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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
 Posted - 06/30/2004 : 13:14:54
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OK, I was in KFC yesterday and as I'm munching away on my 'finger lickin' I looked down at the freshen up towel. It read, "Tear open and use".
What the fuck!? Talk about useless instructions. I mean these things hardly require instructions surely, but what the hell is the point anyway if you are gonna end it with the word 'use'!? If you are so dumb that you need to follow these instructions then how to 'use' the product is obviously beyond you in the first place.
So anyway, anybody got any other useless instructions/notices etc to share?
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If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. |
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Coldheartofstone
* Dog in the Sand *
Canada
2025 Posts |
Posted - 06/30/2004 : 13:18:07
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lather, rinse, repeat?
Why thank you pantene, without those instructions I would have probably just poured the shampoo in my eye.
Her life was saved by Rock & Roll. |
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The Calistanian
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1342 Posts |
Posted - 06/30/2004 : 13:19:59
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Well, on coffee cups, they have to put: "Caution: Hot Liquid". I guess too many people were suing McDonalds for their own foolishness.
But the real atrocity here is: You ate at KFC?!?!?!?!!?
1. I am a fsh with no i's.
2. You must be wearing Zubaz, 'cause you're daring to be different.
3. I am a man with 3 fingers...but that doesn't count my index finger nor my thumb. |
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apl4eris
~ Abstract Brain ~
USA
4800 Posts |
Posted - 06/30/2004 : 13:20:05
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Well, duh!
 Swedish Chef's "Dumpling of Wisdom": Øder tis moodle in der noggin tu smacken der ouchey und vinger-slingers ur to smacken-backen und fix de morkin, yøobetcha! |
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n/a
deleted
4894 Posts |
Posted - 06/30/2004 : 13:24:35
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*looks for tampon instruction leaflet and considers scanning it*
Frank Black ate my Hamster
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 06/30/2004 : 13:35:23
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Hehe, scan it, scan it!
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If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. |
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ShakeyShake
* Dog in the Sand *
United Kingdom
1058 Posts |
Posted - 06/30/2004 : 13:45:46
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Sort of off topic,i saw a roadsign once that said "This roadsign is not yet in use"
Hilarity
"I joined the Cult of this guy / 'cause they took my other picture away |
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apl4eris
~ Abstract Brain ~
USA
4800 Posts |
Posted - 06/30/2004 : 13:49:03
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A picture of that would be golden.
"Do not eat"
Who are they quoting? Is the silica gel being ironic?
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Edited by - apl4eris on 06/30/2004 13:51:32 |
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Coldheartofstone
* Dog in the Sand *
Canada
2025 Posts |
Posted - 06/30/2004 : 13:54:01
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who's the freak who tried to eat it in the first place....obviously enough people were finding this irresistable and trying to shove it in their mouths, enough that they had to say "Do not eat". My goodness.
Her life was saved by Rock & Roll. |
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n/a
deleted
4894 Posts |
Posted - 06/30/2004 : 13:55:47
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um... if you put a bit on your tongue it's kinda weird
Frank Black ate my Hamster
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 06/30/2004 : 13:56:36
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Do you think that confuses the guys in the factory apl?
BOSS: Where the hell are all the Silica Gel packs in these shoe boxes?
WORKER: Erm, it said to throw them away boss!
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If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. |
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Coldheartofstone
* Dog in the Sand *
Canada
2025 Posts |
Posted - 06/30/2004 : 13:57:21
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HAHAHahahahha...oh man.
Her life was saved by Rock & Roll. |
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fudd
= Cult of Ray =
664 Posts |
Posted - 06/30/2004 : 13:59:55
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NO DOGS ALLOWED
except seeing eye dogs for the blind |
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The Calistanian
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1342 Posts |
Posted - 06/30/2004 : 14:01:33
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There's this town where I live, and everything in town refers to beavers. The "Beaver Restaurant", the "Beaver Inn", I think the high school mascot is even the beaver.
But I think they went too far when they named their haircut place "The Beaver Look".
I truly wish I had a picture of that.
1. I am a fsh with no i's.
2. You must be wearing Zubaz, 'cause you're daring to be different.
3. I am a man with 3 fingers...but that doesn't count my index finger nor my thumb. |
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n/a
deleted
4894 Posts |
Posted - 06/30/2004 : 14:06:24
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u huhuhuhuhuhuhh you said beaver uh huh uhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuh
Frank Black ate my Hamster
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The King Of Karaoke
> Teenager of the Year <
USA
3759 Posts |
Posted - 06/30/2004 : 14:10:31
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Yeah totally I mean how stupid do they think people are?
