| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Monsieur |
Posted - 06/28/2004 : 07:19:48
I have just got a PhD of Happiness & Joy at the University of Paris. It took me a while to get it, and I have studied very hard.
You are all so nice here and I have noticed that some of you are feeling depressed. That is why I am offering you a FREE CONSULTATION. Post your problems and concerns, and see how easily I will help you to get rid of them.
Please allow me some time to answer, as I am taking some holidays and don't have a computer all the time. |
| 35 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Madame |
Posted - 09/15/2009 : 14:06:24
quote:
Originally posted by n/a
Dr Happiness, I recieved a letter from sheffield hallam accepting me on their course but I am fretting about how to pay for it, I considered a career development loan from the bank but have come to the conclusion that all banks are fucking evil after charging me EIGHTY FUCKING QUID in charges TODAY! Should I seel other sources of funding? pimping and crackhouses and robbery and dealing and the like?
Frank Black ate my Hamster
so what did you finally end up by doing? |
| Homers_pet_monkey |
Posted - 07/08/2004 : 14:50:04
No thanks. I got my fingers burnt when I tried to enter the normal Guiness Book Of Records.
Damn that lit match holding record! Damn it to hell!
__________________________________________________
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. |
| GypsyDeath |
Posted - 07/08/2004 : 08:18:29
quote:
Originally posted by Homers_pet_monkey
You been reading the Guiness Book Of Sexual Records again Mel? Feeling inspired?
Damn howd you know Mikey? Fancy joining me in my quest to stardom (via the Guiness book of Records)?
Just thought I'd throw that in there... |
| Monsieur |
Posted - 07/08/2004 : 08:09:51
quote:
Originally posted by GypsyDeath
Should you give yourself a limit on how many guys to flirt (maybe go further with) in any one night?
Just thought I'd throw that in there...
Having sex with many people, a practice commonly known as gang bang, usually reveals a deeper problem. Try sports. |
| Monsieur |
Posted - 07/08/2004 : 08:07:26
Cheesy, I will sue you for illegal practice of medicine. What do you think? We have our rules. Be prepared to receive a letter from the Court in a very near future. |
| Cheeseman1000 |
Posted - 07/06/2004 : 10:17:42
OK, then, you'll have to pay yourself. Teach you to study properly first time round 
Can you make them white A4 window envelopes?
Ta
Kind regards,
Simon
Admissions |
| n/a |
Posted - 07/06/2004 : 10:08:12
Dear Super Cheese master of the universe
Thankyou for both your prompt reply and usefull tip, I have ordered a cart of shiny red apples and manilla envelopes as these are the gifts I understand those working in the field of academia are most likley to appreciate. Shiny apple for teacher and manilla back handers for administrive staff who handle deadlines and grade storage.
Unfortunatley I did try sponsorship, I only got a 2(ii) and the board that deals in Biomedical/Biomolecular funding damn near laughed in my face when I tried to probe them *sigh*
tre watches her debt mountain rise past £20K......
Kind Regards
Tre demon lord of stonewashed denim
Frank Black ate my Hamster
|
| WolfManMikeLonely |
Posted - 07/06/2004 : 10:05:30
It takes talent to fuck up a simple post like that and I am a talented guy.
"Hey fuck you if you don't like it."
-Johnny Thunders
www.transposed.net |
| apl4eris |
Posted - 07/06/2004 : 10:02:47
Or, make a killing with an independent zombie movie set in a children's hospital, that takes the 2005 Cannes film festival by storm.
 oopsie! |
| Cheeseman1000 |
Posted - 07/06/2004 : 09:59:27
Tre, just a word of advice. Most admissions offices will have statues (or at least statuettes) of the staff, mainly for the purpose of votive offerings and the like. Its general practice nowadays to leave some sort of gift, whatever you feel is sufficient, at the base of the statue as a form of thanks. Just a note for future.
Look around for scholarships, or try to wangle some sponsorship. Its not really my area, but there are sources, I believe.
Kind regards,
Simon
Admissions |
| apl4eris |
Posted - 07/06/2004 : 09:46:07
quote:
Originally posted by WolfManMikeLonely
I have a question for Dr. Happiness. Is it true that you are in face a warm gun?
"Hey fuck you if you don't like it."
-Johnny Thunders
www.transposed.net
Nice Freudian typo there.
oopsie! |
| n/a |
Posted - 07/06/2004 : 09:22:52
Dear Big Cheese,
Thankyou for your advice on the matter, however I now appreciate that in my first correspondance I did not make myself adequately clear in that the course I am going to do is postgraduate so has to be self funded. The fine upstanding institution that I aready owe THIRTTEN FUCKING GRAND TO, the students loans company, will be unable to help me in this matter. So it's either corporate whores (banking) or crack whores (pimping) for me.
