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jimmy
= Cult of Ray =
USA
876 Posts |
 Posted - 05/20/2006 : 18:20:02
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Imagine you could have sex with any celebrity you wanted, but only if you have sex with a celebrity who is the same sex as you. ( If you're gay, just do the opposite. )
For the girl, I'd have Claire Danes, and the guy would be Johnny Knoxville.
"Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you." JOHN 15:14 |
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Doog
* Dog in the Sand *
United Kingdom
1220 Posts |
Posted - 05/20/2006 : 18:29:38
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Lily Savage. For both.
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Nimrod's Son: tribute to t'Pixies - Live @ The Venue, New Cross, London - Fri 2nd June
www.myspace.com/doog = solo choons
www.myspace.com/casabonitaband = noisey stuff
www.myspace.com/weevilknievel = surfrockpop geekery
www.myspace.com/ukpixiestribute = Nimrod's Son |
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Carl
- A 'Fifth' Catholic -
Ireland
11546 Posts |
Posted - 05/20/2006 : 18:34:16
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The guy would be Chuck Norris. The girl would be Chuck Norris with a wig after inhaling some helium.
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ScottP
= Cult of Ray =
USA
618 Posts |
Posted - 05/20/2006 : 20:47:16
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| Wow. Would it have to be intercourse? Or just some kissing? |
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jimmy
= Cult of Ray =
USA
876 Posts |
Posted - 05/20/2006 : 21:18:31
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Kissing, intercourse, practically the same thing. If you can do one, you can do the other.
But then, I wouldn't have anal sex with anyone. This isn't a moral stand; I just don't consider the ass a sexual organ.
"Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you." JOHN 15:14 |
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Erebus
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1834 Posts |
Posted - 05/21/2006 : 00:18:12
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quote:
Originally posted by jimmy
Kissing, intercourse, practically the same thing.
If you'll pardon me for being so predictable, "depends upon what the meaning of 'is' is." And, regarding not considering "the ass a sexual organ", jimmy, you sound like a Vatican recommending celibacy or monogamy: millions must be doing otherwise for some reason. It's not like a Pope is gonna be an expert on sex.
perfection could use an upgrade |
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glacial906
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1738 Posts |
Posted - 05/21/2006 : 00:42:22
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Thanks for sharing your affinity for anal, Erebus.
Signature censored by forum moderators. |
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jimmy
= Cult of Ray =
USA
876 Posts |
Posted - 05/21/2006 : 01:24:52
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Erebus, I never meant for you to think that I disapprove of your way of having sex. If you want to have anal sex I'm right behind you all the way in a figurative sense.
I'm sorry, really, I'm only speaking for myself and what I'm interested in. My objection is more medical than anything else- it just seems unwise to upset the delicate balance of the human body. Why make a body part do something that it most likely doesn't want to do? With your hand or your foot, when there's a problem you can see it immediately and get it fixed.
But your ass is back there, out of sight, doing it's job; and if you decide to throw a party in there, well, parties sometimes get out of hand and things get broken...you might not even know something is wrong until the next day when you get up from the dinner table and someone points out the big bloodstain you left on your chair.
"Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you." JOHN 15:14 |
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Erebus
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1834 Posts |
Posted - 05/21/2006 : 01:35:01
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quote:
Originally posted by glacial906
Thanks for sharing your affinity for anal, Erebus.
Heh, ain't talking so much affinity as I am simple experience.
perfection could use an upgrade |
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Suicide_Samurai
= Cult of Ray =
United Kingdom
431 Posts |
Posted - 05/21/2006 : 01:37:42
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Okay...I'd be slightly reluctant bumming a guy, but if I had to...I would say...Hilary Swank circa Boys Don't Cry for the girl...and...River Phoenix for the guy. Or maybe the guy who plays Kiriyama in Battle Royale...hmm, I dunno, there's so many...
Oh, and I'd do both of them up the wrongun.
Actually...
Scratch the chick. |
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jimmy
= Cult of Ray =
USA
876 Posts |
Posted - 05/21/2006 : 01:39:59
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Erebus, I just looked at my last post and my first line seems kind of snotty and mocking which was not how I meant it- you seem very nice and I always enjoy your posts; if I were talking to you instead of writing you'd see me smiling my "just kidding" smile.
"Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you." JOHN 15:14 |
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Erebus
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1834 Posts |
Posted - 05/21/2006 : 01:44:21
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quote:
Originally posted by jimmy
Erebus, I never meant for you to think that I disapprove of your way of having sex. If you want to have anal sex I'm right behind you all the way in a figurative sense.
I'm sorry, really, I'm only speaking for myself and what I'm interested in. My objection is more medical than anything else- it just seems unwise to upset the delicate balance of the human body. Why make a body part do something that it most likely doesn't want to do?
It's probably more than an accident of nature that a balanced diet produces a turd that topologically resembles a penis.
Yes, I actually said that.
Hey, I didn't initiate the topic, though I did drink eight beers tonight. Just another way of becoming a better human being, albeit only until tomorrow. Good night.
perfection could use an upgrade |
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Erebus
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1834 Posts |
Posted - 05/21/2006 : 01:53:39
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quote:
Originally posted by jimmy
Erebus, I just looked at my last post and my first line seems kind of snotty and mocking which was not how I meant it- you seem very nice and I always enjoy your posts; if I were talking to you instead of writing you'd see me smiling my "just kidding" smile.
"Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you." JOHN 15:14
No offense taken, at all, but you may want to consult others here before concluding me "nice". Yes, I joke, but not only joke. Some of our allegedly "open minded" friends here could learn a thing or two from you.
perfection could use an upgrade |
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jimmy
= Cult of Ray =
USA
876 Posts |
Posted - 05/21/2006 : 02:19:37
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I'm gonna change my answer and go with:
Claire Danes and Josh Hartnett
Now that I think about it, I'm sure Johnny Knoxville has at least one STD.
"Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you." JOHN 15:14 |
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a guy in a rover
= Cult of Ray =
United Kingdom
535 Posts |
Posted - 05/21/2006 : 05:49:25
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Ahhh the bum hole. The natural condom.
A pig or a goat well, they wouldn’t let you be mistreated
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Cult_Of_Frank
= Black Noise Maker =
Canada
11687 Posts |
Posted - 05/21/2006 : 11:09:45
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I guess I just don't need to have sex with a celebrity enough to take on a guy as a result, which is probably a boring answer, but there you have it.
 "If we hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominos will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate." |
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ScottP
= Cult of Ray =
USA
618 Posts |
Posted - 05/21/2006 : 12:05:39
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I'd like to have sex with Beyonce Knowles, I guess. Sure, that would be nice.
As for a dude, I'd like to humiliate Tom Cruise. Maybe pee in his face and have him call me a jerk like he did to the reporter with the squirt gun. |
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Erebus
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1834 Posts |
Posted - 05/21/2006 : 12:34:18
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quote:
Originally posted by Cult_Of_Frank
I guess I just don't need to have sex with a celebrity enough to take on a guy as a result, which is probably a boring answer, but there you have it.
One has to think that if jimmy's criterion prevailed, the entire species would long since have gone bisexual, perhaps with the benefit that no universities would now have departments of women's studies.
OK, am I the only one wondering when hombre loco will accost me for politicizing every thread I possibly can? I dare say I could do it to every single thread, to the edification of all of course.
Meanwhile every crusade checks its sense of humor at the door.
perfection could use an upgrade |
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Carl
- A 'Fifth' Catholic -
Ireland
11546 Posts |
Posted - 05/21/2006 : 14:35:43
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quote:
Originally posted by Suicide_Samurai
Okay...I'd be slightly reluctant bumming a guy, but if I had to...I would say...Hilary Swank circa Boys Don't Cry for the girl
That's cheating!!
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Llamadance
> Teenager of the Year <
United Kingdom
2543 Posts |
Posted - 05/21/2006 : 14:50:21
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Mia Kirshner
Rupert Everett
Pain is temporary, quitting is forever.
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Cult_Of_Frank
= Black Noise Maker =
Canada
11687 Posts |
Posted - 05/21/2006 : 15:02:28
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quote:
Originally posted by Erebus
quote:
Originally posted by Cult_Of_Frank
I guess I just don't need to have sex with a celebrity enough to take on a guy as a result, which is probably a boring answer, but there you have it.
