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realmeanmotorscutor
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1764 Posts |
 Posted - 09/28/2003 : 19:09:24
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Hey everyone. This was a topic in Bakers Dozen. Someone (rightly) noted that we didn't even begin to scratch the surface of great Simpsons quotes so I figured I'd start a new thread dedicated to them. Here are just a handful that I can think of. Add them as you think of them, I was in hysterics just remembering them.
-One Armed Army Guy: It can take a 16 megaton blast, no more no less.
-Homer: Stupid sexy Flanders.
-Homer: Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?
-Bart: What part of Diddi Mao (sp?)don't you understand?
-Lovejoy: Do you see a light? Homer: Yes Lovejoy:Move into the light my son . . . Zzzzzaaap! Homer: AAAArrrhrrggghh
-What's your first name Mr. Burns? Homer: I doooon't know.
-Moe: Alright hand over the pants; Yeah I rob people now.
-Homer (singing): In the jungle, the creepy jungle, Homer rides a freak.
-Homer (singing): Simpson, Homer Simpson, he's the greatest guy in history. From the town of Springfield, he's about to hit a Chesnut tree.
-Homer: Don't blame me; I voted for Kodos.
-Homer: English side ruined, must use French directions. Le grille! What the hell is that!? (And the rest of that scene. Though not a line his scream and the umbrella are priceless)
-Homer: Awww, Maggie lost her baby legs.
-Homer: Fine! I don't even know why we have a bottle. Somebody tell me.
-Bart: Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas, the birth of Santa?
Ralph: It tastes like burning.
Homer: Don't eat me, I have a wife and kids. Eat them.
Burns: Thanks for not making fun of my genitalia.
McBain. My eyes! Za goggles, zey do na-sing. |
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Itchload
= Cult of Ray =
USA
891 Posts |
Posted - 09/28/2003 : 21:39:41
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not really a line, but Mr. Vanhouten's record debut: "Can I Buy a Feeling?"
Ralph to Homer (when he has a flesh wound): You're healing over my hand
Karl to Homer: My mother taught me never to kiss a fool! |
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BrendanT
= Cult of Ray =
Canada
907 Posts |
Posted - 09/29/2003 : 10:57:54
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Otto plays the guitar in the garage.
Homer: Will you knock it off, I can't hear myself think!
[the music stops]
Brain: I want some peanuts.
Homer: That's better!
Strummer-man
I had me a vision!
It's step, hip, step, pivot! Are you trying to piss-off the volcano?! |
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BrendanT
= Cult of Ray =
Canada
907 Posts |
Posted - 09/29/2003 : 10:58:53
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Burns: We don't have to be adversaries, Homer.
We both want a fair union contract.
Brain: Why is Mr. Burns being so nice to me?
Burns: And if you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.
Brain: Wait a minute. Is he coming onto me?
Burns: I mean, if I should slip something into your pocket, what's the harm?
Brain: My God! He <is> coming onto me!
Burns: After all, negotiations make strange bedfellows.
[chuckle] [wink]
Brain: Aaaaaagh!
Homer: Sorry, Mr. Burns, but I don't go in for these backdoor shenanigans.
Sure, I'm flattered, maybe even a little curious,
but the answer is no!
Strummer-man
I had me a vision!
It's step, hip, step, pivot! Are you trying to piss-off the volcano?! |
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Havalina
- FB Fan -
23 Posts |
Posted - 09/29/2003 : 11:05:13
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Ralph, after crashing through the simpson's front window with a note tied to him: "I'm a brick!"
Ralph:"dying tickles!" |
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Brackish Girl
~ Soul Eater ~
Ireland
1750 Posts |
Posted - 09/29/2003 : 11:53:05
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*racing fruit down the bus floor*
Bart: go apple!
Milhouse: go orange!
Ralph: go banana!
 doo doo doo... |
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El Barto
= Song DB Master =
USA
4020 Posts |
Posted - 09/29/2003 : 13:26:32
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Wiggum: Mrs. Simpson, we have some bad news. Your husband was found DOA.
Marge: Oh my God, he's dead!?
Wiggum: Oh wait, I mean DWI! Heh, I always get those two mixed up.
Mrs. Phillips: Hi, my name is Mrs. Phillips. You said my husband was found DWI.
Wiggum: Uh...talk to that officer over there, I'm going out to lunch. *footsteps, door slam*
Homer: Well, time to go to work.
Brain: Little do they know I'm ducking out early to take the Duff Brewery tour.
Homer: Roll in at nine, punch out at five, that's the plan.
Brain: Heh, heh, heh. They don't suspect a thing.
Brain: Well, off to the plant.
Homer: Then to the Duff Brewery.
Brain: Uh, oh. Did I say that or just think it?
Homer: I've got to think of a lie fast!
Marge: Homer, are you going to the Duff Brewery?
Homer: Aah! *footsteps, door slam*
I recently got a DVD player (finally) and have been watching Season 1 with commentary. Simpson geek heaven.
