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Surfer Rosa
> Teenager of the Year <
4209 Posts |
 Posted - 09/10/2005 : 05:54:21
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This thread is dedicated to both Starmekitten's rat shit crazy housemate who marker pens dates onto eggs and Newo's religious nutjob. Tell us about your ex or maybe even current housemates strange habits and bizarre behaviour, goodness knows, I've had a few.
There was the housemate who used to spend all day in his underpants smoking weed and who would then bath with the kitchen utensils. His favourite was the carving fork, followed closely by the pasta ladel. (They were never used on food once we realised his err, quirk).
There was the housemate who we once found whipping a stuffed toy with a riding crop till the stuffing came out. Who once confessed to more than one occasion of beastiality to me while drunk.
Also a hypocondriac vile tempered germaphobe, not really the ideal housemate to 3 art students, a professional houseguest and an alcoholic. She used to insist on all hair being tied back in the kitchen and all foodstuffs had to go into tupperware containers. Including peanut butter, jam and tomato sauce.
Fire made it good. |
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starmekitten
-= Forum Pistolera =-
United Kingdom
6370 Posts |
Posted - 09/10/2005 : 06:02:59
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Her name was Thea and she did her A levels in India which of course makes her oh-so-fucking-bohemian. Like many people who have 'travelled' she totally assumed the national ID of whatever country she last went to (and for her it was only India) so wore these horrible indian-smock things, and I mean horrible. Don't get me wrong, I adore indian dress but it's like she went out and bought the worst ones she could find. Puke green with bobbles and sixties curtain floral. First thing in the morning she could be found sat cross legged in the kitchen with a potato masher and a huge pot filled with beans lentils and spices bashing the living shit out of whatever was in the pan, one assumes to make any flavour go away. She never washed her hair and used to wrap it up with twigs and flowers. She was a fucking pain.
In fact her friend was worse, if that possible, another greasy hippy who had a modelling job once in NY so adopted an american accent.
 I like my coffee like I like my men. In a plastic cup. |
Edited by - starmekitten on 09/10/2005 06:05:52 |
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Cheeseman1000
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Iceland
8201 Posts |
Posted - 09/10/2005 : 06:07:20
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My current housemate: 39 years old, earns twice as much as me and complains about living like a student in shared accommodation; has racist written through him like a stick of rock, i.e. will freely admit to intending to vote British National Party; first warm day of the year, I come in to find him with the windows closed, the curtains drawn, a Star Trek DVD on the TV and playing 'Age Of Empires' on his computer; my personal favourite, owns and regularly watches kite-flying technique videos; has hilariously bad taste in movies to the point where "Twelve Monkeys would have been a much better film if they'd just have done it as a straightforward Hollywod blockbuster"; lives on pitta bread, cheese and Marmite; doesn't lift a finger to so much as change a binbag, but will constantly complain if you don't draw the shower curtain to dry out after you're done.
Whoo. My spleen feels a lot better.
My last place, my housemate was properly nuts but you wouldn't know it to meet her, it was a pernicious, sneaking kind of nuts. My bedroom was a loft conversion with no actual door, and she'd quite regularly just come and stand in my room while I was studying and talk at me; even when she was done, she'd just stand there hoping I'd make more conversation, which was never going to happen. She once talked at me through an entire episode of Red Dwarf, I'm not sure I said a single word.
I like this topic.
How's that for a slice of fried gold? |
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Surfer Rosa
> Teenager of the Year <
4209 Posts |
Posted - 09/10/2005 : 06:11:38
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My then boyfriend once accidentally threw out one of my housemate's entire collections of whites. She'd washed all her whites but forgotten to hang them up, in her infinite wisdom, stuck them all in a black bag & put them next to the rubbish bin on collection day. The obvious happened.
Despite feeling very guilty about it, my boyfriend was also lauded as a local hero, since amongst her whites had been a particularly foul smelling and revealing crochet top that was singed into the retina of all our friends as being one of the most vile creations they had ever laid eyes on. Bitchy yes, but it had to be seen on and encountered up close for it's true horror to be believed.
Fire made it good. |
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Surfer Rosa
> Teenager of the Year <
4209 Posts |
Posted - 09/10/2005 : 06:15:27
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Ooh Cheeseman, sounds like your housemate has a syndrome similar to another of my ex housemates - you simply could never make eyecontact with her because she'd start wittering on about nothing in particular. We watched in amazement on more than one occasion where she started conversations with us before she'd entered the house.
