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floop
= Wannabe Volunteer =
Mexico
15297 Posts |
 Posted - 01/28/2004 : 10:13:37
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which is worse?
A. not calling.
B. calling to say "we should go out again sometime, but i'm going to be really busy for a while".. or whatever bullshit excuse you can think of.
C. calling with blunt honesty and saying "the sound of your voice annoys me" or "i don't like your attitude" or "i'm actually not attracted to you, at all" etc..
i'd like to hear from the ladies on this.. |
Edited by - floop on 01/28/2004 10:18:19 |
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Carolynanna
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Canada
6556 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2004 : 10:15:41
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none of the above. ;)
how bout sugarcoated honesty. |
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GoddessTheory
= Cult of Ray =
USA
675 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2004 : 10:18:35
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I would rather not recieve a call at all. Then if that person persisted to call, then you should just tell the person, I am not interested in having a relationship and let them get on with it.
What's the exact situation? Did you go out with somebody once and then decide you weren't interested? How did you end up in this situation right now? |
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apl4eris
~ Abstract Brain ~
USA
4800 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2004 : 10:18:35
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I second that emotion (edit - re: Carolynanna's response). She's gonna hear something in your voice anyway, but honesty with some tact is always the best policy. I'd suggest that you break it to her gently. No reason to be unkind just because you are incompatible.
"Wir müssen wissen. Wir werden wissen." |
Edited by - apl4eris on 01/28/2004 10:20:51 |
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Carolynanna
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Canada
6556 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2004 : 10:21:03
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or maybe, floop, just tell them in the first place that
you're trying to master the art of sex on the first date
with no intention of ever calling again...;) |
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mcmikey
= Cult of Ray =
799 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2004 : 10:27:29
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quote:
Originally posted by Carolynanna
or maybe, floop, just tell them in the first place that
you're trying to master the art of sex on the first date
with no intention of ever calling again...;)
this is good advice. For example, when I'm at the bar, I wear a sign that says that exact thing. It prevents misunderstandings later
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peace, I'm out |
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floop
= Wannabe Volunteer =
Mexico
15297 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2004 : 11:43:54
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quote:
Originally posted by GoddessTheory
I would rather not recieve a call at all. Then if that person persisted to call, then you should just tell the person, I am not interested in having a relationship and let them get on with it.
What's the exact situation? Did you go out with somebody once and then decide you weren't interested? How did you end up in this situation right now?
i'm not really referring to a specific situation (more a series of situations)..
but i was talking about this with someone the other day and they said they'd rather have someone call them and let them down, face to face (on the phone, whatever), instead of just blowing them off and not calling..
i'd rather not be a "didn't call" kind of guy, but then, i think it's almost more lame to call someone basically just to say you're not interested. which is implicit in a no call situation.
i don't understand why girls get so bent out of shape when you have sex on the first date and then don't call..
just kidding.
but yeah, i do think it's a debatable idea. |
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mcmikey
= Cult of Ray =
799 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2004 : 11:45:32
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I think if possible you should try to get sex without having to take them on the date. It's more economically feasible
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peace, I'm out |
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GoddessTheory
= Cult of Ray =
USA
675 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2004 : 11:50:06
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quote:
Originally posted by floop
quote:
Originally posted by GoddessTheory
I would rather not recieve a call at all. Then if that person persisted to call, then you should just tell the person, I am not interested in having a relationship and let them get on with it.
What's the exact situation? Did you go out with somebody once and then decide you weren't interested? How did you end up in this situation right now?
i don't understand why girls get so bent out of shape when you have sex on the first date and then don't call..
just kidding.
but yeah, i do think it's a debatable idea.
Some don't. Depends on how good it was. 
They may be in it for the same reason you are. |
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ramona
"FB Quote Mistress"
USA
3988 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2004 : 11:54:10
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Not calling at all fucking sucks. I would prefer to hear the truth - and if you are not interested and/or there was no sparkage then the gal probably did not feel a "connection" (ooo, how reality dating show of me!) either.
I do agree that calling just to say you aren't interested is kind of bunk - I guess it depends on how you end the date. If you say "goodnight, nice to meet you" that sort of screams UNINTERESTED but if you say "I'll call you" then that implies you WILL actually call.
I also love email for this reason - it is a little easier to diplomatically say you aren't interested and you don't have to deal with the awkwardness of talking to the person. Classy! 
