| Author |
 Topic  |
|
|
The King Of Karaoke
> Teenager of the Year <
USA
3759 Posts |
 Posted - 01/05/2004 : 01:36:18
|
Hello, fellow Frank Black fanatics. I am new to the forum and have decided to tell you stuff about me you have absolutely no interest in hearing. Lets begin, shall we?
Well, I live in California. In fact, just minutes from the epicenter of our recent 6.5 magnitude earthquake. At the time of the occurrence, I was in the ocean surfing. I was sitting on my surfboard and suddenly I felt a tremendous rumble! I attributed this to the steak ranchero burrito I had eaten the previous night, and kept on surfing. When I got home, my apartment was a complete SHAMBLES!! Which was exactly the way I had left it. Upon entering, the shelves containing my extensive beanie baby collection, collapsed down on top of me! Much to my chagrin, I became trapped by the very things every heterosexual thirty six year old male holds dearest. His beanie babys. After several hours, the intense weight began to cause my slow, untimely death, do to suffocation. My only means of communication with the outside world, and any potential help, was the World Wide Web (Well, I guess I could have yelled over to my next door neighbors, who were approximately fifteen feet away and having a big barbeque, but I didn't want to intrude.) After thirty minutes of surfing internet porn, I attempted to instant message my friend. Unfortunately my friend long ago had stopped paying attention to my instant message lunacy, and was ignoring me. It was then, much to my relief, that I heard a frantic digging. Yes!! It was Hermie, the neighbors dog! Apparently he had caught scent of my pimento loaf sandwhich that I had been eating just as tragedy struck! Even though Hermie is the equivalent of an 112 year old man in dog years, he had me free in minutes (It was forty five minutes, but still less than an hour.)!! What living creature can resist pimento loaf?
Now I have a second chance at life! I have been on death's doorstep and because of that experience I've decided never to waste a single minute of my short time on this precious planet, ever again!! From that horrible day on, I've been getting out and living life to the fullest!! After Regis and Kelly, of course (And the four hours it took me to come up with this nonsense).
Peace out -Sorry, Monday's are "Talk Like LL COOL J Day" over here. |
Edited by - The King Of Karaoke on 01/08/2004 23:42:56 |
|
|
Cult_Of_Frank
= Black Noise Maker =
Canada
11687 Posts |
Posted - 01/05/2004 : 06:23:56
|
Heh heh, welcome aboard sir.
 "Join the Cult of Frank / And you'll be enlightened" |
 |
|
|
STITCHES
= Cult of Ray =
USA
915 Posts |
Posted - 01/05/2004 : 06:42:45
|
you took the time to post that long-ass bio and you say you're not wasting any time???? I beg to differ my friend! but welcome anyway
-----------------------
MAMASAYMAMASAMAMACOOSA |
|
|
|
Cookie
- FB Fan -
USA
82 Posts |
Posted - 01/05/2004 : 07:43:46
|
delightfully humorous in a smart-ass way. Kudos
|
|
|
|
apl4eris
~ Abstract Brain ~
USA
4800 Posts |
Posted - 01/05/2004 : 13:30:41
|
Did you get tired of WESHing?
ah, and welcome to the forum.
 Swedish Chef's "Dumpling of Wisdom": Øder tis moodle in der noggin tu smacken der ouchey und vinger-slingers ur to smacken-backen und fix de morkin, yøobetcha! |
Edited by - apl4eris on 01/05/2004 13:32:23 |
|
|
|
STITCHES
= Cult of Ray =
USA
915 Posts |
Posted - 01/05/2004 : 13:33:13
|
YOU WATCH YOUR MOUTH, APL!!!!!!!!
-----------------------
MAMASAYMAMASAMAMACOOSA |
|
|
|
TheCroutonFuton
- Mr. Setlists -
USA
1728 Posts |
Posted - 01/05/2004 : 13:33:54
|
You'd better not go back to that all caps shit...
