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Atheist4Catholics
= Cult of Ray =
USA
925 Posts |
 Posted - 07/15/2003 : 22:39:54
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A friend of mine the other day referred to taking a dump as "Swabbing the Ditch". I thought that was pretty damn funny. He's a fountain of original euphemisms. I'm sure this will turn x-rated before that flame hits the folder, but what are some other interesting/hilarious euphemisms you've heard?
www.mp3.com/clootie |
Edited by - Atheist4Catholics on 07/19/2003 15:47:21 |
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speedy_m
= Frankofile =
Canada
3581 Posts |
Posted - 07/15/2003 : 22:57:34
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Dry Humping - "Dress Rehearsal"
Hand Job - "Slippery Handshake"
Masturbation - "Playing a lil' 5 on 1" |
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floop
= Wannabe Volunteer =
Mexico
15297 Posts |
Posted - 07/15/2003 : 23:10:46
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masturbation - stroking the penis repeatedly until you ejaculate
taking a dump - expelling feces from my anus
(my friend's aren't very good at euphemisms) |
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speedy_m
= Frankofile =
Canada
3581 Posts |
Posted - 07/15/2003 : 23:18:24
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| floop, that was freaking hilarious! Well done old boy, I'm chuckling like a mad man... |
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therewererumours
* Dog in the Sand *
Ireland
1240 Posts |
Posted - 07/16/2003 : 08:38:37
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I like to refer to farts as Gaye Burns Promises (I think only Irish people will know who he is).
"I meet a man with no little toe and a real big head" |
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Atheist4Catholics
= Cult of Ray =
USA
925 Posts |
Posted - 07/16/2003 : 08:47:49
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I don't know why I know mostly fecal related euphemisms, but another one for taking a dump is:
"Dropping the kids off at the pool"
www.mp3.com/clootie |
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El Barto
= Song DB Master =
USA
4020 Posts |
Posted - 07/16/2003 : 09:06:01
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Nooo...it's the Cosby kids man. That's the clincher.
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FRANK BLACK SATAN WORKSHIP BLACK MASS |
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Atheist4Catholics
= Cult of Ray =
USA
925 Posts |
Posted - 07/16/2003 : 09:26:21
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quote:
Originally posted by El Barto
Nooo...it's the Cosby kids man. That's the clincher.
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FRANK BLACK SATAN WORKSHIP BLACK MASS
Are you saying my poop shouldn't be white? I should lay off the lye and bone sandwiches!
www.mp3.com/clootie |
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mereubu
= FB QuizMistress =
USA
2677 Posts |
Posted - 07/16/2003 : 09:47:59
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| For masturbation, there's always, "flogging the bishop," "pat the bunny" or "tossing the pink salad." Some friends and I tried to come up with new nonsense ones a few years back but they didn't catch on. "Shaving the hairy back" and "polishing the armoire" just don't have the same ring. |
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bazza
* Dog in the Sand *
Ireland
1439 Posts |
Posted - 07/16/2003 : 09:51:17
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five knuckle shuffle or polishing your knob. my mum would be proud of me if she read this.
Is your work done? Are all pigs fed, watered and ready to fly?....
- David Brent |
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speedy_m
= Frankofile =
Canada
3581 Posts |
Posted - 07/16/2003 : 10:00:03
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| Perhaps this is not quite as factually interesting as the Vegans thread. Maybe direct mumsy to that thread, if she must read up on her boy. |
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BLT
> Teenager of the Year <
South Sandwich Islands
4204 Posts |
Posted - 07/16/2003 : 10:19:07
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| Has anyone ever given birth to "Barney Rubble's Car"? |
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Dave Noisy
Minister of Chaos
Canada
4496 Posts |
Posted - 07/16/2003 : 11:00:28
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A good friend who had to go to the washroom explained he was 'touching cloth'.
He's come up with a bunch, but that's the only one that comes to mind..heh..
Oh wait..we'd joke about anal sex, and he'd say 'i'd like to pop your little button hole'.
