| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Monsieur |
Posted - 08/04/2005 : 05:59:51
Let me tell you this story:
This morning, as usually, I took the Paris metro n°13 to go to my office. A couple of stations later, a very nice looking girl came in, and sat just in front of me. She had a pastel orange (what do you call the color of a peach) top and a nice green skirt with very beautiful, tanned legs and those high-heeled, hippy-looking sandals that I think I like. Moreover, her face was very soft and sweet and it revealed a smooth and kind personality.
As every young man of my education and social status, I avoided staring at her and betraying, by my look, that I was sexually attracted to her so I simply watched, not without effort, through the window (which, as everyone who takes the metro knows, is ridiculous as there is nothing to see through the window).
Now, all that stuff made me think today (I am not very busy at the moment): why was I afraid of her seeing me looking at her? This has nothing to do with the fact that I might be afraid she wouldn't like me and such stuff - people never talk to each other in the metro and their relationship, if any, is purely visual. In fact, I think I did it because I was afraid that she might feel objectified. As one of the main leitmotivs in my (strict) education has been not to humiliate people, I just had to keep the same neutral attitude towards a young and attractive woman as if it was an old and (naturally for a heterosexual) unattractive man.
So, do you think this part of my education is noble and worth transmitting to my offspring, or do you think it is something that limits the possibility and, as Morrissey would brilliantly yet simply point out, "stops you from doing all the things in life you'd like to"?
Please answer my question as it would help me a lot to know what other people think about this. If you do so, maybe (and maybe not) I will post some pictures to illustrate the story.
Thank you for your attention.
I will show you fear in a handful of dust |
| 35 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| vilainde |
Posted - 08/05/2005 : 06:55:55
damn
Denis
"We brush our teeth with tequila." - Guitar Wolf |
| Surfer Rosa |
Posted - 08/05/2005 : 06:52:48
on the inside front pockets in fact - so no need to drag my ass into this discussion
The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it. |
| vilainde |
Posted - 08/05/2005 : 06:39:32
Moderator! I'm objectified!
I've never posted pictures of my ass though (or have I?). It's not incredible at all really. Now let's talk about your new pair of jeans, the ones with pirate skulls on the back pockets...
Denis
"We brush our teeth with tequila." - Guitar Wolf |
| Surfer Rosa |
Posted - 08/05/2005 : 06:31:34
and how we do love to objectify you
The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it. |
| vilainde |
Posted - 08/05/2005 : 06:12:40
I'm not
Denis
"We brush our teeth with tequila." - Guitar Wolf |
| Surfer Rosa |
Posted - 08/05/2005 : 06:09:18
are men with incredible asses bothered?
The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it. |
| Erebus |
Posted - 08/05/2005 : 05:57:23
quote:
Originally posted by Monsieur
Yes. But once again, if I was a girl with an incredible ass, I would be kind of bothered if everyone looked at it.
Can't say that I've conducted a scientific survey but it seems that many, and perhaps most, girls with incredible asses don't seem bothered at all, given how they often enhance the display. |
| Joey Joe Jo Jr. Chabadoo |
Posted - 08/05/2005 : 05:35:25
quote:
Originally posted by Monsieur
quote:
Originally posted by Joey Joe Jo Jr. Chabadoo
Cher ami, bien sur! Tout dépendra ensuite de la teneur du regard, de la salive qu'il convient de dissimuler sous sa langue, de sa gaule qu'il convient de cacher également. Eviter les survêtements à cette fin (et à bien d'autres encore...). Enfin, un regard émule l'autre si l'esthétique et le charisme de deux êtres peuvent supporter la comparaison.
Brrr... it doesn't sound natural anymore to speak French in this place...
Bien sûr cher Chab', mais ce serait là négliger le pouvoir d'attraction qu'un beau survêt Adidas peut avoir sur une jeune fille de nos jours. Surtout lorsqu'il est associé à une casquette Lacoste!
I will show you fear in a handful of dust
C'est cynique ou bien c'est vraiment ce que tu penses?
 |
| Surfer Rosa |
Posted - 08/05/2005 : 05:27:35
Or maybe there are more important things to worry about?
The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it. |
| Monsieur |
Posted - 08/05/2005 : 05:19:52
Yes. But once again, if I was a girl with an incredible ass, I would be kind of bothered if everyone looked at it.
I will show you fear in a handful of dust |
| Newo |
Posted - 08/05/2005 : 01:48:37
I thought I did answer your question by saying looking isn´t necessarily inflicting humiliation.
--
Les cacahuetes c'est le mouvement perpétuel à la portée de l'homme . |
| Cheeseman1000 |
Posted - 08/04/2005 : 16:39:53
quote:
Originally posted by Monsieur
quote:
Originally posted by Cheeseman1000
Does it count as objectifying if I see a girl then spend the rest of my day dreaming about how I could talk to her, what we'd have in common, etc...
Yes it is objectifying. You are being a naughty Cheeseman!
I will show you fear in a handful of dust
Looks like I'm an objectifier then. As long as I don't post pictures of said imaginings, I'll probably be fine.
