| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Opaque |
Posted - 07/01/2004 : 09:54:55
So I went against my better judgment and actually went to see Van Helsing. YAGH! What a travesty.
But it wasn't the worst. Oh no. Not by far. Some years back I went with a friend to see "Air Bud." Why? Cause we really didn't have much going on that day. And I kid you not here, the ticket seller refused to sell tickets to us. She looked at me and said, "I cannot in good conscience sell you tickets to see this movie." So we went home.
Some time later, being all the more curious at this point, I rented the movie when it came out on video. And well. I cannot in good conscience recommend this film to you now.  
"My primitive words match my primitive heart..." - Mercury Rev |
| 35 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Jefery With One F |
Posted - 07/20/2004 : 20:48:10
quote:
Originally posted by Little Black Francis
Wal Mart fucked up and priced the DVD at 4.88$ instead of 14.888$
Joke's on you. It wasn't a mistake.
Vote Bush in 2004 |
| ferk |
Posted - 07/20/2004 : 19:56:17
Anaconda is pretty bad
|
| TarTar |
Posted - 07/20/2004 : 16:58:34
No, I didn't see it. But there's so many movies called Man's Best Friend, I just wanted to know which one you were talking about.
Dean Ween, shortly before Brando died: "He's played Vito Corelone, Colonel Kurtz, and Stanley Kowalski all in one lifetime. What have you done?" |
| Daisy Girl |
Posted - 07/20/2004 : 13:50:57
Hi everyone! My worst vote goes to Adam Sandler in "Going Overboard". I love Adam Sandler but this was an early movie that totally sucked... I could only watch about 10 minutes. |
| shineoftheever |
Posted - 07/20/2004 : 13:01:28
That would be the one TarTar, 1993 to be exact, you liked it?
 "Too cool for Cults" |
| TarTar |
Posted - 07/20/2004 : 11:58:06
Are you talking about the Man's Best Friend from about 10 years ago with Ally Sheedy? Where the dog flips out?
Dean Ween, shortly before Brando died: "He's played Vito Corelone, Colonel Kurtz, and Stanley Kowalski all in one lifetime. What have you done?" |
| shineoftheever |
Posted - 07/20/2004 : 10:30:21
Man's Best Friend is by far the worst movie I have ever endured, I had the misfortune of taking a date (first date) to this, we ended up sleeping together for a week, but there was never a chance after that film. I saw her about 4 years ago and we joked about the movie and our 1 week love affair. Quite amusing really.
"Too cool for Cults" |
| Surfer Rosa |
Posted - 07/20/2004 : 09:09:32
Feeling Minnesota - hands down winner for me (and I sat through Swept Away!) |
| GypsyDeath |
Posted - 07/20/2004 : 08:45:32
Jackie Brown is Fantastic, as is starshiptroopers.
and gangs of new york - how dare there be a slur on a scorses piece!!!
Just thought I'd throw that in there... |
| vilainde |
Posted - 07/20/2004 : 08:12:31
Mentioned movies I really, really like:
Spider
Face Off - How can anyone not like this movie? I watched it like 20 times.
Jackie Brown
Ghost Dog
Starship Troopers
Also, I think Gangs of New York, The Abyss and The Hulk were quite good.
The worst movie I've ever seen is The Patriot, hands down. I couldn't walk out of the theatre cause my wife was there too and enjoyed the movie, so I had to close my eyes for the last 30 minutes.
Dean, The Avengers is a good choice too.
Denis
|
| begeegs |
Posted - 07/05/2004 : 08:27:24
This is a movie that I would recommend to anyone as it is THE worst movie of all time as well as being so incompetent that it was funny...
James Woods in John Carpenter's Vampires...
He was such a miscast that they gave a profile of him (playing the tough vampire hunter) and you see a very out of shape man. One scene showed a massive bouncer that James Woods was trying to get past the bouncer who tried to stop him. Woods - gave him a cold stare and the massive bouncer gets very intimidated - hahaha!! It was so bad...but the other actor of the century, Daniel Baldwin was even worse. He was so poor that it had us pissing ourselves.
In another scene, with a woman tied to a bed who could possibly turn into a vampire (scantily clad, of course because you know how vampires are incredibly more powerful fully clothed). It was a hotel in which stealth was the key, so the woman wakes up and starts screaming 'Help me, Help me...' and Baldwin in his fantastic acting ability, puts his hand over her mouth and shouts even louder than the woman, 'Shut up or I'll snap your fucking neck!'...such acting talent and definately destined for the Oscars...
