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TarTar
* Dog in the Sand *
1968 Posts |
 Posted - 02/02/2004 : 17:43:24
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Justin, Vinny, and Hans sit in a living room. As we join them, they have just finished smoking a bowl of weed, and are wrapped up in a rather intense discussion about vegetarianism. By their clothing and general demeanor, it is obvious that Justin is of the hippy persuasion, Hans likes his metal heavy and his Marlboros light, and that Vinny is a nerd.
Justin: And eventually, I think animals will begin to go the same direction.
Hans: Become vegetarian?
Justin: Yeah, man. They’ll--
Vinny: Animals that are carnivorous by nature?
Justin: Yeah, man, they’ll evolve.
Hans: Oh, so vegetarianism is an evolution?
Justin: Yeah, there’d be less violence. That’s evolving, man.
Hans: No, I don’t think so.
Justin: How isn’t it?
Hans: That’s just the nature of some animals. I don’t think that them changing what their diet is is evolving. The food chain is part of the natural world that you so want to be a part of. Fuckin’ deal with it.
Justin: Man, that’s such a negative attitude. Why can’t you think more positively?
Hans: Cuz if there’s a positive, there’s gotta be a fuckin’ negative, okay!
Justin: If everyone started thinking positively on a higher level, we could all make a difference. We’re capable of so much more than we realize.
Hans: What is this? You’re tossing fuckin’ cliches at me now. Give me a little credit.
Vinny: See, this is where humans run into a problem with their capacity. They can only comprehend so much, but feel as though they can grasp so much more beyond that because they have a slight inkling of what is possible.
Hans: Yeah, and when they realize they can‘t understand it all or do it all, it fuckin’ frustrates them that they can only go so high.
Justin: There is no limit. The only limit is what we tell ourselves is the limit. Once we get passed that--
Hans: Once we get passed that, I’ll tell you I was wrong. But we haven’t moved on in a long time.
Justin: What about all the technological advancements we’ve made?
Hans: What? The shit you always detest? The shit that you always purportedly pinpoint as being the problem with the world?
Justin: Okay, you’re not understanding me there, either. What I’m saying here is that I think that the mass movement towards being herbivores is a step in the right direction.
Hans: How? How!?!
Justin: Because it’s the right thing to do.
Hans: Who fuckin’ says? I mean, life feeds on life, that just how it goes.
Justin: Yeah, but we don’t have to feed on conscious life like animals.
Hans: Oh, so plants are just worthless, meaningless entities.
Justin: We can’t be perfect. But plants aren’t the same as animals.
Hans: What makes plants acceptable to eat and not animals?
Justin: Because animals are more like us. I can understand them more. They are more similar.
Hans: Oh, so because plants are different, they deserve to die more, just cuz you can’t understand them. That sounds close to racism. “It’s different from me, so it’s not important”.
Vinny: It’s true. It makes sense. Just because plants are tropisms instead of neurons, it makes them quite different, but not necessarily any less important.
Justin: Well, I can’t give plants human qualities, so I can’t understand them.
Hans: Uh, there’s a word for that, it’s anthropomorphizing, you vocabulary lacking cretin.
Justin: Man, your attitude is so negative.
Hans: Eh, I’m fuckin’ done with it. This is bullshit.
Justin: It’s bullshit because you disagree with me?
Hans: Get out of my face with all your fuckin’ preachy shit.
(Hans stands up and walks out of the room and goes into his bedroom, slamming the door behind him)
Justin: What’s his problem?
Vinny: Man, just give it a rest.
Justin: He’s being so closed minded.
Vinny: Your viewpoints are different. Neither one of your opinions is gonna be swayed towards the others opinion. Just let it go. Don’t try to get the last word in.
Justin: But... but I’m not done.
(Justin walks over to Hans’ bedroom door and opens it, and stands in the doorway)
Hans: Fuck off!
Justin: Man, what!?!
Hans: Fuckin’ leave me alone.
Justin: I’m just trying to expand your horizons. Broaden your viewpoint.
Hans: You’re narrowing it more with every word.
Justin: You’re just shunning it because it takes too much work for you. That’s such a lazy way to be. You’re lazy with everything.
Hans: Man, I’m gonna kick your ass.
Justin: Go ahead.
Hans: Yeah, I’m gonna kick your fuckin’ hippy ass.
Justin: Why don’t you?
Hans: Dumbass, why you askin’ why I won’t? Cuz I will, and you know it!
(Hans steps right up in Justin’s face)
Justin: What?
Hans: I’m gonna kick your ass if you don’t get the fuck outta here.
(Vinny has come over by the door and is standing behind Justin)
Vinny: Guys!
