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Erebus
* Dog in the Sand *

USA
1834 Posts

Posted - 07/07/2004 :  15:14:59  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
http://quasi-in-rem.blogspot.com/2004/07/ringo-starr-abandoned-unneeded-and.html

Wednesday, July 07, 2004

Ringo Starr, abandoned, unneeded and unfed!

Ringo Starr was found today, alone, likely abandoned by his caregiver, and in very poor health due to lack of nutrition. His wife, Barbara Bach was not in their home and has not been seen for several days.

Ringo, formerly of Beatles fame, has gotten older since his Beatles days and has started to lose his hair. He blames that transformation in part on the dissolution of his marriage and eventual abandonment.

" She never sent me a Valentine this year, "Ringo said" or a birthday greeting." Officials also noted that Ms. Bach seemed to have cleaned out the couples mansion of all liquor including wine.

Ringo's daughter Serena noted, "The first sign things were bad between them was when dad showed up at our doorstep at quarter to three in the morning. Barbara had just locked him out."

Officials are still on the look out for Miss Bach, who, despite being a former supermodel, has aged herself, and is unlikely to find another mate at this advanced age.

Other than Mr. Starr's poor condition, the house was in complete disrepair. Fuses needed mending, sweaters lay half knit by the fireplace and weeds filled the garden.

"You've got to find her and find out why she left," Ringo pleaded with the police." We have a rental cottage on the Isle of Wightif that we use in the summer. She might be there."

This is not the first tragedy to have hit the Starr household in recent years. In 2002, Ringo's three grandchildren Vera, Chuck and Dave Starr were all killed in a freak submarine/octopus accidental collision which remains unsolved to this day.

The only clue as to Ms. Bach's reasons for leaving was a form which read:
Ringo? Yes ___ No __X__

In other Starr related news, Ringo turned 64 today July 7th, 2004. In lieu of gifts, Ringo would rather be 22 again.

posted by a man on the hill. 7/7/2004

shineoftheever
> Teenager of the Year <

Canada
4307 Posts

Posted - 07/07/2004 :  15:18:42  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I guess that answers the question then.

"You'll soon be dust your deeds already are, You saw no orb no fiery bushes either, I must be drunk I feel unsteady, No monster me, sadly no saint either... "
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SpudBoy
= Cult of Ray =

Equatorial Guinea
649 Posts

Posted - 07/07/2004 :  15:34:55  Show Profile  Visit SpudBoy's Homepage  Reply with Quote
Technically, we won't know the answer to valentine question (or most of the others) until next year. He was 63 in February.


*festoon*
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El Barto
= Song DB Master =

USA
4020 Posts

Posted - 07/07/2004 :  15:57:19  Show Profile  Visit El Barto's Homepage  Reply with Quote
This doesn't make sense at all, but I really don't like Ringo at all.


I guess I just wasn't made for these times.
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Brackish
- FB Fan -

142 Posts

Posted - 07/07/2004 :  16:13:24  Show Profile  Visit Brackish's Homepage  Reply with Quote
Well, I don't get the post, but I do like Ringo Starr's drumming. I think he's a really underrated drummer, people like to make fun of him because he was not a John or a Paul. Well who is? Ok, John and Paul were, but who else? Ringo Starr, damn good drummer says I.
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shineoftheever
> Teenager of the Year <

Canada
4307 Posts

Posted - 07/07/2004 :  16:17:34  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Will you still love me, when I'm 64?

"You'll soon be dust your deeds already are, You saw no orb no fiery bushes either, I must be drunk I feel unsteady, No monster me, sadly no saint either... "
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darwin
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<

USA
5454 Posts

Posted - 07/07/2004 :  16:19:32  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
You mean his grandkids weren't really killed in a "submarine/octopus accidental collision"?
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SpudBoy
= Cult of Ray =

Equatorial Guinea
649 Posts

Posted - 07/07/2004 :  16:31:03  Show Profile  Visit SpudBoy's Homepage  Reply with Quote
Dead Milkmen - "Ringo Buys a Rifle"

"Paul was dubbing Ringo's drumming
John was dubbing Ringo's humming
People were starting to talk"

Obviously there were issues.


*festoon*
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Erebus
* Dog in the Sand *

USA
1834 Posts

Posted - 07/07/2004 :  16:42:00  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
When I'm Sixty-Four
(John Lennon, Paul McCartney)
Lead Vocal: Paul McCartney

When I get older losing my hair
Many years from now
Will you still be sending me a valentine
Birthday greetings bottle of wine

If I'd been out till quarter to three
Would you lock the door
Will you still need me, will you still feed me
When I'm sixty-four

You'll be older too
And if you say the word
I could stay with you

I could be handy, mending a fuse
When your lights have gone
You can knit a sweater by the fireside
Sunday mornings go for a ride
Doing the garden, digging the weeds
Who could ask for more
Will you still need me, will you still feed me
When I'm sixty-four

Every summer we can rent a cottage
In the Isle of Wight, if it's not too dear
We shall scrimp and save
Grandchildren on your knee
Vera Chuck & Dave

Send me a postcard, drop me a line
Stating point of view
Indicate precisely what you mean to say
Yours sincerely, wasting away
Give me your answer, fill in a form
Mine for evermore
Will you still need me, will you still feed me
When I'm sixty-four

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VoVat
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<

USA
9168 Posts

Posted - 07/07/2004 :  19:33:13  Show Profile  Visit VoVat's Homepage  Click to see VoVat's MSN Messenger address  Reply with Quote
He was in a car crash, and he lost his hair.



Cattle in Korea / They can really moo.
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Little Black Francis
> Teenager of the Year <

3648 Posts

Posted - 07/07/2004 :  22:18:30  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
How fitting for this time in life, "Ringo" is fucked up.

I can't wait to tell my 88 (almost 89) grandmother (bobcia) about this notorious fact....



I've been listening to the John Lennon 4 disc anthoilogy A LOT!

I hope that's all right with you


But fuck it.

merci d'essayer de m'apprendre le francais hehehahhahehehaha
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GypsyDeath
Zapped Profile

3575 Posts

Posted - 07/08/2004 :  08:48:05  Show Profile  Visit GypsyDeath's Homepage  Reply with Quote
Erebus - that is what iw as gonna post.

I like ringo. bless him.

Just thought I'd throw that in there...
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