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Frog in the Sand
-+ Le premiere frog +-
France
2715 Posts |
 Posted - 04/14/2006 : 16:43:45
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quote:
Originally posted by Jontiven
I would guess "I Don't Live Here Anymore," but no official word yet.
bye again,
JT
Thanks Jon.
Amazon Japan might have a new customer soon :)
-----
"The following tale of me is true. And by true, I mean false. It's all lies. But they're entertaining lies. And in the end, isn't that the real truth? The answer is: No." (The Simpson Files)
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floop
= Wannabe Volunteer =
Mexico
15297 Posts |
Posted - 04/14/2006 : 16:48:01
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quote:
Originally posted by Jontiven
I would guess "I Don't Live Here Anymore," but no official word yet.
bye again,
JT
the demo version of this song alone is amazing. i can't wait to hear it with the full production
"I don't have any money to buy new clothes and if they paid me to get some I'd probably buy more hoodies." - Mark Wainfur |
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Frog in the Sand
-+ Le premiere frog +-
France
2715 Posts |
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billgoodman
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Netherlands
6213 Posts |
Posted - 04/15/2006 : 03:10:29
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The French get bonustracks? Are there even French versions of FB records?
I always thought there were UK and US versions of FB records?
If the French version is filled with bonustracks
I'm sure I will get my hands on it easily
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God save the Noisies |
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Frog in the Sand
-+ Le premiere frog +-
France
2715 Posts |
Posted - 04/15/2006 : 06:53:33
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quote:
Originally posted by billgoodman
The French get bonustracks? Are there even French versions of FB records?
Believe it or not, my copies of TOTY, COR and FB&TCs all include a bonus disc.
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"The following tale of me is true. And by true, I mean false. It's all lies. But they're entertaining lies. And in the end, isn't that the real truth? The answer is: No." (The Simpson Files)
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Frog in the Sand
-+ Le premiere frog +-
France
2715 Posts |
Posted - 04/15/2006 : 07:00:38
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Btw, this favoritism ceased when Frank signed to Cooking Vinyl in 2000 or so :(
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"The following tale of me is true. And by true, I mean false. It's all lies. But they're entertaining lies. And in the end, isn't that the real truth? The answer is: No." (The Simpson Files)
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billgoodman
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Netherlands
6213 Posts |
Posted - 04/15/2006 : 07:28:33
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quote:
Originally posted by Frog in the Sand
quote:
Originally posted by billgoodman
The French get bonustracks? Are there even French versions of FB records?
Believe it or not, my copies of TOTY, COR and FB&TCs all include a bonus disc.
-----
"The following tale of me is true. And by true, I mean false. It's all lies. But they're entertaining lies. And in the end, isn't that the real truth? The answer is: No." (The Simpson Files)
yeah the 'dutch' versions had those too. There's nothing 'french' about my discs. I Believe they are just 'European'. Either way it's just fine, just wanted to make sure I wasn't excluded of cool things.
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God save the Noisies |
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Frog in the Sand
-+ Le premiere frog +-
France
2715 Posts |
Posted - 04/15/2006 : 08:02:28
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According to its back cover, the 2xcd edition of TOTY is a Virgin France exclusive :P
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"The following tale of me is true. And by true, I mean false. It's all lies. But they're entertaining lies. And in the end, isn't that the real truth? The answer is: No." (The Simpson Files)
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Grotesque
= Cult of Ray =
France
777 Posts |
Posted - 04/15/2006 : 10:50:16
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Yes, that one is diferent for the packaging, it's a double digipack!
But the bonus disc itself is not exclusive, isn't it? |
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Grotesque
= Cult of Ray =
France
777 Posts |
Posted - 04/15/2006 : 10:51:28
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| If I remember well, it was the "hate me" version of the "Headache single"... |
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Frog in the Sand
-+ Le premiere frog +-
France
2715 Posts |
Posted - 04/15/2006 : 11:12:12
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It's called "Headache NYC ep" and it features Headache NYC version, Hate Me and Amnesia.
