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jimmy
= Cult of Ray =
USA
876 Posts |
 Posted - 08/13/2006 : 12:26:32
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Back during graduation season, I was listening to a radio talk show and the host was talking about commencement speeches and he asked people to call in with what they thought was the most important thing they had learned since entering the workforce.
I couldn't listen long, but one thing the host said seemed true:
"People at work are not your friend"
I think it's easy to forget that a lot of people act all friendly and talk to you, not because they like you, but because they're bored or they're digging for gossip.
Still, I've made a lot of real friends at places I've worked.
Anyway, what advice would you give to someone starting out, or what is the biggest lesson you've learned since you became an adult? |
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Broken Face
-= Forum Pistolero =-
USA
5155 Posts |
Posted - 08/13/2006 : 13:26:09
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Save more money than you think you need to. It's always good to have a nestegg building...
-Brian - http://bvsrant.blogspot.com |
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danjersey
> Teenager of the Year <
USA
2792 Posts |
Posted - 08/13/2006 : 20:56:37
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trust in the space of your skull.
smile. |
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Cult_Of_Frank
= Black Noise Maker =
Canada
11687 Posts |
Posted - 08/13/2006 : 21:04:41
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Life will go on and things will work out if you are flexible and let them.
 "No man remains quite what he was when he recognizes himself." |
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floop
= Wannabe Volunteer =
Mexico
15297 Posts |
Posted - 08/13/2006 : 22:14:40
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i think the most important thing is to make sure that you're pursuing what you want to do. even if what you want to do changes.. i know so many people who hate their jobs, but they just stay in them because it's easier than doing something. if you're going to spend most of your waking life doing something, try to make it something you enjoy.
also, don't have sex with your boss' daughter
"i own Mailbu." |
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TarTar
* Dog in the Sand *
1965 Posts |
Posted - 08/13/2006 : 23:10:06
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I've worked nothing but shit jobs with no prerequisites in my time, so I can't say anything for a workplace where people have a common background to what brought them there, but at this point, I go numb when I walk into work. Drained of any inspiration the whole time there, completely out-of-body, yet I'm off daydreaming about the good life aka my slackerdom the entire time I'm there. I can get along with most who are at least easygoing but I don't seek friendship, though the occasional out-of-work hang out happens, and it usually involves me drinking myself silly so I can't say I have a firm grasp on fraternizing outside of work these days.
My life is dirt but you seem to make it cleaner... reduce my felony to a misdemeanor |
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ScottP
= Cult of Ray =
USA
618 Posts |
Posted - 08/14/2006 : 00:10:08
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Whoever said, "people at work are not your friends", is a grouchy old cunt. Some of my best friends are people I have met at the workplace. That guy got ratted on recently or something.
My advice to my 14 year old son is simple:
1. Be your own man.
2. It's easy going around being negative, bitching about how fucked up things are, blaming others, scowling at the world for no reason except for the fact that you are a negative piece of shit person. That's easy. But, putting forth the effort to see the positive side of things not only makes YOU feel better, but others around you will also be positively effected by you and that's a key to success. Being friendly and positive will take you places.
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benji
> Teenager of the Year <
New Zealand
3426 Posts |
Posted - 08/14/2006 : 00:23:45
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it's important to realise that the only common denominator throughout your working life is yourself.
so no point blaming others for the shortcomings of what you're currently doing. as floop said. if it sux, change something.
and i think it's silly saying that people at work are not your friends.
when you realise that you are likely to spend more time with your work collegues than your partner/children etc, it seems silly not to try to make some friends to make the entire experience more enjoyable.
all i can say, thank god for polio! brian |
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 08/14/2006 : 04:50:21
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Yeah whoever told you that was an ass. I mean you may not ever meet any real friends at work, but there is a good chance you will.
Oh and vote Quimby!
 I'd walk her everyday, into a shady place
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whoreatthedoor
> Teenager of the Year <
Spain
2873 Posts |
Posted - 08/14/2006 : 05:10:53
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Seems not to be a popular opinion here, but I think he's right.
You can only call them friends if you meet them out of work.
This time we ride roller coasters into the ocean
We feel no emotion as we spiral down to the world |
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 08/14/2006 : 05:13:04
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Erm, why?
I'd walk her everyday, into a shady place
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whoreatthedoor
> Teenager of the Year <
Spain
2873 Posts |
Posted - 08/14/2006 : 05:17:53
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I think it's easy to forget that a lot of people act all friendly and talk to you, not because they like you, but because they're bored or they're digging for gossip.
Or maybe it's because my job is full of bitches.