Thank you for your time and consideration
Frank Black ate my Hamster
|
| WolfManMikeLonely |
Posted - 07/06/2004 : 09:10:40
I have a question for Dr. Happiness. Is it true that you are in face a warm gun?
"Hey fuck you if you don't like it."
-Johnny Thunders
www.transposed.net |
| Cheeseman1000 |
Posted - 07/05/2004 : 14:28:47
Dear Tre,
Thank you for your email. I suggest you contact your Local Education Authority (LEA), who may be able to assess you for either a means-tested grant or a student loan. Alternatively, you may wish to visit the university website for details about scholarships, bursaries etc.
I hope this helps.
Kind regards,
Simon
Admissions |
| Homers_pet_monkey |
Posted - 07/05/2004 : 14:20:55
You wouldn't make much Tre!
__________________________________________________
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. |
| n/a |
Posted - 07/05/2004 : 12:51:57
Dr Happiness, I recieved a letter from sheffield hallam accepting me on their course but I am fretting about how to pay for it, I considered a career development loan from the bank but have come to the conclusion that all banks are fucking evil after charging me EIGHTY FUCKING QUID in charges TODAY! Should I seel other sources of funding? pimping and crackhouses and robbery and dealing and the like?
Frank Black ate my Hamster
|
| Homers_pet_monkey |
Posted - 07/05/2004 : 12:19:49
You been reading the Guiness Book Of Sexual Records again Mel? Feeling inspired?
__________________________________________________
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. |
| GypsyDeath |
Posted - 07/05/2004 : 06:18:35
Should you give yourself a limit on how many guys to flirt (maybe go further with) in any one night?
Just thought I'd throw that in there... |
| Monsieur |
Posted - 07/05/2004 : 03:28:41
quote:
Originally posted by Little Black Francis
Dear Dr. Happy,
What do I do when someone says to me, "Go fuck yourself!" Do I take it literally or what? Do I beat my meat and smack my moma? Please Help.
Sincerely,
Fucking Confused in the USA
nuotare? hehehahhahehehaha
Sorry LBF, I only accept serious patients. |
| betty |
Posted - 07/02/2004 : 18:27:09
very deep m. i know what you mean i think.
if we find that one thing, everything else slides into perspective and we are free to choose what we get all twitterpated about.
for me its music and the opposite sex.
my chatter for dr daddy is, what can i help you with?
warm wishes and fond regards,
betty |
| VoVat |
Posted - 07/02/2004 : 16:16:36
quote:
quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by VoVat
quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
did you know if you were red shoes it apperently means you want to be fucked?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Is that only true for girls? If not, what does it mean for Ronald McDonald?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Cattle in Korea / They can really moo.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THAT quite possibly conjured up one of THE most disturbing thoughts ive ever had.
Thanks! I try. <g>
Cattle in Korea / They can really moo. |
| Monsieur |
Posted - 07/02/2004 : 10:10:07
I did not commit suicide because I was initiated. |
| BrendanT |
Posted - 07/02/2004 : 10:05:00
How can I believe you that it will lead me to suicide unless you have already committed and are speaking to me via the FB.net site from the "other" side? Are you still happy being dead?
Strummer-man
I had me a vision!
It's step, hip, step, pivot! Are you trying to piss-off the volcano?! |
| Monsieur |
Posted - 07/02/2004 : 10:00:36
I am here to make you happy. Trying to solve this puzzle will lead you to suicide, believe me. |
| BrendanT |
Posted - 07/02/2004 : 09:58:22
What is the difference between happiness and joy?
Strummer-man
I had me a vision!
It's step, hip, step, pivot! Are you trying to piss-off the volcano?! |
| Monsieur |
Posted - 07/02/2004 : 09:50:26
I need more time to answer this question. |
| Carl |
Posted - 07/02/2004 : 09:48:47
Riddle me this, Monsieur Happiness....what's the difference between happiness and joy? Is joy a more celebratory state, and happiness just general contentment? And is'nt it true that although goths wear black, obsess about death and read bad poetry, they actually indulge in these things to obtain happiness? And...actually, that's enough questions. |
| Monsieur |
Posted - 07/02/2004 : 08:24:45
quote:
Originally posted by Tre
Dear Dr Daddy. I wore green for hope and was happy! Untill I thought that maybe hope was a childish emotion and I should pursue the course of realism which although more cynical is definatley more adult. Will silver glittery be ok for tomorrow?
Frank Black ate my Hamster
No. Go change your clothes, young lady. |
| Monsieur |
Posted - 07/02/2004 : 08:23:11
quote:
Originally posted by GypsyDeath
I think Frank eating your hamster would be more of a problem!!!
Doctor happiness. Where should I go to university? London, or Manchester?
I bet you never thought your movie would turn out this way
You crossed the other way, youd hope i wouldnt see you, you say youre doing fine, but thats not what it looks like, your undercovers on...