 "Join the Cult of Gunn / And Then You'll Be Destined to be a Rock and Roll Star of Epical Proportions!" |
|
|
|
PsychicTwin
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1772 Posts |
Posted - 01/05/2004 : 13:35:47
|
King of Karaoke-
I find your story unconvincing to say the least.
No one...and I mean NO ONE...in their right mind watches Regis and Kelly on Tv.
http://psychictwin.tripod.com |
|
|
|
apl4eris
~ Abstract Brain ~
USA
4800 Posts |
Posted - 01/05/2004 : 13:39:41
|
Where do they watch them then, Psychic?
Swedish Chef's "Dumpling of Wisdom": Øder tis moodle in der noggin tu smacken der ouchey und vinger-slingers ur to smacken-backen und fix de morkin, yøobetcha! |
|
|
|
The King Of Karaoke
> Teenager of the Year <
USA
3759 Posts |
Posted - 01/05/2004 : 13:50:50
|
Dear psychic,
I'm sorry you're correct. I really don't watch Regis and Kelly on TV. I have a years worth of tickets as an actual member of their live audience.
Regis is God!
Note to self - Making love to blow up doll, not as good as advertised. |
Edited by - The King Of Karaoke on 01/05/2004 13:51:36 |
|
|
|
The King Of Karaoke
> Teenager of the Year <
USA
3759 Posts |
Posted - 01/05/2004 : 13:50:50
|
Dear psychic,
I'm sorry you're correct. I really don't watch Regis and Kelly on TV. I have a years worth of tickets as an actual member of their live audience.
Regis is God!
Note to self - Making love to blow up doll, not as good as advertised. |
Edited by - The King Of Karaoke on 01/05/2004 13:51:36 |
|
|
|
STITCHES
= Cult of Ray =
USA
915 Posts |
Posted - 01/05/2004 : 13:51:45
|
quote:
Originally posted by TheCroutonFuton
You'd better not go back to that all caps shit...
OR WHAT?
-----------------------
MAMASAYMAMASAMAMACOOSA |
|
|
|
TheCroutonFuton
- Mr. Setlists -
USA
1728 Posts |
Posted - 01/05/2004 : 13:54:08
|
Or else you're going to get banned again, haha, that's easy.
"Join the Cult of Gunn / And Then You'll Be Destined to be a Rock and Roll Star of Epical Proportions!" |
|
|
|
STITCHES
= Cult of Ray =
USA
915 Posts |
Posted - 01/05/2004 : 13:55:37
|
nah...that's not what got me banned before
and the first time I used caps on this thread it really was for emphasis....the second time was to act like I was going back to caps...which I might do just to see how long it takes people to notice
-----------------------
MAMASAYMAMASAMAMACOOSA |
|
|
|
STITCHES
= Cult of Ray =
USA
915 Posts |
Posted - 01/05/2004 : 13:55:37
|
nah...that's not what got me banned before
and the first time I used caps on this thread it really was for emphasis....the second time was to act like I was going back to caps...which I might do just to see how long it takes people to notice
-----------------------
MAMASAYMAMASAMAMACOOSA |
|
|
|
TheCroutonFuton
- Mr. Setlists -
USA
1728 Posts |
Posted - 01/05/2004 : 13:57:39
|
ooh, that's actually a good idea. Test the forum's reaction time.
"Join the Cult of Gunn / And Then You'll Be Destined to be a Rock and Roll Star of Epical Proportions!" |
|
|
|
STITCHES
= Cult of Ray =
USA
915 Posts |
Posted - 01/05/2004 : 14:09:16
|
but now that we've talked about it, it will have to wait. Although I've noticed the militant asses aren't really posting so much these days, so it might not be an issue
-----------------------
MAMASAYMAMASAMAMACOOSA |
|
|
|
Owen
- FB Fan -
USA
165 Posts |
Posted - 01/06/2004 : 07:28:34
|
| Did I miss the part where you ask us to wire money to your Nigerian bank account? |
|
|
|
The King Of Karaoke
> Teenager of the Year <
USA
3759 Posts |
Posted - 01/07/2004 : 17:40:54
|
PPPlleehahahahaha!!
