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Monsieur
* Dog in the Sand *
France
1688 Posts |
 Posted - 07/12/2004 : 13:49:28
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I used to do this with my girlfriend - go to the modern art museum and write little stories about paintings. Now that I am single (6 months and I'm still alive) I thought I could do it here.
Actually, they are exposing some stuff from Alechinsky here in Paris, and I saw it today. I really liked it a lot. So I will post this - I know Alechinsky isn't exactly abstract, but nevermind.
After the grandfather died, his lawyer (who happened to be his best friend) called the family, in order to read his testament. We were all there, Sally, Ferdinand, Jozef and myself, as well as our recpective wives/husbands. We hadn't seen each others for years, and now that I was finally in front of my sister and my brothers, I was glad it had been so - all I wanted was to finish that procedure as quickly as possible. When the lawyer designed me as the only heir to this almost unmeasurable fortune, everyone was surprised - Jozef even wanted to read the testament himself, he probably thought I had paid the old lawyer. I could see greed and madness in my brothers' eyes, jealousy and anger in the eyes of their wives. |
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shineoftheever
> Teenager of the Year <
Canada
4307 Posts |
Posted - 07/12/2004 : 14:16:16
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O what danger lurks before me? The path through life blocked by an angry beast, thorns line the way ready to rip at my very soul. I come armed. I will not let myself be cheated of my life inherent. I will venture slowly, stand true in defense of what is rightfully mine. Beware O wicked one, for I am coming. |
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Monsieur
* Dog in the Sand *
France
1688 Posts |
Posted - 07/12/2004 : 14:23:39
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| Btw, I apologize for my English mistakes - if someone could correct me, it would be nice... |
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floop
= Wannabe Volunteer =
Mexico
15297 Posts |
Posted - 07/12/2004 : 15:15:25
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It was a night like most nights. I was wearing my yellow suit with matching scarf and handkerchief. My trademark.
All the boys were there: Texas Sam, always throwing down the big stacks on #7. Bulldog Bill and his two Bitches (I like Bill, but he always smokes these shit-smelling cigars you'd think were made out of someones ass, and those bitches of his.. they care about him about as much as I care about shitting on someones nicely-manicured lawn). And Fluffy, that dopey kid from Kentucky who always stood to my left, his tongue sticking out like some kind of halfwit. Poor kid. Dumber than dog shit. Couldn't make a bet to save his life. But he's a good kid. That's why I let him watch me. Maybe he can learn something.
Anyway, tonight was a night like most nights with one exception: for once, there was something more on my mind than money. Something that even an old dog like me has a weakness for: a bitch.
I could feel her standing over there. I Didn't even have to look up to know she was back at our table. And I didn't even have to look up to know that she was watching me. Watching me bet. Watching me win, again and again. Looking at my suit. Oh yeah, she was watching me.
I could almost her her inner thoughts: "how does he do it?"
And even though I was acting cool as ice, I was thinking about her too. And I was thinking about that little yellow apron. And I was thinking about other things too.
Yes, tonight was going to be an interesting night indeed.
die quesadillas von LBF lecken skrotum! hahahahahahahhahahaa! |
Edited by - floop on 07/12/2004 15:32:23 |
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apl4eris
~ Abstract Brain ~
USA
4800 Posts |
Posted - 07/12/2004 : 15:31:36
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Hitting head on keyboard while doubled over lauging, stomach hurts and eyes watering!
This is a great idea. I will add one later, but I have to get back to making my own art now. No one guessed what it would be, but floop was close. 
floop, you're killing me!
 RIP Little Bucharest: Yuppies. They don't eat goulash. |
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pfeffa
= Cult of Ray =
Aruba
367 Posts |
Posted - 07/12/2004 : 17:11:40
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The craft skipped aimlessly above the ground with several thuds. "Geez!" shouted Kroi, "Can't you bastards park this thing?". Kroi brushed off his smooth, scaly gray skin and glared at the crew. "I'm your fricking Captain! Remember that!!!" he shouted as he gestured something obscene to his species.
"Sorry, sir, we're about to land on Earth in a place called 'Pennsylvania'. I just want to find a good open space." muttered Dorf, the navigator, as he sulked.
"Very well, then," Kroi asserted. "You gals are doing a great job...just don't hit one of those rusty railroad bridges....can't harvest many brains there."
"Good idea, Captain. We'll land near the BMW meet and steal their brains and cash...if they have any left".
This resulted in a chuckle across the ship. "Good thinking, Dorf. Land near the Holiday Inn. I see some Earthlings there with wallets. Warp speed."