So if you want a Mystery Science Theatre-type movie - get this one!! |
| TarTar |
Posted - 07/04/2004 : 13:33:07
There aren't plans for a sequel, are there? The ending was set up for one. Maybe once the makers of the film realized it sucked, they decided to scrap those plans.
"There is a new craze in the nation/ it is lamination/ we like to laminate/ we laminate our driver's license/ so cannot be changed" |
| Little Black Francis |
Posted - 07/03/2004 : 23:45:28
Dungeons and Dragons
I hate that movie
giocare al golf? |
| Opaque |
Posted - 07/02/2004 : 22:28:20
Which brings me to... "ABRAXAS: Guardian Of The Universe". Oh yeah. Starring Jesse "The Body" Ventura as some sort of space cop that is trying to save stuff. It is beyond bad to the point of being legend. -5 gold stars and get ready wash your brain out with soap after this one. 
"My primitive words match my primitive heart..." - Mercury Rev |
| Jason |
Posted - 07/02/2004 : 19:05:17
Joe Bob Briggs wrote a fine review of THE KILLER SHREWS back in '89:
http://www.joebobbriggs.com/drivein/1989/killershrews.htm |
| TarTar |
Posted - 07/02/2004 : 18:38:57
I didn't even watch the whole thing. I couldn't. And when I heard about how shittilly it ended, I was glad to have missed that. I mean, I probably would have smashed the TV screen without even thinking about the fact that doing so would not damage the film in anyway. It's best not to mention that film around me. I'm just going to continue posting diatribes on that piece of sheeeot!
"There is a new craze in the nation/ it is lamination/ we like to laminate/ we laminate our driver's license/ so cannot be changed" |
| TarTar |
Posted - 07/02/2004 : 18:37:19
Oh man. Dungeons and Dragons was awful. I couldn't believe my old roommate even rented that. I knew it was crap before seeing it, but I didn't even think it would be as bad as it was. Man, that was stupid.
"There is a new craze in the nation/ it is lamination/ we like to laminate/ we laminate our driver's license/ so cannot be changed" |
| VoVat |
Posted - 07/02/2004 : 17:35:03
"The Killer Shrews" is an actual movie? There's a Young Fresh Fellows song about wanting to be a B-movie star, and it has the line "Godzilla's been attacked by the killer shrews." I didn't know it was referring to an actual movie, though. I suppose I have a lot to learn in the ways of the B-movie.
Cattle in Korea / They can really moo. |
| Opaque |
Posted - 07/02/2004 : 16:37:01
quote:
Originally posted by Jason
quote:
Originally posted by Opaque
quote:
Originally posted by Jason
My Worst Movie Ever is 200 CIGARETTES (or is it 300 CIGARETTES?).
But is it as bad as The Killer Shrews? Man... The Killer Shrews was so bad. Dayum I love that movie.
It's so funny that you'd respond to me about The Killer Shrews as I actually own it on DVD.
See... Don't you really feel like you need one of those dioramas now?
"My primitive words match my primitive heart..." - Mercury Rev |
| Opaque |
Posted - 07/02/2004 : 16:27:32
quote:
Originally posted by mereubu
The ending of the Abyss sucks ass--it looks like a giant soapdish is rising out the sea.
*GIGGLING LOUDLY*
"My primitive words match my primitive heart..." - Mercury Rev |
| meifen |
Posted - 07/02/2004 : 16:24:29
hows about Dungeons and Dragons, ever had the misfortune of picking THAT one up? Blower.
-----------------
"You think you're so cool cuz you can pee with your penis...!" -Rob Schneider |
| floop |
Posted - 07/02/2004 : 13:47:49
RIVER'S EDGE is a classic. one of my fave's ..
it's to hard to say what the worst movie i've seen is, but i walked out of the Leslie Nielson movie WRONGFULLY ACCUSED after about 15 minutes. that's a record.
also, THE PILLOW BOOK, despite the excellent cinematography, was one of the more painful films i've had to watch. please show more slow motion shots of calligraphy and Ewan MacGregor's sack . thanks. |
| Jason |
Posted - 07/02/2004 : 13:39:26
quote:
Originally posted by Opaque
quote:
Originally posted by Jason
My Worst Movie Ever is 200 CIGARETTES (or is it 300 CIGARETTES?).
But is it as bad as The Killer Shrews? Man... The Killer Shrews was so bad. Dayum I love that movie.
