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realmeanmotorscutor
* Dog in the Sand *

USA
1764 Posts

Posted - 09/28/2003 :  19:09:24  Show Profile
Hey everyone. This was a topic in Bakers Dozen. Someone (rightly) noted that we didn't even begin to scratch the surface of great Simpsons quotes so I figured I'd start a new thread dedicated to them. Here are just a handful that I can think of. Add them as you think of them, I was in hysterics just remembering them.

-One Armed Army Guy: It can take a 16 megaton blast, no more no less.
-Homer: Stupid sexy Flanders.
-Homer: Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?
-Bart: What part of Diddi Mao (sp?)don't you understand?
-Lovejoy: Do you see a light? Homer: Yes Lovejoy:Move into the light my son . . . Zzzzzaaap! Homer: AAAArrrhrrggghh
-What's your first name Mr. Burns? Homer: I doooon't know.
-Moe: Alright hand over the pants; Yeah I rob people now.
-Homer (singing): In the jungle, the creepy jungle, Homer rides a freak.
-Homer (singing): Simpson, Homer Simpson, he's the greatest guy in history. From the town of Springfield, he's about to hit a Chesnut tree.
-Homer: Don't blame me; I voted for Kodos.
-Homer: English side ruined, must use French directions. Le grille! What the hell is that!? (And the rest of that scene. Though not a line his scream and the umbrella are priceless)
-Homer: Awww, Maggie lost her baby legs.
-Homer: Fine! I don't even know why we have a bottle. Somebody tell me.
-Bart: Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas, the birth of Santa?
Ralph: It tastes like burning.
Homer: Don't eat me, I have a wife and kids. Eat them.
Burns: Thanks for not making fun of my genitalia.
McBain. My eyes! Za goggles, zey do na-sing.

Itchload
= Cult of Ray =

USA
891 Posts

Posted - 09/28/2003 :  21:39:41  Show Profile
not really a line, but Mr. Vanhouten's record debut: "Can I Buy a Feeling?"
Ralph to Homer (when he has a flesh wound): You're healing over my hand
Karl to Homer: My mother taught me never to kiss a fool!
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BrendanT
= Cult of Ray =

Canada
907 Posts

Posted - 09/29/2003 :  10:57:54  Show Profile
Otto plays the guitar in the garage.

Homer: Will you knock it off, I can't hear myself think!
[the music stops]
Brain: I want some peanuts.
Homer: That's better!



Strummer-man
I had me a vision!

It's step, hip, step, pivot! Are you trying to piss-off the volcano?!
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BrendanT
= Cult of Ray =

Canada
907 Posts

Posted - 09/29/2003 :  10:58:53  Show Profile
Burns: We don't have to be adversaries, Homer.
We both want a fair union contract.
Brain: Why is Mr. Burns being so nice to me?
Burns: And if you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.
Brain: Wait a minute. Is he coming onto me?
Burns: I mean, if I should slip something into your pocket, what's the harm?
Brain: My God! He <is> coming onto me!
Burns: After all, negotiations make strange bedfellows.
[chuckle] [wink]
Brain: Aaaaaagh!
Homer: Sorry, Mr. Burns, but I don't go in for these backdoor shenanigans.
Sure, I'm flattered, maybe even a little curious,
but the answer is no!

Strummer-man
I had me a vision!

It's step, hip, step, pivot! Are you trying to piss-off the volcano?!
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Havalina
- FB Fan -

23 Posts

Posted - 09/29/2003 :  11:05:13  Show Profile
Ralph, after crashing through the simpson's front window with a note tied to him: "I'm a brick!"
Ralph:"dying tickles!"
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Brackish Girl
~ Soul Eater ~

Ireland
1750 Posts

Posted - 09/29/2003 :  11:53:05  Show Profile
*racing fruit down the bus floor*
Bart: go apple!
Milhouse: go orange!
Ralph: go banana!


doo doo doo...
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El Barto
= Song DB Master =

