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starmekitten
-= Forum Pistolera =-
United Kingdom
6370 Posts |
 Posted - 06/11/2005 : 17:14:40
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Anything is preferable to studying, even thinking about studying is preferable to studying, so I did that, thought about it for a little while.
I had a think about what interested me when I was younger, and what interests me now and it seems as I get older I become more and more focused on certain things. I started studying biology, and then molecular biology and now biomedicine and it all seems very tunnel visioned. So much work to do and it seems no time to consider other things. I sit at a computer all day typing and searching for papers then reading the papers all around the molecular biomedical things. I revolve around coffee shops and laboratories and this stupid computer or a slightly posher one in the library.
And I know it wasn't always like this, I used to meet people and they'd tell me about things that interested them and I'd learn from them and then go read things about it and then learn some more, or I'd pick up on an idea from somewhere and want to find more and do so. I have forgotten most of it now depressingly, made brain space for other things, only vague concepts seem to remain. So what, am I less enthusiastic? less inspired? too busy? am I meeting more boring people? (I don't think so)
I thought about people I know and knew, books I used to read, ideas I haven't even thought of. Philosphy, religion, politics, art, fims even music bloody hell! damn it THINGS I don't know about or understand or have knowledge of even, so much I don't know and might never know. I meet some people who can talk about anything and seem to do so with confidence, are they bull-shitting me or is there some trick to it? This is why I feel so small, I want to have an understanding of more than I do now, but where does one start? When there's so much? Is it better to have a good knowledge of a few things or is it good to know a little about a lot?
Does anyone else get that small feeling?
Also. Does anyone else sit around of a night and think (and share) this weird (slightly inarticulate) shit? |
Edited by - starmekitten on 06/11/2005 17:16:34 |
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ElevatorLady
= Cult of Ray =
385 Posts |
Posted - 06/11/2005 : 17:39:35
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The funny thing about studying is that when you have to study your mind gets flooded with myriads of new, interesting but mostly quite irrelevant ideas that have nothing to do with the subject you are studying, making it impossible to concentrate. It happens to me all the time.
As far as I'm concerned, I know I will die only slightly less ignorant than I am now and that most of my questions will remain unanswered for at least as long as I live. It's depressing, but it's also the truth. And it doesn't stop me from questioning, which is important I guess. I don't know if it's better to know a bit of everything or a lot of something specific, but you can ever know enough about anything and you can never know something about everything – whatever you do, you will only know very little about something very small. The Universe is such a huge place, you know.
I hope I don't sound too depressing. Have you visited my self pity thread?
So much for my portion of late night thoughts. I'm off to bed now, good night people.
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floop
= Wannabe Volunteer =
Mexico
15297 Posts |
Posted - 06/11/2005 : 18:07:37
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when i was younger i used to think about things and get depressed.
now i just drink a lot of beer |
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starmekitten
-= Forum Pistolera =-
United Kingdom
6370 Posts |
Posted - 06/11/2005 : 18:37:31
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I used to dream about scale, either I was tiny and everything around me was huge or that I was a giant trying to comprehend the littlest things and I would always wake up dizzy.
I'm not sure what relevance this has to anything but it's late. I don't care either. I could do with a beer.
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darwin
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
USA
5454 Posts |
Posted - 06/11/2005 : 18:39:19
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| I use to dream that everyone was really smart but they were being paid by parents to act dumb so that I wouldn't realize how dumb I was. |
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kathryn
~ Selkie Bride ~
Belgium
15320 Posts |
Posted - 06/11/2005 : 19:08:31
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I didn't know the difference between molecules and cells until a couple of days ago, so I generally
feel like a moron.
 I still believe in the excellent joy of the Catholics |
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Superabounder
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1041 Posts |
Posted - 06/11/2005 : 19:14:02
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I don't know if this applies to you, but introverts (like me) have a harder time talking about such a wide variety of subjects with the confidence that extroverts have. A book I read suggested that there are differences in the brain pathways that introverts and extroverts access when speaking. The extroverts have a much more direct path while introverts have to go around and around in their brain before the words come out. Thus the extroverts can basically talk for the sake of talking and actually sound like they know what the hell they are talking about, and the introverts have to work to say a sentence unless it is something they actually have detailed knowledge about. Anyway, I always feel self conscious when I am around people who can bullshit about any subject and sound like an expert. However, I think the actual knowledge they have about it is basically skin deep.
