| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| floop |
Posted - 02/24/2005 : 20:27:14
i know there have been other topics about this but today i reached a new low in road rage. i'm usually pretty zen about nimrod drivers, because i have to deal with it all the time here. i forgive and foreget. it's no use getting too worked up. life it too short. but there is a point where i draw the line..
ie. after about the 4th fucking SUV in a row tries to cut me off.
i with there was a way to have a small-sized refrigerator in my car so i could always keep fresh eggs on hand. nothing would make me happier than the sensation of heaving a few extra-large brown chicken eggs on the roof of brand new Mercedes SUV (like the one today). or, better yet, if the situation really called for it, heaving one through a window and in someone's face (preferably striking them in the forehead region) and watching egg yolk explode all over their leather interior.
there, i feel a little better now.
serenity now....
ist es möglich für ein quesadilla skrotum zu lecken? beim sprechen der quesadillas von LBF, ja. ja in der tatheheheheheheehehee! |
| 35 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| shineoftheever |
Posted - 02/26/2005 : 01:39:06
i love amoeba too. ;)
I'm what you call a repeat offender. I repeat, I will offend again! |
| Surfer Rosa |
Posted - 02/26/2005 : 00:37:34
quote:
Originally posted by floop
quote:
Originally posted by Surfer Rosa
quote:
Originally posted by BLT
quote:
Originally posted by Surfer Rosa
3.5 hours to get from Santa Monica to the Troubadour is just not right.
I don't see how that's possible unless you went via San Bernardino.
Solid gridlock - it was just after all the rain and quite a few roads were closed, so I don't know if that affected it.
I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.
i was going to say that too.. i mean, no question about it our traffic is the absolute fucking worst. but 3 1/2 hours to the Troubadour from SM. even in the worst traffic, it should be an hour 1/2 tops..
it's so sad that you came during all that crappy rain surfer (we're having more right now)
ist es möglich für ein quesadilla skrotum zu lecken? beim sprechen der quesadillas von LBF, ja. ja in der tatheheheheheheehehee!
It wasn't too bad really - had all my amoeba purchases and a tasty bit of company to match. I caught the after effects of the rain and even with the shitty traffic I fell in love with that crazy place.
I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.
|
| Daisy Girl |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 23:16:55
Keep beathing honey!! You know what also seem to be bad are all those mini van drivers too!! You hang in there floop! |
| tobafett |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 21:28:45
and swipe your rewards card to get more points to buy more eggs |
| floop |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 21:10:40
quote:
Originally posted by SpudBoy
You should report them to the BBB. For fun.
and then egg them
ist es möglich für ein quesadilla skrotum zu lecken? beim sprechen der quesadillas von LBF, ja. ja in der tatheheheheheheehehee! |
| SpudBoy |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 21:04:12
If I was the mother, I would sue the store for placing my family at risk. Who knows who the hell that hummer guy is? Without legal intervention, they shouldn't be doing name & address lookups for walk-ins with funny stories. Very scary. You should report them to the BBB. For fun.
"High fructose corn syrup: It makes the demons worse." - Wesley Willis |
| Superabounder |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 20:43:13
Funny egg/SUV story. One of our customers with a Hummer H2 walked out one morning to find it covered in eggs. In his rage he noticed a stack of egg cartons piled next to the car. After trying to wash off the eggs (unsuccessfully) his attention turned to the type of eggs. The brand on the carton turned out to be one sold at a particular grocery store chain only, so he drove to the one nearest his house. Turns out they were able to check their computers or cash registers or something and determine that there was a purchase of 15 cartons of those eggs the night before. Furthermore, the purchase was accompanied by a swipe of their "Reward Card" which gives discounts and tracks purchases. And also has customer information. The mom at the house tried to deny that anyone in her household had egged the Hummer, but the kid cracked and spilled the beans.
Jeez. I would have been so busted if they had had real computers and such when I was growing up.
P.S. That customer was a real prick and was definitely worthy of floop's flaming egg cannon machine.
Irish folk-tales scare the shit out of me |
| shineoftheever |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 16:35:27
wasn't there a car in "running man" that had saw blades coming out the side about knee height or something, that would be cool.
or maybre i'm thinking of the buzz wagon:
I'm what you call a repeat offender. I repeat, I will offend again! |
| floop |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 15:21:09
quote:
Originally posted by shineoftheever
part of me wanted to drive on the sidewalk......
the flame throwing device would eliminate the need to drive on the sidewalk
ist es möglich für ein quesadilla skrotum zu lecken? beim sprechen der quesadillas von LBF, ja. ja in der tatheheheheheheehehee! |
| shineoftheever |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 14:47:22
quote:
Originally posted by apl4eris
The thing about bologna is they may not notice it for a while. Just a quiet, unassuming "splat".
Though the egg is a perfect weapon, and food, it tends to run and make its presence known too soon.
kinda scary that we have corrosive elements in our diets.
