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coastline
> Teenager of the Year <

USA
3111 Posts

Posted - 06/27/2007 :  08:35:04  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Is anybody else a fan of Tom Swifties? They're "phrase(s) in which a quoted sentence is linked by a pun to the manner in which it is represented as having been said" (I'm quoting Wikipedia). Well, that's confusing. Here are a few examples. Feel free to write your own and post them here.

"They had to amputate them both at the ankles," Tom said defeatedly.
"I manufacture tabletops," said Tom counterproductively.
"I used to be a pilot," Tom explained.
"I can't remember what I was supposed to buy," said Tom listlessly.
"I unclogged the drain with a vacuum cleaner," Tom said succinctly.

And my favorite of all-time:

"--. --- --- -.. -... -.-- .," Tom said remorsefully.


Please pardon me, for these my wrongs.

Llamadance
> Teenager of the Year <

United Kingdom
2543 Posts

Posted - 06/27/2007 :  09:01:47  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
"I swallowed a pair of glasses", Tom said introspectively


No, I don't know that atheists should be considered as citizens, nor should they be considered patriots. This is one nation under God George Bush snr
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shineoftheever
> Teenager of the Year <

Canada
4307 Posts

Posted - 06/27/2007 :  09:26:15  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
"i used to eat monocles," Tom said retrospectively.


The waxworks were an immensely eloquent dissertation on the wonderful ordinariness of mankind.
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shineoftheever
> Teenager of the Year <

Canada
4307 Posts

Posted - 06/27/2007 :  09:27:34  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
"the drain is clogged!" Tom said gratefully.


The waxworks were an immensely eloquent dissertation on the wonderful ordinariness of mankind.
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darwin
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<

USA
5454 Posts

Posted - 06/27/2007 :  09:29:10  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
"My coffee is too hot!", Tom steamed.
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Carl
- A 'Fifth' Catholic -

Ireland
11546 Posts

Posted - 06/27/2007 :  09:33:56  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
"I'm angry!", Tom raged.

I haven't gotten the hang of it yet.

"Aw yeah, that's the good stuff!"
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Llamadance
> Teenager of the Year <

United Kingdom
2543 Posts

Posted - 06/27/2007 :  09:48:11  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
"I catalogue all my bowel movements", Tom said anally.


No, I don't know that atheists should be considered as citizens, nor should they be considered patriots. This is one nation under God George Bush snr
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coastline
> Teenager of the Year <

USA
3111 Posts

Posted - 06/27/2007 :  09:49:28  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I expected Carl to be the master of these, but that one's not quite right. I give you 24 hours, Carl, and you'll be slaying us, I'm sure.

"I have a delivery of shoes for the prisoners," said Tom consolingly.

EDIT: Llama is the king. Forget Carl.


Please pardon me, for these my wrongs.

Edited by - coastline on 06/27/2007 09:49:55
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Llamadance
> Teenager of the Year <

United Kingdom
2543 Posts

Posted - 06/27/2007 :  09:51:05  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
"I eat up castles for breakfast", Tom said fortuitously.


No, I don't know that atheists should be considered as citizens, nor should they be considered patriots. This is one nation under God George Bush snr
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coastline
> Teenager of the Year <

USA
3111 Posts

Posted - 06/27/2007 :  09:54:03  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
"Boy, these blintzes are good!" said Tom judiciously.


Please pardon me, for these my wrongs.
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darwin
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<

USA
5454 Posts

Posted - 06/27/2007 :  09:55:09  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
"I love Stallone movies", Tom said slyly.
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coastline
> Teenager of the Year <

USA
3111 Posts

Posted - 06/27/2007 :  09:55:54  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Good one, Darwin.

"Now, when did I have that lobotomy?" Tom asked absentmindedly.


Please pardon me, for these my wrongs.
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Carl
- A 'Fifth' Catholic -

Ireland
11546 Posts

Posted - 06/27/2007 :  09:59:28  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
"I don't get starmekittens sig", the n00b said idiotically.

"Aw yeah, that's the good stuff!"
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darwin
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<

USA
5454 Posts

Posted - 06/27/2007 :  10:02:08  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
"Get me out of this sand!", Tom said quickly.
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Llamadance
> Teenager of the Year <

United Kingdom
2543 Posts

Posted - 06/27/2007 :  10:03:55  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
"I really love to go camping", Tom said intensely.


No, I don't know that atheists should be considered as citizens, nor should they be considered patriots. This is one nation under God George Bush snr
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PixieSteve
> Teenager of the Year <

Poland
4698 Posts

Posted - 06/27/2007 :  10:09:55  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
"I'm the singer in the Pixies," Tom said frankly.

"Idiot" is just her sig.

Edited by - PixieSteve on 06/27/2007 10:11:24
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shineoftheever
> Teenager of the Year <

Canada
4307 Posts

Posted - 06/27/2007 :  10:13:45  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
"did father murphy grab my hard-on during 'ode to joy'?" Tom inquired rigidly.

that's got be called a super-swiftie or something.


