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GypsyDeath
Zapped Profile
3575 Posts |
 Posted - 07/20/2004 : 07:18:50
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Ok. So after my 'young free & single post' this is gonna sound really ridiculous.
I don't know what's happened.
Its all gone wrong.
There's this guy. (that sentance seems to be the beginning of all my problems). I dont understand whats happened, but I really really really really like him.
yeah, we've fooled around and stuff, and I just can not get him out of my head. I cant stop thinking about him. Its crazy, we've only known eachother a short while - he's not even the sort of guy I go for...we dont even know eachother THAT well.
But yet im aching for him. To the extent where I even think about a relationship with him...just being with him. I cant get him out my head.
And whats killing me is I know that he is unlikely to want anything more with me than what has aready been expressed. Purely sexual.
I cant reason it. I dont know why I feel like this about him. Its crazy.
The first thing I thought was maybe Im just lonely..wanting someone, but if that was the case I am more likely to feel like this about one of my other guys...not this one. And its not like im even that lonely. Sure you miss little things from being in a relationship, but you gain things which make up for it beign single.
And, not too sound like an egotistical twat, its not like he's the only guy whos shown interest. I have no problem getting what I want in that sense, its almost too easy. I think men are the least challenging thing in the world.
Being single IS great. But sometimes...some nights when im lying in bed, by myself (or maybe not by myself..), all I want is to feel his body against mine, feel his arms around me. All i can think about is his breath on the back of my neck. When I wake up in the morning He'd lean over and kiss me.
You know when you just ache for that someone? Maybe someone you once had, maybe someone youve never had..maybe someone youve had a little of......When you physically ache inside for that person, yearn to feel the warmth of their body against yours, feel their heart beating. When you just KNOW that you would fit perfectly together. And most painful of all you just know they wont be intersted in anything like that at all. You know all youre gonna get is the odd night here and there, and you know thats gonna make thing ten times worse, but you need him that much that you cant say no.
I dont fall for guys in this big a way very easily. Ive been with guys for a year and not needed, or wanted them this much.
I dont get it, I dont understand. Why? He's screwing everything up. I was quite fucking happy before. Not having to think about anyone. Grrrgh. And now, now i just think about him. I ... I just want to stop feeling like this. I want to stop needing and wanting him. I need to stop aching inside.
This is so fucking ridiculous. I barely know the fucking guy.
Im sorry. I just needed to rant.
I cried my self to sleep lastnight. How pathetic is that? I avent doen that in about ... well a long time, and the last imte i did it it was for a real reason.
Sorry. Feel free to ignore this. I just want to stop feeling like this. sorry.
Just thought I'd throw that in there... |
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Frog in the Sand
-+ Le premiere frog +-
France
2715 Posts |
Posted - 07/20/2004 : 08:05:27
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Don't be sorry. Your post reminds me of my youth, and makes me realize how good it is to feel old sometimes. :)
"Join the Cult of Jon T. / and win your weight in cereals"  |
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GypsyDeath
Zapped Profile
3575 Posts |
Posted - 07/20/2004 : 08:06:13
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haha, ok, well Im glad I made you feel better.
Just thought I'd throw that in there... |
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Little Black Francis
> Teenager of the Year <
3648 Posts |
Posted - 07/20/2004 : 08:22:40
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Listen to Zeppelin's "the Song Remains the Same" and take a Xanax, drink 3 beers, 3 shots of whiskey, and call someone in the morning...
uh... dude, life is too short to contemplate passion, just fucking do it... you'll either love it or not love it so much, you have nothing to lose except the oppurtunity... just fuck his brains out is my advice... I am little" different from most though...
Jimmy Page cast a spell on me on my birthdays so give me a little" undersatnding here...
Floops quesedillas zijn te vergelijken met het likken van fatsige Albert's aars nadat hij een fles laxeermiddel heeft leeggedronkenhehehahhahehehaha |
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GypsyDeath
Zapped Profile
3575 Posts |
Posted - 07/20/2004 : 08:28:22
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I intend to fuck his brains out. No question about it.
I just dont get why I like him this much. I dotn like it when there is no logical reason behind things. Im a logical person. I dont like it where there is no reason to things...undescribable, and in decipherable (sorta like my typing!)
But yeah. Maybe once ive fucked him I wont care anymore.
