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Cult_Of_Frank
= Black Noise Maker =
Canada
11690 Posts |
 Posted - 10/02/2006 : 14:11:52
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Am I the only one who completely missed the boat on the switch from 'husband' and 'wife' to 'partner'? And now I feel like a curmudgeon complaining that this term is, while an accurate description, ridiculous in its pc-ness?
I can understand this for a one-gender union, but really, come on.
I don't know why, but it has come up thrice today and annoyed me more each time. We have words for these relationships and are quite happy with them, thank-you.
And rant.
 "Now you're officially my woman. Kudos. I can't say I don't envy you." |
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PixieSteve
> Teenager of the Year <
Poland
4698 Posts |
Posted - 10/02/2006 : 14:16:01
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and they were definitely married not just going out/business partners?
FAST_MAN RAIDER_MAN - June 19th |
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Cult_Of_Frank
= Black Noise Maker =
Canada
11690 Posts |
Posted - 10/02/2006 : 14:46:13
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Yeah, in all three cases.
I suppose my signature is ironic for this particular topic.
"Now you're officially my woman. Kudos. I can't say I don't envy you." |
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darwin
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
USA
5456 Posts |
Posted - 10/02/2006 : 15:04:00
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| If you have a pair of people that live together but you don't know them well enough to know if they're married what do you call them? And if you know they aren't married what do you call them? Boyfriend or girlfriend doesn't work if they're older or been together a long time or have kids. |
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Cult_Of_Frank
= Black Noise Maker =
Canada
11690 Posts |
Posted - 10/02/2006 : 15:29:32
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All true, but what if they're married? Do they still get called 'partners'?
You're right, though, I've struggled over the common-law spouse thing for a while. I've noticed that older people still seem to refer to these people as girl/boy friends, silly as it may be so I guess that's what I'd use there.
Speaking of unnecessary things to be annoyed by, the term 'girlfriends' is up there for me. As in a straight girl saying "me and my girlfriend(s) bla bla bla". Unless the gender is vital to the story, I fail to see the need to specify.
Oh and I hate being told "I'm gonna' go pee".
I guess this is becoming a pet peeves thread. So go on, list the stupid things that annoy you but probably shouldn't.
"Now you're officially my woman. Kudos. I can't say I don't envy you." |
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darwin
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
USA
5456 Posts |
Posted - 10/02/2006 : 15:35:41
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I think if you don't know if they're married you might call them partners.
I know a couple who aren't married but act insulted if you refer their "partner" rather than "wife" or "husband". My attitude is have the wedding (or marriage license) if that's what you want to be called. |
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BLT
> Teenager of the Year <
South Sandwich Islands
4204 Posts |
Posted - 10/02/2006 : 15:51:08
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| Whenever you're forced into using the term "partner," say it like John Wayne. That will deter them. |
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Erebus
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1834 Posts |
Posted - 10/02/2006 : 17:06:54
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quote:
Originally posted by darwin
Boyfriend or girlfriend doesn't work if they're older or been together a long time or have kids.
An ex-boss of mine, about sixty years old, referred to his long-time companion as his "lady friend", which seemed appropriate to me. Not that that implies "gentleman friend", which sounds awkward.
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darwin
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
USA
5456 Posts |
Posted - 10/02/2006 : 17:10:00
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Lady friend seems odd (or even girlfriend) if someone has been living with someone for a long time. But, if you referred to the person as your partner, I bet a bunch people would think, "I didn't know X was gay."
"Significant other" is another option, but equally stupid. |
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kathryn
~ Selkie Bride ~
Belgium
15320 Posts |
Posted - 10/02/2006 : 17:33:35
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Unless it's tennis or a business venture or a crime, I refuse to use the term. It feels like I'm being pidgeonholed into PC talk.
I’m the only one who can say that this light is mine
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Carolynanna
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Canada
6556 Posts |
Posted - 10/02/2006 : 17:39:13
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Case of the mondays Dean?
You even said "fuck" in your other thread! 
__________
Aw geez, my duodenum's acting up. |
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Cult_Of_Frank
= Black Noise Maker =
Canada
11690 Posts |
Posted - 10/02/2006 : 23:53:48
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I know, sorry. It was a twisted week and a long weekend (not the good kind of long weekend, either - that's this weekend). But I think BLT and you have it right - don't get angry, just make fun. Difficult to do to the CBC, but I'll find a way. Oh yes.
