty dumb, but I can't imagine how horrendously awful it must be to have cold-call people all day every day. That must truly suck. So I have a little sympathy for a couple of minutes unless they annoy me, or call me in the frickin evening. How rude is that?!
I've always wanted to try the Apl4eris/Calvin & Hobbes approach:
Answer the phone "Hi, is this Pizza Hut? I'd like to order a large pepperoni, extra cheese and a coke"
When they get confused I say "Oh sorry, I think you must have got the wrong number."
That would make their day a little more surreal, if nothing else.
Kind regards,
Dr. Simon
Specialist In Broken Hearts |
Edited by - Cheeseman1000 on 07/24/2004 02:33:15 |
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GypsyDeath
Zapped Profile
3575 Posts |
Posted - 07/26/2004 : 07:16:47
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Yes, the place I work is auto dialer, which has this wonderful habit of phoning the same people, again and again again again...until the start screaming down the phone at us...haha.
And I dont heat cancer patients out of their money! technically, its a very good policy, I just know theres cheaper out there, but theres benefits with thsi one that you dont get on the cheaper one, like all of your money back tax free if you dont claim in 15 years, and they get £18000 immediately upon diagnosis, and a load of money each month after that, and loads of stuff!!
I call everyone in the evening. One of my fav conversation
Me "Good evening, could I speak to a Mrs smith Please?"
Mrs S "yes, this is she"
Me"hello Mrs Smith, how are you today?"
Mrs S " who is this?"
"My names melanie, and im calling on behalf of American Life and the Well Woman Plus Plan"
"do you know what time it is?"
"yes, its 8.45"
"thats a bit late isnt it?"
"yeah, tell me about it, im still at work"
"then why the hell are you ringing me at this time?"
"well Im paid to work til 9, so I have to call people..."
"That is absoloutely disrespectful, how dare you call me at this time of night"
" As I said madam, I do not choose what time to call. Im sorry if this has inconvenienced you"
" youve got no respect. Its illegal to call people in the evening anyway, and im ex directory. Im going to report you"
" Im sorry mrs smith, but its not illegal to call people in the evening, other wise a company as credible as American life would not be doing it, Also, ex directory will ONLY stop people taking your number out of the phone book. We get all of our numbers from consumer surveys and data management companies. Its not illegal to call someone who is ex directory..however if you are this opposed to being bothered by telesales, I suggest you get in contact with the TPS..."
"I cant believe it, youre still trying to sell me something? that it, you have no morals, you people are the scum of the earthn invading my privacy at this hour. Whats your number?"
"number?"
"yes, whats your number..you know, what is your reference work number"
"im sorry, i have no idea what youre talking about"
" how dare you you fucking bitch, im gonna report you, what your name? hmm? whats your supervisors name? Im gonna have you fired, you little bitch, you wait you fucking slag.."
"im not paid to listen to this" I put phone down.
By the way, i wasnt trying to still sell her soemthing, TPS is the telephone preferential service, which stops ALL cold caller from calling, and if they do, they personally can get fined. You have to pay like a tenner a month or something though.
Just thought I'd throw that in there... |
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remig
* Dog in the Sand *
France
1734 Posts |
Posted - 07/26/2004 : 07:40:48
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I usually answer survey when I'm at home but it happens very vry few. surveys are funny.
When they want to sell me something, I say "I'm sorry, I know your job is difficult but i don't need anything,bye."
That's all.
The worst thing is when YOU call because your Internet provider or the Cell phone company.
I already wished i could electrify my phone and burn their fucking automatic system ("hold on, a technician is going to answer in about... 50 minutes"), and even sometimes the stupid person on line.
Real story (the digest version):
I once had to change my SIM card in my cell phone, so they send it to me by mail.
The letter with it said: "Phone the costumer line and ask for your PIN code"
Me:" hello i just received my new Sim card, what is my new PIN code?"
Her: "Ah that's impossible mister, we never tell SIM code by phone"
Me: " That's not what is said on the letter"
Her: "You might have not read well, may be It's code PUQ"
Me:" What? what PUQ code It is written P-I-N"
Her: "I'm sorry mister, thats IMPOSSIBLE"
-repeat twice-
Me: "... so? what am I doing now"
Her: "Is it pUQ or PIN?"
