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bedrock_barney
= Cult of Ray =

United Kingdom
871 Posts |
Posted - 01/26/2004 : 13:43:53
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In celebration of the double BAFTA/Golden Globe winner Ricky Gervais I pass on his wise words to help you all in your day to day working lives:
WORK ETHICS

1. Never walk without a document in your hands
People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they're heading for the canteen. People with a newspaper in their hands look like they are heading for the toilet. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do.
2. Use computers to look busy
Any time you use a computer, it looks like "work" to the casual observer. You can send and receive personal email, chat and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work. These aren't exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would like you to talk about but they're not bad either. When you get caught by your boss - and you *will* get caught - your best defence is to claim you're teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable training expenses.
3. Messy desk
Top management can get away with a clean desk. For the rest of us, it looks like we're not working hard enough. Build huge piles of documents around your workspace. To the observer, last year's work looks the same as today's work; it's volume that counts. Pile them high and wide. If you know somebody is coming to your desk, bury the document you'll need halfway down in an existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives.
4. Voice mail
Never answer your phone if you have voice mail facilities. People don't call you just because they want to give you something for nothing - they call because they want YOU to do work for THEM. That's no way to live. Screen your calls through voice mail. If somebody leaves a voice mail message for you and it sounds like impending work, respond during lunch hour when you know they're not there - it looks like you're hardworking and conscientious even though you're being a devious git.
5. Looking impatient and annoyed
Always try to look inpatient and annoyed to give your bosses the impression that you are always busy.
6. Leave the office late
Always leave the office late, especially when the boss is still around. You could read magazines and storybooks that you have always wanted to read but have no time. Make sure you walk past the boss's room on the way out. Send important emails at unearthly hours (e.g. 9.35pm, 6.55am etc) and during public holidays.
7. Creative sighing for effect
Sigh loudly when there are many people around giving the impression that you are under extreme pressure.
8. Stacking strategy
It is not good enough to pile lots of documents on the table/desk. Put lots of books on the floor etc. (thick computer manuals are the best).
9. Have 2 jackets
If you work in a big open plan office, always have a spare jacket draped over the back of your seat. This gives the impression that you are still on the premises. The second jacket should be worn while swanning about elsewhere.
10. MOST IMPORTANT
Do not forward this to your boss by mistake!
[I recently received this by email whilst at work - to be implemented shortly!]
"Join the Cult of the Theremin / It's Velouriatastic!!" |
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GoddessTheory
= Cult of Ray =

USA
675 Posts |
Posted - 01/26/2004 : 13:48:08
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Sound advice. I have yet to see the show but it's on the list now. |
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BLT
> Teenager of the Year <
  
South Sandwich Islands
4204 Posts |
Posted - 01/26/2004 : 13:55:04
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Here's to the greatest character on TV:
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Dave Noisy
Minister of Chaos
  
Canada
4496 Posts |
Posted - 01/26/2004 : 14:20:38
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Definately rent the first series...great Britcom, i love it.
Anyone seen the xmas special?? Surprise ending!! =)
The DB video was HILARIOUS too. |
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PixieSteve
> Teenager of the Year <
  
Poland
4698 Posts |
Posted - 01/26/2004 : 14:46:09
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woah, i didn't think americans/canadians would like it :)
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BLT
> Teenager of the Year <
  
South Sandwich Islands
4204 Posts |
Posted - 01/26/2004 : 16:00:22
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Dave, I saw the Xmas specials. Downloaded them off usenet and burned them to VCDs the day after they were shown in the UK. Absolutely great!
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BLT
> Teenager of the Year <
  
South Sandwich Islands
4204 Posts |
Posted - 01/26/2004 : 16:02:39
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quote: Originally posted by PixieSteve
woah, i didn't think americans/canadians would like it :)
Human nature is basically the same the world over. We're not as stupid as we seem! |
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GypsyDeath
Zapped Profile
  
3575 Posts |
Posted - 01/26/2004 : 16:28:37
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My god?!!?! Youre not!!!?????
My goodness. Hmm, ill have to review my whole opinions of you yanks. haha
_________________________
Im the only one who laughs |
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El Barto
= Song DB Master =
  