This time we ride roller coasters into the ocean
We feel no emotion as we spiral down to the world |
Edited by - whoreatthedoor on 08/14/2006 05:21:46 |
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Cheeseman1000
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Iceland
8201 Posts |
Posted - 08/14/2006 : 05:53:53
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quote:
Originally posted by whoreatthedoor
Seems not to be a popular opinion here, but I think he's right.
You can only call them friends if you meet them out of work.
This time we ride roller coasters into the ocean
We feel no emotion as we spiral down to the world
People at work are the only reason I stay there. It'd be a pretty dull place otherwise. Some of my best buddies I know from work.
 Hail to the king, baby! |
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Broken Face
-= Forum Pistolero =-
USA
5155 Posts |
Posted - 08/14/2006 : 06:44:42
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I don't have many friends where i work, but i don't mind. I work, mainly, by myself with a few visits a day from co-workers who are pleasant enough, but the youngest staff member besides me is a good 24 years older than i am, so it's somewhat hard to have real friends here. But it works for me, so i don't really mind.
Piece of advice #2 - Always have a back up plan vis a vis work.
-Brian - http://bvsrant.blogspot.com |
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KimStanleyRobinson
* Dog in the Sand *
1972 Posts |
Posted - 08/14/2006 : 09:33:26
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"since becoming an adult"
i love that.
when did that happen?
oh right - last year.
i agree with the "be your own man" type statements here...and agree that some people will act friendly just because they are trying to get somewhere at work...but sometimes you will meet people who will become your friends.
be open to them and be intuitive and you can spot the bullshitters. the point is not to NEED them too much.
oh and hey scottp, its not easy going around bitching and being a piece of shit person. its hard fucking work reminding everyone how hard they've made my life.
lest they forget.
for me, sincerity is the top value. if you're not happy, don't gladhand me and act like it...insincerity is fertilizer for bitterness. |
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 08/14/2006 : 09:52:25
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Or did this bring you back?
Either way, nice to see you again Kim.
I'd walk her everyday, into a shady place
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ScottP
= Cult of Ray =
USA
618 Posts |
Posted - 08/14/2006 : 10:18:00
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I think you should expect honesty and sincerity from your true friends but that's alot to ask of workmates, bosses, strangers. I mean, just because your boss is an unhappy narcisist and reminds you of Jefrey Dahmer, should you tell him that? Probably not. Nobody wants to be a kiss ass, but I think you can be tactfully positive to help make things happen for you. Besides, this is the best way to get back at the Jefrey Dahmer boss- get promoted a couple times, skip over him, and fire him yourself. Problem solved.
And yeah, being needy is not a characteristic of being your own man. |
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jimmy
= Cult of Ray =
USA
876 Posts |
Posted - 08/14/2006 : 13:39:03
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broken face- that is probably the best advice anyone can get, it's something my parents always told me and they've always been good with money. Even if you can only afford to save a tiny amount every week, you should do it, because it adds up and you'll always need it down the road.
cult of frank- You're right. I know it's a cliche to say it..but attitude really is everything, and no matter what your problems are, they're usually gonna work themselves out fine. However things turn out, I always try to find some good points; that way I'm usually happy.
as far as " people at work not being your friends " I think what he was trying to say was to not mistake friendliness for real friendship-you might spend 8 hours visiting with someone and having a great time, but that doesn't mean that person would be spending all that time talking with you if they weren't stuck at work.
I've met all of my closest friends at different places I've worked at, and I know we'll be friends forever. I've also had some really good times with other co-workers, but there have been a lot of people who have talked to me for hours & we had a really good time, but basically wouldn't really care if I lived or died ( and I'm not saying that's a bad thing, that's just the way it is with work friendships sometimes ).
One really good lesson I've learned ( at work, and buying drugs, and buying drugs at work ) is this:
In general, people who are trusting are trustworthy.
People who are overly-suspicious are untrustworthy.
I'm a very trusting person, and always expect that people will do the right thing.
I've found that people who, for instance, are always worried that their girlfriend is gonna cheat on them, are worried because they themselves have cheated.
I would never rip anybody off, and when I borrow money from somebody I always pay it back on time or early. People who meet me can tell within the first 5 minutes that I'm just an innocent guy. The only people that have ever tried to screw me over have been people who were suspicious of me. Those type of people are always suspicious because they have bad intentions themselves. |
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ScottP
= Cult of Ray =
USA
618 Posts |
Posted - 08/15/2006 : 11:42:39
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Sounds like you already have it all figured out, Jimmy. Why you wasting my time? Just kidding.
Quit doing smack is probably some good life advice too. |
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