Me: ".. for the last time it's PIN. That's enough, give me someone else that now something if you don't know that"
Her" It's impossible to give a PIN code by phone"
Ad lib
I stopped the conversation, hanged off the phone and shouted : "AAAAAAAAAAAAA" while hitting the phone on the desk
I called back and a someone who fix the problem in 2 seconds.
Then I went to sleep.
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 07/26/2004 : 11:33:37
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quote:
Originally posted by GypsyDeath
Yes, the place I work is auto dialer, which has this wonderful habit of phoning the same people, again and again again again...until the start screaming down the phone at us...haha.
And I dont heat cancer patients out of their money! technically, its a very good policy, I just know theres cheaper out there, but theres benefits with thsi one that you dont get on the cheaper one, like all of your money back tax free if you dont claim in 15 years, and they get £18000 immediately upon diagnosis, and a load of money each month after that, and loads of stuff!!
I call everyone in the evening. One of my fav conversation
Me "Good evening, could I speak to a Mrs smith Please?"
Mrs S "yes, this is she"
Me"hello Mrs Smith, how are you today?"
Mrs S " who is this?"
"My names melanie, and im calling on behalf of American Life and the Well Woman Plus Plan"
"do you know what time it is?"
"yes, its 8.45"
"thats a bit late isnt it?"
"yeah, tell me about it, im still at work"
"then why the hell are you ringing me at this time?"
"well Im paid to work til 9, so I have to call people..."
"That is absoloutely disrespectful, how dare you call me at this time of night"
" As I said madam, I do not choose what time to call. Im sorry if this has inconvenienced you"
" youve got no respect. Its illegal to call people in the evening anyway, and im ex directory. Im going to report you"
" Im sorry mrs smith, but its not illegal to call people in the evening, other wise a company as credible as American life would not be doing it, Also, ex directory will ONLY stop people taking your number out of the phone book. We get all of our numbers from consumer surveys and data management companies. Its not illegal to call someone who is ex directory..however if you are this opposed to being bothered by telesales, I suggest you get in contact with the TPS..."
"I cant believe it, youre still trying to sell me something? that it, you have no morals, you people are the scum of the earthn invading my privacy at this hour. Whats your number?"
"number?"
"yes, whats your number..you know, what is your reference work number"
"im sorry, i have no idea what youre talking about"
" how dare you you fucking bitch, im gonna report you, what your name? hmm? whats your supervisors name? Im gonna have you fired, you little bitch, you wait you fucking slag.."
"im not paid to listen to this" I put phone down.
By the way, i wasnt trying to still sell her soemthing, TPS is the telephone preferential service, which stops ALL cold caller from calling, and if they do, they personally can get fined. You have to pay like a tenner a month or something though.
Just thought I'd throw that in there...
How the hell did you remain so calm? I would have let loose on the bitch.
I had a telesales job when I was at college. I was shit at it, most males are.
_________________________________________________________
Live every day as if it were your last. Eventually you'll be right
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 07/26/2004 : 11:43:49
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quote:
Originally posted by ramona
My dad's partner also has a good method, when they ask for someone by name he says "He's deceased". It is kind of morbid, but it gets you removed from their list.
_____________________________________________________________________
You`re where you want to be, I`m where I want to be
Caught up chasing everything I`ve ever wanted
I replace you easily, replace pathetically,
I flirt with any flighty thing that falls my way.
But how I needed you, when I needed you.
Let`s not forget we are so strong, so bloody strong.
I did something along these lines recently and it nearly ended in disaster.
I got a call at about 1:00 p.m on a Sunday, after a heavy day/night of drinking (it was the weekend that Mel came to stay with Bumble). So anyway the conversation went like this:
Caller: Hello, can I speak to Michael Churchouse please?
Me: I'm sorry he's dead, he died last night.
Caller: Oh I'm sorry, goodbye now.
Me: Goodbye
I put the phone down and then realised who it was. It was Ladbrokes (betting firm) and they were calling 'cos I had emailed them with regards access problems to my account (I had a few hundred pounds worth of winnings in it), and had asked them to call me sometime. So obviously I was now a little worried that they might cancel my account. Lukily they didn't and I had to email them to inform them that I was not in fact dead, but very much alive and looking forward to spending my winnings. I blamed it on a friend.