I'm great with puns and mixed metaphors, but euphemisms are much too classy for me to compose.. |
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BLT
> Teenager of the Year <
South Sandwich Islands
4204 Posts |
Posted - 07/16/2003 : 11:09:31
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| The Viz Comic "Profanisaurus" has hundreds of these. |
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floop
= Wannabe Volunteer =
Mexico
15297 Posts |
Posted - 07/16/2003 : 11:23:45
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it's not really a euphemism, but i came up with the term "hot sac" to describe that phenomenon where a certain area becomes uncomfortably warm - either from playing sports or sitting in a car all day wearing snug pants.. it's sort of caught on with my friends.
we thought we should develop a product to prevent this sort of thing .. either a mini fan system, or, as my genius friend came up with, a cream, which we'll call "test-i-kool"..
look for it on the market soon.. don't let Hot Sac control your life..
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the swimmer
* Dog in the Sand *
USA
1602 Posts |
Posted - 07/16/2003 : 11:27:49
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quote:
Originally posted by floop
it's not really a euphemism, but i came up with the term "hot sac" to describe that phenomenon where a certain area becomes uncomfortably warm - either from playing sports or sitting in a car all day wearing snug pants.. it's sort of caught on with my friends.
we thought we should develop a product to prevent this sort of thing .. either a mini fan system, or, as my genius friend came up with, a cream, which we'll call "test-i-kool"..
look for it on the market soon.. don't let Hot Sac control your life..
Spinning rotor blades situated in close proximity to the twig and berries does not sit well with me.
Anone ever "Lope the mule" or "Dash through Harlem"? |
Edited by - the swimmer on 07/16/2003 11:28:17 |
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floop
= Wannabe Volunteer =
Mexico
15297 Posts |
Posted - 07/16/2003 : 11:37:43
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quote:
Originally posted by the swimmer
quote:
Originally posted by floop
it's not really a euphemism, but i came up with the term "hot sac" to describe that phenomenon where a certain area becomes uncomfortably warm - either from playing sports or sitting in a car all day wearing snug pants.. it's sort of caught on with my friends.
we thought we should develop a product to prevent this sort of thing .. either a mini fan system, or, as my genius friend came up with, a cream, which we'll call "test-i-kool"..
look for it on the market soon.. don't let Hot Sac control your life..
Spinning rotor blades situated in close proximity to the twig and berries does not sit well with me.
Anone ever "Lope the mule" or "Dash through Harlem"?
but what about a nice soothing cream GUARANTEED to keep things at a comfortable 35 degrees farenheight for up to 10 hours?? eh??
i don't even want to explain what they are, but anyone heard of the "Dirty Sanchez" and/or the "Cleveland Steamer"? |
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bazza
* Dog in the Sand *
Ireland
1439 Posts |
Posted - 07/16/2003 : 11:42:00
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the sneaky butcher. gets the meat in the back door.
Is your work done? Are all pigs fed, watered and ready to fly?....
- David Brent |
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Atheist4Catholics
= Cult of Ray =
USA
925 Posts |
Posted - 07/16/2003 : 11:44:38
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Dave - I've hear Tommy Lee use the phrase "touch cloth". Are you friends with Tommy Lee?
Speaking of hot sacs, I saw a program on sex that talked about some German guys who experimented with sterilizing themselves by submersing their "fellows" in 120 degree F water for a few hours a day. It worked! They found that the scrotum's pian threshhold is around 125F, but if they splashed any water on their thighs it'd burn like hell. There were some amusing shots of the four of them sitting around on bowls with hand towels over their "junk". - I thought I'd throw a couple more "Euphs" in for good measure.
BTW - has anyone heard of "Tea Bagging"? It refers to a hazing ritual where someone is held down whilst someone else (presumably the hazer and not the hazee) kneels over them and sits his balls on the poor guys face.
www.mp3.com/clootie |
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Dave Noisy
Minister of Chaos
Canada
4496 Posts |
Posted - 07/16/2003 : 23:53:19
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Bwaahahaha - i saw the same show, it was so WEIRD!
Tommy and i go WAAAY back..maybe my buddy stole it from him.
Tea bagging is a classic..what's that movie..??
I think Tim is my long-lost brother.. |
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Atheist4Catholics
= Cult of Ray =
USA
925 Posts |
Posted - 07/17/2003 : 07:03:27
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Dave, I think you must be right. We are long lost brothers. Our mother sent me to the states when I was a baby because she wanted a future for me!
www.mp3.com/clootie |
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Cult_Of_Frank
= Black Noise Maker =
Canada
11687 Posts |
Posted - 07/17/2003 : 07:22:09
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[quote]Originally posted by bazza
the sneaky butcher. gets the meat in the back door.
