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J Mascis
- FB Fan -
USA
205 Posts |
 Posted - 12/14/2002 : 12:56:29
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What about a season pass to every public pool in the country. That way, he won't have to sneak into the Holiday Inn. He will now be able to fuel his obsession for swimming with dignity. He can walk through the door with pride and flash his pass instead of greasing himself up and squirming through the vents. I think he does this all over the country. One day, when I was at a Ramada with the Fog, I was hanging out poolside, minding my own Jazzmasterness, when some greasy, pale, skinny, fuckhead, wearing a rubber cap, speedos and goggles, fell though the ceiling and into the shallow end. To my amazement, instead of calling for help, he popped his collar bone back into place and began doing laps around the pool. And shit, was he ever fast. So fast, in fact, that there were seagulls riding his wind like they do a big ship. Anyway, security caught on, ran to the pool and began hollering at him to get out. There was no way that was gonna happen, the swimmer was focused and he meant business -- swimming. He was like a torpedo, security had no chance, going into the water would be deadly. They had to gaff him. And gaff him they did, right through the melon. The doctor says they injured the part of his brain that controlled humor and bowel movements. Shit, I just realised that getting him that pass may not be a good idea due to the bowel movement thing. Unless of course, they're trying to clear out a pool at closing time. "Mom, mom! That tanker is leaking crude!"
[EDIT: Moved - Dave Noisy] |
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MIRV
- FB Fan -
178 Posts |
Posted - 12/15/2002 : 15:51:03
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| why would he need a present when he gets everything he wants in park washrooms at 3 am for free? |
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Malax
* Dog in the Sand *
United Kingdom
1340 Posts |
Posted - 12/15/2002 : 17:01:49
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| I fail to believe that all a man could want in life is anal sex but hey whatever floats your boat. |
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MIRV
- FB Fan -
178 Posts |
Posted - 12/15/2002 : 17:41:33
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| apparently it does float his boat. |
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floop
= Wannabe Volunteer =
Mexico
15297 Posts |
Posted - 12/15/2002 : 20:26:10
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you must admit MIRV, you seem to know an awful lot of specific details about where and when to receive said anal sex.
palabra a tu madre. |
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Thomas
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1615 Posts |
Posted - 12/16/2002 : 00:30:18
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word to your mother
Thomas
"It's the Nexus of the Crisis"
BÖCswu |
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El Barto
= Song DB Master =
USA
4020 Posts |
Posted - 12/16/2002 : 16:31:13
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well said, floop.
www.thebennies.com |
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MIRV
- FB Fan -
178 Posts |
Posted - 12/16/2002 : 18:26:06
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yeah, it's a big secret about public washrooms being used by faggots for some romping fudgepacking.
such a secret that it's appeared in several hollywood movies (ie - something about mary), as well as appeared in the media courtesy of our favourite homosexual george michael.
i suggest you come up with better material, or otherwise put a slug in your brain. |
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ProverbialCereal
- FB TabMaster -
USA
2953 Posts |
Posted - 12/16/2002 : 19:02:22
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I think floop's material is actually pretty funny, MIRV.
Perhaps you should settle for the fact that your internet-ego is too big and there are people who actually can out-humour you on this forum. You seem to take it rough when someone disses you, man. I'd hate for you to call me like a "butt crumb" or something for posting this.
Derek |
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MIRV
- FB Fan -
178 Posts |
Posted - 12/16/2002 : 19:12:34
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the people in this forum are about as funny as a funeral on christmas.
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St. Francis
= Cult of Ray =
Canada
548 Posts |
Posted - 12/17/2002 : 16:32:30
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Out of curiousity Mirv...do you use public washrooms anymore? You know because of the inevitable ass reamings which come with urination? I'm curious I want to be safe in the future...
Out on the Eisenhower, well, I lost my speed just a little bit south of a town called weed... |
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J Mascis
- FB Fan -
USA
205 Posts |
Posted - 12/19/2002 : 03:09:29
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| Wow, 171 page views and yet, no one wants to get the swimmer a present. My heart goes out to him and I can't help but wonder what he wants for Christmas; so that I can get it for him myself. |
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