All of the true things I am about to tell you are shameless lies |
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floop
= Wannabe Volunteer =
Mexico
15297 Posts |
Posted - 06/11/2005 : 19:29:14
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| i get the feeling you describe (i think) sometimes when i think about population explosion / urban sprawl / the impending collapse of human civilization etc... but then i usually go have more beer and feel better. |
Edited by - floop on 06/11/2005 19:31:03 |
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ObfuscateByWill
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1887 Posts |
Posted - 06/12/2005 : 00:24:31
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I feel tiny when I think about my eventual demise.
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Really freaks me out to know that eventually I will cease to exist. The universe will continue on into infinity ...without me. 
 Take a bite of the chocolate coffin. |
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tobafett
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1713 Posts |
Posted - 06/12/2005 : 00:42:07
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I feel insignificant when I study big-picture astronomy.
I wish I had more time to study things I'd like to learn--languages mostly. and musical instruments. I can converse about politics, history, science, etc...i really enjoy discussing those things with folks from different countries.
maybe if I quit posting here...but I like that too...and I can do it in anglish. |
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danjersey
> Teenager of the Year <
USA
2792 Posts |
Posted - 06/12/2005 : 00:52:18
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Is it better to have a good knowledge of a few things or is it good to know a little about a lot?
jack of all trades, master of nothing? hell, you seem to have a thirst for understanding, that may not be easy but it's (an you know this one) better than bLiSS.
i'm thirty one and feel like things are just getting started.
happy hunting. |
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zub_the_goat
= Cult of Ray =
United Kingdom
639 Posts |
Posted - 06/12/2005 : 04:20:42
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| just the concept of infinity is absoutely incomprehenasble to me, and we're such an tiny spec in that space and time, even a person remembered for thousands of years, entire civilisations with hundreds of generations, huge events mean nothing in relation to the immensity of space and time...it used to make me feel sad and insignificant that we have so little chane of affecting anything, but now i just see it as more positive, probably |
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mun chien andalusia
= Quote Accumulator =
Italy
2139 Posts |
Posted - 06/12/2005 : 05:59:56
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quote:
Originally posted by starmekitten
I meet some people who can talk about anything and seem to do so with confidence, are they bull-shitting me or is there some trick to it?
yes they are bullshitting you. nobody knows everything about everything. many people have only notions of a subject and yet they feel good about blattering about it with confidence. happens always to me. stupid example: a guy comes over and starts talking about music and how cool he is and how he listens to alternative stuff. inevitably the pixies came out and it ended that he had no idea about who they were having only listened to WIMM as the tittle song of the fight club. what an ass. everyday i meet people that blatter about p2p or other computer stuff, with strong opinions too, and the only thing they know on the argument is an article or a news piece. let alone when it comes to my camp (medicine) where i've heard so much crap that i can't remember all of it (one of the funniest: a guy who sustained that a woman can get pregnant by simply swimming in a pool where someone has masturbated, claiming that a doctor told him so. never got to convince him of the impossibility of the thing).
i call this attitude "national geografic knowledge" or "toilet knowledge" because some people watch a documentary or read focus in the bathroom and become like archeologists or scientists in 10 minutes. a variant is the "it happened to a cousin of my girfriend's father's second wife's aunt, knowledge"
 Like private parts to the Gods are we, they play with us for their sport |
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ElevatorLady
= Cult of Ray =
385 Posts |
Posted - 06/12/2005 : 06:18:31
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quote:
Originally posted by mun chien andalusia
yes they are bullshitting you. nobody knows everything about everything. many people have only notions of a subject and yet they feel good about blattering about it with confidence.
That is very true. Some people just have that talent. They have good memory for details and no problem with filling in the blanks. They can sound like experts about topics they know almost nothing about. I have to say though, I don't mind that about people, for me it's enough to be able to recognise it. As long as it's not bad-intended and as long I'm not falling for it, it's all cool. |
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starmekitten
-= Forum Pistolera =-
United Kingdom
6370 Posts |
Posted - 06/12/2005 : 06:32:09
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You make a good point, there are the obvious bullshitters, the type who will argue with you on something you actually know about and feel they are always right, usually the type of moron who thinks they are excellent debaters but sctually just talk louder than everyone else and instead of listening wait for their chance to talk or, talk over you even, the twats.