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"The following tale of me is true. And by true, I mean false. It's all lies. But they're entertaining lies. And in the end, isn't that the real truth? The answer is: No." (The Simpson Files)
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Edited by - Frog in the Sand on 04/15/2006 11:13:15 |
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kathryn
~ Selkie Bride ~
Belgium
15320 Posts |
Posted - 04/16/2006 : 19:22:31
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for the record (no pun intended):
www.albumvote.co.uk/news/news.php?id=1319
I’m the only one who can say that this light is mine
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billgoodman
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Netherlands
6213 Posts |
Posted - 04/17/2006 : 02:17:01
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quote:
Originally posted by Frog in the Sand
According to its back cover, the 2xcd edition of TOTY is a Virgin France exclusive :P
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"The following tale of me is true. And by true, I mean false. It's all lies. But they're entertaining lies. And in the end, isn't that the real truth? The answer is: No." (The Simpson Files)
Yes, don't want to start a French vs European-war. I have to admit that a double digipack is something different, but the second disc of TOTY, I have seen that in Holland (not an french import)
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God save the Noisies |
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Grotesque
= Cult of Ray =
France
777 Posts |
Posted - 04/17/2006 : 04:31:36
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yeah, I bought my copy of Hate Me/Headache in a secondhand shop Nijmegen (Holland).
The TOTY double digipack doesn't have that much interest, except I'd love FM/RM to be that way!
That is the way records deserve to be! Cristal boxes are ugly. |
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1965
= Cult of Ray =
Australia
799 Posts |
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kelladwella
= Cult of Ray =
Germany
729 Posts |
Posted - 04/29/2006 : 03:33:11
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That's a good read.
And it did the trick, too. I want to hear this record even more now. |
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Carl
- A 'Fifth' Catholic -
Ireland
11546 Posts |
Posted - 04/29/2006 : 06:15:43
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quote:
Originally posted by billgoodman
the second disc of TOTY, I have seen that in Holland (not an french import)
Yeah, I got that in Den Bosch a few years ago.
Thanks for posting up the press release, 1965.
"The producer has brought a friend, Marty Brown, to do some backup harmony. As members of the band from the previous day’s session strip down their gear, the two singers talk. Brown, raised in Kentucky’s wild hills and know throughout Nashville for his raw, down-home delivery, has only a vague idea of who Black is – and vice versa. Yet soon none of that matters.
“We were playing songs back and forth, trying to get to know each other,” Black recalls. “I said something about divorce songs, and he said, ‘Yeah, I got me one of those.’ And he picks up his guitar, and I swear, as he was sitting in this chair his legs kept moving towards the floor until he was basically on bended knee. His eyes closed, as if in prayer. And he performed this song like he was at the Grammies or on the Super Bowl halftime show. It was like ‘Whoa! I’ve got to work with you right now!””"
There was a page about Frank and FM/RM in the entertainment section on Irish station RTE 1's teletext the other day. Just thought I'd mention it....
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spunXtain
= Cult of Ray =
USA
377 Posts |
Posted - 04/29/2006 : 10:00:02
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i was at the show at the Ryman mentioned in the article!!
--
Got coffee, got donuts, got wasted... |
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floop
= Wannabe Volunteer =
Mexico
15297 Posts |
Posted - 04/29/2006 : 10:01:12
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quote:
Originally posted by floop
anyone got any ideas who Fitzgerald is?
"I don't have any money to buy new clothes and if they paid me to get some I'd probably buy more hoodies." - Mark Wainfur
i'm guessing it's some guy who used to come into his dad's bar
"I don't have any money to buy new clothes and if they paid me to get some I'd probably buy more hoodies." - Mark Wainfur |
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moksha23x
- FB Fan -
USA
245 Posts |
Posted - 05/03/2006 : 03:05:41
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Is "Fast Man, Raider Man" going to be released as a double album or this short tracklist people are talking about....This is what I got...a double album....I love it....Impeccable......Dignified...Soulful....IMHO......
