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speedy_m
= Frankofile =
Canada
3581 Posts |
 Posted - 03/17/2005 : 11:36:25
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quote:
Originally posted by floop
quote:
Originally posted by kathryn
But did I schlep back from Cambridge to return it? Nope. I kept it.
and now you can schlep yourself straight to hell (but at least you'll have a nice, free sweater)
ist es möglich für ein quesadilla skrotum zu lecken? beim sprechen der quesadillas von LBF, ja. ja in der tatheheheheheheehehee!
Guess she should have stolen one of those mini battery powered fans. And some batteries. An eternity of batteries. |
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kathryn
~ Selkie Bride ~
Belgium
15320 Posts |
Posted - 03/17/2005 : 11:51:27
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In college, the hippies who lived down the hall were forever
stealing contraceptive jelly and rationalizing it with this
bust-your-gut hilarious speeches (which were meant to
be earnest and revolutionary, and not funny) about
"Fortune 500 companies owing something to
"the people," so it was right that "the people" would
steal from "the man" because it was not really stealing.
I'd be stoned listening to them and peeing in my pants.
 I still believe in the excellent joy of the Catholics |
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ObfuscateByWill
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1887 Posts |
Posted - 03/17/2005 : 11:53:58
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quote:
Originally posted by floop
i saw some lady steal something in the supermarket the other day. that was kind of cool. we gave each other a knowing grin
the best way to steal something (listen up all you younger forum members: Sir Rockaby etc..) is you have to also buy something. you look way more suspicious if you just walk out.
I was always kinda brazen about it. Item(s) in hand w/head high. Worked for me.
Or go in and make off with a few of the store's shopping bags. (Works in larger stores w/more than 1-2 cashiers)
That worked well in big stores like Wal-Mart, Staples and Sears.
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Know where the theft-deterrent devices are. Remove 'em if you can.
If you can't, buy something that you know has one inside the package. Some safety razors or socks or something like that. When you alarm the exit, just show 'em the receipt and they'll normally just let you walk on. (Big risk, though. I did this a couple of times and pulled it off.)
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I still sometimes swipe things by simply putting them in the bottom rack of a shopping cart. Most casheirs don't bother to look down there or don't care that you're taking the stuff.
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Also helps to be white, I think.
 Take a bite of the chocolate coffin. |
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Sir Rockabye
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1158 Posts |
Posted - 03/17/2005 : 12:19:32
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You guys (esp. Floop and K) are responsible for corrupting my innocent youth. Me, steal? Never. The closest I've ever come to stealing is eating food while still inside the grocery store, and forgetting to pay for it. Been guilty of that a few times.
Are you honest when no one's looking? Can you summon honey from a telephone? They sat there with their hooks in the water and their mustaches caked with airplane glue. |
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GypsyDeath
Zapped Profile
3575 Posts |
Posted - 03/17/2005 : 12:31:59
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I have to admit, I am incredibly guilty of stealing. I (used to) steal all the time...to the point I think there was a problem really.
Got caught once,when I was 14 in WHSmiths -taken to the police station and stuff. Was my boyfriends fault though. he made it too obvious. I prefer to work alone...
lol
I would only ever steal from large stores though. That was i think my only moral about it. Large chain stores. Never people family business or anythign like that.
Please support the petition for a Carter USM DVD. Download, print and sign a petition form from http://ambernet.no-ip.org/petition.doc |
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n/a
deleted
4109 Posts |
Posted - 03/17/2005 : 12:34:37
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quote:
Originally posted by floop
i saw some lady steal something in the supermarket the other day. that was kind of cool. we gave each other a knowing grin
the best way to steal something (listen up all you younger forum members: Sir Rockaby etc..) is you have to also buy something. you look way more suspicious if you just walk out.
ist es möglich für ein quesadilla skrotum zu lecken? beim sprechen der quesadillas von LBF, ja. ja in der tatheheheheheheehehee!
You're an expert floop!