Justin: Go ahead. Kick my ass!
Hans: Yeah, I’m gonna punch you right in your face.
(Justin pushes Hans really hard and Hans goes flying back)
Justin: Go right ahead!
Vinny: Okay, okay, stop that shit!
Hans: Hey man!
(Justin walks into the bedroom and goes right up to Hans, who has just caught his balance and making no effort to defend himself. Justin pushes him hard again)
Justin: What? Kick my ass!!!
Hans: Jeez!
(Justin throws his entire arm around the back of Hans’ neck)
Justin: You wanna kick my ass!?!
(Justin takes Hans down to the ground and pins him)
Hans: Jesus Fuckin’ Christ!
(Justin is staring Hans right in the eyes)
Justin: What? What’s the problem? YOU WANTED THIS!!!
Hans: Get off me!
Justin: YOU WANTED THIS!!!!
Hans: (laughs) God, this is dramatic.
Justin: What? What are you fuckin’ laughing at.
Hans: YOU, FUCKO! GET THE FUCK OFF ME!
(At this point, Vinny has entered the bedroom, and is standing right next to where Justin has Hans pinned)
Vinny: Okay, this is enough. Let him up, Justin.
Justin: No, man. I want to know why he reacts so negatively to positive ideas.
Hans: Yeah. Yeah, I react negatively. I’m not the one who fuckin’ attacks his friend and continues to do so even when the friend doesn’t make an effort to fight back.
Justin: You said--
Hans: I mean, fuck!, here you are, tryin' be Captain Peace, trying to support anti-violent ways of life and shit, yet this is how you handle--
Justin: You threatened to kick my ass! And got up in my face!
Hans: That’s a million fuckin’ miles from actually doing it.
Justin: Yeah. Maybe.
(Justin stands up, and Hans gets up, too)
Vinny: (shocked) Whoa. Um. Okay. That was intense.
"You're muckin' with a G here!" |
Edited by - TarTar on 02/02/2004 18:01:30 |
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TheCroutonFuton
- Mr. Setlists -
USA
1728 Posts |
Posted - 02/02/2004 : 17:57:25
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You should use the insult "Fucko!".
 "Join the Cult of Gunn / And Then You'll Be Destined to be a Rock and Roll Star of Epical Proportions!" |
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realmeanmotorscutor
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1764 Posts |
Posted - 02/02/2004 : 17:59:24
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hahaha, hilarious. Bravo.
 "I joined the Cult of Popeye / The CoF required my good eye" |
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TarTar
* Dog in the Sand *
1968 Posts |
Posted - 02/02/2004 : 18:02:26
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Okay, I changed "Fuckhead" to "Fucko". It works!
"You're muckin' with a G here!" |
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TheCroutonFuton
- Mr. Setlists -
USA
1728 Posts |
Posted - 02/02/2004 : 18:07:20
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excellent! heheh!
"Join the Cult of Gunn / And Then You'll Be Destined to be a Rock and Roll Star of Epical Proportions!" |
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mcmikey
= Cult of Ray =
799 Posts |
Posted - 02/03/2004 : 06:22:21
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is there a Tony category for one act play?
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peace, I'm out |
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Crispy Water
= Cult of Ray =
Canada
819 Posts |
Posted - 02/03/2004 : 09:41:21
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I want to be like Hans when I grow up. I'll even make a T-shirt to said effect.
Nothing is ever something. |
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El Barto
= Song DB Master =
USA
4020 Posts |
Posted - 02/03/2004 : 14:04:33
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Good stuff!
 "Join the Cult of Brit / And let your oral hygiene go out the window." |
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The King Of Karaoke
> Teenager of the Year <
USA
3759 Posts |
Posted - 02/03/2004 : 20:00:02
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Muy bueno!
Are these totally fictitious?
If so, extra points.
If not, I want to hang in your circle. You have a cool life.
My short plays are all about some lonely guy talking and laughing to himself in front of a computer. |
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The King Of Karaoke
> Teenager of the Year <
USA
3759 Posts |
Posted - 02/03/2004 : 20:00:48
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Bravo!
Are these totally fictitious?
If so, extra points.
If not, I want to hang in your circle. You have a cool life.
My short plays are all about some lonely guy talking and laughing to himself in front of a computer. |
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TarTar
* Dog in the Sand *
1968 Posts |
Posted - 02/06/2004 : 17:06:33
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These aren't entirely ficticious. They are based on real conversations and events. I have spiced up the conversations a bit, though. Much of what is said was never said, but the general idea of the real events is there.
"You're muckin' with a G here!" |
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Topic Locked