But then there are these engaging so and so's who I find myself listening to for a long time because it's so interesting, and they ramble and they cover a thousand ideas and do so quietly and enthusiatically and it's hard to draw away from. The dreamer in me is impressed the cynic sits there and cries bullshit, ah I don't know.
You know the whole reason I chose biology to study (don't laugh) was because I wanted to be able to talk to my kids (if I ever have any) about the names of flowers and about different animals and all these pretty real world things, this is why I picked it. I switched to molecular because I liked the tiny world, I liked the idea that understanding came from the tiniest of building blocks, the biomedicine, thats just the most molecular based masters I could find and I've always worked in that sort of area anyway. But last night I was thinking about the stars (not that I could see any here mind) and about how I didn't know the name of constellations and it made me profoundly sad and if I didn't have this work to do for monday I probably would have tried to look it up.
Infinity is a strange concept as well, I did two maths A levels (dropped one near the end like a moron) and one day a lecture was taken over by the mathematical concept of infinity because I was so damned confused. Our teacher was explaining that while infinity was infinite there were larger and smaller infinities. Confusing huh? like if you ake all the whole numbers and extend them to infinity thats an infinity, but if you then take whole number decimals like 1.1, 1.2, 1.3 and extended that off to infinity then that was a larger infinity than the whole numbers one. See I've gone and confused myself again, but it was so damned interesting.
And I can't even stand to think about life after tre, because then I wonder if I'll have made any mark, how much of a memory will rmain, if I'll have made an impression and if i'd made the best of my time, it seems time speeds up and it weirds me out.
I think I need a coffee and a 'brufen. Night thoughts on a daytime aren't healthy!
 I joined the cult of the rolling panda/ just to watch the little fella roll |
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Monsieur
* Dog in the Sand *
France
1688 Posts |
Posted - 06/12/2005 : 06:39:28
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quote:
Originally posted by mun chien andalusia
... a guy who sustained that a woman can get pregnant by simply swimming in a pool where someone has masturbated, claiming that a doctor told him so. never got to convince him of the impossibility of the thing.
Wow. I might have children somewhere!
I will show you fear in a handful of dust |
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starmekitten
-= Forum Pistolera =-
United Kingdom
6370 Posts |
Posted - 06/12/2005 : 07:08:23
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quote:
Originally posted by Monsieur
Wow. I might have children somewhere!
I will show you fear in a handful of dust
It's this sort of thing that keeps me awake at night.
I joined the cult of the rolling panda/ just to watch the little fella roll |
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floop
= Wannabe Volunteer =
Mexico
15297 Posts |
Posted - 06/12/2005 : 10:19:13
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| i'm still trying to figure out why they have braille at drive-thru ATM's |
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Mass Pleeze
- FB Fan -
USA
153 Posts |
Posted - 06/12/2005 : 10:30:43
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Starme,
Molecular biology and the whole biomed field is important and could be your vehicle to a lasting impact on this poor mixed up world.
With dedicated research you might discover a cure for parkinson's, pancreatic cancer, ms, etc. One of those maladies that create more havoc than usual in peoples lives.
You could impact families and the world in a big way. Go for it.
Frank's and the Pixies' art can inspire achievements of that magnitude and it is worth it.
Go for it, believe, anything can happen<ing>.
can you swing from a good rope? building jumper |
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kathryn
~ Selkie Bride ~
Belgium
15320 Posts |
Posted - 06/12/2005 : 10:32:36
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quote:
Originally posted by mun chien andalusia
quote:
Originally posted by starmekitten
I meet some people who can talk about anything and seem to do so with confidence, are they bull-shitting me or is there some trick to it?
yes they are bullshitting you. nobody knows everything about everything. many people have only notions of a subject and yet they feel good about blattering about it with confidence. happens always to me. stupid example: a guy comes over and starts talking about music and how cool he is and how he listens to alternative stuff. inevitably the pixies came out and it ended that he had no idea about who they were having only listened to WIMM as the tittle song of the fight club. what an ass. everyday i meet people that blatter about p2p or other computer stuff, with strong opinions too, and the only thing they know on the argument is an article or a news piece. let alone when it comes to my camp (medicine) where i've heard so much crap that i can't remember all of it (one of the funniest: a guy who sustained that a woman can get pregnant by simply swimming in a pool where someone has masturbated, claiming that a doctor told him so. never got to convince him of the impossibility of the thing).
i call this attitude "national geografic knowledge" or "toilet knowledge" because some people watch a documentary or read focus in the bathroom and become like archeologists or scientists in 10 minutes. a variant is the "it happened to a cousin of my girfriend's father's second wife's aunt, knowledge"
Like private parts to the Gods are we, they play with us for their sport
mun, you are so totally my secret forum crush, man. Anybody that can
make me laugh out loud for a solid minute would be! Great post!