The waxworks were an immensely eloquent dissertation on the wonderful ordinariness of mankind.
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shineoftheever
> Teenager of the Year <

Canada
4307 Posts

Posted - 06/27/2007 :  10:15:11  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
"i'm an insomniac," Tom said restlessly.


The waxworks were an immensely eloquent dissertation on the wonderful ordinariness of mankind.
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PixieSteve
> Teenager of the Year <

Poland
4698 Posts

Posted - 06/27/2007 :  10:19:06  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
"I've lost my sex drive" said tom placidly

"Idiot" is just her sig.
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shineoftheever
> Teenager of the Year <

Canada
4307 Posts

Posted - 06/27/2007 :  10:21:45  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
another super-swiftie:

"sorry to interrupt, but i feel like a broken bicycle wheel," Tom spoke out of turn.


The waxworks were an immensely eloquent dissertation on the wonderful ordinariness of mankind.
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coastline
> Teenager of the Year <

USA
3111 Posts

Posted - 06/27/2007 :  10:26:29  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
"I wish I had Nedra Volz's initials," Tom said enviously.


Please pardon me, for these my wrongs.
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PixieSteve
> Teenager of the Year <

Poland
4698 Posts

Posted - 06/27/2007 :  10:30:02  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
"I snuck a bomb on that plane," Tom said craftily.

"Idiot" is just her sig.
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PixieSteve
> Teenager of the Year <

Poland
4698 Posts

Posted - 06/27/2007 :  10:31:44  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
"I'm lost!" Tom said amazed.

"Idiot" is just her sig.
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Llamadance
> Teenager of the Year <

United Kingdom
2543 Posts

Posted - 06/27/2007 :  10:33:33  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
"my penis is pesticide free", Tom said organically


No, I don't know that atheists should be considered as citizens, nor should they be considered patriots. This is one nation under God George Bush snr
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PixieSteve
> Teenager of the Year <

Poland
4698 Posts

Posted - 06/27/2007 :  10:35:19  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
"Petrol smells fucking awful," Tom said crudely.

"Idiot" is just her sig.
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coastline
> Teenager of the Year <

USA
3111 Posts

Posted - 06/27/2007 :  10:38:54  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
" " Tom said blankly.


Please pardon me, for these my wrongs.
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PixieSteve
> Teenager of the Year <

Poland
4698 Posts

Posted - 06/27/2007 :  10:52:18  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
"Fuck you," Tom said boldly.

"Idiot" is just her sig.
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Llamadance
> Teenager of the Year <

United Kingdom
2543 Posts

Posted - 06/27/2007 :  10:57:40  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
"I lined the criminals up one by one", Tom said inconsequentially.


No, I don't know that atheists should be considered as citizens, nor should they be considered patriots. This is one nation under God George Bush snr
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PixieSteve
> Teenager of the Year <

Poland
4698 Posts

Posted - 06/27/2007 :  11:00:20  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
"heads or tails?" tom asked flippantly

"Idiot" is just her sig.

Edited by - PixieSteve on 06/27/2007 11:01:05
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PixieSteve
> Teenager of the Year <

Poland
4698 Posts

Posted - 06/27/2007 :  11:10:40  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
"i wish i had hair as sleek as him," tom said jealously...

"Idiot" is just her sig.
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shineoftheever
> Teenager of the Year <

Canada
4307 Posts

Posted - 06/27/2007 :  11:22:43  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
"no mister customs agent, i'm not bringing any foreign insects into canada" tom said unimportantly.


The waxworks were an immensely eloquent dissertation on the wonderful ordinariness of mankind.
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Llamadance
> Teenager of the Year <

United Kingdom
2543 Posts

Posted - 06/27/2007 :  12:32:22  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
"hmmm, he's the spitting image of my brother", Tom said phlegmatically


No, I don't know that atheists should be considered as citizens, nor should they be considered patriots. This is one nation under God George Bush snr
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coastline
> Teenager of the Year <

USA
3111 Posts

Posted - 06/27/2007 :  12:44:41  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by PixieSteve

"i wish i had hair as sleek as him," tom said jealously...

"Idiot" is just her sig.

Best one yet. At first, I didn't get it. Now I keep going back to it, saying it out loud. Gel-less-ly.


Please pardon me, for these my wrongs.
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PixieSteve
> Teenager of the Year <

Poland
4698 Posts

Posted - 06/27/2007 :  12:50:35  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
"There's no room to mosh, " Tom said pitifully

"Idiot" is just her sig.
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BLT
> Teenager of the Year <

South Sandwich Islands
4204 Posts

Posted - 06/27/2007 :  12:56:23  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
"I aim to please," Tom cocksurely declared.
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Rico Ricardo
- FB Fan -

United Kingdom
33 Posts

Posted - 06/27/2007 :  12:58:23  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
"I'm shit at Tom swifties" said Tom Shitily.

Live and let live
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