Just thought I'd throw that in there... |
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Little Black Francis
> Teenager of the Year <
3648 Posts |
Posted - 07/20/2004 : 08:29:25
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| April birds and... |
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GypsyDeath
Zapped Profile
3575 Posts |
Posted - 07/20/2004 : 08:42:10
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quote:
Originally posted by Little Black Francis
Listen to Zeppelin's "the Song Remains the Same" and take a Xanax, drink 3 beers, 3 shots of whiskey, and call someone in the morning...
Hey, its not like im love sick or depressed, I am just confused about my feelings!
Mixing beer and whiskey is something i really do not need encouragement in!!!
Just thought I'd throw that in there... |
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Malax
* Dog in the Sand *
United Kingdom
1340 Posts |
Posted - 07/20/2004 : 09:39:06
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Listen to No New Wave No Fun by mclusky.
Yeah, thats it. Can't help. Weird shit being our age 17-22 to much crazy brain thinky shit. Im just about getting through it/over it.
I May've Joined The Cult Of Frank If I Knew What The Balls Was Going On.
*Adapted By Carolynanna* |
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ramona
"FB Quote Mistress"
USA
3988 Posts |
Posted - 07/20/2004 : 09:51:09
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quote:
Originally posted by GypsyDeath
I intend to fuck his brains out. No question about it.
I just dont get why I like him this much. I dotn like it when there is no logical reason behind things. Im a logical person. I dont like it where there is no reason to things...undescribable, and in decipherable (sorta like my typing!)
Okay, here is my One Year Older, One Year Wiser thought on this - love (and lust!) is just not logical, and there is no EXPLAINING it really - if there was, we would all be much less screwed up. Sometimes you can KNOW someone is not right for you, but you FEEL it and you just can't make it go away cause your brain says so. It's hard though (no pun intended) to UNDERSTAND and boy, I've been there. Just ride the tide is my advice. You really can't control it, as much as you might like to.
_____________________________________________________________________
You`re where you want to be, I`m where I want to be
Caught up chasing everything I`ve ever wanted
I replace you easily, replace pathetically,
I flirt with any flighty thing that falls my way.
But how I needed you, when I needed you.
Let`s not forget we are so strong, so bloody strong.
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KimStanleyRobinson
* Dog in the Sand *
1972 Posts |
Posted - 07/20/2004 : 10:38:43
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Its educational.
You're gonna get hurt gpysy. Hang in there.
History tailgates. |
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n/a
deleted
4894 Posts |
Posted - 07/20/2004 : 10:46:33
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I spent three and a half years being the part time reserve g/f
Good enough to fuck but not good enough to claim
It is not fun
I used to dream that he was with me and when I'd wake alone I'd cry
It doesn't do much for your ego
Ach, heart stuff sucks
Good luck with it Gypsy
I hope you get it figured out
(and if you do, explain it for me!)
Frank Black ate my Hamster
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TarTar
* Dog in the Sand *
1965 Posts |
Posted - 07/20/2004 : 11:35:55
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I had no idea you felt that way about me, Mel!
I just got out of a relationship and was so glad to be free of the confines of commitment (not that I need to get out and be with lots of girls, just the confines of having to see the girl all the time). But now there's already a girl I'm strongly interested in, to a pretty insane degree. But I work with her right now, and then she'll be moving away in a few weeks, and blah blah blah. Maybe I could use to just intend to fuck her brains out. I always think too much about these females. I always think to heavily about the attraction. I need to just become pure animal about it. Eh, probably won't happen, though. Oh well. Sigh.
Dean Ween, shortly before Brando died: "He's played Vito Corelone, Colonel Kurtz, and Stanley Kowalski all in one lifetime. What have you done?" |
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Opaque
= Cult of Ray =
USA
251 Posts |
Posted - 07/20/2004 : 22:20:16
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quote:
Originally posted by Tre
I spent three and a half years being the part time reserve g/f
Good enough to fuck but not good enough to claim
It is not fun
I used to dream that he was with me and when I'd wake alone I'd cry
It doesn't do much for your ego
Ach, heart stuff sucks
Good luck with it Gypsy
I hope you get it figured out
(and if you do, explain it for me!)
Can I get an "AMEN" from any of the other sisters in the house?  