I still believe in the excellent joy of the Catholics |
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starmekitten
-= Forum Pistolera =-
United Kingdom
6370 Posts |
Posted - 06/12/2005 : 12:41:48
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| I just, feel so stupid about things sometimes. I like to listen to people talk, I like reading what people have to say on here even if it contradicts my way of thinking I like the different perspectives. I find myself getting so frustrated that I really poorly try to articulate what it is thats in my head (curse of the introvert reading superbounders post) and I hate the poor grasp I have on so many things. I tend to ask a lot of questions (which people assume as dumbness sometimes, I think it's just a wanting to know) I don't know where this feeling is coming from right now, I just wanted to know if it's normal and everyone goes through this sort of smallness? |
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Coldheartofstone
* Dog in the Sand *
Canada
2025 Posts |
Posted - 06/12/2005 : 12:45:26
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quote:
Originally posted by floop
when i was younger i used to think about things and get depressed.
now i just drink a lot of beer
THAT'S the spirit
If time is my vessel, then learning to love
Might be my way back to sea |
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Coldheartofstone
* Dog in the Sand *
Canada
2025 Posts |
Posted - 06/12/2005 : 12:47:55
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quote:
Originally posted by starmekitten
I just, feel so stupid about things sometimes. I like to listen to people talk, I like reading what people have to say on here even if it contradicts my way of thinking I like the different perspectives. I find myself getting so frustrated that I really poorly try to articulate what it is thats in my head (curse of the introvert reading superbounders post) and I hate the poor grasp I have on so many things. I tend to ask a lot of questions (which people assume as dumbness sometimes, I think it's just a wanting to know) I don't know where this feeling is coming from right now, I just wanted to know if it's normal and everyone goes through this sort of smallness?
Just the fact that you even worry about these things shows that you have a better understanding than a lot of people who would rather just sit back and take it. I feel like this all the time, you are quite normal in my books...but I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing.
If time is my vessel, then learning to love
Might be my way back to sea |
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ElevatorLady
= Cult of Ray =
385 Posts |
Posted - 06/12/2005 : 14:21:20
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Just like Coldheartofstone said, I feel like that all the time but that doesn't mean you are normal. I'm a poor standard for normality.
And to continue the theme, there is no such thing as normal and not normal, there's just average and rare. Being average is much simpler and makes people much happier, but being rare can be so much more interesting. Feeling small and ignorant can be depressing (or it can make you an alcoholic) but it also forces you to make questions and come up with interesting and exciting (although probably mostly inaccurate) ideas.
Just some random thoughts here, hope it makes some sense to somebody, if not just ignore me.
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Frog in the Sand
-+ Le premiere frog +-
France
2715 Posts |
Posted - 06/12/2005 : 15:08:53
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quote:
Originally posted by ElevatorLady
Just like Coldheartofstone said, I feel like that all the time but that doesn't mean you are normal. I'm a poor standard for normality.
And to continue the theme, there is no such thing as normal and not normal, there's just average and rare. Being average is much simpler and makes people much happier, but being rare can be so much more interesting. Feeling small and ignorant can be depressing (or it can make you an alcoholic) but it also forces you to make questions and come up with interesting and exciting (although probably mostly inaccurate) ideas.
Just some random thoughts here, hope it makes some sense to somebody, if not just ignore me.
When will Frank find Lyle, Nick and Eric Drew again? |
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ElevatorLady
= Cult of Ray =
385 Posts |
Posted - 06/12/2005 : 17:34:17
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quote:
Originally posted by ElevatorLady
if not just ignore me.
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Edited by - ElevatorLady on 06/12/2005 17:35:51 |
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starmekitten
-= Forum Pistolera =-
United Kingdom
6370 Posts |
Posted - 06/13/2005 : 04:00:39
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| I guess maybe I shouldn't have used the normal world, what I should have said is am I not the only one who feels like this please oh please tell me I am not alone but I figured it sounded a touch whiny! It's a damned relief though and if it means I'm among a group that includes coldie and El, it can't be so bad! |
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 06/13/2005 : 12:15:07
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It's quite normal to think like this. I don't believe the universe will go on without me. I don't think I am ever gonna leave it. And I don't feel insignificant, everything is significant in some way.
