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starmekitten
-= Forum Pistolera =-
United Kingdom
6370 Posts |
 Posted - 03/26/2005 : 17:25:22
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yeah, my litany of stories about interesting infections, things you find in food, what mould in the bathroom can do to you, things I've seen in sugery, parasites that cats carry, strange medical procedures that most people don't think are real, the fascinating colour range of puss, puke and other such bodily fluids I saw whilst working in the old poeples home on a night as an undergrad, the right way to clean a stoma and squeeze one out if you have to, emptying catheter bags and that time we had to sift through two buckets of human waste to find out where the waste had come from are known for putting the sex into any party
 cats have nine lives/ which makes them ideal for experimentation |
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PixieSteve
> Teenager of the Year <
Poland
4698 Posts |
Posted - 03/26/2005 : 17:28:13
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| so i've heard. listen, i'm having a party the end of april, want to come? |
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dayanara
* Dog in the Sand *
Australia
1811 Posts |
Posted - 03/27/2005 : 07:04:26
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tre, you and i would have such a fun time together. seriously.
so this colonics business - it's pretty much a power enema, yes? seems like you could perf an intestine without trying too hard. i watched dave navarro get one on mtv once.
I love my dead gay son! |
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starmekitten
-= Forum Pistolera =-
United Kingdom
6370 Posts |
Posted - 03/27/2005 : 07:18:30
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I considered stealing one of these once
but then was a little put off by how far the after spray went with his one person after a particularily tricky night at work. It's a bloody good job I always took spare clothes to work I tell you.
day, we should hang out sometime
cats have nine lives/ which makes them ideal for experimentation |
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dayanara
* Dog in the Sand *
Australia
1811 Posts |
Posted - 03/27/2005 : 07:22:28
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we're big on therevac and soap-sud enemas where i work. i avoid them like the plague.
<shudder>
I love my dead gay son! |
Edited by - dayanara on 03/27/2005 07:22:52 |
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starmekitten
-= Forum Pistolera =-
United Kingdom
6370 Posts |
Posted - 03/27/2005 : 07:31:16
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thats not nice! squeezy bottle nozzle up the jacksy run away as soon as it's mentioned is the way forward when administering them I think, hang on, just how TINY are they! I've never come accross those before, I thankfully haven't had to assist in any of that business for a while now.
and for anyone who is interested, how to give yourself an enema
I don't think I'd have a bash at home, colonic irrigation sounds so much nicer than enema I think
cats have nine lives/ which makes them ideal for experimentation |
Edited by - starmekitten on 03/27/2005 08:00:05 |
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dayanara
* Dog in the Sand *
Australia
1811 Posts |
Posted - 03/27/2005 : 08:09:24
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i never use those little squeezies, i take the therevac ampules and stick them in a regular fleets applicator and stand way back. when you're working with hemi's, para's and quad's everything takes a 3 person assist, so at least i always have folks around to commiserate with.
I love my dead gay son! |
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Newo
~ Abstract Brain ~
Spain
2674 Posts |
Posted - 03/27/2005 : 09:01:05
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Vibrator in the rectum. The patient attempted self-removal with a pair of salad tongs, which also became lodged, resulting in two rectal foreign bodies. Multiple attempts at self-removal are typical in patients with rectal foreign bodies.
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"Here love," brakes on a high squeak, "itīs not backstage at the old Windmill or something, you know." |
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starmekitten
-= Forum Pistolera =-
United Kingdom
6370 Posts |
Posted - 03/27/2005 : 09:15:52
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I used to live with a radiographer who told me a charming story about a girl who was obsessed with hospitals, came in for a foreign object removal and had to stay in for a few days afterwards, the night before her release from hospital she went to the nurses bathroom, unscrewed the lightbulb stuck it inside herself and squeezed, apparantly it took hours to get all the bits of glass out
cats have nine lives/ which makes them ideal for experimentation |
Edited by - starmekitten on 03/27/2005 09:16:31 |
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starmekitten
-= Forum Pistolera =-
United Kingdom
6370 Posts |
Posted - 03/27/2005 : 09:22:14
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which reminds me....
potatoes and Jelly
THESE PICTURES MIGHT NOT BE CONSIDERED NICE
cats have nine lives/ which makes them ideal for experimentation |
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Newo
~ Abstract Brain ~
Spain
2674 Posts |
Posted - 03/27/2005 : 09:46:27
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I think it'd almost be worth working as a hopspital porter just to hear the stories these guys come waddling in with, Uh I was bathing the dog in the shower and I fell on this jar of mango chutney. I mean, you're in casualty on a Saturday night with two items of kitchenware in you, I'd say that's kind of transcending shame, so why bother with the tale? It must be really refreshing for a doctor to find someone who sez I like sticking weird things in or on me, doc.
