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dayanara
* Dog in the Sand *
Australia
1811 Posts |
 Posted - 02/24/2005 : 06:35:46
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ugh! i was working for a temp agency last year and got sent to a seedy nursing home to pick up late night shifts. this one sweet little old man called me into his room and told me that his back was itching really bad and he couldn't reach it. i rolled him over and yep, bedsore full of maggots. i nearly threw up.
so how 'bout that donut now, floop?
A monkey will eat dirt if you make him. |
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kathryn
~ Selkie Bride ~
Belgium
15320 Posts |
Posted - 02/24/2005 : 07:23:26
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quote:
Originally posted by Surfer Rosa
My elusive husband had a maggot growing in his back once. It was eating it's way out till it mutated into a fly.
Please, please, please tell me this can't possibly have happened!
 I still believe in the excellent joy of the Frank |
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Surfer Rosa
> Teenager of the Year <
4209 Posts |
Posted - 02/24/2005 : 07:28:51
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Happened while he was travelling through Africa - quite common actually, called a poetse (sp?) fly - the fly lays it's eggs in your clothes which then hatch and the larvae burrow into your skin where they feed off you till they full grown. The only way to get rid of them is to cut them out. Thankfully he only had one. The scar still itches though.
I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.
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kathryn
~ Selkie Bride ~
Belgium
15320 Posts |
Posted - 02/24/2005 : 07:45:27
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Thank you!
This is so cool. I want more!
Dayanara, pleeeeeeeeeease share more of these gross-outs
from the wonderful world of nursing.
I still believe in the excellent joy of the Frank |
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dayanara
* Dog in the Sand *
Australia
1811 Posts |
Posted - 02/24/2005 : 07:48:36
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i'm holding back because even though they're funny to me, most people just find them really, really disgusting. maybe i'll email you some later.
A monkey will eat dirt if you make him. |
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kathryn
~ Selkie Bride ~
Belgium
15320 Posts |
Posted - 02/24/2005 : 07:52:59
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I will be standing over my email app, tapping my foot, sighing
in a passive-aggressive fashion...waiting....waiting.....
I still believe in the excellent joy of the Frank |
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vilainde
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Niue
7443 Posts |
Posted - 02/24/2005 : 08:00:52
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This is becoming weird, kathryn. Do you fantasize about McDave having embarrasing and disgusting diseases?
Denis
"I believe in your perfect face..." |
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Carolynanna
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Canada
6556 Posts |
Posted - 02/24/2005 : 08:07:23
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I spose being a nurse you see a ton of gross things.
One of my friends is a nurse and she has really gross stories about people having things stuck in certain orifices. Once she told me about a lady who shoplifted a can of Aquanet hairspray...
Hey Kay, if a plantars wart isn't a wart, what is it?
__________
Godfather of nothing, ancesters of none.
Black glasses and feedback took my sense of fun.
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vilainde
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Niue
7443 Posts |
Posted - 02/24/2005 : 08:18:01
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This reminds me of the episode with the toy car in the Jackass movie... Probably the best sketch they've ever done in that show. "I'm not too excited about this skit, it's not my favorite I've ever done, because there's a toy car in my butt. But this is the "Butt X-Ray"."
Denis
"I believe in your perfect face..." |
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kathryn
~ Selkie Bride ~
Belgium
15320 Posts |
Posted - 02/24/2005 : 09:31:40
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I know someone who had to remove an apple from a patient's rectum.
Tennis, leave McDave out of this. He is pure.
Um, Carolyn, the plantar wart thing is (can I get some medical
help here, Dayanara?), I dunno, like a virus or something?
And you get these bumps at the bottom of your feet, your soles,
and they are removed by lazer.
I still believe in the excellent joy of the Frank |
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astrology
= Cult of Ray =
Saint Lucia
252 Posts |
Posted - 02/24/2005 : 10:03:40
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i dont like to name any medical condition embarassing.. but i have a friend whose mommy works as a nurse in urgencies and has had to recover cell phones from where no girl hears or likes to hear of...