"Now you're officially my woman. Kudos. I can't say I don't envy you." |
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Cheeseman1000
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Iceland
8201 Posts |
Posted - 10/03/2006 : 01:26:19
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quote:
Originally posted by darwin
Lady friend seems odd (or even girlfriend) if someone has been living with someone for a long time. But, if you referred to the person as your partner, I bet a bunch people would think, "I didn't know X was gay."
"Significant other" is another option, but equally stupid.
"Special lady"
 Hail to the king, baby! |
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 10/03/2006 : 01:48:26
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You use spouse if they are married, partner if they are just 'going out' or engaged.
That's official.
 I'd walk her everyday, into a shady place
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hammerhands
* Dog in the Sand *
Canada
1594 Posts |
Posted - 10/03/2006 : 04:29:41
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This debate shows a need to define everything.
Give it up.
You would be less anxious if you asked what the relationship was, let the subject suggest the vocabulary. (Implications of actual communication and, ack, personal knowledge!)
I, today, have less worry ... that I may offend someone. Or at least I want to live closer to this ideal.
This contemporary example: obnoxious "ethical" "moral" "PC" reporter, who I have avoided reading for a year or more, wrote an article a long time ago that has stayed in my subconscious stating how terrible "no problem" is, sometimes offensive to those of a more mannered age, in response to "thank you". To me, 'ts no problem, eh?
Today I committed a small unprovoked act of decency, was thanked and replied, "no problem." And then I thought I could have possibly offended, and then that the person probably wouldn't want to be considered old, and then "If I was truly decent I would have helped load her vehicle" but you wouldn't want to suggest a perception of weakness or induce anxiety.
(I was on the clock and rushed anyways!)
I'm generally considerate, and polite in my own fashion, and I'm not going to conform to some old biddy's sensibilities.
Now get out of my head lady. |
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Erebus
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1834 Posts |
Posted - 10/03/2006 : 08:51:29
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What ever happened to "ball and chain"? Or "latest squeeze"?
I too have thought about "no problem". "I didn't say it was a problem, asshole. I said 'Thank you'."
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Cheeseman1000
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Iceland
8201 Posts |
Posted - 10/03/2006 : 08:57:04
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"Trouble and strife"
Hail to the king, baby! |
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speedy_m
= Frankofile =
Canada
3581 Posts |
Posted - 10/03/2006 : 10:10:29
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There's also "no trouble" and "no worries", I hear those a lot. I have no problem with them.
he's back jack smoking crack find him if you want to get found
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Edited by - speedy_m on 10/03/2006 10:11:07 |
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 10/03/2006 : 10:31:02
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I always use 'no worries'. I picked it up from my time in Oz.
I'd walk her everyday, into a shady place
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hammerhands
* Dog in the Sand *
Canada
1594 Posts |
Posted - 10/03/2006 : 11:24:02
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quote:
Originally posted by Erebus
What ever happened to "ball and chain"? Or "latest squeeze"?
I am around people of a certain age who will ask "How's your old lady?" I think it's all in the delivery, they're truly comfortable and natural with it and therefore not galling.
"I didn't say it was a problem, asshole!" That's great, I worried that 'no problem' would be elaborated as 'look, this truly was too a small gesture to be thanked for, so next time don't use it as an excuse to recognize my humanity.'
quote:
Originally posted by speedy_m
There's also "no trouble" and "no worries", I hear those a lot. I have no problem with them.
No worries always sounds like "he's hip, he's cool, he's 45."
'No problem' to me is an abbreviated "You're welcome, ma'am, I am always pleased to be of assistance." I am currently more confident in my delivery and if it's irritating to people like the PC reporter, excellent. |
Edited by - hammerhands on 10/03/2006 11:25:32 |
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kathryn
~ Selkie Bride ~
Belgium
15320 Posts |
Posted - 10/03/2006 : 16:26:28
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All good. Eeeeww. It's not all good.
I’m the only one who can say that this light is mine
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PixieSteve
> Teenager of the Year <
Poland
4698 Posts |
Posted - 10/03/2006 : 17:03:29
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so what's this thread about now? i don't like when people say "i could care less"
FAST_MAN RAIDER_MAN - June 19th |
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Carl
- A 'Fifth' Catholic -
Ireland
11546 Posts |
Posted - 10/03/2006 : 17:34:13
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I could care less that you think that.
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Cult_Of_Frank
= Black Noise Maker =
Canada
11690 Posts |
Posted - 10/03/2006 : 18:19:16
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Let's just say it's about nothing, kind of like Seinfeld for forums. Suuuuuree...