At least Jergens lotion didn't feel the need to insult my intelligence by spelling out how to use their handcream. It's pretty self explanatory really. Put handcream in hand, then apply to penis and rub.
The stuff is really good for your hands too!
Just a side benefit I guess.
-------------------------------------
http://www.geocities.com/j_vaughn/bigfoot.html
Have you looked into the eye's of a RankStranger?
If you have you will never forget that moment!
http://www.informationclearinghouse.info/
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 06/30/2004 : 14:19:37
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Heheheheeeeee!
You mention such lotion a lot KoK.
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If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. |
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n/a
deleted
4894 Posts |
Posted - 06/30/2004 : 14:21:30
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men have lotion women have jet stream showers and tiger balm
Frank Black ate my Hamster
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 06/30/2004 : 14:28:16
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And I have..................
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If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. |
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n/a
deleted
4894 Posts |
Posted - 06/30/2004 : 14:43:59
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bees
Frank Black ate my Hamster
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 06/30/2004 : 14:46:21
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Hot diggity damn!
__________________________________________________
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. |
Edited by - Homers_pet_monkey on 06/30/2004 14:46:41 |
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n/a
deleted
4894 Posts |
Posted - 06/30/2004 : 15:08:19
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you kucky *lucky* boy, you should wear them as a beard. that would impress everyone
Frank Black ate my Hamster
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GypsyDeath
Zapped Profile
3575 Posts |
Posted - 06/30/2004 : 15:12:16
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mmmm...jet streams....
I bet you never thought your movie would turn out this way
You crossed the other way, youd hope i wouldnt see you, you say youre doing fine, but thats not what it looks like, your undercovers on...
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 06/30/2004 : 15:17:22
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Yeah my fantastic bee-ard!
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If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. |
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n/a
deleted
4894 Posts |
Posted - 06/30/2004 : 15:21:41
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gypsy did you try the detachable shower? And I also really *really* reccomend buying a pot of tiger balm... 50p any old hippy shop and miles better than the "rub" you buy in ann summers for a fiver
it will look bee-ootifull
Frank Black ate my Hamster
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 06/30/2004 : 15:28:02
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It will bee amazing!
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If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. |
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n/a
deleted
4894 Posts |
Posted - 06/30/2004 : 15:29:20
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I'm sure it will bee most bee-coming
Frank Black ate my Hamster
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GypsyDeath
Zapped Profile
3575 Posts |
Posted - 06/30/2004 : 15:31:58
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Tiger balm sounds intriguing. I hate ann summers, there stuff is shit, and the vibrators are way over priced (yet i still go in there). Theres much better sex shops in brighton than ann summers.
I did try the shower thing, yeah. youre right, its just the same as having a jet stream
I bet you never thought your movie would turn out this way
You crossed the other way, youd hope i wouldnt see you, you say youre doing fine, but thats not what it looks like, your undercovers on...
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 06/30/2004 : 15:36:22
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I am bee-sotted.
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If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. |
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n/a
deleted
4894 Posts |
Posted - 06/30/2004 : 15:38:39
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your friends won't bee-lieve it
Frank Black ate my Hamster
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 06/30/2004 : 15:48:47
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But they wouldn't bee-grudge me my bees!
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If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. |
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n/a
deleted
4894 Posts |
Posted - 06/30/2004 : 15:58:17
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I'm sure they would bee much bee-loved
Frank Black ate my Hamster
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Malax
* Dog in the Sand *
United Kingdom
1340 Posts |
Posted - 06/30/2004 : 16:10:22
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I think theres a simpsons quote that goes something like this:
COMMENTATOR:"Have you got football fever? If so the only cure is to get two tickets to this weeks game. warningticketsshouldnotbetakeninternally"
HOMER:"See, because of me now they have a warning"
I May've Joined The Cult Of Frank If I Knew What The Balls Was Going On.
*Adapted By Carolynanna* |
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El Barto
= Song DB Master =
USA
4020 Posts |
Posted - 06/30/2004 : 16:55:29
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Beaver is one word I cannot say or hear without bursting into laughter. Fucking "beaver." I'm laughing at myself right now.
Boycott cults and t's |
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n/a
deleted
4894 Posts |
Posted - 06/30/2004 : 17:00:24
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willy is the one that cracks me up every time..... repeat after me... willy
Frank Black ate my Hamster
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shineoftheever
> Teenager of the Year <
Canada
4307 Posts |
Posted - 06/30/2004 : 17:01:57
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pecker is pretty funny
"That's Nuckin' Futs" |
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Stating The Obvious