I guess floop WAS right!
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KimStanleyRobinson
* Dog in the Sand *
1972 Posts |
Posted - 06/13/2005 : 13:58:55
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quote:
Originally posted by ElevatorLady
Feeling small and ignorant can be depressing (or it can make you an alcoholic) but it also forces you to make questions and come up with interesting and exciting (although probably mostly inaccurate) ideas.
umm, yeah.
*gurgle gurgle gurgle* |
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Daisy Girl
~ Abstract Brain ~
Belize
5305 Posts |
Posted - 06/13/2005 : 17:50:12
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| i just feel dumb sometimes becasue I used to know way more but I have forgotten so much stuff!! like about movies, and poetry, music and art. I used to be really good at triva but I am not. |
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Carolynanna
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Canada
6556 Posts |
Posted - 06/13/2005 : 23:56:15
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I always respect people who are intelligent but not afraid to ask questions about a topic or say they don't know something if they don't know it. I find the most intelligent people I know to be enthusiastic and always want to know more. Its not an ego thing like your standard bullshitter.
I have a couple friends and my mom is the worst for making shit up for the sake of having something to say. It drives me insane. I'll ask them something and then have to say something like, are you sure cuz I'm going to go by that, and then they'll admit they're just making it up.
__________
Don't believe the hype. |
Edited by - Carolynanna on 06/14/2005 00:06:55 |
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floop
= Wannabe Volunteer =
Mexico
15297 Posts |
Posted - 06/14/2005 : 07:57:24
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quote:
Originally posted by Carolynanna
I have a couple friends and my mom is the worst for making shit up for the sake of having something to say. It drives me insane. I'll ask them something and then have to say something like, are you sure cuz I'm going to go by that, and then they'll admit they're just making it up.
__________
Don't believe the hype.
the clinical term for that phenomenon is calumnior ementior, from the Latin, which means "pretending not to pretend". Freud was very interested in this before he died and actually has an unpublished book on the subject.
ok, fine, i made that up |
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VoVat
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
USA
9168 Posts |
Posted - 06/15/2005 : 18:02:07
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I'm very introverted, but I tend to think I'm good at bullshitting, at least so far as pretending to know what I'm talking about when I really have no clue goes. Maybe I overestimate my abilities in this respect, though.
quote:
But last night I was thinking about the stars (not that I could see any here mind) and about how I didn't know the name of constellations and it made me profoundly sad and if I didn't have this work to do for monday I probably would have tried to look it up.
I used to enjoy reading astronomy books as a kid, but I still can't recognize any constellations other than Orion and the Big Dipper.
I'm not usually that bothered by the fact that I'm merely a speck in the universe. (Maybe that's why I don't drink beer.) I AM bothered by the fact that people generally don't pay attention to me, though. And I'm definitely afraid of death. I can see why so many people believe in an afterlife, but I just can't.
I was all out of luck, like a duck that died. I was all out of juice, like a moose denied. |
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starmekitten
-= Forum Pistolera =-
United Kingdom
6370 Posts |
Posted - 06/19/2005 : 15:27:16
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I'm just going to ignore your post there vovat to make a post and pre-emptive apology for any threads my reflective mood may cause.
I'm sorry.
I'm still going to do it though.
So what were you saying about people paying no attention to you again?
The easiest way to sleep at night is to carry on believing that I don't exist |
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Daisy Girl
~ Abstract Brain ~
Belize
5305 Posts |
Posted - 06/19/2005 : 18:59:28
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| Vovat we notice you!!! |
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Mass Pleeze
- FB Fan -
USA
153 Posts |
Posted - 06/19/2005 : 19:03:33
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quote:
Originally posted by Daisy Girl
i just feel dumb sometimes becasue I used to know way more but I have forgotten so much stuff!! like about movies, and poetry, music and art. I used to be really good at triva but I am not.
Vitamin B, spinach, ginko may help.
Smoking, drinking and steroid laced meats do not.
Take careor it gets worse but good point, liked the comments. out
can you swing from a good rope?
building jumper |
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The world is so big and I feel so small!