"Now you're officially my woman. Kudos. I can't say I don't envy you." |
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Daisy Girl
~ Abstract Brain ~
Belize
5305 Posts |
Posted - 10/04/2006 : 04:02:11
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For awhile years ago I went around calling my husband my partner. But a lot of people got confused and thought I was gay, so I quit using that to refer to my husband to avoid any confusion.
But I think it's ok for people to call it what ever they want. In terms of invitations, it makes sense- in stead of saying bring your significant other, boy friend, girlfriend, date, partner, husband or wife you can just say partner and make it more simple that way. |
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tisasawath
= Cult of Ray =
Wallis and Futuna Islands
783 Posts |
Posted - 10/04/2006 : 04:51:48
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how about "Your Complement" (pronounced in a french-ey way), how pc is that?
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AAAAWWWWWRRRIIGGHHTTTTT !! ! |
Edited by - tisasawath on 10/04/2006 04:54:15 |
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PixieSteve
> Teenager of the Year <
Poland
4698 Posts |
Posted - 10/04/2006 : 04:55:44
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i like political correctness. if there wasn't pc then loads of things wouldn't be as funny to say.
FAST_MAN RAIDER_MAN - June 19th |
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 10/04/2006 : 04:56:35
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quote:
Originally posted by Daisy Girl
For awhile years ago I went around calling my husband my partner. But a lot of people got confused and thought I was gay,
Why? Does he look like a girl?
I'd walk her everyday, into a shady place
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Cult_Of_Frank
= Black Noise Maker =
Canada
11690 Posts |
Posted - 10/04/2006 : 07:23:16
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Why would you call him your partner when he's your husband, though? Of course people are going to wonder what the heck you're talking about... if you avoid the usual words for such things people assume that the usual words somehow don't describe it. Words have definitions so that they mean the same thing to all of us, and a term like partner is such a general term.
Oh, and if I was dating a girl and she referred to me as her partner, she'd be dumped faster than Kim Campbell. Unless we were working on some sort of project together.
Come to think of it, such brash statements are probably why I'm still single.
"Now you're officially my woman. Kudos. I can't say I don't envy you." |
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 10/04/2006 : 09:15:53
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quote:
Originally posted by Cult_Of_Frank
Oh, and if I was dating a girl and she referred to me as her partner, she'd be dumped faster than Kim Campbell. Unless we were working on some sort of project together.
"Now you're officially my woman. Kudos. I can't say I don't envy you."
You were dating Kim Campbell?
Anyway Dean, I am not sure playing 'hide the sausage' counts as a project.
I'd walk her everyday, into a shady place
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Cult_Of_Frank
= Black Noise Maker =
Canada
11690 Posts |
Posted - 10/04/2006 : 10:54:26
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It was more of a 'peek-a-boo' game.
"Now you're officially my woman. Kudos. I can't say I don't envy you." |
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Daisy Girl
~ Abstract Brain ~
Belize
5305 Posts |
Posted - 10/04/2006 : 15:57:40
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quote:
Originally posted by Cult_Of_Frank
Why would you call him your partner when he's your husband, though? Of course people are going to wonder what the heck you're talking about... if you avoid the usual words for such things people assume that the usual words somehow don't describe it. Words have definitions so that they mean the same thing to all of us, and a term like partner is such a general term.
Oh, and if I was dating a girl and she referred to me as her partner, she'd be dumped faster than Kim Campbell. Unless we were working on some sort of project together.
Come to think of it, such brash statements are probably why I'm still single.
"Now you're officially my woman. Kudos. I can't say I don't envy you."
LOL... well i started calling him my partner b/c someone I worked with. ok this is my sappy side coming out but he called his wife his partner back in the mid 90's. I thought it was very sweet. I used to call my husband that because I thought it was short for life partner. It is genderless and is more focused I think of the whole concept of love and the comittment and not a certain role with certain connotations. I am a sap!!! |
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pixiestu
> Teenager of the Year <
United Kingdom
2564 Posts |
Posted - 10/04/2006 : 16:14:31
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There's nothing wrong with using 'partner'. This thread seems like a big deal about nothing. The word is an accurate discription.
Also, why is it considered PC? I would have thought that terms like 'wife', 'husband', 'boyfriend', 'girlfriend' etc. would have to be frowned upon (or 'un-PC') for 'partner' to be PC in comparison. It's just an alternative description.
"The arc of triumph" |
Edited by - pixiestu on 10/04/2006 16:17:10 |
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Partners