I'm what you call a repeat offender. I repeat, I will offend again! |
| shineoftheever |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 14:46:19
quote:
Originally posted by kathryn
A couple of hours ago, I'm driving along with my kid and some
woman has stopped her minivan in the middle of the road, parked
it sideways, so she can block a guy across the cross street
all the better for him to view her leaning most of her body out
of her window and giving him the finger. I hear a little voice
from my backseat ask, "Mommy, what is that lady doing with her
hand?"
 I still believe in the excellent joy of the Catholics
this reminds me of a time when i was driving with my daughter and there was an anti-abortion protest on the sidewalks, people holding up bloody foetus models speared on sticks, signs that say "doctors-murder your own children", "abortion = eternal damnation" sorta stuff, and my daughter says "hey dad, they're having a parade, what's the parade for?" i replied "apparently it's an idiocy and ignorance avocacy parade, please don't look out the window at them" she put her head down too, as i got off the street, then she says, "who has a parade on the sidewalk anyways?" i laughed and agreed.
little kids holding up aborted foetus' on sticks, fucking gross using your kids like that, part of me wanted to drive on the sidewalk......
I'm what you call a repeat offender. I repeat, I will offend again! |
| shineoftheever |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 14:33:33
quote:
Originally posted by BLT
quote:
Originally posted by Surfer Rosa
3.5 hours to get from Santa Monica to the Troubadour is just not right.
I don't see how that's possible unless you went via San Bernardino.
my knowledge of california's geography is pretty slim but i was thinking the same thing "uh, only if you went an hour in the wrong direction first" 
I'm what you call a repeat offender. I repeat, I will offend again! |
| floop |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 14:31:48
quote:
Originally posted by apl4eris
Then again, it certainly couldn't hurt to use both.
i like the way you think apl. would you have any interest in joining my design team?
ist es möglich für ein quesadilla skrotum zu lecken? beim sprechen der quesadillas von LBF, ja. ja in der tatheheheheheheehehee! |
| floop |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 14:30:27
with the egg you get the satisfaction of watching it explode. plus, there's something classicly insulting about throwing an egg. in an almost iconic sense.
also, if you hit a person with an egg it hurts. i've been hit with eggs.. if you're going the throw-through-window route, just something to keep in mind.
ist es möglich für ein quesadilla skrotum zu lecken? beim sprechen der quesadillas von LBF, ja. ja in der tatheheheheheheehehee! |
| apl4eris |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 14:28:23
Then again, it certainly couldn't hurt to use both. |
| apl4eris |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 14:25:04
The thing about bologna is they may not notice it for a while. Just a quiet, unassuming "splat".
Though the egg is a perfect weapon, and food, it tends to run and make its presence known too soon. |
| floop |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 14:13:27
egg yolk/white is also very effective at ruining paint. take it from someone who spent a large part of his childhood throwing eggs at various things (including peoples houses)
ist es möglich für ein quesadilla skrotum zu lecken? beim sprechen der quesadillas von LBF, ja. ja in der tatheheheheheheehehee! |
| apl4eris |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 14:06:19
quote:
Originally posted by Steak n Sabre
quote:
Originally posted by BLT
I've envisioned a gun that shoots brake fluid at offending vehicles. It makes paint bubble.
Yes, just fill up a squirt gun with the stuff. I've also had this thought. The trick here is doing it without getting any on your car....
How about a bologna-pult? You could set up a trigger mechanism through the side-view mirror openings. If you get the slices to land on their roof without them noticng, on a good hot sunny summer's day, it will make a nice polka-dot effect when they finally peel them off. 
(Bologna Method *non-catapult version*= Spudboy-tested and approved.) |
| floop |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 13:33:29
quote:
Originally posted by PixieSteve
quote:
Originally posted by floop
i with there was a way to have a small-sized refrigerator in my car so i could always keep fresh eggs on hand.
if you drove a SUV that might have been possible.
 I joined the Cult of Pi / Because it's cool
you do have a good point, i have to admit.
i'm willing to sacrifice the passenger seat space for a fridge though. if people don't mind sitting in the back
ist es möglich für ein quesadilla skrotum zu lecken? beim sprechen der quesadillas von LBF, ja. ja in der tatheheheheheheehehee! |
| PixieSteve |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 12:52:01
quote:
Originally posted by floop
i with there was a way to have a small-sized refrigerator in my car so i could always keep fresh eggs on hand.
if you drove a SUV that might have been possible.
I joined the Cult of Pi / Because it's cool |
| kathryn |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 12:48:13
Good parenting skills there, KSR! Thanks! I went with a
mumbled, "Um, I don't know sweetheart."
I still believe in the excellent joy of the Catholics |
| KimStanleyRobinson |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 12:38:43
Being a 'not very smart' person and a meanie, honey.
Don't ever do what she's doing or people will think you're not very smart and that you are a meanie.
So, needless to say, if you were waiting around with five bucks in your hand waiting to buy my upcoming brochure Understanding Poop, you can put that five bucks away, 'cause it ain't happenin.
|
| kathryn |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 12:19:37
A couple of hours ago, I'm driving along with my kid and some
woman has stopped her minivan in the middle of the road, parked
it sideways, so she can block a guy across the cross street
all the better for him to view her leaning most of her body out
of her window and giving him the finger. I hear a little voice
from my backseat ask, "Mommy, what is that lady doing with her
hand?"