Two CD Tracklist:
disc 1
1. If Your Poison Gets You (2:56)
2. Johnny Barleycorn (4:50)
3. Fast Man (4:12)
4. You Can't Crucify Yourself (3:23)
5. Dirty Old Town (3:03)
6. Wanderlust (3:27)
7. Seven Days (4:11)
8. Raider Man (3:04)
9. The End Of The Summer (3:53)
10. Dog Sleep (3:48)
11. When The Paint Grows Darker Still (3:34)
12. I'm Not Dead (I'm In Pittsburgh) (3:41)
13. Golden Shore (3:17)
disc 2
1. In The Time Of My Ruin (4:21)
2. Down To You (2:18)
3. Highway To Lowdown (2:35)
4. Kiss My Ring (2:29)
5. My Terrible Ways (3:36)
6. Fitzgerald (3:12)
7. Elijah (3:16)
8. It's Just Not Your Moment (5:32)
9. The Real El Rey (3:21)
10. Where The Wind Is Going (3:33)
11. Holland Town (2:32)
12. Sad Old World (4:57)
13. Don't Cry That Way (2:25)
14. Fare Thee Well (3:18)
KJM |
Edited by - moksha23x on 05/03/2006 03:35:45 |
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Cult_Of_Frank
= Black Noise Maker =
Canada
11687 Posts |
Posted - 05/03/2006 : 07:12:00
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Please don't double post.
 "If we hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominos will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate." |
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theonecontender
= Cult of Ray =
Canada
565 Posts |
Posted - 05/03/2006 : 07:37:10
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| Great read, but I can't help but think he must have dropped a load of dough on this album.. I hope it's as great as I am anticipating. |
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spunXtain
= Cult of Ray =
USA
377 Posts |
Posted - 05/04/2006 : 00:18:30
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What can I say about Fastman Raiderman that has not already been said? Frankly, a lot, because I’m just an eloquent guy like that. But if I can describe to you just one hundredth of the greatness of this album I will consider myself lucky.
First of all, Jon Tiven is a really bad ass producer. To me, he personifies evil, right down to part where he acts like the dictator of some kind of foreign country. Plus he looks sorta Mexican. Here’s a little scene I made up describing some down time between Tiven and two random guys, it should help you understand how bad he is.
Random Guy #1: Truth or Dare. You go first, Jon.
Jon: Truth.
Random Guy #2: Who was your first kiss?
Jon: No way I’m answering that. I’ll take dare.
Random Guy #1: Kill twenty million Jews.
Jon: (evil smirk)
See, ladies. EVEN JON TIVEN doesn’t kiss and tell. The only downside of him is that he is too Honest to be called the true villain. But I think we can all agree that Honesty is an overrated virtue, in fact, it might even be evil. In fact, I think all Honest things pretty much suck.
Another thing about this album is the dynamic between Frank and Tiven. Their enmity began a long time ago, when the two of them were fresh off the boat from Puerto Rico that goes to another part of Puerto Rico. (This was before Columbus discovered America, but after the Vikings and Chinese also discovered America. Oh, and the Indians did something too, but nobody cared. But, an extra Indian anecdote below!) Legend has it that their first hatred began when the burly Frank asked Jon if he knew that if his hand covered his face, he would get cancer. Falling for the ruse, Jon covered his face, allowing the witty Mr. Thompson to punch him in the head, giving him an inoperable tumor that made him evil. I know this story makes Frank sound like the bad guy, but believe me, except for the tumor it would have been a funny joke. Another legend has something about a “Pen Fifteen” club, but I don’t get that one, even though I did sign up as a member and got a cool tattoo.
Also, this album doesn’t have Blood Mammoths or War Zeppelins. But sometimes when I play this album I think about Blood Mammoths. Well, actually just one time, and I wasn’t so much listening to the album as I was fighting to the death with a Blood Mammoth. But I don’t think anyone here would dispute that Blood Mammoths are alright.
There are problems with the album however. Don’t think there aren’t, that would just be ridiculous. For one thing, it needed more songs about naked people, so long as those people weren’t Frank Black or Jon Tiven, and so long as they were Kim Deal and….Kim Deal. Also, more naked Kim Deal would have been huge.
It might be hard to get ahold of this album, because it rocks so hardcore. But the solution is simple. When approaching potential sellers, remember that image is the only thing that matters. Wearing a button-down shirt and a tie will leave most observers thinking, “Here’s a classy fellow. But what happened to his pants?” Wear pants at all times.
