| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Homers_pet_monkey |
Posted - 07/11/2004 : 14:42:20
I just wanted to say I am sorry.
This is all gonna seem a little dramatic, but it's me being honest. I am laying everything to bear now.
I am 27, I have lots of very good friends, a great family that love me and I am healthy. I am however, extremely lonely. I split with the only girl I ever loved about two and a half years ago. It hit me as hard as anything in my life ever. I never realised how much I loved her until she was gone, but now she is gone, my life feels empty and pointless.
When I discovered this forum, I was curious, I wanted to see what being part of an online community would be like. Could it help fill a void (you think crazy things when you are heart-broken I guess), could it make my life seem more worthwhile? I have grown to love it, as you may have noticed by how much I post here. Unfortunately, because I am so lonely (my life is full of people who I may well love, but with whom I do not connect, who I do not feel are listening to me), this often means a lot of my posts are rubbish, random thoughts. I am sorry for this, I didn't think it would affect people. I now know it did.
I am incredibly depressed about all of this, but I do get affected emotionally by things very easily. You will not remember, but when I saw Jim's topic about his depression and thoughts of suicide, I posted that it freaked me out because I had had thoughts that very day, like day dreams of someone starting such a topic, but with me as the person who posted them. There was a simple reason for this, because I was actually thinking of it. Not seriously thinking about suicide (I wouldn't have the guts, nor the selfishness to leave the ones I love devestated), but about how people on the forum, the people who I really like and thought I had connected with, might react. Would they be sad? If so, how long for? Would it affect their lives in anyway? This is purely a selfish thought but a human one none the less, and one I have had lots of times about my friends too.
Well, I am done I guess, I have at least pulled myself together enough now to stop crying onto my keyboard (good job, it's not water-proof), but yeah it still upsets me that I have gotten like this. I wish I could be more happy all of the time.
I wish it was the 60's
I wish I could be happy
I wish, I wish, I wish that something would happen.
I do not want this to reflect badly upon ANYONE on this forum, including myself. I just wanted to pour out some emotion that I have bottled up, and I have done that now. That's all this is, along with a completely genuine apology for annoying anyone on here. If nothing else, I thank this forum for allowing me to do that.
__________________________________________________
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. |
| 35 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Malax |
Posted - 07/19/2004 : 09:29:45
I had to use the covers yeah because I used mainly first album titles and stuff and I hardly listen to that album. The new album was mainly impossible to use. How the fuck do you fit something like falco vs the young canoeist or kkkitchens (what were you thinking?) into a heartfelt post. A friend and I once had a whole conversation with someone using stereophonics songs. It wasnt till I wouldnt believe your radio he caught on.
Anyway yeah back on topic.
I May've Joined The Cult Of Frank If I Knew What The Balls Was Going On.
*Adapted By Carolynanna* |
| GypsyDeath |
Posted - 07/19/2004 : 08:59:56
haha, I was wondering if you had to sit there with all of the albums in front of you trying to make some kind of mclusky-heart felt post...but hey, it worked. Maybe we should allt ry making posts using purely song titles.
Just thought I'd throw that in there... |
| Malax |
Posted - 07/19/2004 : 08:46:12
Ha cool I spent about 15 minutes writing it trying to fit as many mclusky songs as I could. I managed 8 and it makes me look like some kind of sensitive soul. I guess I mean it.
I May've Joined The Cult Of Frank If I Knew What The Balls Was Going On.
*Adapted By Carolynanna* |
| GypsyDeath |
Posted - 07/19/2004 : 08:34:45
aww. malax, I think thats one of the nicest posts ive ever read from you. Im glad it looks liek leveryone, after 3 pages, understands what mike was actaully saying!
Just thought I'd throw that in there... |
| Malax |
Posted - 07/19/2004 : 08:31:21
The Difference Between Me And You Is That Im Not On Fire?! Why would you have that in your head?
:P
Im a reasonable person I understand what you say, no one said their pain and sadness is more painful and said than your, or anyones for that matter. Through this medium there is a message which mike is trying to get across. I get it. Its just some people take more joy from these pages than myself. What I/we've learned from all of this is to be more understanding and that problems often pose as solutions - that ones for you mike. Its hard to loose a girlfriend, I know, but even though it often feels like only she will bring you happiness its not the end of the world.
Come on now people we are all friends here the less stoning friends the better.
8
I May've Joined The Cult Of Frank If I Knew What The Balls Was Going On.