Fire made it good. |
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HeywoodJablome
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1485 Posts |
Posted - 09/10/2005 : 07:31:33
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| I used to be housemates with the drummer (and his girlfriend) of the first punk band I was ever in who was definitely a whack job. They refused to have a vacuum cleaner beacause they didn't like the sound that they made. I was working a straight 9 to 5 job and he'd come in my room about twice a week at around midnight while I'm sleeping, wake me up to ask me for money to go to the bar so he could go have "a pint and a shot". Never worked (that's what the girlfriend was for). And finally, he goes on a crack smoking binge for about a week. I would literally come home after working 12 hours and he and his pipe smoking cohorts would be in the exact same position in the living room as when I left. Then I tell I'm moving out due to certain "lifestyle differences" and as I'm moving my stuff out he pulls a knife on me and threatens to kill me. Nice guy, yes!? Never had a housemate since. |
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Broken Face
-= Forum Pistolero =-
USA
5155 Posts |
Posted - 09/10/2005 : 07:33:02
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i live alone and love it
-Brian
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starmekitten
-= Forum Pistolera =-
United Kingdom
6370 Posts |
Posted - 09/10/2005 : 07:46:23
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Stuart. From Northern Ireland, ugly chap. A girl came to live with us called Ruth, he used to poke fun at her behind her back and call her all sorts of fat-names (to me! ha the irony) then when his girlfriend actually came to visit she was half a foot taller than him and twice the size of Ruth. When he finished with his gf he met a rich older divorcee and it all went downhill from there. Grew his hair into a mullet and bought a soft leather brown trenchcoat, the cowboy types with the flap in the back. Bought cowboy boots that he used to shove his bright blue cheap nasty jeans into. Jeans which were kept up by a faux leather belt with a big buckle that read USA with an eagle on it. His new lady came over to dinner one night and we found him boiling chicken in red wine in the kitchen, it stank and as my bedroom came off the kitchen I was less than impressed. His girlfriend and he then stank out the living room smoking pot from the most unbelievabley complicated and huge bong I have ever seen. We used to hear him spanking his girlfriend and in his room over the fireplace was a picture of an oiled muscle bound lady astride a harley. Stuart bought a pellet gun and one afternoon whilst having a smoke on the demi-patio I noticed the birds and squirrels in the garden going nuts. This was because he was shooting at them. I then did my level best to break his door down and crack him over the head with the thing.
I can't believe I was considering shared accomodation again!
I like my coffee like I like my men. In a plastic cup. |
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Carl
- A 'Fifth' Catholic -
Ireland
11546 Posts |
Posted - 09/10/2005 : 07:51:30
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| In Holland, myself and a few mates were stuck in a house with this Irish guy by the company that were employing us. He was hyper, in your face, hardly slept, a total bullshitter and untrustworthy. So one night two of the other people working with us and living in the bungalow park, who had been anging out with this guy, drop by. They were intendeing to go out for a few drinks a nd a few games of pool with this guy.. Everyone is sitting around talking for a while, when these guys turn on him (one of them was a bit hard!) and reveal had been planning to go out with him, and beat the shit out of him-apparently, he had robbed some money off them. Myself and my mates were'nt too suprized. They decided he had learned his lesson, and shook hands on it. He was rather quite after that. |
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starmekitten
-= Forum Pistolera =-
United Kingdom
6370 Posts |
Posted - 09/10/2005 : 07:54:50
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Ha! Neil! Neil was a big lad and before he went to university had never even sniffed alcohol I reckon let alone drunk the stuff. This is fine, what is weird is going to bars and getting them to put just a little bit of water into a glass you'd drink vodka from so no one would know. When the lads cottoned on they egged him into drinking for real. Those of us who were sensible tried to stop him but some pathetic macho ego bullshit meant he had to. And he did. He got shitfaced drunk, vomited on the podium of a club and then passed out into his own vomit. He got kicked in by the bouncers and sent home. You'd think he'd learn alas no. The night before an exam I hear this howling and cooing outside my door. I go out to see what the fuck is going on and find Neil crawling backwards along the corridoor whistling and making noise, banging on all the doors. I tell him to go to bed and he crawls towards his room. Half an hour later there is banging on my door and singing and again I find Neil crawling backwards from my room giggling like a fucking fool. I had to grab him by the ear, drag him to his room and lock him in to make him stop. I came yay close to gagging him.
Even after I had moved into a different house with a couple of girls I knew Neil used to come and knock on the door then come and sit in the living room. We were friendly enough at first and even invited him round to christmas dinner but not a day went past when Neil came round to the house (Thea too come to think of it "hello can I borrow 60 calories?" a fucking egg! It got to the stage where we'd open the door, throw them at her then close the door again). But around exam time we'd all be in our rooms working so we'd either pretend we hadn't heard the door or we'd let him in, sit him infront of the television then go back to whatever we were doing.