"My primitive words match my primitive heart..." - Mercury Rev |
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ObfuscateByWill
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1887 Posts |
Posted - 07/21/2004 : 06:06:07
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Man, I couldn't read the Gypsy's post.
I got up to "really really like him" and lost interest.
-
Does anyone else do that?
Skip the original post and only read the replies?
*Shka-pow! You're Dead! |
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GypsyDeath
Zapped Profile
3575 Posts |
Posted - 07/21/2004 : 06:21:50
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I do it all the time...I tend to read lots of things in to a thread that the thread wasnt actually about, ...which could explain alot of my randomness
Just thought I'd throw that in there... |
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GypsyDeath
Zapped Profile
3575 Posts |
Posted - 07/21/2004 : 06:24:03
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But yeah, every one, thanks for the words. I dont know, its all stuff I know, been there, done it, got the fucking heart ache.
But yeah, Its probably just physical. Maybe its just cos I havent actually HAD him yet? Maybe its because hes proving more difficult than most guys.
Tre - I know what you mean. But usually with gusy i find its 'good enough to show off to mates, but not good enough to care about'. trophy girlfriend style. fuck knows why. again..this is going back to the age thing. which we shall leave alone for this thread!
Just thought I'd throw that in there... |
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Daisy Girl
~ Abstract Brain ~
Belize
5305 Posts |
Posted - 07/21/2004 : 08:12:57
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Gypsy, my best advise on men is from Janis Joplin "Get it while you can." Have fun and enjoy it and don't try to fight it. Live in the moment because most people can probably count on one or two hands how many times one has such powerful infatuation/lust encounters. It might be just a fling or it might end up being something more serious...but just focus on having fun and making good memories...not about the future yet :)
Some other good advise is from a friend. He said "It's not like you're going to marry the guy" when I was having conversation along the lines of your post. It just helped me to live in the moment and not worry about the future. But the cavat is one time I did actually marry the guy.
But for what it's worth I think what you're going through is very normal...and cool because myself and some of my friends have felt the sameway. Good luck, have fun and follow your heart and not your head. |
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GypsyDeath
Zapped Profile
3575 Posts |
Posted - 07/21/2004 : 08:32:15
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Yeah. I guess. I lived the last 6 months finally feeling free of all these sort of feelings and emotions, and thinking about stuff like this...just having fun. and then, yeah, it all went wrong. ha. But yeah. But yeah, I dotn want anything 'big' to happen with this guy. hes not....hes not what im looing for. Lovely, very sweet. Maybe a little too sweet. haha. bless him.
Yeah, ill just screw him and see what happens. I guess your right, its not often that youre totally over taken with animal like sexual passion with one particular person. thats only happened a couple of times with me, but theres something even more now.
What you said about your friend giving you that piece of advice, I know exactly what you mean, a friend once gave me a piece of advice that i totally needed at the time, ' youre 18, not 30'.
Just thought I'd throw that in there... |
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Daisy Girl
~ Abstract Brain ~
Belize
5305 Posts |
Posted - 07/21/2004 : 08:58:55
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Very cool... lust/love is weird becasue it can feel soo good but once you've been hurt it's scary... at least to me.
Yes...you are 18 live life to the fullest... this is the only time that you will be this free and full of energy to do what ever you want.
Right now I am 30...I do like it because I feel much more stable...but I have no regrets and have a lot of great memories for living like I was 18 too, if you know what you mean. |
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GypsyDeath
Zapped Profile
3575 Posts |
Posted - 07/21/2004 : 09:02:14
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Yeah, i seem to be living my life back wards. I feel like im degressing. Ive done the stable thing (too manytimes, ha), and now, yeah, now, im 18. heh.
Just thought I'd throw that in there... |
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Daisy Girl
~ Abstract Brain ~
Belize
5305 Posts |
Posted - 07/21/2004 : 09:23:14
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quote:
Originally posted by GypsyDeath
Yeah, i seem to be living my life back wards. I feel like im degressing. Ive done the stable thing (too manytimes, ha), and now, yeah, now, im 18. heh.
Just thought I'd throw that in there...
I can relate... although I was alternative I was pretty much straight edge until 18, partly because of me and partly because of my parents were uber strict. Then I just started partying like crazy to make up for lost time when I turned 18. I am not sure if that was good for me to party that much, but now I can look back and say been there done that.  |
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A Need To Want, A Want To Need. Aching.