I still believe in the excellent joy of the Catholics |
| Llamadance |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 11:53:52
quote:
Originally posted by The Calistanian
Has anybody freaked out at some car, and then it turned out you knew the person driving that car, and then you felt bad?
This bloke pulled out in front of my mother-in-law, so she wound down the window, gave him the finger, called him a dickhead, and carried on.
The following Sunday at church, she was introduced to the new vicar, who smiled and said "I believe we've already met" 
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups |
| KimStanleyRobinson |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 11:50:08
quote:
Originally posted by rita
Next time you feel like that do this exercise, breath in and breath out with all your strengh a hundred times, and you'll feel better, I'm sure!
Why is this funny to me?
Headrush?
Roof mounted Howitzer.
Thats all I gotta say. |
| Steak n Sabre |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 11:17:09
quote:
Originally posted by BLT
I've envisioned a gun that shoots brake fluid at offending vehicles. It makes paint bubble.
Yes, just fill up a squirt gun with the stuff. I've also had this thought. The trick here is doing it without getting any on your car....
The Cult of Frank 2.0: It's not the coming of the aliens or anything... |
| n/a |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 10:47:01
Floop, you need to fix that CD player, you're getting dangerous!
Someone tell me why I act like a fool
When things don't go my way
|
| floop |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 10:44:37
some of my design ideas:
i'd like to have an ultra-high wattage spotlight installed on the rear of the car, so when someone has their high-beams on me and they're tailgating.. they can get a retina-destroying taste of their own medicine..
also, pressure-controlled flame throwers on all four sides. that way, depending on the eggregiousness of the offending car, you have the option of going between a "warning flame" setting all the way on up to a "blazing inferno" setting, which would actually set people, and their cars, on fire.
ist es möglich für ein quesadilla skrotum zu lecken? beim sprechen der quesadillas von LBF, ja. ja in der tatheheheheheheehehee! |
| BLT |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 10:34:56
quote:
Originally posted by floop
it's so sad that you came during all that crappy rain surfer (we're having more right now)
34 inches for a town that averages 15 and we've still got two months left to the rainy season. Five more inches and we'll have our highest annual rainfall in recorded history. I love it. |
| kathryn |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 10:25:23
quote:
Originally posted by The Calistanian
Has anybody freaked out at some car, and then it turned out you knew the person driving that car, and then you felt bad?
This happens to me all the time, almost daily, but I never feel
bad just because I know the friggin' moron who drove
like an idiot.
I still believe in the excellent joy of the Catholics |
| floop |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 09:44:23
quote:
Originally posted by offerw
Floop, didn't you fly into a rage because you had no music in the car or is your cd player fixed now?
admittedly, the continuing cd problem could have exasperated my mood yesterday.
ist es möglich für ein quesadilla skrotum zu lecken? beim sprechen der quesadillas von LBF, ja. ja in der tatheheheheheheehehee! |
| floop |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 09:40:38
quote:
Originally posted by Surfer Rosa
quote:
Originally posted by BLT
quote:
Originally posted by Surfer Rosa
3.5 hours to get from Santa Monica to the Troubadour is just not right.
I don't see how that's possible unless you went via San Bernardino.
Solid gridlock - it was just after all the rain and quite a few roads were closed, so I don't know if that affected it.
I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.
i was going to say that too.. i mean, no question about it our traffic is the absolute fucking worst. but 3 1/2 hours to the Troubadour from SM. even in the worst traffic, it should be an hour 1/2 tops..
it's so sad that you came during all that crappy rain surfer (we're having more right now)
ist es möglich für ein quesadilla skrotum zu lecken? beim sprechen der quesadillas von LBF, ja. ja in der tatheheheheheheehehee! |
| offerw |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 08:58:23
quote:
Originally posted by The Calistanian
Has anybody freaked out at some car, and then it turned out you knew the person driving that car, and then you felt bad?
Yes.One morning on my way to work a guy overtook me from an inside exit lane, cutting in front of me. I flashed my lights, rammed the horn and screamed profanities. When I arrived at work the same car was parked in the parking area, it was a colleague I was working with. He apologised but I somehow felt like an arse for losing my cool.
Floop, didn't you fly into a rage because you had no music in the car or is your cd player fixed now?
I was listening to Show Me Your Tears on the way home today and the terrible traffic couldn't worry me one bit.
wilhelm |
| Surfer Rosa |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 08:43:14
quote:
Originally posted by BLT
quote:
Originally posted by Surfer Rosa
3.5 hours to get from Santa Monica to the Troubadour is just not right.
I don't see how that's possible unless you went via San Bernardino.
Solid gridlock - it was just after all the rain and quite a few roads were closed, so I don't know if that affected it.
I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.
|
| The Calistanian |
Posted - 02/25/2005 : 08:31:03
Has anybody freaked out at some car, and then it turned out you knew the person driving that car, and then you felt bad?
1. I am a fsh with no i's.
2. You must be wearing Zubaz, 'cause you're daring to be different.
3. I am a man with 3 fingers...but that doesn't count my index finger nor my thumb. |