I like my coffee like I like my men. In a plastic cup. |
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HeywoodJablome
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1485 Posts |
Posted - 09/10/2005 : 07:55:35
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| Gotta love the Irish! |
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GypsyDeath
Zapped Profile
3575 Posts |
Posted - 09/10/2005 : 08:05:53
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These stories are worrying me! Im about to endure at least 3 years of shared accomodation in 2 weeks time!!!
Please support the petition for a Carter USM DVD. Download, print and sign a petition form from http://ambernet.no-ip.org/petition.doc |
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Surfer Rosa
> Teenager of the Year <
4209 Posts |
Posted - 09/10/2005 : 08:06:34
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Speaking of the Irish - one of my favourite ex housemates (and just ever so crazy too) was the Irish anesthetist who often when drunk the only words he would be able to say would be "I want to sodomise you".
I miss him terribly - even though he used to wipe his fingers after picking his nose on the wall above his bed.
Fire made it good. |
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Surfer Rosa
> Teenager of the Year <
4209 Posts |
Posted - 09/10/2005 : 08:07:35
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quote:
Originally posted by GypsyDeath
These stories are worrying me! Im about to endure at least 3 years of shared accomodation in 2 weeks time!!!
Please support the petition for a Carter USM DVD. Download, print and sign a petition form from http://ambernet.no-ip.org/petition.doc
Don't let them worry you - let them prepare you for the horrors and fun that await (and then come post about them here)
Fire made it good. |
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starmekitten
-= Forum Pistolera =-
United Kingdom
6370 Posts |
Posted - 09/10/2005 : 08:10:28
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Sarah. Five foot two in all directions of welsh hard core bitch. Thought 'cunt' was a term of endearment as in "You alright you cunt?". Guy after Guy after poor poor Guy was lead drunken into her room and they always snuck out looking ill in the morning. Was convinced she had the "biggest breasts ever" when really, they were mere chubby girl puppy ears if you know what I mean. Always screaming drunk and nearly always screaming. This one qualifies for knocking on my door one night to see if I "fancied a threesome with this guy she's got who likes the idea". No Sarah, funnily enough, no!
Haha, oh my! I can't believe I have forgotten these!
Nick the Greek! Nick was greek (hence the name) and in the kitchen were these two little arm chairs, and about four foot away from the arm chairs a round table where all the pots and pans were kept. Any time day or night you would find Nick the Greek hawking up phlegm then spitting it into the pots across the room from the armchair he wedged himself into! Any spare he saved for gobbing into the shower!
Surfer, your thread has just done me the biggest favour. I honestly can't believe I'd forgotten all this about shared housing!
I like my coffee like I like my men. In a plastic cup. |
Edited by - starmekitten on 09/10/2005 08:13:19 |
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HeywoodJablome
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1485 Posts |
Posted - 09/10/2005 : 10:36:04
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| Strangely enough, my aforementioned experience is one I look back on fondly. Makes for great story telling and always makes me laugh just thinking about the absurdity of it. |
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floop
= Wannabe Volunteer =
Mexico
15297 Posts |
Posted - 09/10/2005 : 11:04:51
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quote:
Originally posted by starmekitten
This one qualifies for knocking on my door one night to see if I "fancied a threesome with this guy she's got who likes the idea". No Sarah, funnily enough, no!
such a prude |
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zub_the_goat
= Cult of Ray =
United Kingdom
639 Posts |
Posted - 09/10/2005 : 11:04:57
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Allright, well the house i moved out of....first of all there was the coke addict, forunately this was the of the cola variety, but she wouldnt drink anything else, including water....was really not good for her (kittys description of her housemate reminds me of her), so she switched to lucozade, because it was orange and therefore had to be healthy. She also tried to deliberatly sabotage a relationship for me as she was jelouse of me having a boyfriend while she didnt, if she suspected anybody was having sex she would try to break there bedrooom door down, she was such a little power queen that she left long notes on the toilet door of dos and donts...and i dont think she let any of my housemates spend any time with their boyfriends unless she was there.....
and then there was the girl who wondered whether or not hobbits existed.....or my housemates boyfriend who was constantly half naked running after her shouting, 'im so sorry love i didnt mean it' especially at two o'clock in the morning, or when he canceled our phone subscription because we're girls and cant be trusted
theres more but im trying to block it out. |
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Carl
- A 'Fifth' Catholic -
Ireland
11546 Posts |
Posted - 09/10/2005 : 14:10:08
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quote:
Originally posted by zub_the_goat
she wouldnt drink anything else, including water
and then there was the girl who wondered whether or not hobbits existed
Sounds just like me!
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Topic |
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Crazy housemates