Save the whales, eat a shark. |
Edited by - pfeffa on 07/12/2004 17:16:30 |
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 07/13/2004 : 10:44:37
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This is SUCH a good topic. One of the best I have seen. Trust Monsieur to come up with it.
And yes apl, I have to agree, Floops effort was absolutely hilarious! One of the funniest posts in a long time.
Maybe ever!
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Live every day as if it were your last. Eventually you'll be right
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Monsieur
* Dog in the Sand *
France
1688 Posts |
Posted - 07/13/2004 : 11:08:33
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| Well HPM, if it's a good topic, you know what you have to do... |
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 07/13/2004 : 11:09:16
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For the fourth time that day, 'Golden Axe' crashed on poor little Mikey! And so his Commodore 64 soon met the full force of his X-Wing Fighter!
Boy does that bring back memories.
[sigh]
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Live every day as if it were your last. Eventually you'll be right
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Edited by - Homers_pet_monkey on 07/13/2004 11:10:14 |
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broken part
- FB Fan -
226 Posts |
Posted - 07/13/2004 : 14:20:28
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I noticed her immediately but to my surprise she looked at me too. The initial thumping of my heart I could feel in my Adam's apple dissapeared and a fright descended upon my body numbing it with coldness when she started to make her way towards me. Her radiant beauty, her swinging hips and those luscious lips were coming my way. I bent into fetal position and although my head was bursting with pain I could not make an utterence. She was hiting me. Hard. At first I found it difficult to understand how such phenomenal power could be weilded by her fist but soon attempts for explanations were no longer reachable. I submitted and layed down enveloping her kick and punches with various soft or hard parts of my body. A cut to my head above the left ear opened into a wide gash. The bone became visible and now its integrity too was being abused. When she stopped I looked at her through the red filter of the blood streaming over my eyes. She was so beautiful standing there with her garceful figure silhouetting against the oblique rays of the setting sun. If I could have spoken I would have asked her to beat me again. I passed away. Now I'm here in darkness but my memories of her remain. Those voluptous curves, sliky blonde hair and the contour of her breasts... When she'll arrive we'll go for a sangria in the park. |
Edited by - broken part on 07/13/2004 14:22:01 |
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Cult_Of_Frank
= Black Noise Maker =
Canada
11687 Posts |
Posted - 07/13/2004 : 16:22:58
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One time in class I was doodling and I liked what I doodled so much that I wrote a poem about what the guy in the doodle would probably be seeing/feeling. Does that count? Not really abstract, I guess. I hate when I answer my own question.
 "When 5000 posts you reach / Look as good you will not, hmmm?" |
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Monsieur
* Dog in the Sand *
France
1688 Posts |
Posted - 07/13/2004 : 16:42:56
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| Just post it, and we'll see. |
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Monsieur
* Dog in the Sand *
France
1688 Posts |
Posted - 07/14/2004 : 05:05:30
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| PS : floop, did you notice that dog wearing a hawaiian shirt, staring at the "camera". He looks like a tourist whose wife took the picture. |
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misleadtheworld
* Dog in the Sand *
United Kingdom
1222 Posts |
Posted - 07/14/2004 : 05:18:22
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Lookin' sharp, Floopy old boy.
That hawaiian shirt dog looks really out of place. I didn't notice him at first, but now you mention him, it's all I'm drawn to in the picture.
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Little Black Francis
> Teenager of the Year <
3648 Posts |
Posted - 07/14/2004 : 05:44:48
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"This grass sucks. We have way better weeds in USA. UH, I wish I was painting like a Zebra. It sucks being an idiot, but as they say, idiots rule. i don't think I am dumb, I nkow it for a fact. Look at me?! I am eating shitty grass and my coat is boring as fuck. I feel like a mule. I just want to be a thoroughbred. fuck it. I just eat this grass and shit on it. fuck it, . we're all made of the same shit anyway, so fuck it. I fuck trees, rocks, other bitches... whateva... fucking look at me. Tlell me you would be different?
Ik heb je oma geneukt met de voorbind dildo van Floops moederhehehahhahehehaha |
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TarTar
* Dog in the Sand *
1965 Posts |
Posted - 07/14/2004 : 06:30:30
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When the Beatles were fed up with their records being hacked up for the American releases and made the famous "butcher" album cover for their Yesterday and Today record, which was a hodge-podge of songs that had been left off of American releases, they also submitted this picture to be used as the gatefold for the record, but Capital rejected this immediately.
With the butcher cover, the Beatles were trying to say that Capital was butchering their babies, their babies being the records they put considerable time into fully realizing and sequencing, etc.
