Hey everyone. This was a topic in Bakers Dozen. Someone (rightly) noted that we didn't even begin to scratch the surface of great Simpsons quotes so I figured I'd start a new thread dedicated to them. Here are just a handful that I can think of. Add them as you think of them, I was in hysterics just remembering them.
-One Armed Army Guy: It can take a 16 megaton blast, no more no less. -Homer: Stupid sexy Flanders. -Homer: Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream? -Bart: What part of Diddi Mao (sp?)don't you understand? -Lovejoy: Do you see a light? Homer: Yes Lovejoy:Move into the light my son . . . Zzzzzaaap! Homer: AAAArrrhrrggghh -What's your first name Mr. Burns? Homer: I doooon't know. -Moe: Alright hand over the pants; Yeah I rob people now. -Homer (singing): In the jungle, the creepy jungle, Homer rides a freak. -Homer (singing): Simpson, Homer Simpson, he's the greatest guy in history. From the town of Springfield, he's about to hit a Chesnut tree. -Homer: Don't blame me; I voted for Kodos. -Homer: English side ruined, must use French directions. Le grille! What the hell is that!? (And the rest of that scene. Though not a line his scream and the umbrella are priceless) -Homer: Awww, Maggie lost her baby legs. -Homer: Fine! I don't even know why we have a bottle. Somebody tell me. -Bart: Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas, the birth of Santa? Ralph: It tastes like burning. Homer: Don't eat me, I have a wife and kids. Eat them. Burns: Thanks for not making fun of my genitalia. McBain. My eyes! Za goggles, zey do na-sing.
not really a line, but Mr. Vanhouten's record debut: "Can I Buy a Feeling?" Ralph to Homer (when he has a flesh wound): You're healing over my hand Karl to Homer: My mother taught me never to kiss a fool!
Burns: We don't have to be adversaries, Homer. We both want a fair union contract. Brain: Why is Mr. Burns being so nice to me? Burns: And if you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours. Brain: Wait a minute. Is he coming onto me? Burns: I mean, if I should slip something into your pocket, what's the harm? Brain: My God! He <is> coming onto me! Burns: After all, negotiations make strange bedfellows. [chuckle] [wink] Brain: Aaaaaagh! Homer: Sorry, Mr. Burns, but I don't go in for these backdoor shenanigans. Sure, I'm flattered, maybe even a little curious, but the answer is no!
Strummer-man I had me a vision!
It's step, hip, step, pivot! Are you trying to piss-off the volcano?!
Wiggum: Mrs. Simpson, we have some bad news. Your husband was found DOA. Marge: Oh my God, he's dead!? Wiggum: Oh wait, I mean DWI! Heh, I always get those two mixed up. Mrs. Phillips: Hi, my name is Mrs. Phillips. You said my husband was found DWI. Wiggum: Uh...talk to that officer over there, I'm going out to lunch. *footsteps, door slam*
Homer: Well, time to go to work. Brain: Little do they know I'm ducking out early to take the Duff Brewery tour. Homer: Roll in at nine, punch out at five, that's the plan. Brain: Heh, heh, heh. They don't suspect a thing. Brain: Well, off to the plant. Homer: Then to the Duff Brewery. Brain: Uh, oh. Did I say that or just think it? Homer: I've got to think of a lie fast! Marge: Homer, are you going to the Duff Brewery? Homer: Aah! *footsteps, door slam*
I recently got a DVD player (finally) and have been watching Season 1 with commentary. Simpson geek heaven.
"I joined the Cult of Frank / Did anyone else have to give up their first born?"
Homer: Ok, don't panic. Just remember the advice your father gave you on your wedding day. Grandpa Simpson: If ever you travel back in time don't touch anything. Even the smallest change can alter the future in waaays you can't imagine.
Moe: Aw your teef hurt, huh, your teef hurt? Well TOO FREAKIN BAD! I'LL TELL YOU WHERE YOU CAN PUT YOUR FREAKIN SODIE! Rod: Ow my freakin ears! Ned: Well, I'd expect this kind of language at Dennys, but not here!
"I joined the Cult of Frank / Did anyone else have to give up their first born?"
Homer: Oh my god! That guy looks just like me! This is the best day of my life.....Oh look, that dog has a puffy tail!!! (Homer follows dog down the street).
Alright, here's some lesser quoted quotes in a minor character medley:
Milhouse: I feel like I'm gonna' explode here! <proceeds to try to explode> One-armed guy: The key to Springfield has always been Elm Street. The Greeks knew it, the Carthaginians knew it, now you know it. Bumblebee Man: Aye aye aye, un candelabra precarioso! <his entire home falls on him> Disco Stu: Back away, not today, disco lady. <Marge has kids>
This exchange is priceless: Principal Skinner: Ahhhh... rora Borealis? Superintendant Chalmers: Aurora Borealis?! <angry/incredulous> At this time of day, at this time of year, in this part of the country, localized entirely within your kitchen?!?!?!?! Principal Skinner: Yes. Superintendant Chalmers: <earnestly> May I see it? Principal Skinner: No.
Well, that's all for now. I'll be back with more.
"Join the Cult of Frank / And you'll be enlightened"
Dean, I can easily top your Skinner/Chalmers exchange with my favorite exchange, which is superior because I say so, and my nickname for the past 7 years has been a Simpsons reference, so I have more credibility:
*newspaper headline reads "Awful School Awful Rich"...Skinner holds up the paper to show Chalmers* Skinner: Superintendent, we made the front page today! Chalmers: What does that say under your hand? Skinner: Oh, it's an unrelated article. Chalmers: Unrelated article? Skinner: Mmmhmm. Chalmers: In the banner headline? Skinner: Yes...now, redirecting out conversation slightly...
"I joined the Cult of Frank / Did anyone else have to give up their first born?"
Jim, that is a hilarious one. I love those two. However, you, being subordinate to me in my oh-so-esteemed cult, must acceed that questioning the leader (me) is wrong.
Repeat after me: The leader is good, the leader is great, I surrender my will, as of this date.
Or, if that doesn't work: Nana nana nana nana Deaner! Deaner!
"Join the Cult of Frank / And you'll be enlightened"
The people of Springfield are trying to build the world's tallest human pyramid when they fall and begin rolling - a giant people ball! Meanwhile a man is leaping off a building to his death and says "Good-bye cruel world!" he jumps and gets caught in the ball and cries out "Hello, ironic twist!"
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Posted - 09/28/2003 : 19:09:24
doo doo doo...
"I joined the Cult of Frank / Did anyone else have to give up their first born?"
ixies