*Adapted By Carolynanna* |
| GypsyDeath |
Posted - 07/19/2004 : 07:39:54
I think what Tre is trying to say and has touched on in her posts, is that I think a lot of people are forgetting everyone on this board - even though we have the common bond of the music - is here for different reasons. More relevant to regular posters, admittedly, but eveyones way in whoch they view the board, view their part on the board, and view the activites on here vary greatly.
Everyone is going on about how everyone has been depressed. Does this mean that mikes pain is less relevant because he wasnt the first person on here to share with us the fact that hes been there as well? This whole thread ive had Mclusky going through my head...their album title says it all I think.
Some of you may see this as just some where you go to talk abut music or whatever your reasons are, But Mike happens to see it as much more than that. The fact that he has aggravated some members on here, and that the whole derailment thing was handled in the way it was has hit him hard.
So, what does a guy do? When you feel youve annoyed someone with out realising, what do you do? You apologise, and explain your reactions.
THAT IS WHAT THIS THREAD IS.
Just thought I'd throw that in there... |
| VoVat |
Posted - 07/17/2004 : 17:57:57
quote:
I find his honesty admirable to be quite frank
But he ate your hamster!
Cattle in Korea / They can really moo. |
| Opaque |
Posted - 07/17/2004 : 17:31:39
*HUGS* to da Monkey.
"My primitive words match my primitive heart..." - Mercury Rev |
| Malax |
Posted - 07/17/2004 : 16:39:44
For me to post something extensive again and to argue would make it look like I gave a shit about all of this. I've given my opinion and I've argued its case partly, thats that. You wanna write another 300 paragraphs defending someone you don't know, be my guest.
I May've Joined The Cult Of Frank If I Knew What The Balls Was Going On.
*Adapted By Carolynanna* |
| n/a |
Posted - 07/17/2004 : 15:55:29
well, No. It is the same, a letter or a phonecall saying your words and thoughts are bullshit is the same, both faceless media used for abuse, as can be this forum.
And people were pissed off and said they were pissed off and some people said so in most vehement terms. Some people argued nicely and some not. And it looks to me like an apology was what mike wanted to do, so he wasn't hiding behind any shitty topic thread. Just because it doesn't affect you doesn't mean it didn't affect others. I don't think you should be so dismissive.
And the next day untill ebb chipped in his two penneth this was a pretty much cleared up issue, but this thread wasn't started the next day it was started a good half hour after the kick off so was at the time still relevant.
And at the time, the comments felt pretty personal and were directed, this is all water under the bridge now though. And there is no real reason to dredge it up.
And yeah everyone gets depressed sometimes, it 'aint always easy to just deal. Some people take it real hard. It takes time sometimes and it isn't pleasant which is why I don't understand why people are giving out such bad vibes about it all. If people use the forum as a sounding board or as escapism in context, what's the big deal? really?
Frank Black ate my Hamster
|
| Malax |
Posted - 07/17/2004 : 15:40:20
Thats not the same now is it? Im saying no one is truly pissed off by threads going off topic etc etc. If they are I doubt they need an apology, if they do, theres somethin up. No?
However if we are discussing personal attacks and such (which we aren't) then yeah your right I would be slightly annoyed but not like I wouldn't forget about it as soon as I close the page. But thats not what we are discussing so....
I May've Joined The Cult Of Frank If I Knew What The Balls Was Going On.
*Adapted By Carolynanna* |
| n/a |
Posted - 07/17/2004 : 15:08:57
Is it not the reaction of a good human being to be both annoyed and frustrated by personal insults and excessive rudeness in any form? Whether it be in person, over the phone, by a letter or online? You'd get pissed off if you got a letter calling your thoughts and words bullshit why should this be any different?
Frank Black ate my Hamster
|
| Malax |
Posted - 07/17/2004 : 15:03:43
Im not, not respecting what he has to say or even giving him a hard time. I know all about the derailment post. He's not going to reply to this and say "oh yeah your right I was just posting for attention", is he?
My point is, its just a forum, if anyone is truly pissed off by the goings on, on this messageboard they have some serious problems anyway.
I May've Joined The Cult Of Frank If I Knew What The Balls Was Going On.
*Adapted By Carolynanna* |
| n/a |
Posted - 07/17/2004 : 14:51:19
I don't think that was the point malax, I think this thread is a responce to the derailed thread. It kicked off when someone posted that they didn't like the silly posts made by mike, myself and others and reffered to them as bullshit. Whilst this aggressive craziness was going on in derailed, which I'll admit to being fully involved in this other thread aggressiveness, some people got upset. I got angry but some got upset.