To be fair the guy was very professional at the time, and their email reply was also very professional. Good job really.
_________________________________________________________
Live every day as if it were your last. Eventually you'll be right
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Jefery With One F
- FB Fan -
Canada
184 Posts |
Posted - 07/26/2004 : 16:58:24
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If you claim that it is a "very expensive rip off female cancer policy," then you clearly don't believe in your product. As such, you're cheating cancer patients out of their money.
...at least it's on your conscience and not mine (if you have one, that is).
Vote Bush in 2004 |
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darwin
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
USA
5454 Posts |
Posted - 07/26/2004 : 17:36:05
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quote:
Originally posted by GypsyDeath
I call everyone in the evening. One of my fav conversation
Me "Good evening, could I speak to a Mrs smith Please?"
Mrs S "yes, this is she"
Sorry, but I sympathize more with the woman receiving the call than you. Every day my life is interrupted by these annoying phone calls and often right after I have spent an hour cooking dinner for my family.
Plus, why is a healthcare porudct in Britain being called American Life? I thought our health care was seen as being in shambles. |
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The Champ
= Cult of Ray =
Canada
736 Posts |
Posted - 07/27/2004 : 07:04:17
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| Well if your in canada, what ive found out is that whenever its someone wanting money the phone has a strange ring too it, like a long distance ring, so when u pick the phone up and say hello their is also a delay before the person on the other end connects and starts speaking, so now when people call asking for money i just hang up right away when i hear the strange ring and the delay before the person starts speaking, thats how i deal with it. |
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floop
= Wannabe Volunteer =
Mexico
15297 Posts |
Posted - 07/27/2004 : 09:34:03
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quote:
Originally posted by darwin
Every day my life is interrupted by these annoying phone calls and often right after I have spent an hour cooking dinner for my family.
if you had served quesadillas you could have prepared dinner for your family in under 15 minutes.
ist es möglich für ein quesadilla skrotum zu lecken? beim sprechen der quesadillas von LBF, ja. ja in der tatheheheheheheehehee! |
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darwin
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
USA
5454 Posts |
Posted - 07/27/2004 : 09:45:21
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quote:
Originally posted by floop
quote:
Originally posted by darwin
Every day my life is interrupted by these annoying phone calls and often right after I have spent an hour cooking dinner for my family.
if you had served quesadillas you could have prepared dinner for your family in under 15 minutes.
ist es möglich für ein quesadilla skrotum zu lecken? beim sprechen der quesadillas von LBF, ja. ja in der tatheheheheheheehehee!
You are once again right, Quesadilla Master. But, isn't a quesadilla best when right out of the over or the pan rather than cooling on a plate during an unwelcomed phone call? |
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floop
= Wannabe Volunteer =
Mexico
15297 Posts |
Posted - 07/27/2004 : 09:47:50
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that's why i don't answer my phone.
ist es möglich für ein quesadilla skrotum zu lecken? beim sprechen der quesadillas von LBF, ja. ja in der tatheheheheheheehehee! |
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VoVat
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
USA
9168 Posts |
Posted - 07/28/2004 : 18:49:45
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A lot of the time, when someone calls up to sell something, there's a delay before they start talking. That's usually enough to make me hang up.
Cattle in Korea / They can really moo. |
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 07/29/2004 : 12:32:00
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quote:
Originally posted by floop
that's why i don't answer my phone.
ist es möglich für ein quesadilla skrotum zu lecken? beim sprechen der quesadillas von LBF, ja. ja in der tatheheheheheheehehee!
That's 'cos nobody calls.
_________________________________________________________
Live every day as if it were your last. Eventually you'll be right
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Cheeseman1000
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Iceland
8201 Posts |
Posted - 07/29/2004 : 12:36:51
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The phone rang the other night when i'd just served dinner for some friends. It goes 'click' and a recorded message comes on.
That is intolerably rude. You can't even have a go at Mel that way.
Kind regards,
Dr. Simon
Specialist In Broken Hearts |
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Topic |
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TELEMARKETING: your stories and help needed!