 "I joined the Cult of Frank / Did anyone else have to give up their first born?" |
Edited by - El Barto on 09/29/2003 13:27:10 |
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realmeanmotorscutor
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1764 Posts |
Posted - 09/29/2003 : 18:45:08
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haha, these are all classic. Keep em coming.
Homer: Ok, don't panic. Just remember the advice your father gave you on your wedding day.
Grandpa Simpson: If ever you travel back in time don't touch anything. Even the smallest change can alter the future in waaays you can't imagine. |
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Cult_Of_Frank
= Black Noise Maker =
Canada
11687 Posts |
Posted - 09/30/2003 : 07:48:34
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Grandpa Simpson (on exiting Outhouse): This elevator only goes to the basement... and someone made an awful mess down there.
"Join the Cult of Frank / And you'll be enlightened" |
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MrFeech
- FB Fan -
United Kingdom
9 Posts |
Posted - 09/30/2003 : 08:08:32
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Homer: My name's Max Power. I got it from the side of a hairdryer.
I Like Birds. |
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mereubu
= FB QuizMistress =
USA
2677 Posts |
Posted - 09/30/2003 : 09:05:54
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Smithers: "Women and seamen shouldn't mix."
"I joined the Cult of Frank / And all I got was this lousy icon" |
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ramona
"FB Quote Mistress"
USA
3988 Posts |
Posted - 09/30/2003 : 10:49:34
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I have a few favorites, but I especially love when Lisa says about Nelson;
"He's a riddle, wrapped in an enigma, wrapped in a vest."
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El Barto
= Song DB Master =
USA
4020 Posts |
Posted - 09/30/2003 : 11:25:45
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Moe: Aw your teef hurt, huh, your teef hurt? Well TOO FREAKIN BAD! I'LL TELL YOU WHERE YOU CAN PUT YOUR FREAKIN SODIE!
Rod: Ow my freakin ears!
Ned: Well, I'd expect this kind of language at Dennys, but not here!
"I joined the Cult of Frank / Did anyone else have to give up their first born?" |
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Doog
* Dog in the Sand *
United Kingdom
1220 Posts |
Posted - 09/30/2003 : 14:36:15
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*Bart fantasisng of a future of being a gigantic fat dude surrounded by reporters*
"Ahh wash maself with a raaaaaag on a sti-yuck"
That always makes me piss myself, too funny. |
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FranknWeezer
= Cult of Ray =
USA
356 Posts |
Posted - 10/02/2003 : 09:11:52
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Homer: Oh my god! That guy looks just like me! This is the best day of my life.....Oh look, that dog has a puffy tail!!! (Homer follows dog down the street).
-FranknWeezer |
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Cult_Of_Frank
= Black Noise Maker =
Canada
11687 Posts |
Posted - 10/02/2003 : 10:11:46
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Alright, here's some lesser quoted quotes in a minor character medley:
Milhouse: I feel like I'm gonna' explode here! <proceeds to try to explode>
One-armed guy: The key to Springfield has always been Elm Street. The Greeks knew it, the Carthaginians knew it, now you know it.
Bumblebee Man: Aye aye aye, un candelabra precarioso! <his entire home falls on him>
Disco Stu: Back away, not today, disco lady. <Marge has kids>
This exchange is priceless:
Principal Skinner: Ahhhh... rora Borealis?
Superintendant Chalmers: Aurora Borealis?! <angry/incredulous> At this time of day, at this time of year, in this part of the country, localized entirely within your kitchen?!?!?!?!
Principal Skinner: Yes.
Superintendant Chalmers: <earnestly> May I see it?
Principal Skinner: No.
Well, that's all for now. I'll be back with more.
"Join the Cult of Frank / And you'll be enlightened" |
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Coldheartofstone
* Dog in the Sand *
Canada
2025 Posts |
Posted - 10/02/2003 : 10:26:56
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"My Cat's Breath smells like cat food!"
"I am so smart....S.M.R.T NO wait wait...S.M.A.R.T!"
Forget your Ying, and go fuck your Yang! - FB |
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Coldheartofstone
* Dog in the Sand *
Canada
2025 Posts |
Posted - 10/02/2003 : 10:28:23
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That'll teach him to bust my Tamater...
Forget your Ying, and go fuck your Yang! - FB |
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speedy_m
= Frankofile =
Canada
3581 Posts |
Posted - 10/02/2003 : 13:18:14
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Homer: They're just hams, okay Marge?
 ixies |
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PsychicTwin
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1772 Posts |
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Coldheartofstone
* Dog in the Sand *
Canada
2025 Posts |
Posted - 10/02/2003 : 13:28:23
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"The curtains smell like dube"-Marge
Forget your Ying, and go fuck your Yang! - FB |
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El Barto
= Song DB Master =
USA
4020 Posts |
Posted - 10/02/2003 : 16:09:51
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Dean, I can easily top your Skinner/Chalmers exchange with my favorite exchange, which is superior because I say so, and my nickname for the past 7 years has been a Simpsons reference, so I have more credibility:
*newspaper headline reads "Awful School Awful Rich"...Skinner holds up the paper to show Chalmers*
Skinner: Superintendent, we made the front page today!