It's so funny that you'd respond to me about The Killer Shrews as I actually own it on DVD. I live in Dallas, TX and The Killer Shrews is kind of a cult movie in this area because it was produced by Gordon McLendon. He was a Texas guy who built lots of drive-in theaters, but is mostly famous for being credited with inventing Top 40 radio in the 50s. His big station, KLIF in Dallas, is still active some 50 years on. It's a talk station now.
Disagreements in the thread:
JACKIE BROWN
I have big reservations about Quentin Tarantino, but i love that movie. I think it's his best.
STARSHIP TROOPERS
It IS a satire and intentionally corny. Classic movie fans might enjoy some of the subtle references throughout. The vision of Starship Troopers is this sort of Aryan future. The movie never comes out and says this, but it seems to be set in a world where the Nazis won the war and everyone is very blond and white and smiling. Some of the Nazi-esque uniforms hint at this. |
| Cheeseman1000 |
Posted - 07/02/2004 : 12:24:24
Starship Troopers is alright if you look at it like a satire. I so hope it was intended that way.
Plus its got Jake Busey! How can you not like Jake Busey?!
Kind regards,
Simon
Admissions |
| darwin |
Posted - 07/02/2004 : 12:15:16
Another great thing about The Abyss: Chris Elliott. What the hell is doing on that ship? |
| TarTar |
Posted - 07/02/2004 : 12:03:24
When I saw Starship Troopers with my friends' family, his stepmom and stepsister couldn't stop giggling and laughing at how bad the film was. My friend and I, being 16 or 17, thought the film was pretty awesome (though it woulda been better if Denise Richards had gotten naked), so we couldn't figure out why they thought it was such a hoot. I need to go back and watch it now. I'm sure it's ridiculous.
"There is a new craze in the nation/ it is lamination/ we like to laminate/ we laminate our driver's license/ so cannot be changed" |
| darwin |
Posted - 07/02/2004 : 12:03:21
quote:
Originally posted by mereubu
The ending of the Abyss sucks ass--it looks like a giant soapdish is rising out the sea. Also, Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio is the kiss of death for any film.
Even in a wet t-shirt? |
| offerw |
Posted - 07/02/2004 : 12:02:09
Oh yes, Ghost Dog was great fun.
wilhelm |
| mereubu |
Posted - 07/02/2004 : 11:59:41
The ending of the Abyss sucks ass--it looks like a giant soapdish is rising out the sea. Also, Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio is the kiss of death for any film. The film is rife w/overacting (and I normally love Ed Harris) and you could predict virtually everything before it happened. My husband actually got kicked out of a showing of The Abyss b/c he couldn't stop giggling. (The same thing happened to him when we went to see "A Few Good Men.") |
| TarTar |
Posted - 07/02/2004 : 11:55:25
Yeah, I remember liking The Abyss a lot. It's been awhile, though.
Mun Chien Andalusia, two great films are on your list of bad films. Both Jackie Brown and Ghost Dog are great pieces of cinema. I'm a huge fan of both Tarantino and Jarmusch, and these two films might not be their best work, but they're certainly not bad in any way and a lot better than most of the shite that gets released.
"There is a new craze in the nation/ it is lamination/ we like to laminate/ we laminate our driver's license/ so cannot be changed" |
| offerw |
Posted - 07/02/2004 : 11:34:28
Ed Harris is great. The Abyss was good but the end sucked a bit - that whole spaceship thing coming out of the sea. They should have kept what was down there a mystery.
wilhelm |
| ramona |
Posted - 07/02/2004 : 11:22:08
Ed Harris.
My mom's high school friends did the special effects for that movie, so I am forced to like it by blood law or something.
_____________________________________________________________________
Each time the world turns 'round
It doesn't make a fucking sound
It doesn't mean that we don't feel it
It means nothing without your love
Means nothing without your love
|
| darwin |
Posted - 07/02/2004 : 11:16:44
The Abyss? What was wrong with The Abyss? I saw the director's cut of it in a theater. I like what his name (played John Glenn in The Right Stuff) and drowning freaks me out so the movie was tense for me. |
| mun chien andalusia |
Posted - 07/02/2004 : 11:15:06
whta? "the abyss" is one of the best fims ever.
 join the cult of errol\and you can have a beer\without having to quit smoking
|
| mereubu |
Posted - 07/02/2004 : 11:10:55
For me, the hands-down worst movie of all time is "Nukie," with "The Abyss" a close (and abysmal) second. |