I also think this thread was mis-read by many people, it's not a cry for help or an imminent threat of suicidal intentions it's an honest laying down of what the guy feels and why these random posts occured in the first place. It reads in context like a sound reason for the origin of the posted banter and an apology to those people on here who were annoyed by it and didn't kick off because of it. Hence the I'm sorry
I can't speak for mike obviously but I never saw this thread as the look at me look at me like me thread some people have taken it to be and responded both in kind and in severe unkind ways. It is a reactive post to a nasty situation which at the time got very heated.
I find his honesty admirable to be quite frank, It's stuff most people can relate to, we all have those moments, so give him a break and respect what he has to say.
Frank Black ate my Hamster
|
| Malax |
Posted - 07/17/2004 : 14:40:07
I don't agree entirely with what ebb has said throughout all his posts but I semi agree with some bits. I don't really see why you are sorry, if you wanna talk about stuff don't mask it with some pointless topic heading. There are a number of people on here who say how shit their lives are and thats why they post so much and blame every odd comment on 'their lives'. Everyone has been depressed before (I know I was, I so desperately wanted to go to Uni in America but I couldn't afford it) just deal with it, shit comes round possibly for the better, if it doesn't, make it. As for me saying I like you and stuff, I don't see the point, will it make you feel better?
I May've Joined The Cult Of Frank If I Knew What The Balls Was Going On.
*Adapted By Carolynanna* |
| Cheeseman1000 |
Posted - 07/17/2004 : 07:34:03
quote:
Originally posted by GypsyDeath
Despite the little comments here and there, I dont thin any one truly dislikes anyone else on the forum. Its nto really possible...I mean sure I have a disregard towards many members, but not an active dislike (aprt from one).
Oh yeah, cheers Mel. I thought we'd moved on from that. Just cos I slapped you once in the face, you needn't hold a grudge...
Kind regards,
Dr. Simon
Specialist In Broken Hearts |
| GypsyDeath |
Posted - 07/17/2004 : 06:40:36
Mike, I was at first surprised when I realised how much certain things effect you. And I think it shows what a genuine, and sweet guy you are.
Despite the little comments here and there, I dont thin any one truly dislikes anyone else on the forum. Its nto really possible...I mean sure I have a disregard towards many members, but not an active dislike (aprt from one).
And hey, if you committed suicide, you couldnt come to the next meet up, and ya know you dont wanna be missing that!! hehe.
Just thought I'd throw that in there... |
| Carolynanna |
Posted - 07/15/2004 : 10:47:09
hehe, I love that show.
A revolutionary new treatment,
Shut the fuck up by Doctor Dennis Leary :) |
| Homers_pet_monkey |
Posted - 07/15/2004 : 10:34:17
Aint it just! Still a beautiful thing though.
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Live every day as if it were your last. Eventually you'll be right
|
| Little Black Francis |
Posted - 07/15/2004 : 10:32:19
shut the f=-k up!
()the life's tough get a helmet is a Dennis Leary Rip off from a bit he does called "Dr. Shut the f&k up!", I caught you)
Ik heb je oma geneukt met de voorbind dildo van Floops moederhehehahhahehehaha |
| Carolynanna |
Posted - 07/15/2004 : 10:26:25
Life's tough, get a helmet ;) |
| Homers_pet_monkey |
Posted - 07/15/2004 : 10:15:20
And thanks to you too Sir Rockabye. I am cool now, it was more outside problems that have been getting me down (as I did actually say in my original post, but Ebb is too much of a numbnuts to understand).
_________________________________________________________
Live every day as if it were your last. Eventually you'll be right
|
| Sir Rockabye |
Posted - 07/14/2004 : 21:35:04
Homer's Pet Monkey. I guess you probably don't know me very well, so my saying this probably doesn't mean much, but in your 3687 you've said some cool things. You are a pretty clever guy, and while you rack up a ton of posts, for the most part they are all of substance and contribute to the topics at hand. We are all happy to have you here at the FB.net board.
I lift weights, but I don't sweat. I go for a swim, but I don't get wet. |
| Homers_pet_monkey |
Posted - 07/14/2004 : 12:13:51
We know all we need to know.
_________________________________________________________
Live every day as if it were your last. Eventually you'll be right
|
| Monsieur |
Posted - 07/14/2004 : 04:24:11
quote:
Originally posted by Ebb Vicious
quote:
Originally posted by Monsieur
Obviously, Ebb, it's easier to talk about someone else than about yourself.
this thread isn't about me. if you want to talk about me i feel sorry for you because i am really boring.
this thread is about one man's struggle for attention. his quest to fish for compliments from total strangers who will never meet him.
That is exactly my point. If someone communicates things about himself, it's easy to attack him. But he cannot reply to your attacks, because we don't know shit about you, Ebb.
