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misterwoe
= Cult of Ray =
Greece
675 Posts |
 Posted - 12/13/2006 : 12:13:03
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Okay. I'm getting my first full-body massage on Friday. Any "tips?"
Pablo Picasso never got called an asshole. |
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kathryn
~ Selkie Bride ~
Belgium
15320 Posts |
Posted - 12/13/2006 : 14:28:16
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Relax. Breathe. Don't talk much. Tell the person if they are kneading you too hard or if anything hurts. Also tell them about your body -- past injuries, tender spots, etc. And tell your friends to stop snickering when you announce you're getting a massage -- there is nothing sexual or hanky panky or funny about a theraputic massage. Massages rock. Enjoy.
I’m the only one who can say that this light is mine
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Daisy Girl
~ Abstract Brain ~
Belize
5305 Posts |
Posted - 12/13/2006 : 14:38:54
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Massages are awesome. K has some really good advice. Be ready to be completely naked. Don't worry they move the sheet around so they won't see anything. They might ask you what kind of essential oil you like as far a scents go. They might also ask you what style of massage to give you. I always just say do what you think is best and that always works.
Have fun Misterwoe! |
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floop
= Wannabe Volunteer =
Mexico
15297 Posts |
Posted - 12/13/2006 : 15:11:18
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| be sure and negotiate price beforehand. |
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Newo
~ Abstract Brain ~
Spain
2674 Posts |
Posted - 12/13/2006 : 15:42:16
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I started a new job as a sea turtle masseuse today. I could probably give you a good price if you got flippers and a beak can crush mussels like popcorn, Misterwoe.
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Gravy boat! Stay in the now! |
Edited by - Newo on 12/13/2006 15:43:27 |
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kathryn
~ Selkie Bride ~
Belgium
15320 Posts |
Posted - 12/13/2006 : 15:45:54
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I forgot the most important tip: NO NEW AGE MUSIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’m the only one who can say that this light is mine
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Newo
~ Abstract Brain ~
Spain
2674 Posts |
Posted - 12/13/2006 : 16:01:29
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I have a friend who couple summers ago was the only white male masseuse on the Barcelona beaches, it´s Chinese girl mafia thing. they were about to frown him off the beach when he walked up to them with squinted eyes and shouted Masakky barato like you hear them yell, they all liked him after that.
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Gravy boat! Stay in the now! |
Edited by - Newo on 12/13/2006 16:07:54 |
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misterwoe
= Cult of Ray =
Greece
675 Posts |
Posted - 12/13/2006 : 19:42:02
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quote:
Originally posted by kathryn
there is nothing sexual or hanky panky or funny about a theraputic massage. Massages rock. Enjoy.
I’m the only one who can say that this light is mine
The more sensual the better! (It's a female messuse)
Pablo Picasso never got called an asshole. |
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HeywoodJablome
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1485 Posts |
Posted - 12/13/2006 : 21:05:30
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Never be afraid of a happy ending.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
"No one cares about your shitty band." |
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 12/14/2006 : 09:09:11
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Just keep thinking of George Bush. You don't want to wake the little fella up.
Actually perhaps thinking of Bush isn't such a good diea.
 I'd walk her everyday, into a shady place
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misterwoe
= Cult of Ray =
Greece
675 Posts |
Posted - 12/14/2006 : 09:36:46
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quote:
Originally posted by Homers_pet_monkey
Just keep thinking of George Bush. You don't want to wake the little fella up.
Actually perhaps thinking of Bush isn't such a good diea.
I'd walk her everyday, into a shady place
I think it'd be funny if I grew a big rubbery one right before the massuse asked me to turn over, and then I'd turn over and have this towel tent. I'm not shy, so I don't I'd be embarassed. I guess most massuses just work around it, ignore it, wait for it go away.
But I haven't had a girlfriend in a long time because I've been so busy with my writing. The freakier things get the better.
Pablo Picasso never got called an asshole. |
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vilainde
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Niue
7443 Posts |
Posted - 12/14/2006 : 09:40:41
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quote:
Originally posted by Homers_pet_monkey
Just keep thinking of George Bush. You don't want to wake the little fella up.
Actually perhaps thinking of Bush isn't such a good diea.
Or, wank before going there.
Denis
"Pablo Picasso was never called an asshole. Not like you." |
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 12/14/2006 : 10:56:47
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quote:
Originally posted by vilainde
quote:
Originally posted by Homers_pet_monkey
Just keep thinking of George Bush. You don't want to wake the little fella up.
Actually perhaps thinking of Bush isn't such a good diea.
Or, wank before going there.
Denis
"Pablo Picasso was never called an asshole. Not like you."
Some of us can still get a hard on after cumming.
I'd walk her everyday, into a shady place
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misterwoe
= Cult of Ray =
Greece
675 Posts |
Posted - 12/14/2006 : 14:00:01
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My average down time is about thiry minutes.
Pablo Picasso never got called an asshole. |
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Carl
- A 'Fifth' Catholic -
Ireland
11546 Posts |
Posted - 12/14/2006 : 14:44:11
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quote:
Originally posted by misterwoe
Okay. I'm getting my first full-body massage on Friday. Any "tips?"