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"Here love," brakes on a high squeak, "itīs not backstage at the old Windmill or something, you know." |
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offerw
* Dog in the Sand *
South Africa
1264 Posts |
Posted - 03/27/2005 : 11:20:12
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Dealt with a guy once who threaded an ureteric stent up his own urethra and "lost" it. The stent had been removed from his wife a week before and was taken home as a souvenir. They were being kinky.
I also know about a guy who was wearing too tight a cockring and passed out after lots of sex/drugs/drinking. By the time he woke up his scrotum had swolen so much he could not remove the ring.It had to be removed in theater under anaesthesia but the urologist had no instruments to cut through the ring, they called the fire department and an extremely amused fireman had to work on the ring with a fancy little angle grinder thingy.
wilhelm |
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starmekitten
-= Forum Pistolera =-
United Kingdom
6370 Posts |
Posted - 03/27/2005 : 11:37:15
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reminds me of this program that was on, 100 most embarassing sexual accidents, one guy thought it would be a 'sweet' thing to stick a flower up his urethra for when his lover came home, when he tried to take it out though all those little hairs on the flower stem shredded him to ribbons.
That was a funny program, the things some people do for kicks.
cats have nine lives/ which makes them ideal for experimentation |
Edited by - starmekitten on 03/27/2005 11:38:18 |
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kathryn
~ Selkie Bride ~
Belgium
15320 Posts |
Posted - 03/27/2005 : 18:27:59
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this is turning into the
Best.....thread.... ever!
I love these stories.
Keep 'em coming, people! Sadly, I have nothing to
add here but I do keep remembering yet more personal
anecdotes to post in the "Hey, It seemed like a good idea
at the time" thread.
 I still believe in the excellent joy of the Catholics |
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Newo
~ Abstract Brain ~
Spain
2674 Posts |
Posted - 03/28/2005 : 04:10:07
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Friend of mine woke up in the middle of the night after some loving with a girl in his uni to find his cock all monstrously misshapen and the most livid shade of purple he'd ever seen it, what'd happened was he'd torn the condom off minus the rubber ring.
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"Here love," brakes on a high squeak, "itīs not backstage at the old Windmill or something, you know." |
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 03/28/2005 : 05:50:48
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How the fuck did he manage that?
Hansel and Gretel have formed a band, .....And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Breadcrumbs!!!
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Newo
~ Abstract Brain ~
Spain
2674 Posts |
Posted - 03/28/2005 : 05:59:00
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Boom tssh...
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"Here love," brakes on a high squeak, "itīs not backstage at the old Windmill or something, you know." |
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kathryn
~ Selkie Bride ~
Belgium
15320 Posts |
Posted - 03/28/2005 : 11:27:13
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A friend of mine in college claimed that he once woke
up next to a girl and he ...nope. Better not.
I still believe in the excellent joy of the Catholics |
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tobafett
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1713 Posts |
Posted - 03/28/2005 : 11:36:51
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aw, c'mon! tell us about your "friend"!  |
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kathryn
~ Selkie Bride ~
Belgium
15320 Posts |
Posted - 03/28/2005 : 11:42:25
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Seriously. It was my "friend." My housemate in college
claimed came back to campus after the summer
and claimed that he'd woken up one morning
next to his summer-share housemate, a girl from
Boston, and he...nope. Can't do it. Too graphic.
I still believe in the excellent joy of the Catholics |
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dayanara
* Dog in the Sand *
Australia
1811 Posts |
Posted - 03/28/2005 : 12:22:47
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boooo!
kathryn, don't make me post the one i told you about the lady irrigating her own colon with her fingernails. break out the story.
I love my dead gay son! |
Edited by - dayanara on 03/28/2005 12:23:13 |
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kathryn
~ Selkie Bride ~
Belgium
15320 Posts |
Posted - 03/28/2005 : 12:27:33
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Ooooh! Post that one! It's a fave of mine.
The one I'm keeping quiet about isn't about
colonics or gross things, it's about sex and it
involves, I swear to god, luncheon meats and
two Harvard grads.