This karaoke guys a riot!
Note to self - Making love to blow up doll, not as good as advertised. |
|
|
|
apl4eris
~ Abstract Brain ~
USA
4800 Posts |
Posted - 01/08/2004 : 11:47:26
|
A riot of one....
Nyeah nyeah. ;)
Swedish Chef's "Dumpling of Wisdom": Øder tis moodle in der noggin tu smacken der ouchey und vinger-slingers ur to smacken-backen und fix de morkin, yøobetcha! |
|
|
|
STITCHES
= Cult of Ray =
USA
915 Posts |
Posted - 01/08/2004 : 11:49:41
|
quote:
Originally posted by The King Of Karaoke
PPPlleehahahahaha!!
This karaoke guys a riot!
I dont know about that 
------------------------
ALL I NEED IS THE AIR THAT I BREATHE,
AND TO LOVE YOU |
|
|
|
TheCroutonFuton
- Mr. Setlists -
USA
1728 Posts |
Posted - 01/08/2004 : 11:53:15
|
huh...so that's you, I'm guessing? haha
"Join the Cult of Gunn / And Then You'll Be Destined to be a Rock and Roll Star of Epical Proportions!" |
|
|
|
The King Of Karaoke
> Teenager of the Year <
USA
3759 Posts |
Posted - 01/08/2004 : 13:36:33
|
LBNOL (Laughing But Not Out Loud). Too many people always LOL (Laughing Out Loud) around here. Sometimes I don't feel like LOL (Laughing Out Loud). I mean we have enough problems in this world to worry about as it is. Lets not make it worse by always feeling pressured to be LOL (Laughing Out Loud) all the time. If I read something I find absolutley hysterical (usually something by that karaoke guy) then okay. I may not be able to help but be LOL (Laughing Out Loud). I mean who can? The guys a riot! But most other stuff may just cause me to be CQTM (Chuckling Quietly To Myself). Or maybe LBNLETBDOAM (Laughing But Not Loud Enough To Be Disturbing Others Around Me). If it's early (before 6:00 am) and I'm in a particularly foul mood because I haven't had a drink yet (because I haven't turned in my cans), I might be like, "SYSCH" (Shut Your Stupid Cake Hole!). You know what I mean?
Note to self - Making love to blow up doll, not as good as advertised. |
|
|
|
STITCHES
= Cult of Ray =
USA
915 Posts |
Posted - 01/08/2004 : 14:50:26
|
{YAWN}
------------------------
ALL I NEED IS THE AIR THAT I BREATHE,
AND TO LOVE YOU |
|
|
|
STITCHES
= Cult of Ray =
USA
915 Posts |
Posted - 01/08/2004 : 14:54:18
|
{YAWN}
------------------------
ALL I NEED IS THE AIR THAT I BREATHE,
AND TO LOVE YOU |
|
|
|
The King Of Karaoke
> Teenager of the Year <
USA
3759 Posts |
Posted - 01/08/2004 : 15:06:28
|
Okay, okay, sorry. Kinda lame I know. Cut me some slack, I'm bored
Hey Stitches,
get some rest. You sound tired, and awfully redundant. ; )
Note to self - Making love to blow up doll, not as good as advertised. |
|
|
|
glacial906
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1738 Posts |
Posted - 01/08/2004 : 22:04:45
|
quote:
LBNLETBDOAM (Laughing But Not Loud Enough To Be Disturbing Others Around Me).
Is this meant to be ebonics on purpose? The "be" in there is totally unneccessary. A good alternative would be "laughing but not loud enough to disturb others around me."