If you want something don't ask for nothing
if you want nothing don't ask for something! |
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kathryn
~ Selkie Bride ~
Belgium
15320 Posts |
Posted - 03/17/2005 : 12:35:36
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Officers, arrest this young man immediately. Then, alert
all college-admissions officials! Eating food out of the bag!
I still believe in the excellent joy of the Catholics |
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GypsyDeath
Zapped Profile
3575 Posts |
Posted - 03/17/2005 : 12:40:49
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Also, i totally agree with Floop. Always buy something when you steal. It really works.
Also, if in a large store, wait for a crowd of people to walk out, and walk out with them. Takes ages for the security to get to the doors, and when they do...they dont know how many peole walked through.
Please support the petition for a Carter USM DVD. Download, print and sign a petition form from http://ambernet.no-ip.org/petition.doc |
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floop
= Wannabe Volunteer =
Mexico
15297 Posts |
Posted - 03/17/2005 : 12:49:56
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always carry a knife with you too. worst-case-scenario, if some wise-ass security guard comes after you, you can stick 'em
ist es möglich für ein quesadilla skrotum zu lecken? beim sprechen der quesadillas von LBF, ja. ja in der tatheheheheheheehehee! |
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Cheeseman1000
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Iceland
8201 Posts |
Posted - 03/17/2005 : 12:55:31
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quote:
Originally posted by kathryn
Officers, arrest this young man immediately. Then, alert
all college-admissions officials! Eating food out of the bag!
I still believe in the excellent joy of the Catholics
Consider me alerted! (I don't think I qualify as 'all' college admissions officers, but I'm a big fish in a small pond).
I say that, get a B at High School and an SAT 1 of 1100 and you're in.
 I'm like a lost snail in the night. |
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floop
= Wannabe Volunteer =
Mexico
15297 Posts |
Posted - 03/17/2005 : 12:58:33
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quote:
Originally posted by GypsyDeath
Also, i totally agree with Floop.
ist es möglich für ein quesadilla skrotum zu lecken? beim sprechen der quesadillas von LBF, ja. ja in der tatheheheheheheehehee! |
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 03/17/2005 : 13:47:56
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OK everybody, this is a stick up!
IMAGE REMOVED
Hansel and Gretel have formed a band, .....And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Breadcrumbs!!!
Dude, don't post stuff like that. |
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KimStanleyRobinson
* Dog in the Sand *
1972 Posts |
Posted - 03/17/2005 : 15:05:09
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I have stolen.
Mostly cigarettes - back in the 80's before supermarkets had them all locked down.
I'd take two packs off the shelf obviously, walk around the place a while, find a secluded spot, stick one pack in my sock, then stroll back (picking up an apple or a piece of gum to buy) and place the pack of smokes back on the rack as if I had decided not to buy it.
I was a kid - 14, 15 or so.
Never got busted.
Funny thing - I got accused at this same place at a time when I hadn't stolen anything.
I was walking out - was outside when 'the dude' - the guy with the keys - comes walking up all urgent-like.
"Could you come in side for a moment?"
"Sure!"
inside,
"Do you have something you didn't pay for?
"Umm, no."
empties pockets.
contents include a few dollars, some keys, a lighter, some gum and a Marlboro Lights pack with 4 cigarettes in it.
The Dude calls someone in...they argue that they saw me take something, which is impossible because I hadn't taken anything.
I laughed at them.
They let me go.
I had a rather dark youth. |
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floop
= Wannabe Volunteer =
Mexico
15297 Posts |
Posted - 03/17/2005 : 15:12:45
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in my harass-adults-skateboarder-days we used to pretend we were stealing something, just to fuck with store owners (like, in a VERY obvious, stylized way. looking around suspiciously etc, making quick movements etc..). that was always good fun
ist es möglich für ein quesadilla skrotum zu lecken? beim sprechen der quesadillas von LBF, ja. ja in der tatheheheheheheehehee! |
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 03/17/2005 : 15:13:28
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Hmmm , how come my image was removed yet Elephant's in the 'Share Something Confusing' thread was not? Almost identical.