Fastman Raiderman is the kind of album that knocks you unconscious, spills wine on your sofa, impregnates your wife, molests your children and still leaves you begging for more. Buy it today!
P.S. About that Indian story I promised you. Well, it’s a little known fact that the Indians invented the World Series long before we did. Each year, the Indians, known as the “American League,” would face off against the “National League,” which was the Spanish Army. To even things out, the American League always had home-field advantage.
--
Got coffee, got donuts, got wasted... |
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billgoodman
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Netherlands
6213 Posts |
Posted - 05/04/2006 : 00:24:19
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that made me scared, actually
---------------------------
God save the Noisies |
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Ziggy
* Dog in the Sand *
United Kingdom
2462 Posts |
Posted - 05/04/2006 : 00:55:55
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| If I ddin't know better, it'd put me off listening to the record. |
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Teafer
- FB Fan -
90 Posts |
Posted - 05/04/2006 : 03:04:02
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quote:
Originally posted by spunXtain
What can I say about Fastman Raiderman that has not already been said? Frankly, a lot, because I’m just an eloquent guy like that. But if I can describe to you just one hundredth of the greatness of this album I will consider myself lucky.
First of all, Jon Tiven is a really bad ass producer. To me, he personifies evil, right down to part where he acts like the dictator of some kind of foreign country. Plus he looks sorta Mexican. Here’s a little scene I made up describing some down time between Tiven and two random guys, it should help you understand how bad he is.
Random Guy #1: Truth or Dare. You go first, Jon.
Jon: Truth.
Random Guy #2: Who was your first kiss?
Jon: No way I’m answering that. I’ll take dare.
Random Guy #1: Kill twenty million Jews.
Jon: (evil smirk)
See, ladies. EVEN JON TIVEN doesn’t kiss and tell. The only downside of him is that he is too Honest to be called the true villain. But I think we can all agree that Honesty is an overrated virtue, in fact, it might even be evil. In fact, I think all Honest things pretty much suck.
Another thing about this album is the dynamic between Frank and Tiven. Their enmity began a long time ago, when the two of them were fresh off the boat from Puerto Rico that goes to another part of Puerto Rico. (This was before Columbus discovered America, but after the Vikings and Chinese also discovered America. Oh, and the Indians did something too, but nobody cared. But, an extra Indian anecdote below!) Legend has it that their first hatred began when the burly Frank asked Jon if he knew that if his hand covered his face, he would get cancer. Falling for the ruse, Jon covered his face, allowing the witty Mr. Thompson to punch him in the head, giving him an inoperable tumor that made him evil. I know this story makes Frank sound like the bad guy, but believe me, except for the tumor it would have been a funny joke. Another legend has something about a “Pen Fifteen” club, but I don’t get that one, even though I did sign up as a member and got a cool tattoo.
Also, this album doesn’t have Blood Mammoths or War Zeppelins. But sometimes when I play this album I think about Blood Mammoths. Well, actually just one time, and I wasn’t so much listening to the album as I was fighting to the death with a Blood Mammoth. But I don’t think anyone here would dispute that Blood Mammoths are alright.
There are problems with the album however. Don’t think there aren’t, that would just be ridiculous. For one thing, it needed more songs about naked people, so long as those people weren’t Frank Black or Jon Tiven, and so long as they were Kim Deal and….Kim Deal. Also, more naked Kim Deal would have been huge.
It might be hard to get ahold of this album, because it rocks so hardcore. But the solution is simple. When approaching potential sellers, remember that image is the only thing that matters. Wearing a button-down shirt and a tie will leave most observers thinking, “Here’s a classy fellow. But what happened to his pants?” Wear pants at all times.
Fastman Raiderman is the kind of album that knocks you unconscious, spills wine on your sofa, impregnates your wife, molests your children and still leaves you begging for more. Buy it today!
P.S. About that Indian story I promised you. Well, it’s a little known fact that the Indians invented the World Series long before we did. Each year, the Indians, known as the “American League,” would face off against the “National League,” which was the Spanish Army. To even things out, the American League always had home-field advantage.
