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clemray
- FB Fan -
58 Posts |
 Posted - 10/27/2002 : 07:20:35
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as published.......
HERE COMES YOUR MAN. FORMER PIXIES FRONTMAN FRANK BLACK SOLVES READERS' DILEMMAS WITH LYRICAL PANACHE.
Q: I love my boyfriend, but every time we get into a fight he kicks me out of his apartment. Any suggestions on how I can make him understand that his behavior is fucked up? - Shelly, New York
A: If you really love him, I suggest that you wait patiently for him out in the street and do not bother him at the apartment. Is there a donut shop nearby? Perhaps you could use this "time-out" as a chance to do something nice for him, like buy a dozen of his favorite donuts.
Q: Whenever i go out with my friends, they end up meeting guys and i'm the dork whose left alone. Do i look stupid? - Nancy, Maryland
A: No, you look hot. Nothing is more attractive than a girl who has been abandoned by her so called friends. Your neediness will attract a suitor in no time!
Q: I love to go dancing, but am embarrassed to dance with my girl 'cause she sucks. Any advice? - Lorna, Kentucky
A: You probably do this dancing at gay clubs. Well, then just grab any gay man - all gay men are excellent dancers - and trip the light fantastic. This will also afford your girl some time to get good and soused.
NOW FRANK HAS SOMETHING HE WANTS TO KNOW
Q: Please settle a bet. My mother says that finger bowls are no longer necessary at fancy dinners. I say they never went out of style and that not using them just screams "hoi polloi." Please say i'm right.
A: Dude, usa a napkin. - Ching Yi, Alaska |
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