No, the masseurs keep their breasts covered. Oh, Homers, can you hear me now! |
Edited by - Carl on 12/14/2006 14:44:35 |
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misterwoe
= Cult of Ray =
Greece
675 Posts |
Posted - 12/14/2006 : 18:13:24
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quote:
Originally posted by Carl
quote:
Originally posted by misterwoe
Okay. I'm getting my first full-body massage on Friday. Any "tips?"
No, the masseurs keep their breasts covered. Oh, Homers, can you hear me now!
That's pretty good. Pretty hard to top, you nippley bastard. You're bringing the camera right?
Pablo Picasso never got called an asshole. |
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Carolynanna
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Canada
6556 Posts |
Posted - 12/15/2006 : 06:43:28
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quote:
Originally posted by Homers_pet_monkey
Just keep thinking of George Bush. You don't want to wake the little fella up.
Actually perhaps thinking of Bush isn't such a good diea.
I'd walk her everyday, into a shady place
It could be Raymond giving the massage...
__________
Aw geez, my duodenum's acting up. |
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misterwoe
= Cult of Ray =
Greece
675 Posts |
Posted - 12/15/2006 : 09:10:26
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I hope she uses massage oil. And I haven't been with a woman for so long (hint hint, ladies) that my soldier is all but garaunteed to stand at attention at some point.
If anything comical or sexual happens, I'll be sure to keep the forum "posted."
Pablo Picasso never got called an asshole. |
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vilainde
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Niue
7443 Posts |
Posted - 12/15/2006 : 09:11:21
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Awesome. Don't forget to take pictures.
Denis
"Can you hear me? I aint got shit to say." |
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coastline
> Teenager of the Year <
USA
3111 Posts |
Posted - 12/15/2006 : 11:06:15
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With FB not on tour, and the FB live section of the forum essentially inactive lately, this thread is the only thing I've had to look forward to all week. I keep wondering if OldManInACoffeeCan will show up at misterwoe's rub-down and take pictures of himself there with Rich Gilbert and various Nashville dudes.
I spend too much time on this forum.
 I could not find my honeycomb. |
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Carl
- A 'Fifth' Catholic -
Ireland
11546 Posts |
Posted - 12/15/2006 : 11:38:27
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quote:
Originally posted by misterwoe
If anything comical or sexual happens, I'll be sure to keep the forum "posted."
If not, I'll just come up with some bad jokes to fill in.
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 12/17/2006 : 05:35:41
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Can you not find any large articles to post on this subject Carl?
I'd walk her everyday, into a shady place
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Carl
- A 'Fifth' Catholic -
Ireland
11546 Posts |
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coastline
> Teenager of the Year <
USA
3111 Posts |
Posted - 12/17/2006 : 20:28:53
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Whatever happened with this?
I could not find my honeycomb. |
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Carl
- A 'Fifth' Catholic -
Ireland
11546 Posts |
Posted - 12/18/2006 : 13:58:04
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Whatever happened with 'Whatever happened with this?'?
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ObfuscateByWill
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1887 Posts |
Posted - 12/18/2006 : 14:06:27
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Maybe he's in the lockup.
 *Release the bats! |
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Carolynanna
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Canada
6556 Posts |
Posted - 12/19/2006 : 09:18:03
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quote:
Originally posted by Carolynanna
quote:
Originally posted by Homers_pet_monkey
Just keep thinking of George Bush. You don't want to wake the little fella up.
Actually perhaps thinking of Bush isn't such a good diea.
I'd walk her everyday, into a shady place
It could be Raymond giving the massage...
__________
Aw geez, my duodenum's acting up.
Dean I am so disappointed. For shame, for shame.
Maybe I should've just said, I think it moved.
__________
Aw geez, my duodenum's acting up. |
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floop
= Wannabe Volunteer =
Mexico
15297 Posts |
Posted - 12/19/2006 : 12:22:52
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the high ups got us massages at work today as a treat. i feel like a new man
at least that's what your mom said |
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 12/20/2006 : 04:22:50
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quote:
Originally posted by floop
the high ups got us massages at work today as a treat. i feel like a new man
at least that's what your mom said
I am sure you do, but one massage a day is enough.
I'd walk her everyday, into a shady place
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prozacrat
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1186 Posts |
Posted - 12/20/2006 : 07:05:22
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My bandmate works for Prairie Home Companion. His office is a small 10x10ft. room. Once a week a masseuse comes in and everyone gets free massages. He came home from work the other day and said "Garrison Kiellor got a massage in my office today. ...It was... weird." Now every time I hear somebody talking about getting a professional massage I imagine my bandmate sitting at his computer with Garrison Kiellor getting a rubdown over his shoulder.
http://www.prozacrat.com
www.myspace.com/prozacrat |
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 12/20/2006 : 08:57:12
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Write a song about it then.
I'd walk her everyday, into a shady place
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Carl
- A 'Fifth' Catholic -
Ireland
11546 Posts |
Posted - 12/20/2006 : 13:03:16
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How about giving Robinson Crusoe a massage too?
 Merry Christmas! |
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prozacrat
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1186 Posts |
Posted - 12/20/2006 : 16:55:35
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We could write a song about it and then ask to perform it on Prairie Home Companion.
http://www.prozacrat.com
www.myspace.com/prozacrat |
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Topic |
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Massage Friday