If you want to be happy you should go to London. Just listen to the music from Manchester : Joy Division, the Smiths, the Stone Roses, the Happy Mondays... In Manchester, you're either drunk or depressed. |
| Monsieur |
Posted - 07/02/2004 : 08:20:49
quote:
Originally posted by remig
quote:
Originally posted by apl4eris
Or hats in general.
Hats were stylish and classy, they made even the most boorish of men look like gentlemen. Right Monsieur?
Would we be a happier planet if everyone wore hats, took them off when they entered a business, fanned themselves with them in tent revivals, and used esoterically-carved, dark-stained exotic wood hat racks again?
 Swedish Chef's "Dumpling of Wisdom": Øder tis moodle in der noggin tu smacken der ouchey und vinger-slingers ur to smacken-backen und fix de morkin, yøobetcha!
People stopped wearing hats because of cars:
It's difficult to drive with a hat on, and if you've got a passenger you're obliged to put it on the backseats where it's dificult to reach when you go out of your car. Unless you're driving a cabriolet (car with no roof) you don't need to protect your head for rain or sun.
So may be when Earth will run out of oil, we'll be wearing hats again.
I don't agree with you Remi. I think people no longer wear hats because they don't want to spoil their expensive hairdoes (is this well spelled?) |
| Monsieur |
Posted - 07/02/2004 : 08:17:45
quote:
Originally posted by apl4eris
Or hats in general.
Hats were stylish and classy, they made even the most boorish of men look like gentlemen. Right Monsieur?
Would we be a happier planet if everyone wore hats, took them off when they entered a business, fanned themselves with them in tent revivals, and used esoterically-carved, dark-stained exotic wood hat racks again?
Swedish Chef's "Dumpling of Wisdom": Øder tis moodle in der noggin tu smacken der ouchey und vinger-slingers ur to smacken-backen und fix de morkin, yøobetcha!
My grandfather used to wear a hat, and he was one classy dude. I am more into berets :
 |
| GypsyDeath |
Posted - 07/01/2004 : 08:25:04
quote:
Originally posted by VoVat
quote:
did you know if you were red shoes it apperently means you want to be fucked?
Is that only true for girls? If not, what does it mean for Ronald McDonald?
Cattle in Korea / They can really moo.
THAT quite possibly conjured up one of THE most disturbing thoughts ive ever had.
I bet you never thought your movie would turn out this way
You crossed the other way, youd hope i wouldnt see you, you say youre doing fine, but thats not what it looks like, your undercovers on...
|
| GypsyDeath |
Posted - 07/01/2004 : 08:24:09
quote:
Originally posted by Homers_pet_monkey
quote:
Originally posted by Carolynanna
quote:
Originally posted by benji
quote:
Originally posted by Tre
If pink is slutty does that make purple really slutty?
nah, wearing purple means you're gay.
 You Know You Want To!
nah, purple means you're sexually frustrated.
So does peeling the labels off beer bottles, which is what Mel was doing on Saturday.
She should have worn her FMHB
Haha. Yeah, ok I was peeling off bottle labels..but I always do..erm, yeah, ok, see your point.
And for your information I dont have FMHBs!!!! I know I said i have knee high boots...but they arent like FMHBs. not even FMBs. no where near.
I bet you never thought your movie would turn out this way
You crossed the other way, youd hope i wouldnt see you, you say youre doing fine, but thats not what it looks like, your undercovers on...
|
| GypsyDeath |
Posted - 07/01/2004 : 08:22:18
quote:
Originally posted by gracie
quote:
Originally posted by GypsyDeath
[
Doctor happiness. Where should I go to university? London, or Manchester?
why don't you go in Brighton? Otherwise London, it has to be.
Brighton doesnt have any courses I want to go on. London is ver expensive. ah well, maybe all but one wont except me and then I dont have to choose! I wish other people could make my decisions for me.
I bet you never thought your movie would turn out this way
You crossed the other way, youd hope i wouldnt see you, you say youre doing fine, but thats not what it looks like, your undercovers on...
|
| remig |
Posted - 07/01/2004 : 03:15:00
quote:
Originally posted by apl4eris
Or hats in general.
Hats were stylish and classy, they made even the most boorish of men look like gentlemen. Right Monsieur?
Would we be a happier planet if everyone wore hats, took them off when they entered a business, fanned themselves with them in tent revivals, and used esoterically-carved, dark-stained exotic wood hat racks again?
Swedish Chef's "Dumpling of Wisdom": Øder tis moodle in der noggin tu smacken der ouchey und vinger-slingers ur to smacken-backen und fix de morkin, yøobetcha!
People stopped wearing hats because of cars:
It's difficult to drive with a hat on, and if you've got a passenger you're obliged to put it on the backseats where it's dificult to reach when you go out of your car. Unless you're driving a cabriolet (car with no roof) you don't need to protect your head for rain or sun.
So may be when Earth will run out of oil, we'll be wearing hats again.
|