USA
4020 Posts |
Posted - 01/26/2004 : 16:29:08
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Working retail, I've learned it's very imperitive that if you're either actually busy or just want to get something done without distraction, you have to either have a VERY concerned face and a fast pace when walking from point A to point B, stare at the floor, maybe mumble to yourself, or a combination of the above so people don't bother you with their stupid questions.
"Join the Cult of Brit / And let your oral hygiene go out the window." |
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Dave Noisy
Minister of Chaos
  
Canada
4496 Posts |
Posted - 01/26/2004 : 21:05:47
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Hey Brian, that's when i got it. Good 'ol abm. Considering the ending, i'd guess there won't be any more?
I uploaded it to CoF, not realizing he hadn't seen it before. I think he was duly impressed tho. |
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glacial906
* Dog in the Sand *
 
USA
1738 Posts |
Posted - 01/26/2004 : 21:48:52
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I've got a friend who's name is "David Brent Henley."
Take me, break me, tell me a good one and maybe I'll cry
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Cult_Of_Frank
= Black Noise Maker =
    
Canada
11690 Posts |
Posted - 01/26/2004 : 22:32:42
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Yeah, they were awesome even though I'd not seen the actual show at that point. I've since seen the first two episodes of series 1 courtesy of Speedy M, and am now hopelessly addicted. Does anyone have more?! I'll trade bits of string and/or perishable foodstuffs.
Seriously, this is the best new show I've seen since Family Guy came on the air. I want more!
"Join the Cult of Frank / And you'll be enlightened" |
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Dave Noisy
Minister of Chaos
  
Canada
4496 Posts |
Posted - 01/26/2004 : 22:43:21
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What are you talking about, they should be at any decent video store..?
I've got the second series on VCD. |
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BLT
> Teenager of the Year <
  
South Sandwich Islands
4204 Posts |
Posted - 01/26/2004 : 22:45:47
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quote: Originally posted by Dave Noisy
Hey Brian, that's when i got it. Good 'ol abm. Considering the ending, i'd guess there won't be any more?
No, it certainly don't look like there will be a series 3. Probably for the best, but they certainly left us wanting more.
I was dumbfounded by Ricky Gervais' acting in the last episode of series 2, when he swallowed his pride and begged for his job. My wife and I looked at each other with our jaws dropped. Pathos! |
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Cult_Of_Frank
= Black Noise Maker =
    
Canada
11690 Posts |
Posted - 01/27/2004 : 06:22:19
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quote: Originally posted by Dave Noisy
What are you talking about, they should be at any decent video store..?
I've got the second series on VCD.
Nope, can't find them at any of the major video stores... at least, they're not listed on the net as being local.
"Join the Cult of Frank / And you'll be enlightened" |
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andyn
- FB Fan -
United Kingdom
169 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2004 : 02:41:22
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Is this stuff really from Ricky Gervais? Most of it is in the Dilbert book "The Joy Of Work". |
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bedrock_barney
= Cult of Ray =

United Kingdom
871 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2004 : 03:53:41
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quote: Originally posted by andyn
Is this stuff really from Ricky Gervais? Most of it is in the Dilbert book "The Joy Of Work".
He (Ricky) dictated it to me over a pint of Worthington's one night.
Actually, I have no idea where it originally came from. It arrived via email at work one day last year.
"Join the Cult of the Theremin / It's Velouriatastic!!" |
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Cult_Of_Frank
= Black Noise Maker =
    
Canada
11690 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2004 : 06:56:09
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And the part about sighing loudly/looking impatient and annoyed is straight out of the Kostanza kookbook.
"Join the Cult of Frank / And you'll be enlightened" |
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mereubu
= FB QuizMistress =
  
USA
2677 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2004 : 07:46:36
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Lord, I love The Office. It makes me sooo glad that I no longer work in one. I can't wait for Series 2 to come out on DVD here.
"I joined the Cult of Frank / And all I got was this lousy icon" |
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ramona
"FB Quote Mistress"
  
USA
3988 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2004 : 08:59:29
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#5 was a rule George on Seinfeld used. There was a whole episode where he looked angry and frusterated so his bosses would think he was busy - then they ended up taking him off a major deal or something. Heh.
************************************************** "Music does not drag me down. Music lifts me up." - Frank Black |
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ramona
"FB Quote Mistress"
  
USA
3988 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2004 : 09:00:14
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Oops, Dean, I just saw your post. Drrr.
************************************************** "Music does not drag me down. Music lifts me up." - Frank Black |
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Dave Noisy
Minister of Chaos
  
