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 Can I gain 15 to 20 lbs before next Sunday?
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jimmy
= Cult of Ray =

USA
876 Posts

Posted - 08/17/2007 :  21:10:58  Show Profile  Visit jimmy's Homepage  Reply with Quote
I have a graduation party to go to Sunday, the 26th.
Right now, I weigh 183, 184- I'm 6'1"; I can't find my roommate's scale.

I look alright, just a little skinny.

Also, I want to raise my post count- 1000 by the end of the month.

anyway, how much weight do you think I can pack on before the party?

check out my friend's paintings at http://myspace.com/landspeedsong

jimmy
= Cult of Ray =

USA
876 Posts

Posted - 08/17/2007 :  21:16:07  Show Profile  Visit jimmy's Homepage  Reply with Quote


Here's my plan:
Bacon eggs and sausage every day for breakfast and dinner. Everythings gonna be cooked in bacon fat- that's the way i do it anyway.
Plus every night I'm gonna cook up some home fries in bacon fat for the next morning and make angel hair or ziti the night before to bring to work.

and I'm gonna go for even more McDonalds than usual- my #9- McNugget Meal, 10 piece, large fries and a coke.

What else can I do?


check out my friend's paintings at http://myspace.com/landspeedsong
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coastline
> Teenager of the Year <

USA
3111 Posts

Posted - 08/17/2007 :  21:29:33  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I doubt you stand a chance, jimmy. Witness this terrible decision, from the drunk thread:

quote:
Originally posted by jimmy



I'm so wasted, craving Burger King. MMMmmm rodeo burger, fries. Or I could stay here and stuff some tomatoes with breadcrumbs, parmsean cheese and fresh basil and bake them with mozzerella cheese and butter on top mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm


It's too late and it's still raining; tomatoes it is!!!!!


If you want to gain 15-20 pounds, the tomatoes aren't gonna help, pal. Just a little friendly advice.


Please pardon me, for these my wrongs.
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Daisy Girl
~ Abstract Brain ~

Belize
5305 Posts

Posted - 08/17/2007 :  21:36:31  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I really don't know why I am saying this but you could get a protien powder and chug that down. That should help bulk you up.

But I hate to say this but you'll never put on that much weight in that little time.

bluefinger

Edited by - Daisy Girl on 08/17/2007 21:37:36
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Superabounder
* Dog in the Sand *

USA
1041 Posts

Posted - 08/17/2007 :  22:04:11  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Maybe you should try a cycle of the clear and the cream.



I'd rather be anywhere or doing anything
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jimmy
= Cult of Ray =

USA
876 Posts

Posted - 08/17/2007 :  22:16:19  Show Profile  Visit jimmy's Homepage  Reply with Quote
But no coast, here's what I did:
Ziti, with an olive oil/ butter sauce, fresh chopped garlic, fresh tomatoes and basil.
But the best thing: I had two leftover hotdog rolls from the other day- I opened them up and buttered them and put them in the oven, then when they were browned I spooned some of the sauce on top and put parmasean cheese on them too.

they were the best part of the meal.

Now it's back to grape vodka, cigarettes, and pills.


check out my friend's paintings at http://myspace.com/landspeedsong
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jimmy
= Cult of Ray =

USA
876 Posts

Posted - 08/17/2007 :  22:17:01  Show Profile  Visit jimmy's Homepage  Reply with Quote
SB, what is the clear and the cream?


check out my friend's paintings at http://myspace.com/landspeedsong
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jimmy
= Cult of Ray =

USA
876 Posts

Posted - 08/17/2007 :  22:23:06  Show Profile  Visit jimmy's Homepage  Reply with Quote

Also I'm going to smoke less, and no jerking off- it burns too many calories and if I store all that cum it's extra weight.

check out my friend's paintings at http://myspace.com/landspeedsong
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tisasawath
= Cult of Ray =

Wallis and Futuna Islands
783 Posts

Posted - 08/17/2007 :  23:27:58  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
yeah, your prostate gland will swell up as well, maybe even develop a tumor, those can grow real big real fast, 5-7 pounds right there

-----
AAAAWWWWWRRRIIGGHHTTTTT !! !
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darwin
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<

USA
5448 Posts

Posted - 08/18/2007 :  00:01:13  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by jimmy

SB, what is the clear and the cream?


check out my friend's paintings at http://myspace.com/landspeedsong



The "clear" is just flaxseed oil.