--
Got coffee, got donuts, got wasted...
this is all so very very interesting and so funny hilarious, one is forced to admit.
just a question : do you realize the FB forum isn't your fucking personal weblog? and that (albeit modest) relevancy is asked for ?
cause i might as well post each and every day about my fucking belly or my opinions about the air quality.
"i'm not impressed. you wanna impress me? take the wheel, motherfucker." |
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matthew
- FB Fan -
41 Posts |
Posted - 05/04/2006 : 07:06:17
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| Was that an advance copy of Mark Prindle's review of FM/RM? |
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Cult_Of_Frank
= Black Noise Maker =
Canada
11687 Posts |
Posted - 05/04/2006 : 07:14:51
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I thought it was funny. But then, I have no sense of humour.
"If we hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominos will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate." |
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martha_promise
= Cult of Ray =
USA
398 Posts |
Posted - 05/04/2006 : 07:36:33
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I thought it was too.
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spunXtain
= Cult of Ray =
USA
377 Posts |
Posted - 05/04/2006 : 21:34:31
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quote:
Originally posted by Teafer
quote:
Originally posted by spunXtain
What can I say about Fastman Raiderman that has not already been said? Frankly, a lot, because I’m just an eloquent guy like that. But if I can describe to you just one hundredth of the greatness of this album I will consider myself lucky.
First of all, Jon Tiven is a really bad ass producer. To me, he personifies evil, right down to part where he acts like the dictator of some kind of foreign country. Plus he looks sorta Mexican. Here’s a little scene I made up describing some down time between Tiven and two random guys, it should help you understand how bad he is.
Random Guy #1: Truth or Dare. You go first, Jon.
Jon: Truth.
Random Guy #2: Who was your first kiss?
Jon: No way I’m answering that. I’ll take dare.
Random Guy #1: Kill twenty million Jews.
Jon: (evil smirk)
See, ladies. EVEN JON TIVEN doesn’t kiss and tell. The only downside of him is that he is too Honest to be called the true villain. But I think we can all agree that Honesty is an overrated virtue, in fact, it might even be evil. In fact, I think all Honest things pretty much suck.
Another thing about this album is the dynamic between Frank and Tiven. Their enmity began a long time ago, when the two of them were fresh off the boat from Puerto Rico that goes to another part of Puerto Rico. (This was before Columbus discovered America, but after the Vikings and Chinese also discovered America. Oh, and the Indians did something too, but nobody cared. But, an extra Indian anecdote below!) Legend has it that their first hatred began when the burly Frank asked Jon if he knew that if his hand covered his face, he would get cancer. Falling for the ruse, Jon covered his face, allowing the witty Mr. Thompson to punch him in the head, giving him an inoperable tumor that made him evil. I know this story makes Frank sound like the bad guy, but believe me, except for the tumor it would have been a funny joke. Another legend has something about a “Pen Fifteen” club, but I don’t get that one, even though I did sign up as a member and got a cool tattoo.
Also, this album doesn’t have Blood Mammoths or War Zeppelins. But sometimes when I play this album I think about Blood Mammoths. Well, actually just one time, and I wasn’t so much listening to the album as I was fighting to the death with a Blood Mammoth. But I don’t think anyone here would dispute that Blood Mammoths are alright.
There are problems with the album however. Don’t think there aren’t, that would just be ridiculous. For one thing, it needed more songs about naked people, so long as those people weren’t Frank Black or Jon Tiven, and so long as they were Kim Deal and….Kim Deal. Also, more naked Kim Deal would have been huge.
It might be hard to get ahold of this album, because it rocks so hardcore. But the solution is simple. When approaching potential sellers, remember that image is the only thing that matters. Wearing a button-down shirt and a tie will leave most observers thinking, “Here’s a classy fellow. But what happened to his pants?” Wear pants at all times.
Fastman Raiderman is the kind of album that knocks you unconscious, spills wine on your sofa, impregnates your wife, molests your children and still leaves you begging for more. Buy it today!
P.S. About that Indian story I promised you. Well, it’s a little known fact that the Indians invented the World Series long before we did. Each year, the Indians, known as the “American League,” would face off against the “National League,” which was the Spanish Army. To even things out, the American League always had home-field advantage.