Take me, break me, tell me a good one and maybe I'll cry
|
|
|
|
GypsyDeath
Zapped Profile
3575 Posts |
Posted - 01/08/2004 : 22:12:46
|
well.
So to live life to the full, you thought youd join an internet forum? I shudder to think what youre life was like before!
And you know / made too many net abbrev.
Keep On My Mean Side |
|
|
|
glacial906
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1738 Posts |
Posted - 01/08/2004 : 22:19:17
|
My life was utter shite before I joined this forum...In fact I think that I'm going to legally have my name changed to "glacial906." AND I used to live in a waxboard box.
Take me, break me, tell me a good one and maybe I'll cry
|
|
|
|
The King Of Karaoke
> Teenager of the Year <
USA
3759 Posts |
Posted - 01/08/2004 : 23:18:47
|
I just got stood up on I blind date tonight and am not in the mood for your put downs Mr Glacial 906, etc.
My family is not too happy about this. They've been counting on finding me a woman and moving me out of the double wide by my thirty seventh birthday.
They're still very disappointed that the whole mail order bride thing didn't work out for me as planned. Grandpa took on a second mortgage on the trailer to get up enough money for that Christmas surprise. When they said they got me a "mail order bride." What I thought they meant was, one of them there, "fine Russian ladies." Well, all I got was a blow up doll in the mail, from outta the back one of Ma's "Hustlers" and two thirty packs of Natural Ice. Which was actually okay at first, but now I'm outta beer and the old plastic bitch is starting to get on my nerves!
Note to self - Making love to blow up doll, not as good as advertised. |
Edited by - The King Of Karaoke on 01/10/2004 16:25:08 |
|
|
|
glacial906
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1738 Posts |
Posted - 01/09/2004 : 22:24:26
|
You're a mighty defensive one, arentcha?
Take me, break me, tell me a good one and maybe I'll cry
|
|
|
|
The King Of Karaoke
> Teenager of the Year <
USA
3759 Posts |
Posted - 01/09/2004 : 23:03:13
|
Well Glacial ya see, it's going on the tenth of the month. I spent all of January's disability check at BINGO. I'm runnin low on Bugler. My fuckin Gramps drank my last lucky larger. We got nine adults an five littlins in the double wide over here. So karnsarnit! I'm sorry if I'm soundin a bit crochity. The main problem being I can't seem to git me any privacy to do what I love best. Surf internet porn! Plus that's my only means of seein what my little sis is up to these days.
Not to mention the damn karaoke machine's busted again!
Note to self - Get ass wart cream...For giant wart...On ass! |
Edited by - The King Of Karaoke on 01/12/2004 13:36:16 |
|
|
|
STITCHES
= Cult of Ray =
USA
915 Posts |
Posted - 01/12/2004 : 13:43:03
|
By any chance is there an ignore feature on the messageboard???
------------------------
THERE'S A TEAR IN MY BEER
'CAUSE I'M CRYING FOR YOU, DEAR
|
|
|
|
The King Of Karaoke
> Teenager of the Year <
USA
3759 Posts |
Posted - 01/12/2004 : 14:12:12
|
I'm gonna ignore that!
Don't feel threatened Stich. There are enough lapses in laughter around here for you to sneak in some of your humor  . Like the next twenty four hours for example. I'll be at work.
Note to self - Get ass wart cream...For giant wart...On ass! |
|
|
|
STITCHES
= Cult of Ray =
USA
915 Posts |
Posted - 01/12/2004 : 14:12:54
|
thank god
------------------------
THERE'S A TEAR IN MY BEER
'CAUSE I'M CRYING FOR YOU, DEAR
|
|
|
|
The King Of Karaoke
> Teenager of the Year <
USA
3759 Posts |
Posted - 01/12/2004 : 14:16:00
|
lol
Note to self - Get ass wart cream...For giant wart...On ass! |
|
|
| |
Topic |
|
Topic Locked