How's that for a slice of fried gold? |
| TRANSMARINE |
Posted - 08/04/2005 : 12:03:46
quote:
Originally posted by Monsieur
quote:
Originally posted by TRANSMARINE
I still say the idea of you 'objectifying' her by looking at her is a total unintelligent excuse you are hiding behind...you were scared of her because she is too good for you! That's it! She made you feel weak...you felt inferior because you found her so attractive. It's plain and simple, and happens every day.
I was alone...in my BIG BED
-bRIAN
Perhaps, but if it's something that I do without knowing it, then it's something I don't know.
I will show you fear in a handful of dust
I didn't mean to sound condescending in my post...I was just being frank. I'm offering a possible explanation or suggestion, as you were asking for. People should stop worrying about objectifying this or that, and just do it and accept it, or don't and accept it. There's nothing wrong with individual perceptions, but one opens a can of worms when one puts oneself in a vulnerable spot, which is what you have done by presenting this dilemma. Again, I'm not trying to be mean, just honest. That's all. Instead of pondering something for hours and hours, and before asking advice, I always find it better to let it go BUT when the situation arises again, attempt an alternative action. I find this clarifies a lot of stuff...and in the meantime, you can focus on other stuff life throws at you.
I was alone...in my BIG BED
-bRIAN |
| Carl |
Posted - 08/04/2005 : 11:26:32
I avoid starring at people to the point were I end up starring into space and looking awkward! I'm a real out-the-window looker on public transport, but I've tried to curtail that over time, I mean it's one thing to not look at people too intensely and make them feel uncomfortable, and another to be uncomfortable yourself, being too self-conscious about whether your starring at people for even a moment!! |
| Monsieur |
Posted - 08/04/2005 : 11:18:54
quote:
Originally posted by TRANSMARINE
I still say the idea of you 'objectifying' her by looking at her is a total unintelligent excuse you are hiding behind...you were scared of her because she is too good for you! That's it! She made you feel weak...you felt inferior because you found her so attractive. It's plain and simple, and happens every day.
I was alone...in my BIG BED
-bRIAN
Perhaps, but if it's something that I do without knowing it, then it's something I don't know.
I will show you fear in a handful of dust |
| Crispy Water |
Posted - 08/04/2005 : 10:33:29
What I find strange here is that all this effort was spent to avoid looking at the female in question, but you also state that you have "pictures to illustrate the story." If you were worried that she would catch you checking her out, what do you suppose her reaction would be if you were caught snapping photos of her on the train? Have I misinterpreted your statement?
Nothing is ever something. |
| Surfer Rosa |
Posted - 08/04/2005 : 09:52:59
quote:
Originally posted by Monsieur
quote:
Originally posted by edwina
quote:
Originally posted by Monsieur
Basically what you are all saying that if there's a good looking girl, we have the right look at her.
I will show you fear in a handful of dust
As you have the right to look at a girl (or boy) who is not so good looking or, in fact, anybody. Personally, I don't believe looking equals to objectifying.
The fact that you are looking at an attractive girl may harm a not so attractive girl that is near her.
I will show you fear in a handful of dust
I fear that you are maybe placing far too much importance in your stolen glances.
The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it. |
| TRANSMARINE |
Posted - 08/04/2005 : 09:52:58
I still say the idea of you 'objectifying' her by looking at her is a total unintelligent excuse you are hiding behind...you were scared of her because she is too good for you! That's it! She made you feel weak...you felt inferior because you found her so attractive. It's plain and simple, and happens every day.
I was alone...in my BIG BED
-bRIAN |
| edwina |
Posted - 08/04/2005 : 09:45:40
But that wasn't the reason why you didn't look at this girl, was it?
From what you say, it wasn't not to harm someone less attractive that was nearby. My understanding is that you didn't want HER to feel objectified.
Well, in that case, I don't think that should be a concern. |
| Monsieur |
Posted - 08/04/2005 : 09:38:28
quote:
Originally posted by edwina
quote:
Originally posted by Monsieur
Basically what you are all saying that if there's a good looking girl, we have the right look at her.
I will show you fear in a handful of dust
As you have the right to look at a girl (or boy) who is not so good looking or, in fact, anybody. Personally, I don't believe looking equals to objectifying.
The fact that you are looking at an attractive girl may harm a not so attractive girl that is near her.
I will show you fear in a handful of dust |
| edwina |
Posted - 08/04/2005 : 09:28:27
quote:
Originally posted by Monsieur
Basically what you are all saying that if there's a good looking girl, we have the right look at her.
I will show you fear in a handful of dust
As you have the right to look at a girl (or boy) who is not so good looking or, in fact, anybody. Personally, I don't believe looking equals to objectifying. |
| Monsieur |
Posted - 08/04/2005 : 09:22:16
quote:
Originally posted by Cheeseman1000
Does it count as objectifying if I see a girl then spend the rest of my day dreaming about how I could talk to her, what we'd have in common, etc...