USA
4020 Posts

Posted - 09/29/2003 :  13:26:32  Show Profile  Visit El Barto's Homepage
Wiggum: Mrs. Simpson, we have some bad news. Your husband was found DOA.
Marge: Oh my God, he's dead!?
Wiggum: Oh wait, I mean DWI! Heh, I always get those two mixed up.
Mrs. Phillips: Hi, my name is Mrs. Phillips. You said my husband was found DWI.
Wiggum: Uh...talk to that officer over there, I'm going out to lunch. *footsteps, door slam*

Homer: Well, time to go to work.
Brain: Little do they know I'm ducking out early to take the Duff Brewery tour.
Homer: Roll in at nine, punch out at five, that's the plan.
Brain: Heh, heh, heh. They don't suspect a thing.
Brain: Well, off to the plant.
Homer: Then to the Duff Brewery.
Brain: Uh, oh. Did I say that or just think it?
Homer: I've got to think of a lie fast!
Marge: Homer, are you going to the Duff Brewery?
Homer: Aah! *footsteps, door slam*

I recently got a DVD player (finally) and have been watching Season 1 with commentary. Simpson geek heaven.


"I joined the Cult of Frank / Did anyone else have to give up their first born?"

Edited by - El Barto on 09/29/2003 13:27:10
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realmeanmotorscutor
* Dog in the Sand *

USA
1764 Posts

Posted - 09/29/2003 :  18:45:08  Show Profile
haha, these are all classic. Keep em coming.

Homer: Ok, don't panic. Just remember the advice your father gave you on your wedding day.
Grandpa Simpson: If ever you travel back in time don't touch anything. Even the smallest change can alter the future in waaays you can't imagine.
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Cult_Of_Frank
= Black Noise Maker =

Canada
11513 Posts

Posted - 09/30/2003 :  07:48:34  Show Profile  Visit Cult_Of_Frank's Homepage
Grandpa Simpson (on exiting Outhouse): This elevator only goes to the basement... and someone made an awful mess down there.


"Join the Cult of Frank / And you'll be enlightened"
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MrFeech
- FB Fan -

United Kingdom
9 Posts

Posted - 09/30/2003 :  08:08:32  Show Profile  Click to see MrFeech's MSN Messenger address
Homer: My name's Max Power. I got it from the side of a hairdryer.

I Like Birds.
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mereubu
= FB QuizMistress =

USA
2677 Posts

Posted - 09/30/2003 :  09:05:54  Show Profile  Visit mereubu's Homepage
Smithers: "Women and seamen shouldn't mix."



"I joined the Cult of Frank / And all I got was this lousy icon"
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ramona
"FB Quote Mistress"

USA
3988 Posts

Posted - 09/30/2003 :  10:49:34  Show Profile  Visit ramona's Homepage
I have a few favorites, but I especially love when Lisa says about Nelson;
"He's a riddle, wrapped in an enigma, wrapped in a vest."

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El Barto
= Song DB Master =

USA
4020 Posts

Posted - 09/30/2003 :  11:25:45  Show Profile  Visit El Barto's Homepage
Moe: Aw your teef hurt, huh, your teef hurt? Well TOO FREAKIN BAD! I'LL TELL YOU WHERE YOU CAN PUT YOUR FREAKIN SODIE!
Rod: Ow my freakin ears!
Ned: Well, I'd expect this kind of language at Dennys, but not here!


"I joined the Cult of Frank / Did anyone else have to give up their first born?"
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Doog
* Dog in the Sand *

United Kingdom
1220 Posts

Posted - 09/30/2003 :  14:36:15  Show Profile  Visit Doog's Homepage  Click to see Doog's MSN Messenger address
*Bart fantasisng of a future of being a gigantic fat dude surrounded by reporters*

"Ahh wash maself with a raaaaaag on a sti-yuck"

That always makes me piss myself, too funny.
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FranknWeezer
= Cult of Ray =

USA
356 Posts

Posted - 10/02/2003 :  09:11:52  Show Profile
Homer: Oh my god! That guy looks just like me! This is the best day of my life.....Oh look, that dog has a puffy tail!!! (Homer follows dog down the street).