Hansel and Gretel have formed a band, .....And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Breadcrumbs!!!
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 03/17/2005 : 15:14:43
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I once robbed a kitten.
Hansel and Gretel have formed a band, .....And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Breadcrumbs!!!
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KimStanleyRobinson
* Dog in the Sand *
1972 Posts |
Posted - 03/17/2005 : 15:19:44
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Isn't there a formula somewhere that can be used to calculate the probability of the appearence of the preceeding image on a forum or messageboard?
I know there is a law that has to do with Hitler being mentioned...can't remember it now.
There should be a kitty/gun pic formula. |
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floop
= Wannabe Volunteer =
Mexico
15297 Posts |
Posted - 03/17/2005 : 15:21:32
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also a canada/"best job in the world list" formula
ist es möglich für ein quesadilla skrotum zu lecken? beim sprechen der quesadillas von LBF, ja. ja in der tatheheheheheheehehee! |
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
Posted - 03/17/2005 : 15:26:17
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It must be one of the most popular pictures of recent time already. It is good though.
Hansel and Gretel have formed a band, .....And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Breadcrumbs!!!
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Cult_Of_Frank
= Black Noise Maker =
Canada
11687 Posts |
Posted - 03/17/2005 : 15:34:32
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Because, despite popular opinion, I'm not omniscient. :P
"Join the Cult of Frank / Seriously." |
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broken part
- FB Fan -
226 Posts |
Posted - 03/17/2005 : 15:57:33
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I regularly steal food from the canteen. But I like to call it equity. If I had to pay £10 for a meal they'd be stealing from me.
Besides this one is about survival. |
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VoVat
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
USA
9168 Posts |
Posted - 03/17/2005 : 17:05:12
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quote:
Know where the theft-deterrent devices are. Remove 'em if you can.
I do have to wonder why so many stores put those things on the OUTSIDE of packages. I mean, I guess it will stop people from accidentally walking out with such things, but I doubt it stops very many thieves.
"Reunion? Shit union!" |
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kathryn
~ Selkie Bride ~
Belgium
15320 Posts |
Posted - 03/17/2005 : 17:16:02
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What is there to steal from a cat?
I still believe in the excellent joy of the Catholics |
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VoVat
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
USA
9168 Posts |
Posted - 03/17/2005 : 17:58:52
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Cat food?
"Reunion? Shit union!" |
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mun chien andalusia
= Quote Accumulator =
Italy
2139 Posts |
Posted - 03/17/2005 : 18:10:50
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well you must define better "stealing" because there are similar things that i consider more like "borrowing" or "not spending money on useless things that you have terrible need off but you cannot afford"
for what i remember i've stolen or borrowed or confiscated:
porn mags since internet didn't exist at the time
audio cassetes when a cd burner was a sci fi dream
condoms
sigarettes
ashtrays and glasses from pubs
batteries
an infinite number of bic lighters (tho' i don't do it on purpose i just find them in my pocket)
all kinds of signs (no smoking, ladies room, speed, work in progress etc)
3 or 4 mirrors for my scooter since mine were regularly stolen
probably other stuff that i don't remember.
and you can't steal mp3's. how cn you stel a thing that does not even exist?
