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Jason
* Dog in the Sand *
1446 Posts |
 Posted - 09/11/2005 : 09:20:13
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He gives it a 6.
http://www.markprindle.com/black.htm
I frequent a board that Mark Prindle posts to and when some people here trash his Frank reviews, I post the link for him because I think it's funny, so that's what the first paragraph is about.
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As this will probably soon be posted on a Frank Black messageboard that will then malign me and harm my feelings, let me preface this by saying "EAT SHTI, FRANK BLACK MESSAGEBOARD."
Okay, now that you've eaten yourself in Persian present continuous tense, let's talk about this crappy boring new shit Frank ass Black lousy boring album. If not even Steve Cropper can save your album, it's time to write a new album. But at least it's different for Mr. Black. Oh yes, different. Usually Frank Black doesn't sound like an early '70s singer-songwriter. Usually his songs don't sound like Joni Mitchell with a mustache. Usually they have interesting changes and breaks, rather than coasting lazily by on the strains of a Hammond organ, bland chord changes and r'n'b lead guitar licks. I'm not knocking the guy; I'm just saying he SUCKS DICK.
Okay, he doesn't really suck dick. I'm just feeling ornery after reading all these articles about people being forced to evacuate New Orleans but being told they have to leave their pets behind. There is NO FUCKING WAY I would leave Henry The Dog behind, nor would my wife (as we discussed this morning). We would either sneak out and live or die on our own - AS A PACK - or hide in a closet 'til the G-Men leave. But no goddamned way would we leave Henry The Dog behind. He's arguably the most important member of our family! At very least, the fuzziest. So now that I've addressed the actual issue that's upsetting me, rather than blaming it on the former lead singer of the Pixies, I'll address Honeycomb on more solid ground and even keel.
When Frank Black took a break from forcing citizens to leave their homes as heartbroken pets howled in terror from behind closed doors, he invited former Blues Brother Steve Cropper to lay down some tasty licks atop a collection of Memphisy early '70s laidback wine cooler music that he'd written free of Catholicism. (His former backing band was named The Catholics. That's all I mean.) (And he thinks the new Pope is an assfucker) The music combines a number of possible genres and influences (r'n'b, soul, blues, country, folk, jazz, singer-songwriter balladry) into a "heady brew" of "musical stew" that sounds completely unlike any previous Frank Black output, while at the same time managing to be not at all innovative or catchy.
There are the few nifty occasions when he'll reach into his back brain pocket and dig out a super-bizarre chord combination reminiscent of "Alec Eiffel" ("Lone Child," the first half of "My Life Is In Storage"), but most of the melodies just aren't compelling at all. They're too laidback and lazy to be catchy. I suppose it would make for decent sitting on the porch music, but I'm just not used to hearing Frank Black sound so damned MELLOW! His singing voice, I mean. He sounds like he's half-asleep in a rocking chair as he sings these songs - he certainly doesn't bring any energy to the proceedings, making even the fast songs sound like they're about to lay down for a nap.
Essentially, when you get right down to it, this folk-country-jazz-soul-r'n'b-hippy-boring hybrid just isn't to my taste. It's the kind of record we've been hearing from Tori Amos and PJ Harvey lately: this "satisfied with life, don't need to bother coming up with a hook" post-'60s blandness that should have died with James Taylor's career. I'm all for Steve Cropper, believe me this. I enjoy that man. But there's nothing he can do when set against music this overwhelmingly bland.
So UP YOUR ASS, FRANK BLACK MESSAGEBOARD!!!
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50 Pence
= Cult of Ray =
United Kingdom
284 Posts |
Posted - 09/11/2005 : 09:51:56
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Lol, quite humorous.
Blats |
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Carl
- A 'Fifth' Catholic -
Ireland
11546 Posts |
Posted - 09/11/2005 : 18:03:22
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| And fuck your site, Mark Pringle...I mean, Prindle! ;D |
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Daisy Girl
~ Abstract Brain ~
Belize
5305 Posts |
Posted - 09/11/2005 : 19:41:15
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never heard of this guy... seems like he needs a little love and attention.  well you've got the attention, guy. hope you're happy :)   
"I ain't goin to be what I ain't" |
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Jason
* Dog in the Sand *
1446 Posts |
Posted - 09/12/2005 : 00:17:00
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Mark is just a guy in New York who's been writing funny record reviews full of great observations and much bizarre hilarity for his own personal website for many years now (though he does also have a piece about the Pac-Man Fever album in the recently published Lost in the Grooves book about unsung/cult records). I don't always agree with him, but he may be my favorite music reviewer on Earth (and he IS a Frank Black fan, as his other Frank reviews found at the link I posted above show).
