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GypsyDeath
Zapped Profile
3575 Posts |
 Posted - 10/07/2007 : 07:39:23
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Be inlove with two people at the same time?
I never thought it possible before, but now i'm not too sure. 
"I'm not much like my generation,
Their music only hurts my ears" ~ Kasey Chambers |
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fbc
-= Modulator =-
United Kingdom
4903 Posts |
Posted - 10/07/2007 : 07:52:33
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i'm not sure, either.
i've been in a situation where i was with someone i loved like no other before, but lusted after somebody else.
they both turned me on in different ways, one was kiss n cuddles and i love yous with a future, the other was spontaneous and crazy living in the moment. they both gave me butterflies. |
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PixieSteve
> Teenager of the Year <
Poland
4698 Posts |
Posted - 10/07/2007 : 07:57:43
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are you in love with both spiderman and peter parker? if so, i have some awesome news for you: they're the SAME person! you have nothing to worry about.
I like to complain |
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Erebus
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1834 Posts |
Posted - 10/07/2007 : 08:11:45
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I'm not sure it's natural but I do think it's possible. I also suspect your love is calibrated differently for the different objects of your love, and that at some point soon your brain stem will assert a preference.
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trobrianders
> Teenager of the Year <
Papua New Guinea
3302 Posts |
Posted - 10/07/2007 : 12:42:14
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You're not in love with them. You only think that you're in love with them - Heller.
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Ed is the hoo hoo |
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Frog in the Sand
-+ Le premiere frog +-
France
2715 Posts |
Posted - 10/07/2007 : 13:01:01
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quote:
Originally posted by GypsyDeath
Be inlove with two people
Yes.
quote:
at the same time?
No.
 an undisclosed number of visitors can't be wrong |
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shineoftheever
> Teenager of the Year <
Canada
4307 Posts |
Posted - 10/07/2007 : 13:55:09
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in love is different from love.
usually in love comes first then love then the person you love starts making withdrawals from that love account while another person keeps making deposits only because you refuse to see any of the bad characteristics he/she has. i agree with FITS, you can't be in love with 2 people at the same time, but there will be a point when you shift love from one to the other and the "in love" turns to "love" and the "love" turns to "in hate". this is when you should try to end it before it turns to real "hate".
think about it, the person you love makes a lame (in your opinion) excuse for not attending a special dinner with you, you become very upset. you call this new person to see of he/she can come to your special dinner, but that person gives the same excuse, your reaction is to villify your love and even blame them because even though it only took 5 minutes to call both people the time it took for your new friend to decide not to go was in that 5 minutes. you think, next time i'm gonna ask him/her first. it was ok for them to say no, but it wasn't for your current love, your current love moves down the ladder, your new love moves up. hope that helps put stuff into perspective.
The waxworks were an immensely eloquent dissertation on the wonderful ordinariness of mankind. |
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Llamadance
> Teenager of the Year <
United Kingdom
2543 Posts |
Posted - 10/07/2007 : 14:02:11
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I'm not sure that being in love is exclusive, no reason why it should be. However, like shine says, if you've been with one person a long time then the relationship is different. It's less exciting, less new, less impulsive. A new person has that, the excitement comes from learning about them, something you can't do with an existing partner.
However, if they are both new relationships, you should be able to choose.
Easy Easy Easy!! MicknPhil Marathon Lads Sign this petition |
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Carl
- A 'Fifth' Catholic -
Ireland
11546 Posts |
Posted - 10/07/2007 : 14:46:35
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Oaky, Gypsy, just to make peace I'll let the other guy have you.
 "In six months, she'll look like Grandma Moses!" |
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floop
= Wannabe Volunteer =
Mexico
15297 Posts |
Posted - 10/07/2007 : 15:11:06
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quote:
Originally posted by Carl
Oaky, Gypsy, just to make peace I'll let the other guy have you.
"In six months, she'll look like Grandma Moses!"
No Gypsy, I insist that you take Carl |
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VoVat
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
USA
9168 Posts |
Posted - 10/07/2007 : 20:28:43
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Can you be involved with two people? Sure. Is it a good idea? Probably not.
"If you doze much longer, then life turns to dreaming. If you doze much longer, then dreams turn to nightmares." |
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billgoodman
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Netherlands
6213 Posts |
Posted - 10/08/2007 : 00:38:15
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Haven't you people seen: http://www.hbo.com/biglove/
I heard somebody say that in pyschology being in love is seen as a natural feeling of wanting to know the other person. You don't have to love those people, but you can have butterflies. I have encountered this many times, but in the end I think it doesn't mean anything. Nothing can beat my girlfriend, you know, no simple crush can get in the way of the love of many years. I think (and hope) my lady thinks this too.
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BF: Mag ik Engels spreken? |
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 10/08/2007 : 05:55:09
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Things have moved fast Mel. It wasn't that long ago that you split with your ex was it?
So who are they both, let's hear more?
 I'd walk her everyday, into a shady place
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lonely persuader
= Cult of Ray =
Ireland
488 Posts |
Posted - 10/08/2007 : 06:42:19
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sure ya can, its all just chemicals and shit.... if a few people do it for ya, great!! Its just societal norms that have precluded more than one partner etc... we'll evolve past that if it is beneficial (if not we wont)... two exclusive parents may be the optimal strategy, in which case the chemicals in our brains for exclusiveness will be selected for.....