--
Got coffee, got donuts, got wasted...
I'm a faggot
Well said.
--
Got coffee, got donuts, got wasted... |
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remig
* Dog in the Sand *
France
1734 Posts |
Posted - 05/05/2006 : 00:49:20
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Very funny Spunxtain!
I liked that a lot! |
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Cult_Of_Frank
= Black Noise Maker =
Canada
11687 Posts |
Posted - 05/05/2006 : 07:13:50
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quote:
Originally posted by spunXtain
quote:
Originally posted by Teafer
quote:
Originally posted by spunXtain
What can I say about Fastman Raiderman that has not already been said? Frankly, a lot, because I’m just an eloquent guy like that. But if I can describe to you just one hundredth of the greatness of this album I will consider myself lucky.
First of all, Jon Tiven is a really bad ass producer. To me, he personifies evil, right down to part where he acts like the dictator of some kind of foreign country. Plus he looks sorta Mexican. Here’s a little scene I made up describing some down time between Tiven and two random guys, it should help you understand how bad he is.
Random Guy #1: Truth or Dare. You go first, Jon.
Jon: Truth.
Random Guy #2: Who was your first kiss?
Jon: No way I’m answering that. I’ll take dare.
Random Guy #1: Kill twenty million Jews.
Jon: (evil smirk)
See, ladies. EVEN JON TIVEN doesn’t kiss and tell. The only downside of him is that he is too Honest to be called the true villain. But I think we can all agree that Honesty is an overrated virtue, in fact, it might even be evil. In fact, I think all Honest things pretty much suck.
Another thing about this album is the dynamic between Frank and Tiven. Their enmity began a long time ago, when the two of them were fresh off the boat from Puerto Rico that goes to another part of Puerto Rico. (This was before Columbus discovered America, but after the Vikings and Chinese also discovered America. Oh, and the Indians did something too, but nobody cared. But, an extra Indian anecdote below!) Legend has it that their first hatred began when the burly Frank asked Jon if he knew that if his hand covered his face, he would get cancer. Falling for the ruse, Jon covered his face, allowing the witty Mr. Thompson to punch him in the head, giving him an inoperable tumor that made him evil. I know this story makes Frank sound like the bad guy, but believe me, except for the tumor it would have been a funny joke. Another legend has something about a “Pen Fifteen” club, but I don’t get that one, even though I did sign up as a member and got a cool tattoo.
Also, this album doesn’t have Blood Mammoths or War Zeppelins. But sometimes when I play this album I think about Blood Mammoths. Well, actually just one time, and I wasn’t so much listening to the album as I was fighting to the death with a Blood Mammoth. But I don’t think anyone here would dispute that Blood Mammoths are alright.
There are problems with the album however. Don’t think there aren’t, that would just be ridiculous. For one thing, it needed more songs about naked people, so long as those people weren’t Frank Black or Jon Tiven, and so long as they were Kim Deal and….Kim Deal. Also, more naked Kim Deal would have been huge.
It might be hard to get ahold of this album, because it rocks so hardcore. But the solution is simple. When approaching potential sellers, remember that image is the only thing that matters. Wearing a button-down shirt and a tie will leave most observers thinking, “Here’s a classy fellow. But what happened to his pants?” Wear pants at all times.
Fastman Raiderman is the kind of album that knocks you unconscious, spills wine on your sofa, impregnates your wife, molests your children and still leaves you begging for more. Buy it today!
P.S. About that Indian story I promised you. Well, it’s a little known fact that the Indians invented the World Series long before we did. Each year, the Indians, known as the “American League,” would face off against the “National League,” which was the Spanish Army. To even things out, the American League always had home-field advantage.
--
Got coffee, got donuts, got wasted...
I'm a faggot
Well said.
--
Got coffee, got donuts, got wasted...
Not funny.
"If we hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominos will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate." |
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PixieSteve
> Teenager of the Year <
Poland
4698 Posts |
Posted - 05/05/2006 : 07:18:19
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Funny, but then I have a sense of humour.