I read some time ago that richard gere had a similar problem with a mouse..
seems that after michael jackson and george michael next one in his phonebook was mickey mouse
I'm a pistolero, i'm not shakin in my boots
I'm the ruler of this moon, if u move I shoots
the bad thing about talkin to inanimate things starts when they start complainin bout it |
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kathryn
~ Selkie Bride ~
Belgium
15320 Posts |
Posted - 02/24/2005 : 12:07:09
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Oh, Richard Gere and the gerbil is such an old urban legend.
But this cell phone thing sounds compelling. Are you saying people
are accidentally or on purpose jamming those things in their vaginas or
what? Jeez, I feel dirty just asking...
I still believe in the excellent joy of the Catholics |
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Surfer Rosa
> Teenager of the Year <
4209 Posts |
Posted - 02/24/2005 : 13:24:10
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I think it's the "switching to vibrate feature" that could be causing some confusion.
I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.
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The King Of Karaoke
> Teenager of the Year <
USA
3759 Posts |
Posted - 02/24/2005 : 14:45:05
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I was cicumcised at the age of six. I remember every painful minute outside of the actual surgery. I woke up on the table. My mom gave me one of those seventies Mc Donalds Hamburglar dolls to console me. It didn't help.
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Carolynanna
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Canada
6556 Posts |
Posted - 02/24/2005 : 14:48:55
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hahaha, Kok I know a guy who was circumcised when he was in his twenties........yeah his girlfriend refused to give him oral until he did.
__________
Godfather of nothing, ancesters of none.
Black glasses and feedback took my sense of fun.
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kathryn
~ Selkie Bride ~
Belgium
15320 Posts |
Posted - 02/24/2005 : 14:53:40
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I still believe in the excellent joy of the Catholics |
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shineoftheever
> Teenager of the Year <
Canada
4307 Posts |
Posted - 02/24/2005 : 14:55:46
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quote:
Originally posted by The King Of Karaoke
I was cicumcised at the age of six. I remember every painful minute outside of the actual surgery. I woke up on the table. My mom gave me one of those seventies Mc Donalds Hamburglar dolls to console me. It didn't help.
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i was four when i had the same surgery KOK, not fun! i stayed home for a week not wearing any pants or underwear. 
I'm what you call a repeat offender. I repeat, I will offend again! |
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kathryn
~ Selkie Bride ~
Belgium
15320 Posts |
Posted - 02/24/2005 : 14:59:32
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Seriously now, why would anybody put their little boy through that?
Were either of these medical necessities?
I still believe in the excellent joy of the Catholics |
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The King Of Karaoke
> Teenager of the Year <
USA
3759 Posts |
Posted - 02/24/2005 : 15:50:12
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My father was not circumcised and wanted the same for me and my brother. When My parents split I was circumcised.
Oooookaaaaay. I just did a google image search for foreskin... Not recommended.
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SpudBoy
= Cult of Ray =
Equatorial Guinea
649 Posts |
Posted - 02/24/2005 : 15:57:37
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Another way to deal with Tsetse or Botfly larvae (field surgery style): Get a cigarette or cigar and a set of tweezers. Light the smoke, and sharply exhale onto the heel of your hand. Repeat until a visible film of tar appears. Mix the tar with a little saliva, then paste it over the center of the maggot-bump. As these larvae require some air, they will have a tiny hole in the skin that they breathe through - when you fill it with poisonous tar, they try to stretch a little for air, then you grab the little bastard with the tweezers. PULL SLOWLY. The last thing you want is half a dead maggot embedded in your skin.
I am not a doctor - perform procedure purely at your own risk - I take no responsibility for your actions or the actions of others based on any imformation provided.
My own embarrassing medical condition is related to virulent bronchitis - the sulfonomide family of antibiotics wipes out the majority of flora in the intestinal tract, and being sulfur based, creates a lot of extremely rank gas. Elevators are fun to leave little presents in.
*festoon* |
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darwin
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
USA
5454 Posts |
Posted - 02/24/2005 : 15:58:18
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| Thanks mom! How old was your brother? |
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The King Of Karaoke
> Teenager of the Year <
USA
3759 Posts |
Posted - 02/24/2005 : 16:15:21
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2.