 join the cult of errol\and you can have a beer\without having to quit smoking
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starmekitten
-= Forum Pistolera =-
United Kingdom
6370 Posts |
Posted - 03/17/2005 : 18:13:38
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I've been known to lift little things from work (although that is mostly unintentional)
at the end of the day whipping off the theatre blues whatever crap thats accumulated
in the pockets gets shoved without thought into the bag, from medical tape and pens
to really odd things like blades and stiches and theatre masks
If work canteens have salad bars or similar I rarely pay for what I take from them
and I've abused the NHS catering service severly (literally food from
the ward trolleys) although,
only really leftovers and it would have been thrown out anyway (probably)
From shops when I was young I did lift a few times, usually around mothers day/parents/siblings
birthdays, we were very poor and I suffer from a selective catholic guilt
always look after the folks first heh
used to steal magazines and sweets from one shop a few times as a kid, and like KSR the one
time they pulled me up for it I hadn't touched a thing, the woman practically made
me strip outside the shop to prove it to her, I stopped after that
do drunk things count? pub parephenalia plant pots and work yard bricks
many many times
 cats have nine lives/ which makes them ideal for experimentation |
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Broken Face
-= Forum Pistolero =-
USA
5155 Posts |
Posted - 03/17/2005 : 18:17:53
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oh, and i have a ton of CDs from my college radio station - but most were either a) being thrown out or b) never played. seriously. i used to keep the records of what was being played, and not once did they ever play half the stuff that moonwalked into my messenger bag
-Brian
If you move I shoots!
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VoVat
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
USA
9168 Posts |
Posted - 03/17/2005 : 18:37:20
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Behold, I come as a thief in the night!
"Reunion? Shit union!" |
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Erebus
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1834 Posts |
Posted - 03/17/2005 : 23:27:41
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quote:
Originally posted by Broken Face
oh, and i have a ton of CDs from my college radio station - but most were either a) being thrown out or b) never played. seriously. i used to keep the records of what was being played, and not once did they ever play half the stuff that moonwalked into my messenger bag
-Brian
Now, this is liberation. |
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shineoftheever
> Teenager of the Year <
Canada
4307 Posts |
Posted - 03/17/2005 : 23:34:05
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I don't mind stealing bread as long as it's From the mouths of decadents. I have trouble feeding off the powerless, y'know when my cup's already overfilled, Yeahhhh! weel, if it's on the table and the fire's cooking, what do i care if they are farming babies whil,e the slaves are working?Blood is on the table and the mouths are choking, but I'm going hungry. like i said, I don't mind stealing bread from the mouths of decadentsbecause i'm going hungry! I'm going hungry! I'm going hungry!
 You can go eat a decroded piece of crap! |
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Surfer Rosa
> Teenager of the Year <
4209 Posts |
Posted - 03/18/2005 : 00:44:23
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Is it shoplifting if the store assistant "forgot" to ring it up?
The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it.
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shineoftheever
> Teenager of the Year <
Canada
4307 Posts |
Posted - 03/18/2005 : 00:49:32
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only if she "forgot" because it was hidden in your panties.
by the way, what does everybody think the most stolen item(s) is/are?
You can go eat a decroded piece of crap! |
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Surfer Rosa
> Teenager of the Year <
4209 Posts |
Posted - 03/18/2005 : 00:51:39
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Amoeba records - and I would have welcomed a full body search (though it would have been rather difficult to hide that many cds in my panties)
The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it.
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Edited by - Surfer Rosa on 03/18/2005 05:57:55 |
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GypsyDeath
Zapped Profile
3575 Posts |
Posted - 03/18/2005 : 05:52:37
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I guess the most stolen stuff is clothes or chocolate...at a guess that is.
Please support the petition for a Carter USM DVD. Download, print and sign a petition form from http://ambernet.no-ip.org/petition.doc |
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Broken Face
-= Forum Pistolero =-
USA
5155 Posts |
Posted - 03/18/2005 : 06:26:34
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quote:
Originally posted by shineoftheever
I don't mind stealing bread as long as it's From the mouths of decadents. I have trouble feeding off the powerless, y'know when my cup's already overfilled, Yeahhhh! weel, if it's on the table and the fire's cooking, what do i care if they are farming babies whil,e the slaves are working?Blood is on the table and the mouths are choking, but I'm going hungry. like i said, I don't mind stealing bread from the mouths of decadentsbecause i'm going hungry! I'm going hungry! I'm going hungry!
You can go eat a decroded piece of crap!
fuckin' hillarious shiney. temple of the dog!
-Brian
If you move I shoots!
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Topic |
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Are You a Thief?
