| Author |
 Topic  |
|
|
Cheeseman1000
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Iceland
8201 Posts |
|
|
GypsyDeath
Zapped Profile
3575 Posts |
 Posted - 10/06/2004 : 06:57:10
|
Haha, thats so cool! where on earth did you find it? HAve yu read all the stuff on it yet? theres hundreds. Was just reading this about computer protection, which amused me a great deal;
INTERNET SECURITY AND SAFETY TIP #1: Many dangerous viruses and worms use security flaws in the Microsoft Windows operating system to spread. Inspect your operating system at the end of each day for worms and viruses, periodically tapping on the monitor and listening for a wet, hollow sound. If your computer starts acting strange or you see any foreign residue on the bottom of your registry, call a trained Internet technician to come by and exorcise your computer or, if none are available, spray the inside of your computer with a garden hose until it smells like it's fixed. Don't worry about water hurting the CPU or anything; I saw a movie where some guy was swimming in a pool and a large piece of electrical equipment fell in it and he died, so that means computers like water.
INTERNET SECURITY AND SAFETY TIP #2: Another potential open door for viruses is email. Only open email if it's from a person you know and the title of the message is "NOT A VIRUS!!! REALLY!!! I SWEAR IT!!!" If you accidentally open email from an unfamiliar source, back away from your computer and begin shrieking like Donald Sutherland at the end of "Invasion of the Body Snatchers." Wait in your closet with the lights off until trained Internet technicians arrive at your house and disinfect your computer with a mixture of baking soda and Miracle Gro.
INTERNET SECURITY AND SAFETY TIP #3: Viruses often find it difficult to spread when your desktop is cluttered up with thousands of icons and programs running in the system tray. All these programs are distracting and confusing, prohibiting them from spreading as efficiently. Try to fill your desktop with links to every single exe file on your computer, then organize them into the shape of a really long maze with the starting point being "My Computer" and the end being the recycling bin. The viruses will come out of your computer, travel through the maze of program icons, and fall into the trash! As noted computer expert Kevin "pdf Dawg" Mitnik once said, "it's so easy to use, no wonder it's number one!"
God forbid I exude confidence and enjoy sex |
 |
|
|
PsychicTwin
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1772 Posts |
Posted - 10/06/2004 : 08:03:29
|
| TIP #3 is fuckin' hilarious! |
|
|
|
Cheeseman1000
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Iceland
8201 Posts |
Posted - 10/06/2004 : 08:16:54
|
"You ever seen a man say goodbye to a shoe?"
"Yes, once..." |
|
|
|
Malax
* Dog in the Sand *
United Kingdom
1340 Posts |
Posted - 10/06/2004 : 17:24:44
|
"As for tracks 2-9, I was unable to listen to them as I was so blown away by Radiohead's sheer power that I beat my CD player into pieces with a rake so it would never be defiled by another, inferior compact disc. I shall review the rest of the album once my dad flies back from the Hamptons and buys me a new SUV to play it in."
Ha
I like pitchfork and anyone who enjoys maddox's website generally has something against somethingawful, to be fair it aint all that funny.
I May've Joined The Cult Of Frank If I Knew What The Balls Was Going On.
*Adapted By Carolynanna* |
|
|
|
Chris Knight
= Cult of Ray =
USA
899 Posts |
Posted - 10/06/2004 : 20:46:51
|
| I figured this thread would be about Suicide Girls. |
|
|
|
mattb
= Cult of Ray =
Canada
474 Posts |
Posted - 10/06/2004 : 20:56:52
|
quote:
Originally posted by Chris Knight
I figured this thread would be about Suicide Girls.
Fuck, those suicide girl ads on their site are getting really annoying. I keep having to explain why I'm looking at "porn" everytime I'm on pitchfork and someone walks into my office.
-----------------------
http://www.broszkowski.com |
|
|
|
Monsieur
* Dog in the Sand *
France
1688 Posts |
Posted - 10/07/2004 : 06:31:10
|
I spotted these Radiohead lyrics:
Ale A Gator, the world is your at your feet
With a gaping mouth and jagged teeth
Your eyes remind me of capitalism (the telephone is ringing)
And your love is love like loving eyes, I will be there for you
Ale A Gator
Ale A Gator
Dragging through your personal hell
Ale A Gator
Ale A Gator
Encrusted jewels and a kissing kill across your gentle forehead
Time for sleep
Time for sleep
Time for sleep
Time for sleep
Gentle Ale A Gator
This is very very very stupid and I think that it deserves to be on a record just as much as the recording of the noise when I flush the toilet.
I will show you fear in a handful of dust |
|
|
|
apl4eris
~ Abstract Brain ~
USA
4800 Posts |
Posted - 10/07/2004 : 08:20:54
|
| Monsieur, those are joke lyrics. But you knew that right? ;) |
|
|
|
vilainde
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Niue
7443 Posts |
Posted - 10/07/2004 : 08:23:56
|
What do you expect from a man who works 106 hours a week?
Denis
"I do feel sorry for people who don't collect records and obsess about music. Why? Because collecting, consuming and obsessing over music and records is very interesting. That's why." - Johan Kugelberg
|
|
|
|
apl4eris
~ Abstract Brain ~
USA
4800 Posts |
Posted - 10/07/2004 : 08:30:33
|
You're right, Denis. The poor man's losing his bearings. Monsieur, Dr. Happiness called and said you need a holiday, or you might crack and be back working the streets in a miniskirt and orange jacket.
Oh well, it'd be making a step up from the world's second-oldest profession to the world's first. Not bad at all, really. ;) |
|
|
|
VoVat
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
USA
9168 Posts |
Posted - 10/07/2004 : 18:07:43
|
What IS Suicide Girls, anyway?
"Signature quotes are so lame." --Nathan |
|
|
|
mattb
= Cult of Ray =
Canada
474 Posts |
Posted - 10/07/2004 : 19:04:47
|
quote:
Originally posted by VoVat
What IS Suicide Girls, anyway?
"Signature quotes are so lame." --Nathan
Like you don't know 
-----------------------
http://www.broszkowski.com |
|
|
|
Monsieur
* Dog in the Sand *
France
1688 Posts |
Posted - 10/08/2004 : 00:04:51
|
Yeah, I saw those were joke lyrics while hitting the 'submit reply' button. That shows how crappy Radiohead is - those lyrics seem to be written by them.
PS: All my friends told me that I look fine in a miniskirt. I have beautiful legs.
I will show you fear in a handful of dust |
|
|
|
Brackish Heart
- FB Fan -
Australia
176 Posts |
Posted - 10/08/2004 : 04:15:38
|
| I love Radiohead and i love Pitchfork this joke site is pure gold provided you have a sense of humour. |
Edited by - Brackish Heart on 10/08/2004 04:16:54 |
|
|
|
vilainde
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Niue
7443 Posts |
Posted - 10/08/2004 : 04:33:28
|
quote:
Originally posted by Brackish Heart
I love Radiohead and i love Pitchfork
Ah... So I guess you haven't read their review of Show Me Your Tears then. It's insulting.
Denis
"I do feel sorry for people who don't collect records and obsess about music. Why? Because collecting, consuming and obsessing over music and records is very interesting. That's why." - Johan Kugelberg
|
|
|
|
VoVat
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
USA
9168 Posts |
Posted - 10/08/2004 : 10:26:18
|
Are any Pitchfork reviews NOT insulting? Even when they LIKE the album they're reviewing, they're generally pretty snide about it.
"Signature quotes are so lame." --Nathan |
|
|
| |
Topic |
|
Pitchfork Gets Good