My brother had a habit of crawling into bed with me at night. Because of this they had to strap him down with a harness. At three in the mornig he's trying to stand up and raging like a tiny Hulk in the middle of his hospital crip. It was scary
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Edited by - The King Of Karaoke on 02/24/2005 16:18:35 |
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darwin
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
USA
5454 Posts |
Posted - 02/24/2005 : 16:19:21
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| Another approach for dealing with bot flies was displayed by one of our crazier biologists at the university. He walked around for several days with a thick piece of bacon wrapped around his head. The idea was that the maggot was going to move from one piece of meat (him) to another piece of meat. I don't know if it worked. |
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The King Of Karaoke
> Teenager of the Year <
USA
3759 Posts |
Posted - 02/24/2005 : 16:22:22
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I saw a photo somewhere where the botfly, instead of emerging, tunneled into the persons brain.
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Homers_pet_monkey
= Official forum monkey =
United Kingdom
17125 Posts |
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shineoftheever
> Teenager of the Year <
Canada
4307 Posts |
Posted - 02/24/2005 : 18:16:01
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quote:
Originally posted by kathryn
Seriously now, why would anybody put their little boy through that?
Were either of these medical necessities?
I still believe in the excellent joy of the Catholics
mine was, apparently it boils down to my knob being too large for the opening of the foreskin, so the foreskin would get stuck and cause me pain, funny how i never remember that pain though.
I'm what you call a repeat offender. I repeat, I will offend again! |
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kathryn
~ Selkie Bride ~
Belgium
15320 Posts |
Posted - 02/24/2005 : 19:13:35
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Oh, the old "my knob was too large" problem. Right, shiner, right!
KOK, I have some serious issues with your mom. I am just sitting
here shaking my head, man.
I still believe in the excellent joy of the Catholics |
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BLT
> Teenager of the Year <
South Sandwich Islands
4204 Posts |
Posted - 02/24/2005 : 20:01:29
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Speaking of parasites...anyone ever have chiggers?
I got them during a week in rural Missouri. Definitely one of the itchiest experiences of my life. Fortunately they stayed below my knees.
http://ohioline.osu.edu/hyg-fact/2000/2100.html |
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Surfer Rosa
> Teenager of the Year <
4209 Posts |
Posted - 02/24/2005 : 23:57:31
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One the guys I work with has just been diagnosed with chiggers - itchy as hell feet.
Another way I've seen used to get rid of parasitic worms (can't remember which kind, but picked up in Zimbabwe) was to cover the area with vaseline, suffocating the worm - the worm would then crawl out of your skin (can't remember if you had to cut a hole for this) and you just sit and wait for this lovely moment to happen.
I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.
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whoreatthedoor
> Teenager of the Year <
Spain
2873 Posts |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 00:24:40
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I made it, KOK. Sorry.
I even don't know why you didn't post this picture.
The violet, the lily and the pink but those I refused all three |
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shineoftheever
> Teenager of the Year <
Canada
4307 Posts |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 00:46:08
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quote:
Originally posted by kathryn
Oh, the old "my knob was too large" problem. Right, shiner, right!
ok, ok, my foreskinhole was too small. 
I'm what you call a repeat offender. I repeat, I will offend again! |
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vilainde
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Niue
7443 Posts |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 01:12:28
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Why would circumcision be outlawed in Europe? Excision is illegal but not circumcision.
Denis
"I believe in your perfect face..." |
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kathryn
~ Selkie Bride ~
Belgium
15320 Posts |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 04:16:00
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Is that Spudboy in that photo, Whore?
I still believe in the excellent joy of the Catholics |
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whoreatthedoor
> Teenager of the Year <
Spain
2873 Posts |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 04:27:55
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I don't know. I haven't met him.
The violet, the lily and the pink but those I refused all three |
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astrology
= Cult of Ray =
Saint Lucia
252 Posts |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 05:04:01
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umm how lucky of picking exotic larvae..
i started having some hemorroid problems til a girlfriend i had sodomized me with two ice cubes (quite sharpened...) not only solved it, but also experienced how it feels to be an inuit gay...and provision..
I'm a pistolero, i'm not shakin in my boots
I'm the ruler of this moon, if u move I shoots
the bad thing about talkin to inanimate things starts when they start complainin bout it |
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Topic |
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Embarrassing medical conditions