-FranknWeezer
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Cult_Of_Frank
= Black Noise Maker =

Canada
11513 Posts

Posted - 10/02/2003 :  10:11:46  Show Profile  Visit Cult_Of_Frank's Homepage
Alright, here's some lesser quoted quotes in a minor character medley:

Milhouse: I feel like I'm gonna' explode here! <proceeds to try to explode>
One-armed guy: The key to Springfield has always been Elm Street. The Greeks knew it, the Carthaginians knew it, now you know it.
Bumblebee Man: Aye aye aye, un candelabra precarioso! <his entire home falls on him>
Disco Stu: Back away, not today, disco lady. <Marge has kids>

This exchange is priceless:
Principal Skinner: Ahhhh... rora Borealis?
Superintendant Chalmers: Aurora Borealis?! <angry/incredulous> At this time of day, at this time of year, in this part of the country, localized entirely within your kitchen?!?!?!?!
Principal Skinner: Yes.
Superintendant Chalmers: <earnestly> May I see it?
Principal Skinner: No.

Well, that's all for now. I'll be back with more.






"Join the Cult of Frank / And you'll be enlightened"
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Coldheartofstone
* Dog in the Sand *

Canada
2025 Posts

Posted - 10/02/2003 :  10:26:56  Show Profile  Click to see Coldheartofstone's MSN Messenger address
"My Cat's Breath smells like cat food!"
"I am so smart....S.M.R.T NO wait wait...S.M.A.R.T!"

Forget your Ying, and go fuck your Yang! - FB
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Coldheartofstone
* Dog in the Sand *

Canada
2025 Posts

Posted - 10/02/2003 :  10:28:23  Show Profile  Click to see Coldheartofstone's MSN Messenger address
That'll teach him to bust my Tamater...

Forget your Ying, and go fuck your Yang! - FB
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speedy_m
= Frankofile =

Canada
3580 Posts

Posted - 10/02/2003 :  13:18:14  Show Profile
Homer: They're just hams, okay Marge?


ixies
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PsychicTwin
* Dog in the Sand *

USA
1772 Posts

Posted - 10/02/2003 :  13:25:25  Show Profile  Visit PsychicTwin's Homepage
Marge: All the paperclips in the house are missing!

--> http://psychictwin.tripod.com <--
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Coldheartofstone
* Dog in the Sand *

Canada
2025 Posts

Posted - 10/02/2003 :  13:28:23  Show Profile  Click to see Coldheartofstone's MSN Messenger address
"The curtains smell like dube"-Marge

Forget your Ying, and go fuck your Yang! - FB
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El Barto
= Song DB Master =

USA
4020 Posts

Posted - 10/02/2003 :  16:09:51  Show Profile  Visit El Barto's Homepage
Dean, I can easily top your Skinner/Chalmers exchange with my favorite exchange, which is superior because I say so, and my nickname for the past 7 years has been a Simpsons reference, so I have more credibility:

*newspaper headline reads "Awful School Awful Rich"...Skinner holds up the paper to show Chalmers*
Skinner: Superintendent, we made the front page today!
Chalmers: What does that say under your hand?
Skinner: Oh, it's an unrelated article.
Chalmers: Unrelated article?
Skinner: Mmmhmm.
Chalmers: In the banner headline?
Skinner: Yes...now, redirecting out conversation slightly...



"I joined the Cult of Frank / Did anyone else have to give up their first born?"
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Active Duck
~ Abstract Brain ~

United Kingdom
341 Posts

Posted - 10/02/2003 :  16:35:12  Show Profile
Stupid like a fox
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Cult_Of_Frank
= Black Noise Maker =

Canada
11513 Posts

Posted - 10/02/2003 :  16:42:36  Show Profile  Visit Cult_Of_Frank's Homepage
Jim, that is a hilarious one. I love those two. However, you, being subordinate to me in my oh-so-esteemed cult, must acceed that questioning the leader (me) is wrong.

Repeat after me: The leader is good, the leader is great, I surrender my will, as of this date.

Or, if that doesn't work: Nana nana nana nana Deaner! Deaner!


"Join the Cult of Frank / And you'll be enlightened"
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mereubu
= FB QuizMistress =

USA
2677 Posts

Posted - 10/02/2003 :  18:37:31  Show Profile  Visit mereubu's Homepage
Skinner: "Now chew through my ball sack, Nibbles."