One has to think that if jimmy's criterion prevailed, the entire species would long since have gone bisexual, perhaps with the benefit that no universities would now have departments of women's studies.
OK, am I the only one wondering when hombre loco will accost me for politicizing every thread I possibly can? I dare say I could do it to every single thread, to the edification of all of course.
Meanwhile every crusade checks its sense of humor at the door.
perfection could use an upgrade
Yeah, I could see that. And if we could lose womens' studies and more specifically this whole divide of womens' this and mens' that and the battle-of-the-sexes mentality it would probably be worth it, too.
"If we hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominos will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate." |
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 05/22/2006 : 04:56:59
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I can't even make my mind up on the girl, let alone the guy.
 I'd walk her everyday, into a shady place
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pixiestu
> Teenager of the Year <
United Kingdom
2564 Posts |
Posted - 05/22/2006 : 05:02:57
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I can actually think of a couple of guys but no girls!
"The arc of triumph" |
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 05/22/2006 : 05:19:02
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I bet you can.
I'd walk her everyday, into a shady place
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marcus4realius
- FB Fan -
133 Posts |
Posted - 05/22/2006 : 05:47:41
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Let's just say, I'd Kill Bill, for the Female.
For the male....hmmm
I really have a problem trying to lock one down. I'm sorry but I love the vagina. I came from one. I'm constantly trying to get back there. |
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s_wrenn
* Dog in the Sand *
Ireland
1851 Posts |
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Holy Fingers
- FB Fan -
USA
149 Posts |
Posted - 05/22/2006 : 06:33:42
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The female would be Susan Sarandon. I love the "milf next door" look.
The male would be Dave Gahan (lead singer from Depeche Mode).
I don't really care what the woman looks like. I would sleep with Roseanne or Hillary Clinton if I had the chance. However the man has to be a real hottie, and not too stuck-up.
 REMEMBER THIS: Nowhere in history has an atheist taken a human life in the name of his cause. |
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pixiestu
> Teenager of the Year <
United Kingdom
2564 Posts |
Posted - 05/22/2006 : 10:37:31
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I've made my mind up now, definitely Uma Thurman. I could think of loads of men before but now I have to choose I really can't bring myself to say I'd want to have sex with any of them. So, I'll just cheat and have Uma twice :)
"The arc of triumph" |
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Cult_Of_Frank
= Black Noise Maker =
Canada
11687 Posts |
Posted - 05/22/2006 : 10:42:22
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I never got the appeal of Uma. In fact, she is repulsive enough to me that I'd probably turn her down...
"If we hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominos will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate." |
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s_wrenn
* Dog in the Sand *
Ireland
1851 Posts |
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a guy in a rover
= Cult of Ray =
United Kingdom
535 Posts |
Posted - 05/22/2006 : 10:57:43
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She looks like a hammerhead shark. I still would though.
A pig or a goat well, they wouldn’t let you be mistreated
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 05/22/2006 : 11:03:05
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She has terrible feet, I can tell you that much.
I'd walk her everyday, into a shady place
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Erebus
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1834 Posts |
Posted - 05/22/2006 : 11:54:14
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She does have an odd, idiosyncratic look to her. Sexy as hell to me, especially in Pulp Fiction, but then I really haven't seen that many of her movies.
Funny comments about hammerheads and her feet. Didn't realize she's six feet tall.
perfection could use an upgrade |
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a guy in a rover
= Cult of Ray =
United Kingdom
535 Posts |
Posted - 05/22/2006 : 11:57:33
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Yeah, her feet are like size 11 or 12. Yikes.
A pig or a goat well, they wouldn’t let you be mistreated
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Carl
- A 'Fifth' Catholic -
Ireland
11546 Posts |
Posted - 05/22/2006 : 13:24:58
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There's nothing wrong with her feet. I'd give her a foot massage!
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PixieSteve
> Teenager of the Year <
Poland
4698 Posts |
Posted - 05/22/2006 : 13:43:25
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and she could give me a foot wank.
lolz.
FAST_MAN RAIDER_MAN - June 19th |
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Topic |
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Have sex with any celebrity (on one condition)
