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Little Black Francis
> Teenager of the Year <
3648 Posts |
 Posted - 02/03/2004 : 02:15:28
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Seriously, what would you do? |
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interloper
= Cult of Ray =
440 Posts |
Posted - 02/03/2004 : 04:44:37
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Id have an American Idol show but it would be for guitar players.
Hand held shower nozzles are the demon enemy of the patriarch and should be destroyed. |
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TarTar
* Dog in the Sand *
1968 Posts |
Posted - 02/03/2004 : 05:06:17
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I would have an anti-reality TV show. Everything would be so obviously scripted and acted and filmed that it would be painful. Here's a sampling.
Lewis and Stephanie sit in Lewis' bedroom, which is basically a shrine of pottery. Stephanie is examining one of the pots.
Stephanie: (robotically) My... my. This certainly is a nice piece here. Where and how did you procure this?
Lewis: (exaggeratively perky) Oh, well, that right there was hand-crafted by a Polish ninja circa 1766 in Switzerland. I was able to get my little paws on this when I was on sebatacle from my interesting life as anthropologist and hairstylist. I was passing through Novascotia and walked into a antique store and wallah!, there was that ringading dingy that you hold in your hand. Got it outta there for a mere 800 smackeroos!
Stephanie: (even more mechanical than before) Neat-o. How cool.
Lewis: Don't you have some holiday tips for us regarding dealing with customers if you're working in retail, Stephanie.
Stephanie: (lifelessly) Why, yes, Lewis. I do. Working retail can be a drag, especially during the hussle 'n' bussle of the holiday season. Customers are like a closed down hospital: they have no patience.
Lewis: (giddy laugh) Oh, good one. Sharp. Sharp as a cat's claw. (raises his hand, makes clawing motion, and meows)
Stephanie: That is why I have compiled a list of things to do when that grinch comes to steal Christmas. Number 1. Take no prisoners, take no shit. (Suddenly, Stephanie produces an AK-47 from thin air and she pumps Lewis full of lead without the bat of an eyelash)
Lewis: (as he flies back and smashes into a shelf of pottery) Oh my, that tickles!
Stephanie: (still lacking pizazz) Take 'em out. Blast their asses. Pesky fuckers deserve nothing but the best gun to help them buy the farm.
Yeah, my network would feature inane crap like this all the time.
How the fuck is pizzaz spelled? Eh, not worth my time.
"You're muckin' with a G here!" |
Edited by - TarTar on 02/03/2004 05:21:34 |
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El Barto
= Song DB Master =
USA
4020 Posts |
Posted - 02/03/2004 : 14:12:00
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I had an idea for a TV network...it would be like, Flashback Network or something. Each month is based on one year in TV history, taking the best shows of that year and playing them throughout the month every day at the same time. You figure there's generally about 22 episodes per season, that's 30 days in a month...one episode per day will fill up almost an entire month. This will allow people to relive classics almost like they used to, where in the past it would be one episode per week, now it's one episode per day. This would be based mostly on old 80s classics. There would be 80s cartoons throughout the day and shit. This would be the best network EVER.
 "Join the Cult of Brit / And let your oral hygiene go out the window." |
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apl4eris
~ Abstract Brain ~
USA
4800 Posts |
Posted - 02/03/2004 : 15:26:28
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For half of the programming, I would carry shows like "Rough Science", Connections", "Nova", "Nature", the original "Junkyard Wars" (not the new Americanized crap - same with the "Robot Wars" shit - wtf), and the types of historical and current events reporting and documentaries that the "Discovery Science" channel, "The History Channel", and PBS carry.
I'd devote the other half of the programming to Independent films and documentaries, with an hour show detailing how viewers can organize grass-roots interest groups online and locally - segments on underground music, art, politics, access to non-mainstream media -hell, I might have DIY festivals once a month - devoting whole blocks of days to the topic, and viewer email and call-in. Man, Ive never thought about this before, but that would really rock. And speaking of rock - like TRIO does, but better - indie short films and videos (new and old) interspersed throughout the day, based on a mix of viewer requests and other selections.
C'mon lottery! Mama needs her own tv network!!!
"Wir müssen wissen. Wir werden wissen."/"Our house has seven doors, all are green...except one, which is yellow." |
Edited by - apl4eris on 02/03/2004 15:27:48 |
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IceCream
= Quote Accumulator =
USA
1850 Posts |
Posted - 02/06/2004 : 17:22:22
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i'd have the u-log, in case someone missed it on Christmas. Or if someone's really bored.
Tim, the only one who laughs |
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