Yes it is objectifying. You are being a naughty Cheeseman!
I will show you fear in a handful of dust |
| Monsieur |
Posted - 08/04/2005 : 09:19:40
Spudbo, very nice to see you again.
I will show you fear in a handful of dust |
| Monsieur |
Posted - 08/04/2005 : 09:19:01
quote:
Originally posted by Joey Joe Jo Jr. Chabadoo
Cher ami, bien sur! Tout dépendra ensuite de la teneur du regard, de la salive qu'il convient de dissimuler sous sa langue, de sa gaule qu'il convient de cacher également. Eviter les survêtements à cette fin (et à bien d'autres encore...). Enfin, un regard émule l'autre si l'esthétique et le charisme de deux êtres peuvent supporter la comparaison.
Brrr... it doesn't sound natural anymore to speak French in this place...
Bien sûr cher Chab', mais ce serait là négliger le pouvoir d'attraction qu'un beau survêt Adidas peut avoir sur une jeune fille de nos jours. Surtout lorsqu'il est associé à une casquette Lacoste!
I will show you fear in a handful of dust |
| Monsieur |
Posted - 08/04/2005 : 09:15:40
Its very nice that you all answer how I should approach a hot girl in public transports, and I will certainly try to apply your advice in the near future, but I must say that this was not really my initial question. Nevermind, that's one of the best things about this forum, the way threads deviate.
I will show you fear in a handful of dust |
| Monsieur |
Posted - 08/04/2005 : 09:08:11
quote:
Originally posted by cassandra is
I see... but Ed is dead. Don't you know that in Paaaaaaris?
pas de bras pas de chocolat
The King is dead but he's not forgotten.
I will show you fear in a handful of dust |
| cassandra is |
Posted - 08/04/2005 : 08:33:28
I see... but Ed is dead. Don't you know that in Paaaaaaris?
pas de bras pas de chocolat |
| vilainde |
Posted - 08/04/2005 : 08:30:22
Us people living in the XVème all take example from Balladur, don't you know that?
(sorry, non-French!)
Denis
I know the god of rock n roll / Yeah I sold him my soul! |
| cassandra is |
Posted - 08/04/2005 : 08:23:01
By the way Monsieur, what are you doing in the subway? With all these proletarians and churls that are so lower compared to your noble and so brilliant person?
pas de bras pas de chocolat |
| Joey Joe Jo Jr. Chabadoo |
Posted - 08/04/2005 : 08:19:40
And I would add this is more than a right... This is a DUTY to emulate BEAUTY....
|
| Joey Joe Jo Jr. Chabadoo |
Posted - 08/04/2005 : 08:18:28
quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by Monsieur
Basically what you are all saying that if there's a good looking girl, we have the right look at her.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I will show you fear in a handful of dust
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Cher ami, bien sur! Tout dépendra ensuite de la teneur du regard, de la salive qu'il convient de dissimuler sous sa langue, de sa gaule qu'il convient de cacher également. Eviter les survêtements à cette fin (et à bien d'autres encore...). Enfin, un regard émule l'autre si l'esthétique et le charisme de deux êtres peuvent supporter la comparaison.
Brrr... it doesn't sound natural anymore to speak French in this place...
|
| SpudBoy |
Posted - 08/04/2005 : 08:14:53
I concur, TM - I will admit freely that it was that precise condition that kept me from stating my desires the first time around with my now-spouse. She scared the crap out of me. This has taught me to pay close attention to anything that scares me, as it may be a rare chance to make amazing things happen.
"High fructose corn syrup: It makes the demons worse." - Wesley Willis |
| TRANSMARINE |
Posted - 08/04/2005 : 08:08:03
I think you were just scared because she was to good for you.
I was alone...in my BIG BED
-bRIAN |
| Erebus |
Posted - 08/04/2005 : 08:06:28
quote:
Originally posted by Monsieur
So, do you think this part of my education is noble and worth transmitting to my offspring, or do you think it is something that limits the possibility and, as Morrissey would brilliantly yet simply point out, "stops you from doing all the things in life you'd like to"?
I think it's a symptom of the pathology of our era, in which the natural would beget shame. But the natural will rise again, despite our culturally perverted resistance. |
| SpudBoy |
Posted - 08/04/2005 : 08:05:54
Your education in fact should apply directly to this, Monsieur! In business, you gain nothing if you refrain from bold action, although you must approach your presentation with tact and respect. Talk to her about the tragedy of avoiding people on the metro, compliment her on her choice of attire, or ask an oddball question as a litmus test for compatibility (e.g. do you think Sartre's analysis of the isolation of the individual is a permanent condition? or some such subject matter you enjoy...) - above all, be the charming frenchman you know you are. And if she slaps you, or turns you down, at least you know it was not meant to be. You missed this chance, and where has it gotten you? I am fortunate that I got another chance once I wised up a little, and now I am married to the woman of my dreams. I hate to think where I would be had I not been presented that second chance.
"High fructose corn syrup: It makes the demons worse." - Wesley Willis |