This signature moderated courtesy Cult of Frank.
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jimmy
= Cult of Ray =

USA
876 Posts

Posted - 08/18/2007 :  00:05:12  Show Profile  Visit jimmy's Homepage  Reply with Quote
wait till coast sees my prostate gland tumor, then he'll feel pretty stupid for doubting me

check out my friend's paintings at http://myspace.com/landspeedsong
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s_wrenn
* Dog in the Sand *

Ireland
1851 Posts

Posted - 08/18/2007 :  03:20:52  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
no jerking? isn't that against the law?


/ @ * ~ ¦ ¬ . , |
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kathryn
~ Selkie Bride ~

Belgium
15320 Posts

Posted - 08/18/2007 :  05:20:18  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I have bolded below your tragic mistake, my friend:

quote:
Originally posted by jimmy



Here's my plan:
Bacon eggs and sausage every day for breakfast and dinner. Everythings gonna be cooked in bacon fat- that's the way i do it anyway.
Plus every night I'm gonna cook up some home fries in bacon fat for the next morning and make angel hair or ziti the night before to bring to work.

and I'm gonna go for even more McDonalds than usual- my #9- McNugget Meal, 10 piece, large fries and a coke.





Next time, make it, not a coke, but a milkshake. Good luck.


I got some heaven in my head
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Carolynanna
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<

Canada
6556 Posts

Posted - 08/18/2007 :  07:54:54  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Don't eat anything during the day. At least skip breakfast.
But pig out during the evening right up until bedtime.

__________
Fuck off I got work to do.
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Superabounder
* Dog in the Sand *

USA
1041 Posts

Posted - 08/18/2007 :  08:25:44  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by jimmy

SB, what is the clear and the cream?


check out my friend's paintings at http://myspace.com/landspeedsong



Barry Bonds' secret formula that changed him from the pencil neck he once was.



I'd rather be anywhere or doing anything
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coastline
> Teenager of the Year <

USA
3111 Posts

Posted - 08/18/2007 :  08:47:15  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Before:



After:




Please pardon me, for these my wrongs.
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jimmy
= Cult of Ray =

USA
876 Posts

Posted - 08/18/2007 :  10:13:57  Show Profile  Visit jimmy's Homepage  Reply with Quote
Oh kathryn, I know, and there's nothing I love more than a strawberry milkshake with my McNuggets, but around here it seems like they jack up the price another $5 if you wanna substitute a milkshake for a soda.

check out my friend's paintings at http://myspace.com/landspeedsong
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kathryn
~ Selkie Bride ~

Belgium
15320 Posts

Posted - 08/18/2007 :  10:20:56  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
If you are serious about chunking out, you will pony up the fiver. Don't be a wuss.

Oh, another piece of advice: stop fidgeting (if you are a fidgeter). That burns calories, too.

What kind of graduation party is this? Summer camp, med school, the local pen? What are we talking about anyway?


I got some heaven in my head
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =

United Kingdom
17125 Posts

Posted - 08/18/2007 :  10:55:24  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Stop posting on this forum. You're losing weight in your fingers.


I'd walk her everyday, into a shady place
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s_wrenn
* Dog in the Sand *

Ireland
1851 Posts

Posted - 08/18/2007 :  11:02:37  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Lick your frying pan



/ @ * ~ ¦ ¬ . , |
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mr.biscuitdoughhead
* Dog in the Sand *

USA
1729 Posts

Posted - 08/18/2007 :  11:54:02  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Homers_pet_monkey

Stop posting on this forum. You're losing weight in your fingers.


I'd walk her everyday, into a shady place



then how will he reach 1000 posts?