**************************************************
"Music does not drag me down. Music lifts me up." - Frank Black |
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floop
= Wannabe Volunteer =
Mexico
15297 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2004 : 12:28:56
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quote:
Originally posted by ramona
I guess it depends on how you end the date. If you say "goodnight, nice to meet you" that sort of screams UNINTERESTED but if you say "I'll call you" then that implies you WILL actually call.
in this town though, "i'll call you" actually means "i won't call you." though it can sometimes be taken in the literal "i will call you" as well.
so that complicates things. |
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mcmikey
= Cult of Ray =
799 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2004 : 12:40:12
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and sometimes "I'll call you" = "I"m getting a restraining order, you psycho hosebeast"
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peace, I'm out |
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Cult_Of_Frank
= Black Noise Maker =
Canada
11687 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2004 : 12:43:16
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I think in the first couple dates (i.e. the 'seeing' phase) it's acceptable to just not call, even if there's sex involved because whatever the other party might tell themselves, there's no way there's any real connection there so soon (presuming you're not dating a friend or prior acquaintance).
After that, the dating phase, a phone 'not interested' is OK and a no-call is not. There's no need to be blunt or even justify why you're not interested, just that it's not working or going to work. Though from the other side it's sort of nice to know.
Then you move into the final phase once of boy/girl friend, where breakups must be done in person.
Email is a new development in the dating scene, and I wouldn't break up via email or instant messenger in lieu of the phone UNLESS your relationship as already been using email consistently instead of the phone.
This is Dr. Dean Heartman, thanks for tuning in. Join us next week when we look at pre-date protocol and the dos and don't do's of purusing that first date.
 "Join the Cult of Frank / And you'll be enlightened" |
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GoddessTheory
= Cult of Ray =
USA
675 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2004 : 12:46:06
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quote:
Originally posted by Cult_Of_Frank
Email is a new development in the dating scene, and I wouldn't break up via email or instant messenger in lieu of the phone UNLESS your relationship as already been using email consistently instead of the phone.
"You Got Dumped" |
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mcmikey
= Cult of Ray =
799 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2004 : 12:47:09
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Dear Dr. Dean,
I'm a long time reader of your column, but this is the first time I've written. I've got these wicked sores on my testicles, and it hurts when I urinate. I have two questions: 1) is this some sort of STD, and 2) if so, is it wrong for me to seduce my exgirlfriend who cheated on me then dumped me 3 years ago just to give it to her?
Chancres in Chicago
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peace, I'm out |
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Cult_Of_Frank
= Black Noise Maker =
Canada
11687 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2004 : 12:59:44
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Dear Chancres in Chicago,
First of all, let me assure you that those sores will grow and eventually burst, heal, and remain visible only as horribly disfigured scars. The pain in urination is normal and I would advise you to avoid doctors, blood tests, and use of the letter 't' presuming that everything is normal.
The sores in question are a rare form of syphlischancresisisosis, which is indeed an STD usually contracted by sex with elephants, giraffes, and emus. If your exgirlfriend cheated on you and you have not had any encounters with any of these animals (even a little bit of felatio is enough to spread the disease), then she probably is the cause of your disease and seduction would only lead to more sores.
Vomiting profusely,
Dr. Dean
"Join the Cult of Frank / And you'll be enlightened" |
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mcmikey
= Cult of Ray =
799 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2004 : 13:09:14
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Dear Dr. Dean,
as my nasty and currently oozing sores only developed a few months ago after a drunken encounter with a girl who might very well have been part emu but worked her tongue more like an anteater, I am inclined to seriously doubt it was a product of my whoring bitch of an exgirlfriend. With this new information, do you think I should nail her or not? and if so, would you recommend any certain positions or deviant sexual practices (such as watersports or the Cleveland steamer) in order to increase the chances of infecting her?
Still Chancres
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peace, I'm out |
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Carolynanna
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Canada
6556 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2004 : 13:10:40
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| and enter the sneaky butcher ;) |
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mcmikey
= Cult of Ray =
799 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2004 : 13:13:46
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sneaky butcher?
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peace, I'm out |
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apl4eris
~ Abstract Brain ~
USA
4800 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2004 : 13:19:43
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See - you didn't even notice him, mikey!
"Wir müssen wissen. Wir werden wissen." |
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mcmikey
= Cult of Ray =
799 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2004 : 13:21:05
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now I'm just confused
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peace, I'm out |
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Carolynanna
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Canada
6556 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2004 : 13:27:52
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quote:
Originally posted by apl4eris
See - you didn't even notice him, mikey!
"Wir müssen wissen. Wir werden wissen."
lol, you slay me apl. |
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apl4eris
~ Abstract Brain ~
USA
4800 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2004 : 13:38:45
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Much obliged. ;) There oughta be a Public Service Announcement - this guy is sly. Look at those beady eyes! That haphazard cutlery technique - the total lack of hygiene when he handles his meat!