At the very least the site is notable for being possibly the only place on the web where you can find reviews of the (virtually) complete unwieldy discographies of muy prolific artistes like The Ventures and Frank Zappa all written by one guy. |
Edited by - Jason on 09/12/2005 01:38:21 |
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Jason
* Dog in the Sand *
1446 Posts |
Posted - 09/12/2005 : 01:48:13
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In the same update that included Honeycomb, Mark also posted a review of a Ramones bootleg called You Don't Come Close that might be the funniest thing I've read all week.
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This tiny live CD features 12 songs performed live in Germany in 1978 -- possibly for television? Not sure about that, but at one point Joey says what sounds like, "It's nice to be here in Germany - on your tube." Either way, one thing's for certain - at only 21 minutes long, this CD is SHORT. In fact, you know that comedian Martin Short? He named himself after how short this CD is. It's still really good though. In fact, you know who loves it? Country music star Lyle Lovett! However, I used to know a guy named Cliff Krapp who didn't like it at all. And don't even get me STARTED about Steve Ifihavetolistentothispieceofshitagaini'llpissinyourear! Ha ha! Yeah, don't do that! No sir! Ha ha!
It took me like 30 minutes to come up with that joke and it doesn't even have a punchline. FUCK!
You Don't Come Close features three songs from the debut, two each from LH and RTR, and four from RTR GODDAMMIT TO
(two from Road, four from Rocket)
As the title suggests, this tiny ripoff CD provides one of the very few chances you will ever have in life to hear "You Don't Come Close" performed live in concert. And it sounds great! Johnny plays the chords on his distorted Mosrite, of course, and at the end of each run (in the chorus), he surprisingly makes the effort to play that little note sequence that takes the riff back up to its first chord. What's really neet is that in this distorted guitar context, that little note run up to and including the top chord sound nearly identical to what would soon become the breathtaking godsending audio bliss tidal wave of life sunday drive carousel popsicle free sex smiling puppy chocolate chip cookie that is the recurring guitar motif in "Sitting In My Room"! Listen to it on for size and see me!
Other highlights include Dee Dee hitting about 60 wrong bass notes in "Blitzkrieg Bop" (including the very FIRST note), Dee Dee missing the high vocals in "I Don't Care," Joey inserting the syllable "-ayyy-" in the middle of the word "cretin," and Johnny (for the 134th time out of a possible 1600) playing "California Sun" as if moving his finger a single inch to reach the fifth note is not just difficult but, due to a quirk in the Earth's gravitational pull, COMPLETELY IMPOSSIBLE.
The sound quality is great and most of the songs are too (though "She's The One" can suck it), but you'd have to be potty to spend money on such a short, pointless release. What are you, potty?
The best thing about You Don't Come Close To Being A Full-Length CD is that listening to it at 2 AM last night made me have a dream about The Ramones! Sparcifically, I dreamt I was in a car with Joey and Marky Ramone, who were talking about the band's imminent breakup (which had not yet occurred in Dreamtime). I asked them if they intended to continue wearing leather jackets and donning their hair in Ramones fashion after the breakup and they both answered in the affirmative. Then, when Marky went into a store to buy something, I started talking to Joey about the "rumors that he'd died of cancer" that were going around a few years back. He seemed surprised, having not heard the rumors, and went on to explain that he wanted to leave the band because there were so many things he wanted a chance to do before he died. His example was something like "I mean, what if I want to take a train to Tanzania?"
Unfortunately, when I awoke this afternoon, Joey was indeed dead, as were Dee Dee and Johnny. I had butchered them all while sleepwalking.
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Carl
- A 'Fifth' Catholic -
Ireland
11546 Posts |
Posted - 09/12/2005 : 04:13:56
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| "This tiny ripoff CD"!! :D |
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HeywoodJablome
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1484 Posts |
Posted - 09/12/2005 : 05:18:11
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| I've enjoyed this guys site for a long while. He's funny and he's got some really great interviews on www.markprindle.com |
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Carl
- A 'Fifth' Catholic -
Ireland
11546 Posts |
Posted - 09/12/2005 : 06:09:47
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Just checked out some of interviews and reviews. Everyone should have a site like this! I kind of half agree/disagree with some of those reviews.
There's a band called Gandalf? :D |
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HeywoodJablome
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1484 Posts |
Posted - 09/14/2005 : 18:01:55
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| Maybe I'll name my band "Use the wand Willow!" |
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Mark Prindle reviews HONEYCOMB