FAST_MAN RAIDER_MAN - June 19th |
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Teafer
- FB Fan -
90 Posts |
Posted - 05/05/2006 : 07:19:06
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quote:
Originally posted by Cult_Of_Frank
quote:
Originally posted by spunXtain
quote:
Originally posted by Teafer
quote:
Originally posted by spunXtain
What can I say about Fastman Raiderman that has not already been said? Frankly, a lot, because I’m just an eloquent guy like that. But if I can describe to you just one hundredth of the greatness of this album I will consider myself lucky.
First of all, Jon Tiven is a really bad ass producer. To me, he personifies evil, right down to part where he acts like the dictator of some kind of foreign country. Plus he looks sorta Mexican. Here’s a little scene I made up describing some down time between Tiven and two random guys, it should help you understand how bad he is.
Random Guy #1: Truth or Dare. You go first, Jon.
Jon: Truth.
Random Guy #2: Who was your first kiss?
Jon: No way I’m answering that. I’ll take dare.
Random Guy #1: Kill twenty million Jews.
Jon: (evil smirk)
See, ladies. EVEN JON TIVEN doesn’t kiss and tell. The only downside of him is that he is too Honest to be called the true villain. But I think we can all agree that Honesty is an overrated virtue, in fact, it might even be evil. In fact, I think all Honest things pretty much suck.
Another thing about this album is the dynamic between Frank and Tiven. Their enmity began a long time ago, when the two of them were fresh off the boat from Puerto Rico that goes to another part of Puerto Rico. (This was before Columbus discovered America, but after the Vikings and Chinese also discovered America. Oh, and the Indians did something too, but nobody cared. But, an extra Indian anecdote below!) Legend has it that their first hatred began when the burly Frank asked Jon if he knew that if his hand covered his face, he would get cancer. Falling for the ruse, Jon covered his face, allowing the witty Mr. Thompson to punch him in the head, giving him an inoperable tumor that made him evil. I know this story makes Frank sound like the bad guy, but believe me, except for the tumor it would have been a funny joke. Another legend has something about a “Pen Fifteen” club, but I don’t get that one, even though I did sign up as a member and got a cool tattoo.
Also, this album doesn’t have Blood Mammoths or War Zeppelins. But sometimes when I play this album I think about Blood Mammoths. Well, actually just one time, and I wasn’t so much listening to the album as I was fighting to the death with a Blood Mammoth. But I don’t think anyone here would dispute that Blood Mammoths are alright.
There are problems with the album however. Don’t think there aren’t, that would just be ridiculous. For one thing, it needed more songs about naked people, so long as those people weren’t Frank Black or Jon Tiven, and so long as they were Kim Deal and….Kim Deal. Also, more naked Kim Deal would have been huge.
It might be hard to get ahold of this album, because it rocks so hardcore. But the solution is simple. When approaching potential sellers, remember that image is the only thing that matters. Wearing a button-down shirt and a tie will leave most observers thinking, “Here’s a classy fellow. But what happened to his pants?” Wear pants at all times.
Fastman Raiderman is the kind of album that knocks you unconscious, spills wine on your sofa, impregnates your wife, molests your children and still leaves you begging for more. Buy it today!
P.S. About that Indian story I promised you. Well, it’s a little known fact that the Indians invented the World Series long before we did. Each year, the Indians, known as the “American League,” would face off against the “National League,” which was the Spanish Army. To even things out, the American League always had home-field advantage.
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Got coffee, got donuts, got wasted...
I'm a faggot
Well said.
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Got coffee, got donuts, got wasted...
Not funny.
"If we hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominos will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate."
Well no it is, it is funny, not quite as funny as the rest but pretty funny. and people considering gay is an insult are so impressive. you ARE a funny witty guy. too bad you caught that language diarrhea though.
"i'm not impressed. you wanna impress me? take the wheel, motherfucker." |
Edited by - Teafer on 05/05/2006 07:44:50 |
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PixieSteve
> Teenager of the Year <
Poland
4698 Posts |
Posted - 05/05/2006 : 07:19:22
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well, you did already say you have no sense of humour :P
FAST_MAN RAIDER_MAN - June 19th |
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Fastman Raiderman
