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Carolynanna
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Canada
6556 Posts |
 Posted - 07/19/2004 : 13:32:12
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Our resident alcoholic (Just teasing  ,
except maybe the last one...)
You've probably all seen this one but funny nonetheless;
Alcohol Warnings
Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the
following warning labels be placed immediately on all
varieties of alcohol containers:
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you
wondering what the hell happened to your bra andpanties.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think
you are whispering when you are not.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor
in dancing like a giraffe in heat.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to
tell your friends repeatedly that you love them.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to
think you can sing.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to
believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to
telephone them at four in the morning.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think
you can logically converse with other members of the
opposite sex without spitting.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading
cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead,
knees, and lower back.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the
illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and
better looking than most people.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to
think people are laughing WITH you.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
WARNING: The crumsumpten of alcahol may maak yu tink
youkan tipe real gude.
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Little Black Francis
> Teenager of the Year <
3648 Posts |
Posted - 07/19/2004 : 13:43:03
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| Non-alcoholics die every day, fucker |
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ramona
"FB Quote Mistress"
USA
3988 Posts |
Posted - 07/19/2004 : 13:46:16
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I love those - the 4 AM one is my favorite and I also also guilty of telling my friends I love them. Repeatedly and loudly.
_____________________________________________________________________
You`re where you want to be, I`m where I want to be
Caught up chasing everything I`ve ever wanted
I replace you easily, replace pathetically,
I flirt with any flighty thing that falls my way.
But how I needed you, when I needed you.
Let`s not forget we are so strong, so bloody strong.
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Monsieur
* Dog in the Sand *
France
1688 Posts |
Posted - 07/19/2004 : 14:00:29
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| True, true. |
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 07/19/2004 : 14:05:22
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Yeah the 4 AM one stood out for me too.
_________________________________________________________
Live every day as if it were your last. Eventually you'll be right
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Cheeseman1000
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Iceland
8201 Posts |
Posted - 07/19/2004 : 14:08:28
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quote:
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you
wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.
Man, I hear you.
Kind regards,
Dr. Simon
Specialist In Broken Hearts |
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Malax
* Dog in the Sand *
United Kingdom
1340 Posts |
Posted - 07/19/2004 : 16:14:25
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor
in dancing like a giraffe in heat.
Im not expert but I can honestly say I've never seen a giraffe dance, nevermind in heat.
I May've Joined The Cult Of Frank If I Knew What The Balls Was Going On.
*Adapted By Carolynanna* |
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WolfManMikeLonely
= Cult of Ray =
USA
936 Posts |
Posted - 07/19/2004 : 20:13:46
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Yeah, I've had my ex call me at 4 AM while rather drunk, probably surprised her that I was just as drunk.
"Hey fuck you if you don't like it."
-Johnny Thunders
www.transposed.net |
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apl4eris
~ Abstract Brain ~
USA
4800 Posts |
Posted - 07/19/2004 : 20:43:44
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WARNING: The consumption of absinthe is a major factor in painting giraffes in flames.
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Edited by - apl4eris on 07/19/2004 21:17:56 |
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GypsyDeath
Zapped Profile
3575 Posts |
Posted - 07/20/2004 : 06:53:55
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The first one often happens to me.
Fortunately the 4am one doesnt happen. Mostly cause I have no credit. Also because all my ex are assholes that id rather cut of my own tongue than talk to again.
But im not bitter.
Actually, I often call my first love when im drunk, but..thats different.
I have this guy (one night stand) and he is calling me sort of 3 - 6 times a week at like 3am. I know hes on tour and stuff, but yeah, hes scary.
Just thought I'd throw that in there... |
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Monsieur
* Dog in the Sand *
France
1688 Posts |
Posted - 07/21/2004 : 11:30:57
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| Don't answer, Gypsygirl, don't answer. |
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Carolynanna
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Canada
6556 Posts |
Posted - 07/21/2004 : 11:59:21
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This isn't alcohol but the tougher smarter etc. one just reminds me
of a guy I know who dropped a tab or 2 before his hockey game.
He sucked so bad that they benched him but when he came off the ice
he was all,
Holy shit I'm on fire!
Am I on fire or what?!
I'm kicking ass, watch out etc.
heehee, makes me laugh. |
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shineoftheever
> Teenager of the Year <
Canada
4307 Posts |
Posted - 07/21/2004 : 12:03:55
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quote:
Originally posted by Carolynanna
This isn't alcohol but the tougher smarter etc. one just reminds me
of a guy I know who dropped a tab or 2 before his hockey game.
He sucked so bad that they benched him but when he came off the ice
he was all,
Holy shit I'm on fire!
Am I on fire or what?!
I'm kicking ass, watch out etc.
heehee, makes me laugh.
Me and a friend did this in a tournament at age 15, My buddy got thrown out first shift, I got MVP for the game, I really was on fire, it was like the ice was sloped with the redline being the apex of a hill, I skated so hard that game, I was flying.
 "Too cool for Cults" |
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GypsyDeath
Zapped Profile
3575 Posts |
Posted - 07/22/2004 : 07:39:02
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quote:
Originally posted by Monsieur
Don't answer, Gypsygirl, don't answer.
I havent, dont worry, I havent. For the reason that, one, he is scary, and two, hes scottish, id never understand what he was saying anyway!
Just thought I'd throw that in there... |
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For LBF
