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GarlicSoul
- FB Fan -
36 Posts |
 Posted - 06/07/2003 : 00:39:09
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The Tao of Road House
Never underestimate the brilliance of a shitty script.
Maxim, January 2003
Though it appears on the surface to be merely the story of Dalton, a contemplative philosopher/bouncer, this 1989 Patrick Swayze classic contains larger, greater truths that may hold keys to explaining the universe. Oh, yeah, it also features a totally naked Kelly Lynch! Yowza!
Dalton: “Pain don’t hurt.”
Meaning: Dalton accepts all; he is Oneness. By embracing pain, the pain becomes part of him, it becomes one with him. Therefore, pain don’t hurt—except the throbbing ache of a stiffie induced by the aforementioned naked Kelly Lynch. [Take a deep breath; hold.]
Dalton: “I’m only good at one thing, Doc—I never lose.”
Meaning: By denying the very possibility of loss, one will always emerge victorious. Even the question of how amazingly hot a naked Kelly Lynch is becomes timelessly irrelevant. (She has a role in this particular movie, just in case you didn’t know.)
Dalton: “Nobody ever wins a fight.”
Meaning: This lesson may appear at first to be in direct opposition to the previous lesson, but what is winning without losing or losing without winning? One entity cannot exist without the other—dynamic balance is the goal of Tao. By simply yielding, one overcomes the desire to put one’s head through a wall every time Kelly Lynch gets naked on-screen. Either that or maybe our pal Dalton is just a babbling idiot.
Dalton: “Be nice…until it’s time not to be nice.”
Meaning: Here Dalton demonstrates the third principle of Taoism: Cyclical Growth, the endless spin of the yin and the yang. As the sun is replaced by the moon and the moon is replaced by the sun, there is a moment for all things—both light and dark, both clothed and naked, both Kelly and Lynch. [Release breath.]
Dalton: “It’s my way or the highway.”
Meaning: Dalton gently guides his disorderly disciples toward the True Path of Enlightenment, where all signs point to total Hollywood oblivion—represented spiritually by the glistening breasts of you-know-who.
The Tao of Dirty Dancing
Never underestimate the brilliance of a shitty Patrick Swayze movie.
Maxim, June 2003
Groin-grinding choreography aside, ancient Chinese wisdom and the perky nubs of a pre-nose-job Jennifer Grey make DD a classic.
Johnny: “The steps aren’t enough—you have to feel the music.”
Meaning: Johnny (Swayze) demonstrates to Baby (Grey) the principle of Oneness: Lose yourself in the song and become the dance. There’s no old nose or new nose, just one nose.
Johnny: “Nobody puts Baby in a corner.”
Meaning: Baby doesn’t stagnate—she evolves through a public display of her new mambo skills, a boost in confidence that can otherwise be achieved only through rhinoplasty.
Johnny: “Last month I’m eating Jujubes to stay alive. This month women are stuffing diamonds in my pocket.”
Meaning: Johnny accepts Dynamic Balance and his coexisting dualities. Costarring in a huge blockbuster doesn’t mean you won’t be relying on candy for sustenance again.
Johnny: “All it is is one-two-three-four, one-two-three-four.”
Meaning: In breaking down the mambo into a simple rhythm, Johnny illustrates Harmonious Action. Strength is gained through action; big Semitic honker is replaced by WASPy button nose.
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gracie
= Cult of Ray =
United Kingdom
573 Posts |
Posted - 06/07/2003 : 04:02:26
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| no body put baby in the corner is possilbly the best line ever in a film- a crap film anyway. patrick swayze isn't always in crap film, he was quite funny in donnie darko. |
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bazza
* Dog in the Sand *
Ireland
1439 Posts |
Posted - 06/07/2003 : 04:28:39
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| i loved donnie darko. it almost makes up for that awful road kidnapping movie he did. yikes. |
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peter radiator
= Cult of Ray =
USA
653 Posts |
Posted - 06/09/2003 : 06:22:00
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"Black Dog" is hands down the best Patrick Swayze, Randy Travis and Meatloaf movie EVER!
~ Peter Radiator
"Real music is out there and real people are making it." ~ Webb Wilder |
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Itchload
= Cult of Ray =
USA
891 Posts |
Posted - 06/09/2003 : 10:42:07
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| Roadhouse...Roadhouse is it fellows, sorry. I'm not being subjective either. Roadhouse is simply it. |
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