That is pure genius; it's now part of my vernacular. Hi-larious. |
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mereubu
= FB QuizMistress =
USA
2677 Posts |
Posted - 07/17/2003 : 07:59:46
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I don't know if this will even translate, but back when we had only one bathroom we developed a code based on the theme song to Smoky and the Bandit. (Don't ask me how it began--like most family traditions, I'm sure its beginnings were steeped in alcohol.) Anyway, if you had to take a dump but could wait a little while, you would announce your situation as being "eastbound and down" but if the situation was dire then you were "loaded up and truckin'".
'Nother wanking euphemism: "roughing up the suspect." |
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Carolynanna
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Canada
6556 Posts |
Posted - 07/17/2003 : 08:14:51
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I've heard of the dirty sanchez, I haven't done it persay, but I've heard of it.
nother wanking euphenism: a date with the palm sisters. |
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speedy_m
= Frankofile =
Canada
3581 Posts |
Posted - 07/17/2003 : 08:45:53
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| "Persay" (per se)? Do tell.... |
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Carolynanna
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Canada
6556 Posts |
Posted - 07/17/2003 : 09:02:25
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| Don’t correct my spelling! I think its like a rimmer. |
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speedy_m
= Frankofile =
Canada
3581 Posts |
Posted - 07/17/2003 : 09:05:21
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| Clearly, you have no idea what Dirty Sanchez is. Shame. If you did, you would keep that phrase and the term "per se" as far away from each other as possible. |
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Carolynanna
>> Denizen of the Citizens Band <<
Canada
6556 Posts |
Posted - 07/17/2003 : 09:07:44
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| All right then, what is a dirty sanchez? |
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speedy_m
= Frankofile =
Canada
3581 Posts |
Posted - 07/17/2003 : 09:12:31
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| I don't feel this is the appropriate venue to conduct such a conversation, and furthermore, I am too much of a gentleman to utter such vulgarities. I can only recommend that you google this query, and possibly print off a detailed diagram of the manuever in question so you may try it out at home. |
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Cult_Of_Frank
= Black Noise Maker =
Canada
11687 Posts |
Posted - 07/17/2003 : 09:14:05
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| Yes, Mr. "I've done it all... especially the walrus and to a lesser extent the Houdini", tell her what a Dirty Sanchez is. :) |
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speedy_m
= Frankofile =
Canada
3581 Posts |
Posted - 07/17/2003 : 09:15:11
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Also, if you have time, look into the following:
"Houdini"
"Cleveland Steamer"
"Stove Pipe"
and, if there's time,
"Tuscaloosa Tutu"
I'm going to go throw up now. Good day. |
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speedy_m
= Frankofile =
Canada
3581 Posts |
Posted - 07/17/2003 : 09:15:52
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| Ah, the walrus... NEVER start with the walrus.... |
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JamesM
= Cult of Ray =
308 Posts |
Posted - 07/17/2003 : 09:20:39
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If you think the Dirty Sanchez is profane, ya oughta ask about town as to what the Pirate is.
-Jimmy M. |
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floop
= Wannabe Volunteer =
Mexico
15297 Posts |
Posted - 07/17/2003 : 09:31:01
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the thing about the Dirty Sanchez is, it doesn't really seem like something you'd really want to do.. same goes for the Cleveland Steamer (if not more so)..
i mean, is there really that much of this kind of thing going on that they have to have a euphemism made for it? |
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Atheist4Catholics
= Cult of Ray =
USA
925 Posts |
Posted - 07/17/2003 : 09:34:41
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Wait, Dirty Sanchez is the one that goes under your nose, right? So which one is when it goes under her nose?
www.mp3.com/clootie |
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Cult_Of_Frank
= Black Noise Maker =
Canada
11687 Posts |
Posted - 07/17/2003 : 09:50:48
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| Yeah, none of those are really things you'd do (unless you're a filthy bastard, and I apologize in advance to any filthy bastards I may have offended), they're just kind of funny to think about. |
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