Canada
4496 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2004 : 11:13:36
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Dean - look in a 'non-major' video store. They tend to have better selection. |
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speedy_m
= Frankofile =
  
Canada
3581 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2004 : 11:19:32
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Thanks a lot Dave, now I'm addicted to "the Office" and can't enough of Ricky Gervais. There is an interview with him over at www.nerve.com. You have to be a premuim subscriber to read it, but it's not worth singing up just for that, the interview is fairly short. |
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Carolynanna
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
   
Canada
6556 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2004 : 11:19:47
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I think you could say #6 for George too, when he left his car at work to make it look like he was always there, or maybe that would be more of a #9... |
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speedy_m
= Frankofile =
  
Canada
3581 Posts |
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Dave Noisy
Minister of Chaos
  
Canada
4496 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2004 : 19:29:23
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hahaha - you really are obsessed! |
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speedy_m
= Frankofile =
  
Canada
3581 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2004 : 20:18:05
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Don't make fun, it's all your fault! |
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PixieSteve
> Teenager of the Year <
  
Poland
4698 Posts |
Posted - 01/29/2004 : 08:37:31
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Ricky Gervais is hilarious. He is on X-Fm in London on Saturdays, 1-3pm. The way he laughs in real life, I don't know if anyone has heard it, but it's insane.
I just remembered this one time he came on and about 15 minutes after his show started he put on Debaser, but got got shouted at by the people above him because the guys before him had played it just half an hour ago! Brilliant. |
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Carl
- A 'Fifth' Catholic -
    
Ireland
11546 Posts |
Posted - 01/29/2004 : 10:49:21
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2 Golden Globes! It's a very funny prog...apparently Brad Pitt is to play Brent in the US version...no, really! |
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PixieSteve
> Teenager of the Year <
  
Poland
4698 Posts |
Posted - 01/29/2004 : 11:34:15
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something ricky gervais said as a joke, no? |
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gracie
= Cult of Ray =

United Kingdom
573 Posts |
Posted - 01/29/2004 : 12:01:27
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When you hear Rickey Gervais speaking as himself, its actually quite weird how much like David Brent he really is. Even down to that giggle and talking about pies and lacing his fingers together. I've often wondered whether he does it on purpose just to freak people out. |
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speedy_m
= Frankofile =
  
Canada
3581 Posts |
Posted - 01/29/2004 : 12:10:03
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The guy who is going to play Brent's role on the American Office is Steven Carrol (I think that's his name). He played the anchor man in the Jim Carey movie "Bruce Almighty" |
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gracie
= Cult of Ray =

United Kingdom
573 Posts |
Posted - 01/29/2004 : 12:20:05
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I can't see the American version being as funny as the original.
I'm actually really surprised that any other country "gets" it as all the characters struck me as being very English. The humour is really subtle and most of the comedy that does well "over the pond" tends to be fairly obvious slaptick humour like Faulty Towers or Monty Python. |
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darwin
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
   
USA
5456 Posts |
Posted - 01/29/2004 : 12:41:31
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It probably won't be as good, but Steve Carrell (or however it is spelled) is absolutely hilarious on the Daily Show. Produce Pete is pure gold. I don't see him playing the same boss as Gervais. He's more of the dofus type. He won't be able to make your skin crawl like Gervais does. |
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Dave Noisy
Minister of Chaos
  
Canada
4496 Posts |
Posted - 01/29/2004 : 14:29:23
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Damn, you're not serious - they're gonna USicize it?? What's the bloody point? Those wankers will do anything for a buck. |
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bedrock_barney
= Cult of Ray =

United Kingdom
871 Posts |
Posted - 01/29/2004 : 14:56:42
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I'll be amazed if the US version actually succeeds (and I mean critically not financially).
Ricky Gervais (+ cowriter) were solely responsible for creating the characters. Gervais acts out the main central character and presumably maintained total control over the execution of each episode. I read somewhere that it was all tightly scripted with no adlibbing. The whole package is relatively unique. How the hell can this be successfully americanised?
The US is responsible for high quality home grown comedy. I just can't see why they need to import concepts from other countries. Anyone know what the driving force is?
"Join the Cult of the Theremin / It's Velouriatastic!!" |
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