It's 1969, okay.
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jimmy
= Cult of Ray =

USA
876 Posts

Posted - 08/18/2007 :  18:24:06  Show Profile  Visit jimmy's Homepage  Reply with Quote
well, kate, it's some college out in Boston, I can't think of which one.

check out my friend's paintings at http://myspace.com/landspeedsong
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Jefrey
= Cult of Ray =

USA
918 Posts

Posted - 08/18/2007 :  23:23:54  Show Profile  Visit Jefrey's Homepage  Reply with Quote
Steady diet of chips and guacamole should do it. Don't do McDonalds - it won't fatten you up as much as you think. Most of it just goes right through you. Go Taco Bell and get stuff with nacho cheeze sauce and sour cream if you seriously want to add some pounds quick. Taco Bell is the way to go. But the guacamole diet is delicious, somewhat healthy, and very fattening. You'll fatten up, but still feel great with all the omega-3's and antioxidants.

== jeffamerica ==
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IceCream
= Quote Accumulator =

USA
1850 Posts

Posted - 08/19/2007 :  05:37:12  Show Profile  Visit IceCream's Homepage  Reply with Quote
Go to sleep immediately after every meal (which should be huge). You won't burn anything off by sleeping.
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =

United Kingdom
17125 Posts

Posted - 08/19/2007 :  08:35:02  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
The best way to put on weight is to eat smaller amounts constantly throughout the day. Eating a few huge meals isn't the way to do it.


I'd walk her everyday, into a shady place
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mr.biscuitdoughhead
* Dog in the Sand *

USA
1729 Posts

Posted - 08/19/2007 :  12:03:42  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I thought that helped you burn fat...?


Special favors come in 31 flavors / We're out of mint so pass the lifesavers.
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =

United Kingdom
17125 Posts

Posted - 08/19/2007 :  12:05:59  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Which?


I'd walk her everyday, into a shady place
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mr.biscuitdoughhead
* Dog in the Sand *

USA
1729 Posts

Posted - 08/19/2007 :  12:06:49  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Eating small amounts.


Special favors come in 31 flavors / We're out of mint so pass the lifesavers.

Edited by - mr.biscuitdoughhead on 08/19/2007 12:07:17
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =

United Kingdom
17125 Posts

Posted - 08/19/2007 :  12:10:48  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
If you constantly snack, you'll put on weight. Three huge meals isn't gonna do it. The body can only take on so much in one go.

Or summat.


I'd walk her everyday, into a shady place
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mr.biscuitdoughhead
* Dog in the Sand *

USA
1729 Posts

Posted - 08/19/2007 :  12:11:56  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I thought keeping your metabolism going helped you lose weight.

Or summat.


Special favors come in 31 flavors / We're out of mint so pass the lifesavers.
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =

United Kingdom
17125 Posts

Posted - 08/19/2007 :  12:22:42  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I remember all this from the books I used to read when I was younger about gaining muscle mass. They said to put on wieght (that you could then turn into muscle), you had to eat less more often, rather than more less often.


I'd walk her everyday, into a shady place
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jimmy
= Cult of Ray =

USA
876 Posts

Posted - 08/19/2007 :  13:32:45  Show Profile  Visit jimmy's Homepage  Reply with Quote

So what does everyone here weigh?

I'm 6'1", about 183 pounds, size 12 shoe, 32" waist, I wear x-large size shirts.

check out my friend's paintings at http://myspace.com/landspeedsong
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jimmy
= Cult of Ray =

USA
876 Posts

Posted - 08/19/2007 :  13:38:24  Show Profile  Visit jimmy's Homepage  Reply with Quote

also, I measured my penis with my "Raspberry Beret" 45 and it was the same length. I'm not sure if that's average or not.

check out my friend's paintings at http://myspace.com/landspeedsong
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coastline
> Teenager of the Year <

USA
3111 Posts

Posted - 08/19/2007 :  13:43:30  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Is that a single or an EP, jimmy?


Please pardon me, for these my wrongs.
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jimmy
= Cult of Ray =

USA
876 Posts

Posted - 08/19/2007 :  14:20:24  Show Profile  Visit jimmy's Homepage  Reply with Quote
single, with "She's Always In My Hair" as the B-side.

check out my friend's paintings at http://myspace.com/landspeedsong
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coastline
> Teenager of the Year <

USA
3111 Posts

Posted - 08/19/2007 :  15:05:54  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I wasn't talking about the record.


Please pardon me, for these my wrongs.
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