Now, you have the right to be annoyed by people who are complaining. In that case, ignore them. Go post a funny story in my "post a story" thread. Or play chess. |
| Little Black Francis |
Posted - 07/13/2004 : 22:28:19
oh, oops. I almost forgot! HMP, Mike, I lopve you dude! I'm so glad we made freinds!
Peace! My friend.
o yasumi nasaihehehahhahehehaha |
| Little Black Francis |
Posted - 07/13/2004 : 22:27:27
charming topic! btw
when I want to kill myself, I ten dto floss, cut my fingernails and toenails, brush my teeth 6 times a day, bathe 3 time s a day, eat as much food as I can, and get drunk as a skunk, and smoek roughly 60 sigarettes... smoke a bunch of dope and watch oild videos of my gigs....
I f**cking cannot wait until I turn 28!
I absolutely abhor being 27!
beanos noches fuckers!!!!!!!!!!!!
(ps, floopp? SAFO, you c@#t! =) j/k
Oh, by the way Ebb, I know it's not your shtick, but how abouts trying to give being sensitive a shot? at least a day in court? Just a suggestion. You can shove it directly up your foul asshole if you would rather, but whatevea... Ebb "resident soothsaying asshole" Vicious"
________________________________________
OT, hey Ebb V.
(Hey Dave M. (ebb vicious), long time no see?
How've you been?
How is Ann Arboh treating you soda jetk??? these daze? hehehahheha
I love you Dave, you are the most blunt person I've never met
I Love your humor
But don't try to to start a fight with me... I'l f88in take you out, promise, not threat!)
o yasumi nasaihehehahhahehehaha |
| Ebb Vicious |
Posted - 07/13/2004 : 22:02:52
quote:
Originally posted by Monsieur
Obviously, Ebb, it's easier to talk about someone else than about yourself.
this thread isn't about me. if you want to talk about me i feel sorry for you because i am really boring.
this thread is about one man's struggle for attention. his quest to fish for compliments from total strangers who will never meet him. |
| Homers_pet_monkey |
Posted - 07/13/2004 : 16:41:01
quote:
Originally posted by Ebb Vicious
quote:
Originally posted by Tre
kind of nice to know that you aren't paying much attention really. Gives my whole ignorance slant a real boost
what is there to pay attention to? this thread has as much substance as a children's sugar puff breakfast cereal.
you twats are using your medication as proof of how ill you are. if that's not the height of circular logic for the tragically emo i don't know what is.
throw yourself off a building already.
And that. You can stop now, that should just about do it.
_________________________________________________________
Live every day as if it were your last. Eventually you'll be right
|
| Monsieur |
Posted - 07/13/2004 : 16:40:53
Obviously, Ebb, it's easier to talk about someone else than about yourself. |
| n/a |
Posted - 07/13/2004 : 16:40:43
this is like being at the circus but funnier
Frank Black ate my Hamster
|
| Ebb Vicious |
Posted - 07/13/2004 : 16:38:03
quote:
Originally posted by Tre
kind of nice to know that you aren't paying much attention really. Gives my whole ignorance slant a real boost
what is there to pay attention to? this thread has as much substance as a children's sugar puff breakfast cereal.
you twats are using your medication as proof of how ill you are. if that's not the height of circular logic for the tragically emo i don't know what is.
throw yourself off a building already. |
| Homers_pet_monkey |
Posted - 07/13/2004 : 16:33:21
quote:
Originally posted by Ebb Vicious
look it's a classic pity party. are you ladies having fun?
ps - the dashboard confessional board is that-away -->
And that.
_________________________________________________________
Live every day as if it were your last. Eventually you'll be right
|
| n/a |
Posted - 07/13/2004 : 16:32:00
quote:
Originally posted by Ebb Vicious
and if you tell yourself it's ok to sit around staring at your navel and whinging about how tough you have it you could turn into any number of mopes in this thread.
you're all right, you are worthless losers. you have three choices, though. kill yourself; selfish. keep sitting around and feeling like a shit stain; slightly less selfish. or actually pick yourself up and do something with your life; the only option that actually takes work. oh no :(
babies.
kind of nice to know that you aren't paying much attention really. Gives my whole ignorance slant a real boost
Frank Black ate my Hamster
|
| Ebb Vicious |
Posted - 07/13/2004 : 16:29:07
and if you tell yourself it's ok to sit around staring at your navel and whinging about how tough you have it you could turn into any number of mopes in this thread.
you're all right, you are worthless losers. you have three choices, though. kill yourself; selfish. keep sitting around and feeling like a shit stain; slightly less selfish. or actually pick yourself up and do something with your life; the only option that actually takes work. oh no :(
babies. |
