| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Homers_pet_monkey |
Posted - 06/30/2004 : 13:14:54
OK, I was in KFC yesterday and as I'm munching away on my 'finger lickin' I looked down at the freshen up towel. It read, "Tear open and use".
What the fuck!? Talk about useless instructions. I mean these things hardly require instructions surely, but what the hell is the point anyway if you are gonna end it with the word 'use'!? If you are so dumb that you need to follow these instructions then how to 'use' the product is obviously beyond you in the first place.
So anyway, anybody got any other useless instructions/notices etc to share?
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If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. |
| 35 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Little Black Francis |
Posted - 07/04/2004 : 00:20:26
Oneperson's trash is another's treasure.
Or something like that...
giocare al golf? |
| TarTar |
Posted - 07/04/2004 : 00:11:20
What's obvious to one person is what another is oblivious to.
"There is a new craze in the nation/ it is lamination/ we like to laminate/ we laminate our driver's license/ so cannot be changed" |
| Little Black Francis |
Posted - 07/03/2004 : 22:25:18
Socks go on your head.
I'll let yall figure that one out.. hehehahha
giocare al golf? |
| meifen |
Posted - 07/03/2004 : 21:47:48
I bought a large storage bin from a cheapo dollar store or somthing. On the inside of the lid theres a sticker with a picture of a toddler child sitting in the bin with an X over it. Again if you need to be told not to store your child in a bin, uhhh yea you shouldnt be a parent!
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"You think you're so cool cuz you can pee with your penis...!" -Rob Schneider |
| GypsyDeath |
Posted - 07/01/2004 : 08:49:22
sherbert?! That sounds odd...I dont know..sherbert, down there? hmm. Im intrigued. Not sure how it could work though. but hell, ill give it a go!
There was actually a whole thing in a newspaper over here recently about these sort of instructions. Something shitty like the times, sun, daily mirror or something (for the record, i did not buy it, it happened to be round my friends house..)..I may have kept it though, i keep everything with anything of interest in like that. You should see my collection of Guardians!
I bet you never thought your movie would turn out this way
You crossed the other way, youd hope i wouldnt see you, you say youre doing fine, but thats not what it looks like, your undercovers on...
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| Coldheartofstone |
Posted - 07/01/2004 : 08:41:47
Ok so can someone tell me how socks work? |
| benji |
Posted - 07/01/2004 : 02:23:57
quote:
Originally posted by pfeffa
So, I guess the tiger balm stuff is just for guys?
speaking of tingling - apparently sherbet is very very good for girlies in search of such things.
i am a boy so have never tried it, but i know people who have and they swear by it.
 You Know You Want To! |
| Little Black Francis |
Posted - 06/30/2004 : 21:25:34
What about Shampoo and Toothpaste and Mouth wash? Like I need instructions?
My bottle of dick cream has no mention of stroking techniques...
sorry guys |
| Coldheartofstone |
Posted - 06/30/2004 : 18:50:28
quote:
Originally posted by TarTar
quote:
The sun goes down and everything just gets filthy
Cleanliness lies within the sunlight. The darkness breeds and assists filthiness. That's why rock 'n' roll shows are played at night. Hell, rocks are dirty, but don't be afraid to roll around in 'em.
"You gotta watch the mota, Thurston. Yr fuckin memory just goes out the window."
what about pointy dirty rocks? that can't be good. getting all dirty and bloody...is anyone else turned on?
Her life was saved by Rock & Roll. |
| n/a |
Posted - 06/30/2004 : 18:17:24
I am a GIRL
Frank Black ate my Hamster
|
| pfeffa |
Posted - 06/30/2004 : 18:13:14
So, I guess the tiger balm stuff is just for guys? |
| TarTar |
Posted - 06/30/2004 : 18:05:54
quote:
The sun goes down and everything just gets filthy
Cleanliness lies within the sunlight. The darkness breeds and assists filthiness. That's why rock 'n' roll shows are played at night. Hell, rocks are dirty, but don't be afraid to roll around in 'em.
"You gotta watch the mota, Thurston. Yr fuckin memory just goes out the window." |
| pfeffa |
Posted - 06/30/2004 : 17:40:45
I'm a girl. I don't have a Mr. Happy.
(But I'm very happily female.)
Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe? |
| Coldheartofstone |
Posted - 06/30/2004 : 17:38:34
The sun goes down and everything just gets filthy.