Chalmers: What does that say under your hand?
Skinner: Oh, it's an unrelated article.
Chalmers: Unrelated article?
Skinner: Mmmhmm.
Chalmers: In the banner headline?
Skinner: Yes...now, redirecting out conversation slightly...
"I joined the Cult of Frank / Did anyone else have to give up their first born?" |
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Active Duck
~ Abstract Brain ~
United Kingdom
432 Posts |
Posted - 10/02/2003 : 16:35:12
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| Stupid like a fox |
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Cult_Of_Frank
= Black Noise Maker =
Canada
11687 Posts |
Posted - 10/02/2003 : 16:42:36
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Jim, that is a hilarious one. I love those two. However, you, being subordinate to me in my oh-so-esteemed cult, must acceed that questioning the leader (me) is wrong.
Repeat after me: The leader is good, the leader is great, I surrender my will, as of this date.
Or, if that doesn't work: Nana nana nana nana Deaner! Deaner!
"Join the Cult of Frank / And you'll be enlightened" |
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mereubu
= FB QuizMistress =
USA
2677 Posts |
Posted - 10/02/2003 : 18:37:31
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Skinner: "Now chew through my ball sack, Nibbles."
"I joined the Cult of Frank / And all I got was this lousy icon" |
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edwina
- FB Fan -
United Kingdom
179 Posts |
Posted - 10/03/2003 : 06:22:11
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| Homer to Bart on how to dump a woman: "say you are married to the sea" |
Edited by - edwina on 10/03/2003 07:55:49 |
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ramona
"FB Quote Mistress"
USA
3988 Posts |
Posted - 10/03/2003 : 06:49:11
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| The people of Springfield are trying to build the world's tallest human pyramid when they fall and begin rolling - a giant people ball! Meanwhile a man is leaping off a building to his death and says "Good-bye cruel world!" he jumps and gets caught in the ball and cries out "Hello, ironic twist!" |
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El Barto
= Song DB Master =
USA
4020 Posts |
Posted - 10/03/2003 : 20:54:43
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ramona looses points for quoting one of the worst episodes of all time.
edwina how about :
Homer: Step aside and watch a pro. "Dear baby, welcome to Dumpville. Population: You"
Homer: Three simple words: I am gay.
Marge: Homer, for the last time, we're not writing that.
Homer: P.S. I am gay.
"I joined the Cult of Frank / Did anyone else have to give up their first born?" |
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Itchload
= Cult of Ray =
USA
891 Posts |
Posted - 10/04/2003 : 08:28:44
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| When Homer's obese and tries to use a phone and gets the message "beep" the fingers you are dialing with are too fat..." |
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ramona
"FB Quote Mistress"
USA
3988 Posts |
Posted - 10/04/2003 : 09:06:47
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| Oh screw, Jim. I love that line. |
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realmeanmotorscutor
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1764 Posts |
Posted - 10/04/2003 : 09:32:10
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Scientist Guy: This is an ordinary square
Wiggum: Whoa Whoa, slow down egghead.
Hell, that entire episode (Homer 3D for those who didn't know) |
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El Barto
= Song DB Master =
USA
4020 Posts |
Posted - 10/04/2003 : 21:51:39
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Scientist guy? You mean Professor Frink? AMATEURS! I love those lines though, realmean. Then Wiggum gets up and shoots at the wall.
Homer: Has anyone seen the movie "Tron"?
Homer: I'm somewhere I've never been before.
Selma: The shower! *laugh*
"I joined the Cult of Frank / Did anyone else have to give up their first born?" |
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Don Eduardo
= Cult of Ray =
Australia
403 Posts |
Posted - 10/04/2003 : 22:01:38
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"Homer dont mention S-E-X in front of the C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N"
"Sex Cauldron??!! I thought they shut that place down!" |
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realmeanmotorscutor
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1764 Posts |
Posted - 10/04/2003 : 23:29:11
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yes Prof. Frink! :) "Enough of your borax poindexter; weeeee neeeed action! Take that ya lousy di-mension"
Homer: How much?
Frink: two dollars
Homer: Two bucks? And it only transports matter? mmm, I'll give you 35 cents.
notice a trend? The Halloween Specials rule! |
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realmeanmotorscutor
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1764 Posts |
Posted - 10/05/2003 : 11:20:28
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Homer: I'm a rageaholic, I just can't live without rageahol!
Lisa's Environmentalist Crush (he probably has a name but I'm just not that good): I'm a level five vegan; I don't eat anything that casts a shadow.
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FrequencyOfGlow
- FB Fan -
USA
157 Posts |
Posted - 10/15/2003 : 15:02:08
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Ralph, after eating the purple berries—"It tastes like...burning"
Homer: "I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals FUH-LAMING!"
Prof. Frink "Whoa, nice judge. Don't hurt a person with the thing."
Lisa's anagram of Jeremy Irons—"Jeremy's Iron"
Kirk VanHouten's song "Take my hand with your glove of love"
I like that lemur, I lick it. That's velvety! |
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