"I joined the Cult of Frank / And all I got was this lousy icon"
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edwina
- FB Fan -

United Kingdom
179 Posts

Posted - 10/03/2003 :  06:22:11  Show Profile
Homer to Bart on how to dump a woman: "say you are married to the sea"

Edited by - edwina on 10/03/2003 07:55:49
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ramona
"FB Quote Mistress"

USA
3988 Posts

Posted - 10/03/2003 :  06:49:11  Show Profile  Visit ramona's Homepage
The people of Springfield are trying to build the world's tallest human pyramid when they fall and begin rolling - a giant people ball! Meanwhile a man is leaping off a building to his death and says "Good-bye cruel world!" he jumps and gets caught in the ball and cries out "Hello, ironic twist!"
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El Barto
= Song DB Master =

USA
4020 Posts

Posted - 10/03/2003 :  20:54:43  Show Profile  Visit El Barto's Homepage
ramona looses points for quoting one of the worst episodes of all time.

edwina how about :

Homer: Step aside and watch a pro. "Dear baby, welcome to Dumpville. Population: You"

Homer: Three simple words: I am gay.
Marge: Homer, for the last time, we're not writing that.

Homer: P.S. I am gay.


"I joined the Cult of Frank / Did anyone else have to give up their first born?"
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Itchload
= Cult of Ray =

USA
891 Posts

Posted - 10/04/2003 :  08:28:44  Show Profile
When Homer's obese and tries to use a phone and gets the message "beep" the fingers you are dialing with are too fat..."
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ramona
"FB Quote Mistress"

USA
3988 Posts

Posted - 10/04/2003 :  09:06:47  Show Profile  Visit ramona's Homepage
Oh screw, Jim. I love that line.
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realmeanmotorscutor
* Dog in the Sand *

USA
1764 Posts

Posted - 10/04/2003 :  09:32:10  Show Profile
Scientist Guy: This is an ordinary square
Wiggum: Whoa Whoa, slow down egghead.

Hell, that entire episode (Homer 3D for those who didn't know)
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El Barto
= Song DB Master =

USA
4020 Posts

Posted - 10/04/2003 :  21:51:39  Show Profile  Visit El Barto's Homepage
Scientist guy? You mean Professor Frink? AMATEURS! I love those lines though, realmean. Then Wiggum gets up and shoots at the wall.

Homer: Has anyone seen the movie "Tron"?

Homer: I'm somewhere I've never been before.
Selma: The shower! *laugh*


"I joined the Cult of Frank / Did anyone else have to give up their first born?"
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Don Eduardo
= Cult of Ray =

Australia
401 Posts

Posted - 10/04/2003 :  22:01:38  Show Profile  Click to see Don Eduardo's MSN Messenger address
"Homer dont mention S-E-X in front of the C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N"
"Sex Cauldron??!! I thought they shut that place down!"
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realmeanmotorscutor
* Dog in the Sand *

USA
1764 Posts

Posted - 10/04/2003 :  23:29:11  Show Profile
yes Prof. Frink! :) "Enough of your borax poindexter; weeeee neeeed action! Take that ya lousy di-mension"

Homer: How much?
Frink: two dollars
Homer: Two bucks? And it only transports matter? mmm, I'll give you 35 cents.

notice a trend? The Halloween Specials rule!
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realmeanmotorscutor
* Dog in the Sand *

USA
1764 Posts

Posted - 10/05/2003 :  11:20:28  Show Profile
Homer: I'm a rageaholic, I just can't live without rageahol!

Lisa's Environmentalist Crush (he probably has a name but I'm just not that good): I'm a level five vegan; I don't eat anything that casts a shadow.

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FrequencyOfGlow
- FB Fan -

USA
157 Posts

Posted - 10/15/2003 :  15:02:08  Show Profile  Visit FrequencyOfGlow's Homepage
Ralph, after eating the purple berries—"It tastes like...burning"

Homer: "I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals FUH-LAMING!"

Prof. Frink "Whoa, nice judge. Don't hurt a person with the thing."

Lisa's anagram of Jeremy Irons—"Jeremy's Iron"

Kirk VanHouten's song "Take my hand with your glove of love"



I like that lemur, I lick it. That's velvety!
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