"Wir müssen wissen. Wir werden wissen." |
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mcmikey
= Cult of Ray =
799 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2004 : 13:46:56
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is that Chef Boyardee's younger brother
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peace, I'm out |
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Cult_Of_Frank
= Black Noise Maker =
Canada
11687 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2004 : 13:51:33
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Dear Crotchsores,
As several of my collegues have suggested, you'll definitely want to use the sneaky butcher on her if you're hoping to get the desired results as well as inflict pain.
It sounds like you're still harbouring some resentment issues as well. While you could spend years in therapy for this, my advice is simply to laugh thusly when performing the sneaky butcher: "Buahahahahaaaaa! The sneaky butcher strikes again."
"Join the Cult of Frank / And you'll be enlightened" |
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mcmikey
= Cult of Ray =
799 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2004 : 13:57:53
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GODDAMMIT! would someone tell me what the hell the sneaky butcher is!?!?! it must be some Canadian thing!!!
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peace, I'm out |
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mcmikey
= Cult of Ray =
799 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2004 : 14:13:28
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go play with your dolls, cindy lou. I"m talking to CoF
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peace, I'm out |
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Crispy Water
= Cult of Ray =
Canada
819 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2004 : 14:20:52
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Hey, it's not Canadian. We have sneaky butchers here in Panama too!
Besides, if you didn't notice him that's your problem.
Nothing is ever something. |
Edited by - Crispy Water on 01/28/2004 14:21:49 |
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Cult_Of_Frank
= Black Noise Maker =
Canada
11687 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2004 : 14:32:20
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BTW, Apl, that little guy looks exactly like he'd never even consider giving someone the ol' SB, which is exactly why he makes the ideal SB. Plus he's just a funny/cute little butcher.
"Join the Cult of Frank / And you'll be enlightened" |
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interloper
= Cult of Ray =
440 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2004 : 15:33:28
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I tend to prefer the completely honest route, but the last time I said "We're just having sex, I don't actually like you, so I think we should stop", she wound up hating me. Go figure.
Hand held shower nozzles are the demon enemy of the patriarch and should be destroyed. |
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Adnan_le_Terrible
* Dog in the Sand *
France
1973 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2004 : 16:19:01
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I think that not calling at all is the best solution.
If after a week or two, you suffer from a serious lack of sex, you can always pretend you didn't break up...you say you have been experiencing problems with your telephone or something...
Otherwise (now I'm serious) what would you girls think if a guy sends you a letter (a very nice one) saying that he thinks your relationship has to end?
I joined the three kitties club / And now I can participate to a secret forum with Charles. |
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Little Black Francis
> Teenager of the Year <
3648 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2004 : 17:17:04
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I'm actually in the "no call" situation right now. We dated for a couple of months and spent everyday together just about, which makes it worse. I can't call her because I have nothing to say because I don't know what to say, and I don't know how I feel. It is difficult because I know I am appearing to be an asshole and avoiding her, but I'm not trying to be that way, I just can't talk to her.
Anyway, that's my input |
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El Barto
= Song DB Master =
USA
4020 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2004 : 17:19:38
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I think the best way to make it clear that you're not interested is by calling while having sex with her best friend. I don't think there'd be any questions or misunderstandings after that.
 "Join the Cult of Brit / And let your oral hygiene go out the window." |
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GypsyDeath
Zapped Profile
3575 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2004 : 17:33:21
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Hmm, Im not sure what I prefer...
To be honest, I dont think ive had the 'no call ' thing happen to me...ive not called them. ..hmmm..
However, I recently got dumped by my ex via phone. A week before xmas. which was nice. But we were long distance,so i can kind of forgive him. I didnt let him get off that easy though. i went up there and made him tell me to my face (looking particularly amazing, just to wind him up, hahah). And he cried when he did. Wanker.
Anyway, My suggestion is never call any thing a 'date' and there fore you have no obligations...
But I think i would prefer to be called to say 'I dont like you, you pig' or something.
dating sucks.
Boys go to Jupiter,Become more stupider,
Girls go to Mars, Become rock stars |
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GoddessTheory
= Cult of Ray =
USA
675 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2004 : 17:35:11
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| Hi Gypsy and Jim...just popping in to say hi! |
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GypsyDeath
Zapped Profile
3575 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2004 : 17:36:22
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quote:
Originally posted by El Barto
I think the best way to make it clear that you're not interested is by calling while having sex with her best friend. I don't think there'd be any questions or misunderstandings after that.
"Join the Cult of Brit / And let your oral hygiene go out the window."
hahaha! Yeah, rom my experience, when you sleep with best friends that usually puts across exactly how you feel about them. I think guys get more uptight about it than girls tho. coz girls will just go " oh youre my best friend, I love you, we shouldnt let a guy come between us"
Where as guys will just plain not talk to eachother. wankers.
Boys go to Jupiter,Become more stupider,
Girls go to Mars, Become rock stars |
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