Post yours! Post yours!
I still believe in the excellent joy of the Catholics |
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dayanara
* Dog in the Sand *
Australia
1811 Posts |
Posted - 03/28/2005 : 12:29:22
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quote:
Originally posted by kathryn
Ooooh! Post that one! It's a fave of mine.
The one I'm keeping quiet about isn't about
colonics or gross things, it's about sex and it
involves, I swear to god, luncheon meats and
two Harvard grads.
I still believe in the excellent joy of the Catholics
if you don't post that i may never speak to you again.
I love my dead gay son! |
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kathryn
~ Selkie Bride ~
Belgium
15320 Posts |
Posted - 03/28/2005 : 12:34:26
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Because I would never want to upset the forum's official
Registered Nurse, I am forced to post the following:
my housemate returned from summer vacation boasting
of a story that involved him waking up after a drunken
blackout and finding in his bed his female summer sublet housemate, who was also passed out after the previous evening's revelry, as well as finding a salami which looked
like it had been used as a sexual aid during the aforementioned
festivities. He claims she eventually woke up and demanded
a repeat performance, which he obliged. They both now have
MBAs from Harvard and make oodles of money.
I still believe in the excellent joy of the Catholics |
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dayanara
* Dog in the Sand *
Australia
1811 Posts |
Posted - 03/28/2005 : 12:36:45
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are these the same people that left thongs in your sheets?
I love my dead gay son! |
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kathryn
~ Selkie Bride ~
Belgium
15320 Posts |
Posted - 03/28/2005 : 12:39:17
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Nope. Those are my artsy NYC gallery friends.
Plus, that was a threesome.
I'm feeling like I should pop over to the Father Floop
thread and find out how I can get some penance.
I still believe in the excellent joy of the Catholics |
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tobafett
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1713 Posts |
Posted - 03/28/2005 : 13:11:43
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quote:
Originally posted by kathryn
I'm feeling like I should pop over to the Father Floop
thread and find out how I can get some penance.
funny, i was thinkin' I should pop out and get some salami. |
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kathryn
~ Selkie Bride ~
Belgium
15320 Posts |
Posted - 03/28/2005 : 13:16:15
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I've lost my appetite.
I still believe in the excellent joy of the Catholics |
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 03/28/2005 : 14:07:38
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quote:
Originally posted by tobafett
quote:
Originally posted by kathryn
I'm feeling like I should pop over to the Father Floop
thread and find out how I can get some penance.
funny, i was thinkin' I should pop out and get some salami.
If you manage to pop out, you shouldn't need the salami.
Hansel and Gretel have formed a band, .....And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Breadcrumbs!!!
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KimStanleyRobinson
* Dog in the Sand *
1972 Posts |
Posted - 03/28/2005 : 14:34:17
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Why is the tv commercial tune "I'm gonna wash that gray right out of my hair" from the 70's stuck in my head?
So, needless to say, if you were waiting around with five bucks in your hand waiting to buy my upcoming brochure Understanding Poop, you can put that five bucks away, 'cause it ain't happenin.
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 03/28/2005 : 14:36:07
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You know I never saw the innuendo in that song until now.
Hansel and Gretel have formed a band, .....And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Breadcrumbs!!!
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tobafett
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1713 Posts |
Posted - 03/28/2005 : 15:29:16
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quote:
Originally posted by Homers_pet_monkey
quote:
Originally posted by tobafett
quote:
Originally posted by kathryn
I'm feeling like I should pop over to the Father Floop
thread and find out how I can get some penance.
funny, i was thinkin' I should pop out and get some salami.
If you manage to pop out, you shouldn't need the salami.
HA! i was thinking along the lines that somewhere there must be a girl buying a salami and wanting to have a good time.
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kathryn
~ Selkie Bride ~
Belgium
15320 Posts |
Posted - 03/28/2005 : 17:03:00
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I regret having posted that.
I still believe in the excellent joy of the Catholics |
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 03/29/2005 : 09:25:04
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You posted the salami? Who to?
Hansel and Gretel have formed a band, .....And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Breadcrumbs!!!
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VoVat
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
USA
9168 Posts |
Posted - 04/01/2005 : 18:00:51
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So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus, and I bit off his ear
and he chewed off my eyebrows, and I took out his appendix and he gave
me a colonic irrigation, yes indeed, you better believe it.
"Reunion? Shit union!" |
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colonic irrigation