So in short, i dunno........... |
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IceCream
= Quote Accumulator =
USA
1850 Posts |
Posted - 10/08/2007 : 07:05:36
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I have more than one friend. If you can have Platonic love for more than one person, why not romantic love?
(that was not a rhetorical question. i wanna know what the difference is.) |
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lonely persuader
= Cult of Ray =
Ireland
488 Posts |
Posted - 10/08/2007 : 08:43:31
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quote:
Originally posted by IceCream
I have more than one friend.
me too! |
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Llamadance
> Teenager of the Year <
United Kingdom
2543 Posts |
Posted - 10/08/2007 : 08:59:55
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quote:
Originally posted by IceCream
I have more than one friend. If you can have Platonic love for more than one person, why not romantic love?
(that was not a rhetorical question. i wanna know what the difference is.)
just think romantic love is less likely - so you could have more than one, but the chances of finding two people you'd want to be linked to like that are relatively slim. Plus having one kind of precludes having another.
But I'm firmly in the 'it's possible to love more than one person' camp.
Easy Easy Easy!! MicknPhil Marathon Lads Sign this petition |
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GypsyDeath
Zapped Profile
3575 Posts |
Posted - 10/08/2007 : 09:35:19
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Mike - I dont know when I last spoke to you to know which ex you are talking about!!!?? And I havent actually said im talking about ME being in love with 2 people!!!
Thanks for the opinions, interesting reading. Most of which just confirms what I thought in the first place, I guess.
The situation is complicated - apparently overwhelming love and lust for one guy, but the other person is an old friend, where stuff has been growing for a number of years.
"I'm not much like my generation,
Their music only hurts my ears" ~ Kasey Chambers |
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 10/08/2007 : 11:19:35
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quote:
Originally posted by GypsyDeath
Mike - I dont know when I last spoke to you to know which ex you are talking about!!!?? And I havent actually said im talking about ME being in love with 2 people!!!
"I'm not much like my generation,
Their music only hurts my ears" ~ Kasey Chambers
No but I'm right aren't I?
I can't remember either, but it was the guy you were seeing whilst you still posted on here, because you talked about him. I don't think you talked about another guy, so that must be someone since.
I'd walk her everyday, into a shady place
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GypsyDeath
Zapped Profile
3575 Posts |
Posted - 10/08/2007 : 13:30:32
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quote:
Originally posted by Homers_pet_monkey
quote:
Originally posted by GypsyDeath
Mike - I dont know when I last spoke to you to know which ex you are talking about!!!?? And I havent actually said im talking about ME being in love with 2 people!!!
"I'm not much like my generation,
Their music only hurts my ears" ~ Kasey Chambers
No but I'm right aren't I?
I can't remember either, but it was the guy you were seeing whilst you still posted on here, because you talked about him. I don't think you talked about another guy, so that must be someone since.
I'd walk her everyday, into a shady place
Sorry to dissapoint, but no I am not talking about me, my life isn't that exciting!
I was with a guy for 2 1/2 years, that I split up from 6 months ago...why such an interest?
"I'm not much like my generation,
Their music only hurts my ears" ~ Kasey Chambers |
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GypsyDeath
Zapped Profile
3575 Posts |
Posted - 10/08/2007 : 14:16:07
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I am in a position to be able to go in to a wee bit more detail now.
One of the two the people has known the person in question for around...i think 7 years. had a ,er, complicated past which resulted in sex last year...but due to relationships and other things they couldnt be together, and contact was severed. In the past few months contact has been regained, and all the same feelings are ther e- if not stronger, on both sides.
the newer person is pretty perfect i reckon. Get on extremely well, and everything apparently feels....perfect. you know when something is 'just so right'? well thats how it is....but the same with the other.......
erm, so yeah, complicated! I just dont know what to say or do, and its difficult because i was always so in the camp 'there is a difference between love, inlove and lust, and people are too stupid to figure it out'....but now, having heard all this and takingthe time to understand, and knowing all the people involved......I guess i am reevaluating my stance.
"I'm not much like my generation,
Their music only hurts my ears" ~ Kasey Chambers |
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Broken Face
-= Forum Pistolero =-
USA
5155 Posts |
Posted - 10/08/2007 : 17:39:15
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I think the only reasonable thing to do here is to stick with your current gentlemen caller. We can all fantasize all we want about what could be or what may be if etc, etc - but what really matters is what you have. If you love this guy and is "pretty perfect i reckon," hold onto that.
- Brian |
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 10/09/2007 : 04:55:17
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I think Brian has summed it up pretty well there.
I'd walk her everyday, into a shady place
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GypsyDeath
Zapped Profile
3575 Posts |
Posted - 10/09/2007 : 05:26:05
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quote:
Originally posted by Broken Face
I think the only reasonable thing to do here is to stick with your current gentlemen caller. We can all fantasize all we want about what could be or what may be if etc, etc - but what really matters is what you have. If you love this guy and is "pretty perfect i reckon," hold onto that.
- Brian
Yep, thats pretty much what I have said to her. I think its too dangerous to see if the other one could go anywhere, because it may be half the appeal is that its the whole forbidden love thing. And if they are meant to be together, then they will, she doesnt need to force that, when she has something so good with current man. I should point out that the two of them have not had an affair whilst she has been with this current guy...
I dont think the second guy will ever stop being incredibly important to her. I guess its just working out where that line stops and the new guys line starts.
"I'm not much like my generation,
Their music only hurts my ears" ~ Kasey Chambers |
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Can you...