What the Beatles were trying to say by placing this picture inside was: "What is contained in this record sleeve is mutilated and warped from what it should be. We give you nails, and they can be used to either crucify us for standing up and speaking for ourselves, or they can be use to rebuild the structure.
"You can FUCK OFF!!! Cuz I'm workin' sixty a week"
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TarTar
* Dog in the Sand *
1965 Posts |
Posted - 07/14/2004 : 06:38:30
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For those who have not seen the "butcher" cover (and because it's cool to look at even if you have seen it), here it is:
"You can FUCK OFF!!! Cuz I'm workin' sixty a week"
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Little Black Francis
> Teenager of the Year <
3648 Posts |
Posted - 07/14/2004 : 18:25:04
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that pic reminds me totally of the back cover of In-utero
Ik heb je oma geneukt met de voorbind dildo van Floops moederhehehahhahehehaha |
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apl4eris
~ Abstract Brain ~
USA
4800 Posts |
Posted - 07/16/2004 : 10:51:05
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Franz Kline
"New York, N.Y."
1953
Oil on Canvas
http://www.beatmuseum.org/kline/newyork.html
The grid pulses with summer heat today at 56th and 8th. 2 O'clock, blacktop perfume and water patterns shimmer to second floor fire escapes. Laundry hangs limp on lines, spelling out forgotten color codes in overalls and lady's lingerie to Alexander Hamilton's long-buried men. Cerulean blue ocean above makes the shadows sing electric jazz in the corner of your eye, and inspires you to buy a lemon Italian Ice at the next street vendor you meet, and to tip the man a fiver.
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Edited by - apl4eris on 07/16/2004 10:51:49 |
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shineoftheever
> Teenager of the Year <
Canada
4307 Posts |
Posted - 07/16/2004 : 11:02:06
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quote:
Originally posted by floop
......... And Fluffy, that dopey kid from Kentucky who always stood to my left, his tongue sticking out like some kind of halfwit. Poor kid. Dumber than dog shit....
ROFLMAO!!!
Pure genius Floop, pure genius!
"These waters run deep, it's clear my little one/Blue velvet star sky not a sound
The light in your eyes, the smile on your ruby lips/Tells me my lost soul is found" |
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TarTar
* Dog in the Sand *
1965 Posts |
Posted - 07/16/2004 : 22:19:32
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I didn't know you were a beatnik, apl! A damn good beatnik, too.
Dean Ween, shortly before Brando died: "He's played Vito Corelone, Colonel Kurtz, and Stanley Kowalski all in one lifetime. What have you done?" |
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 07/19/2004 : 11:49:57
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There is no doubt about it, if floop never posts again I will always love him for his conribution to this topic. I officially name it the funniest post by anyone, anywhere, EVER!
_________________________________________________________
Live every day as if it were your last. Eventually you'll be right
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The King Of Karaoke
> Teenager of the Year <
USA
3759 Posts |
Posted - 07/19/2004 : 12:06:31
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quote:
Originally posted by Homers_pet_monkey
There is no doubt about it, if floop never posts again I will always love him for his conribution to this topic. I officially name it the funniest post by anyone, anywhere, EVER!
HEY!
_________________________________________________________
Live every day as if it were your last. Eventually you'll be right
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http://www.geocities.com/j_vaughn/bigfoot.html
Have you looked into the eye's of a RankStranger?
If you have you will never forget that moment!
http://www.informationclearinghouse.info/
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Edited by - The King Of Karaoke on 07/19/2004 12:08:03 |
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ramona
"FB Quote Mistress"
USA
3988 Posts |
Posted - 07/19/2004 : 12:33:14
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This was my favorite part "It was a night like most nights. I was wearing my yellow suit with matching scarf and handkerchief. My trademark."
Man, good stuff. How can anyone follow it really?
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You`re where you want to be, I`m where I want to be
Caught up chasing everything I`ve ever wanted
I replace you easily, replace pathetically,
I flirt with any flighty thing that falls my way.
But how I needed you, when I needed you.
Let`s not forget we are so strong, so bloody strong.
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 07/19/2004 : 13:39:13
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They can't. He's killed the topic! GET HIM!
_________________________________________________________
Live every day as if it were your last. Eventually you'll be right
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Monsieur
* Dog in the Sand *
France
1688 Posts |
Posted - 07/19/2004 : 14:02:50
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| Of course not, you are completely wrong, you can still compete but in a different category. The dogs-that-acts-like-humans category has only one master : floop. |
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Topic |
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Post an abstract picture + write a little story