Her life was saved by Rock & Roll. |
| TarTar |
Posted - 06/30/2004 : 17:36:45
Instructions to use the spankerchiefs I bought:
If right-handed, remove 1 spankerchief from box with left-hand. With right-hand, begin playing with yourself until you feel that force is about to be unleashed. When you feel this, bring left-hand down onto Mr. Happy and cover the tip of him with spankerchief. Unleash. Toss out used spankerchief. DUH!
"You gotta watch the mota, Thurston. Yr fuckin memory just goes out the window." |
| n/a |
Posted - 06/30/2004 : 17:23:48
It's proper use is as a sort of wonderfull antiseptic healing ultra balm
If you so chose to perverse it... it tingles....
Frank Black ate my Hamster
|
| pfeffa |
Posted - 06/30/2004 : 17:02:21
Uh, what do you do with tiger balm? It looks like it numbs things?
darkness, come teach me |
| shineoftheever |
Posted - 06/30/2004 : 17:01:57
pecker is pretty funny
"That's Nuckin' Futs" |
| n/a |
Posted - 06/30/2004 : 17:00:24
willy is the one that cracks me up every time..... repeat after me... willy
Frank Black ate my Hamster
|
| El Barto |
Posted - 06/30/2004 : 16:55:29
Beaver is one word I cannot say or hear without bursting into laughter. Fucking "beaver." I'm laughing at myself right now.
Boycott cults and t's |
| Malax |
Posted - 06/30/2004 : 16:10:22
I think theres a simpsons quote that goes something like this:
COMMENTATOR:"Have you got football fever? If so the only cure is to get two tickets to this weeks game. warningticketsshouldnotbetakeninternally"
HOMER:"See, because of me now they have a warning"
I May've Joined The Cult Of Frank If I Knew What The Balls Was Going On.
*Adapted By Carolynanna* |
| n/a |
Posted - 06/30/2004 : 15:58:17
I'm sure they would bee much bee-loved
Frank Black ate my Hamster
|
| Homers_pet_monkey |
Posted - 06/30/2004 : 15:48:47
But they wouldn't bee-grudge me my bees!
__________________________________________________
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. |
| n/a |
Posted - 06/30/2004 : 15:38:39
your friends won't bee-lieve it
Frank Black ate my Hamster
|
| Homers_pet_monkey |
Posted - 06/30/2004 : 15:36:22
I am bee-sotted.
__________________________________________________
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. |
| GypsyDeath |
Posted - 06/30/2004 : 15:31:58
Tiger balm sounds intriguing. I hate ann summers, there stuff is shit, and the vibrators are way over priced (yet i still go in there). Theres much better sex shops in brighton than ann summers.
I did try the shower thing, yeah. youre right, its just the same as having a jet stream
I bet you never thought your movie would turn out this way
You crossed the other way, youd hope i wouldnt see you, you say youre doing fine, but thats not what it looks like, your undercovers on...
|
| n/a |
Posted - 06/30/2004 : 15:29:20
I'm sure it will bee most bee-coming
Frank Black ate my Hamster
|
| Homers_pet_monkey |
Posted - 06/30/2004 : 15:28:02
It will bee amazing!
__________________________________________________
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. |
| n/a |
Posted - 06/30/2004 : 15:21:41
gypsy did you try the detachable shower? And I also really *really* reccomend buying a pot of tiger balm... 50p any old hippy shop and miles better than the "rub" you buy in ann summers for a fiver
it will look bee-ootifull
Frank Black ate my Hamster
|
| Homers_pet_monkey |
Posted - 06/30/2004 : 15:17:22
Yeah my fantastic bee-ard!
__________________________________________________
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. |
| GypsyDeath |
Posted - 06/30/2004 : 15:12:16
mmmm...jet streams....
I bet you never thought your movie would turn out this way
You crossed the other way, youd hope i wouldnt see you, you say youre doing fine, but thats not what it looks like, your undercovers on...
|
| n/a |
Posted - 06/30/2004 : 15:08:19
you kucky *lucky* boy, you should wear them as a beard. that would impress everyone
Frank Black ate my Hamster
|
| Homers_pet_monkey |
Posted - 06/30/2004 : 14:46:21
Hot diggity damn!
__________________________________________________
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. |
| n/a |
Posted - 06/30/2004 : 14:43:59
bees
Frank Black ate my Hamster
|
| Homers_pet_monkey |
Posted - 06/30/2004 : 14:28:16
And I have..................
__________________________________________________
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. |
